Elijah wasn’t blind to what was happening.
He was falling in love with both Faith and Hannah, but he was determined to give her time, to let her work through her grief and establish her business.
After all, there was really no need to rush things. It wasn’t as if she was going to move anywhere. Or so he told himself.
Chapter Seven
The day was brisk and the sunshine bright though there were clouds building in the west. Hadn’t Leslie said the temperature was supposed to rise to nearly sixty? A real rarity in early April, but she’d also said snow was scheduled for the end of the week. Faith couldn’t stand sitting inside and looking at ledgers and numbers for another minute. Leslie had gone to town for supplies, and Hannah was playing in her pen.
“How about we go for a walk, baby girl?”
She didn’t know if Hannah understood what she’d said, but she looked up at Faith and held out the toy she’d been chewing on. “Yup. Daisy Duck can go with us. Let’s get your sweater and kapp on. There’s a bit of wind outside today.”
Ten minutes later, they were walking around the property.
The sunshine raised her spirits, and the row of tiny houses made her smile. Leslie would be ready to accept reservations at her B and B by May. Faith was predicting a long and successful business.
“Do we go or stay, Hannah girl?”
Hannah didn’t answer, but she did point down the lane and shout “Boos. Boos.”
Sure enough, Eli was driving Boots toward the main house. When she waved at him, he angled toward where they were standing next to the second tiny house.
“Whoa.” He pulled up on Boots’s reins, and Hannah let out a squeal. Hopping out of the buggy, he walked over to where they stood. “Someone’s happy to see me.”
“Boos!”
“She’s happy to see your horse.”
“So you say.” Elijah smiled as Hannah practically jumped into his arms. “I’m going to pretend she’s happy to see me, but take her to see Boots before she bounces out of my arms.”
“She definitely adores that horse.”
“What’s not to like?”
Boots tossed his head in agreement.
Faith stood on the tiny house’s porch, watching the three of them—her doschder, her friend and a feisty chestnut gelding with white socks. They were doing well in Shipshe. Hannah was happy, and Faith was settled. It was true, life hadn’t turned out quite like she’d imagined it when she was a youngie, but it wasn’t bad. She was so grateful for her little girl and for a safe place to live.
But there was the letter to consider.
It was her job to prayerfully consider all possible options. Wasn’t it?
“Is something wrong?”
She hadn’t noticed that Elijah had walked back over and was standing in front of her. He stood there, holding Hannah in his arms and moving his head back and forth as her doschder reached for his hat. He waited, patiently, for her to tire of the game. That was one thing she’d learned that had surprised her—Elijah was an exceedingly patient man when he decided to be.
Plopping down onto the porch steps, she shrugged. She honestly didn’t know how to broach the subject of her moving. It was all so sudden.
“Best to jump in if you don’t know where to start. Unless it’s private, that is.”
“Not private. I value your opinion.”
“You do?”
“Certainly.”
“What about the time I suggested you start quilting for a living?”
“Not your fault. You’d never seen me quilt.”
Elijah sat beside her, still holding Hannah, who was now playing with the toy he’d pulled out of his pocket. He was always bringing her something—a flower or treat or toy. Elijah King would make a fine father when he found the right woman and settled down. She’d once thought he had feelings for her, but then something had happened. He’d pulled back and their relationship had taken on a more friendly tone.
And yet sometimes she caught him looking at her in a way that sent her pulse racing and her mind jumping to conclusions.
“You’re not that bad a quilter.”
“I’m not that good.”
“The buggy quilt you gave me is something I’ll always treasure.”
“One of the squares is upside down.”
“True.”
“Another is sideways.”
“I hardly noticed.”
“Three times I stuck my finger and smeared blood on the fabric. When I tried to wash it out, the colors bled.”
“So that’s what happened. I’d wondered.”
Discussing her missteps in quilting helped to ease the tension in her shoulders. And though she valued Leslie’s opinion, Elijah was just the person she needed to talk to about this. He understood what it was like to be a young adult in today’s world. He understood that their lives and decisions were different from what the generation before them had lived through. Perhaps it was that way for every generation.
She only knew that the choices facing her seemed difficult.
How was one to know what the best thing was?
What if she chose wrong and regretted it the rest of her life?
She glanced again at Elijah and plunged in. “I received a letter yesterday...from Sugarcreek.”
“Where you lived before—with your parents.”
“Yes.”
“But I thought you don’t have any family there.”
“Correct. This letter was from a friend of my dat’s.”
Faith picked at her thumbnail, wondering where to begin. She glanced out at Leslie’s farm. It was a fine day in April. No doubt, Elijah had places to be. She best get on with it if she wanted his opinion.
“He’d heard of my situation...heard of it some time ago. He’d sent a letter to my in-laws last fall.”
“Let me guess. You never received it.” A hint of anger colored Elijah’s voice.
“Correct. I never received it. Levi didn’t realize at first that I hadn’t, so he tried again, waited some time and finally contacted the bishop, who sent him my new address.”
“This Levi... He was a gut friend of your dat’s?”
“He was. I spent many a Sunday afternoon at his home.” Faith smiled at the memory from before her life had become so complicated, from before her mistakes. Then she glanced over at Hannah and suddenly felt the need to hold the child in her arms. She pulled her into her lap.
“Levi had heard about my troubles, and he offered for me to come and live with them. He said that many of the local businesses had asked about me and that he thought I could start back up where I left off.”
“Creating business plans.”
“Ya.”
“Which would mean less accounting work.”
“Exactly.”
“Less peering at numbers and working with spreadsheets.” Elijah gave a mock shudder. When Faith didn’t respond, he bumped his shoulder against hers. “It’s gut to hear from old friends. Why is this bothering you?”
“Because I’m wondering if I should move.”
“Oh.”
“You were listening, right?”
“Ya. I was. Only I guess I didn’t want to hear that part so I skipped right over it.”
Since Hannah had started walking, she was rarely happy in her mother’s lap for long. She arched her back and pushed away, then loudly proclaimed, “Down.”
Faith placed her on the ground. She held on to the porch floor, which was only a foot off the ground, then proceeded to use it to scoot down the length of the porch, looking back and laughing at her mother.
“She’s growing so fast,” Elijah said.
“You think so, too? Seems to me that she was just learning to roll over and now look at her.”
“So you think you should
consider this offer?”
“I have freinden in Ohio. I pulled away from them, when I met Jonas, but they’re people I grew up with. I know they’d support me. They’d be kind.”
“Why didn’t you...” Elijah stopped abruptly and shook his head once.
“Go ahead and ask it. You’ve never held back before.” She couldn’t quite meet his gaze. She suspected she knew what he was going to ask, and it was something that had troubled her since receiving the letter.
“Why didn’t you go back to Ohio when you knew you needed to leave Adams County?”
“I suppose I thought we needed a fresh start. Plus, I think sometimes it’s harder to go back to where people know you—even if they’re kind people. They saw your mistakes, your missteps. You’ll always be the girl who messed up, moved away, then came back.”
Elijah crossed his arms. “The way you say it makes it sound as if what happened was your fault.”
“If you look at it a certain way, it was.”
“I don’t see that.”
“Really? I shouldn’t have agreed to marry Jonas without meeting his family. I should have courted longer. I was grieving the death of my parents, and I was scared, but that doesn’t account for my lack of judgment.”
“You couldn’t have known, Faith.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand, causing butterflies to jump and tumble in her stomach.
“I should have known, though. I should have at least considered that it wouldn’t be the rosy picture I’d painted in my head.” She stood, retrieved Hannah from the end of the porch and put her in front of Elijah. Hannah held on to Elijah’s knees, then lunged to the right, giggling and moving right then left as if she was ready for a game of tag.
“Let’s try to focus on the present. Do you want to move to Ohio?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you think you’d be happier there?”
“Who can say?”
“But the work would be better.”
“Yes, maybe. I mean things are going well here, and I’ve even had a few people come to me for a business plan.”
“That’s wunderbaar.”
“It’s a start. The bulk of my work is still accounting, which you know...”
“Isn’t your favorite thing. You mentioned as much.”
Hannah plopped to the ground and began to rub her eyes.
“Baby girl looks sleepy.”
“She needs lunch. Can you stay?”
“Of course.”
So they moved into Leslie’s kitchen—the one with all the sunlight and the butter-yellow paint. Faith remembered the first morning she’d come there. She remembered Elijah’s confusion when she’d explained what she did for a living. It seemed that he’d grown to accept her now, and Faith knew that he cared for Hannah.
He was a gut friend.
She would miss him if she left.
She realized in a moment of clarity that she was afraid to admit her feelings for Elijah—even to herself. If she allowed herself to care for him, if she allowed herself to love again, could she withstand being hurt? Because few things in life were ever a certainty. She was wiser than the young woman who had married Jonas.
“This place feels like home,” she said as she cut up a banana for Hannah, then placed it on the tray of the high chair.
Elijah was making a peanut butter and jam sandwich, carefully cutting it into small triangles that Hannah could manage. Faith looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time in a long while. Was there a spark between them? Did she want more from their relationship? Was she even ready for that?
The questions filled her mind, collided with the contents of Levi’s letter and made her wish she could take a nap. She supposed the real question she didn’t want to face was whether her relationship with Elijah might change into something else.
Was that what she wanted?
Was it what he wanted?
And was it relevant at all in light of the offer to move to Ohio?
As if he could read her thoughts, Elijah raised his gaze to meet hers. He stepped closer, still holding the plate of peanut butter triangles.
“I would never try to tell you what to do, Faith. You’re an intelligent woman and a gut mamm. I know you can figure this out...”
“But?”
“But the truth is...” He stepped even closer, put his right hand under her chin, then leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. “The truth is that I don’t want you to go.”
* * *
Elijah was stunned at his own boldness. He’d told himself that he wasn’t going to push Faith. That he was going to be patient and wait until she sent the right signals.
But would he even recognize those?
And could he afford to wait?
He wasn’t willing to take that chance.
Faith’s cheeks blushed a lovely pink, and he longed to take her in his arms. Of course, at that moment, Hannah began impatiently beating her plastic spoon against her tray.
“Patience isn’t her gift.”
“Maybe she’ll grow into it.”
“Something tells me she might not.” Faith took the plate from him and placed it in front of Hannah. She sat down in the chair next to her doschder and covered her face with her hands.
“Hey. It’s not that bad.” Elijah sat beside her, pulled her hands down and away, covered them with his. “I won’t kiss you anymore if it’s that upsetting.”
She glanced up at him and shook her head. “It wasn’t the kiss, Elijah.”
“It wasn’t?”
“Nein.”
Before she could say anything else, he leaned forward and kissed her again. He thought Faith’s lips were the sweetest thing he’d ever encountered. They pulled apart, both glancing at Hannah, who appeared too mesmerized by her sandwich to pay them any mind.
He cleared his throat, which was suddenly tight with hope and love and the possibility of all that might be. “We won’t get away with this when she’s older.”
“This?”
“Making out.”
“Elijah King. I was not making out with you.”
“But you wanted to.”
A smile replaced her worried expression, which was what he wanted—what he needed—to see.
“I don’t know what to do, Elijah.”
He turned her hand over, traced the inside of her palm with his fingertip. “I can’t tell you what’s best. I think you need to carefully consider what this friend of your dat has offered and pray on it...which I’m sure you’ve done.”
“I have.”
“And talk to Leslie.”
“She doesn’t want me to go, but says she understands if I decide to. She... She’s become like a mammi to Hannah.”
“I can’t tell you what is the best path for your life,” he repeated. His heart beat faster now, and he could feel sweat pooling down his back. Best to jump in and say what was on his heart. He’d never forgive himself if this was the moment and he missed it. Better to know—even if the knowing meant that the dream he’d treasured these past few months was shattered.
“I can tell you that I want you to stay. I want you here, Faith. I care about you and Hannah.”
“You’ve been a gut friend.”
“I want to be more than a friend.”
There. He’d said it! He’d planned on waiting until summer, maybe fall, but then life didn’t always give you the option of waiting.
Faith was worrying her bottom lip, which seemed to be a bad sign.
But then she glanced up at him and smiled.
“I would like that,” she admitted.
“Yes!” He jumped out of his chair, clasped his hands together and raised them over his head in victory. Then he remembered he was an adult, and he sat back down. “I was worried that y
ou only saw me as a bruder.”
“And I was worried you’d begun courting, maybe someone without so much baggage.”
“I love your baggage.” He glanced at Hannah, who now had peanut butter and jam smeared all over her face.
Faith’s expression slipped into something more somber. “I can’t...can’t make a mistake again. Not now. Not with Hannah.”
“I won’t be a mistake.”
“I thought the same was true of Jonas.”
Elijah sighed. He’d known this would be the hard part. His mamm had cautioned him that a woman who’d been hurt needed time to trust again.
“You’ve met my family. You know they’re nothing like your in-laws. You know my family and our community are both made up of gut people who care for you and for Hannah.” He waited for her to raise her eyes to his—those lovely brown eyes that he sometimes saw in his dreams. “We’ll move slowly. You can take all the time you need.”
Faith nodded as if she heard, but her thoughts seemed a thousand miles away. She stood, extracted Hannah from her high chair and walked to the sink to wash her face and hands.
Elijah handed her a towel when she was done.
“Look at that.” Faith nodded at the scene outside the window, toward the west where a rainbow arched the sky.
“Must have rained over in Middlebury.”
“And to think we could have snow in a few days.”
“It won’t be much—winter’s last hurrah before spring sends it packing.”
They walked out onto the porch. Faith stood there, holding a now-sleepy baby Hannah in her arms, and Elijah stood beside her. The rainbow lingered on the horizon, offering promises and hope and gut things from above.
“Gotte’s promise, right?” Elijah slipped his arm around her waist, pulled her closer against his side. She felt perfect there, as if Gotte had made her to be the other half of him.
“Ya.”
“Like the good book says, He’s promising us that He cares for us and is providing for us.”
“I like to think so.”
An Amish Winter (Love Inspired) Page 8
