by G L Rathweg
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. Something feels… off… I sense a presence but it can’t be.” He replied, clearly distracted.
“What do you mean?” I asked him, concern growing in my voice.
“Hey guys somethings up outside.” Tiffany said.
“Hold on a sec.” I told her, turning my attention to back to Dangun who was growing more agitated by the second.
“Hiro we must change our plans. Someone is here who is stronger than you can hope to defeat. Our only option is…” Dangun began.
“Guys! Listen up! Something is wrong!” Tiffany yelled, cutting Dangun off.
“Tiff what the…” I replied, about to say something about yelling into the phone but she cut me off again.
“Hiro those guys that just arrived are different. They showed up in huge black on black on black SUV’s. I’m talking paramilitary and the guys themselves are all in black on black on black suits. MIB black Hiro.” Tiffany said, excitedly but fear evident in her voice now for the first time.
“Tiffany something’s going on with Dangun too. Change of plans. We’re coming that way and getting the fuck out of here.” I said, basically yelling into the Bluetooth while turning to motion to Dangun whose eye’s had just become as wide as saucers.
“Hiro, one of the guys outside is stepping forward and taking some kind of stance. Holy fuck! A ball of fire just appeared in his hands and is growing larger by the moment. Oh no! Look out!” Tiffany yelled.
“Run!” Dangun cried.
Judging by the fear in Tiffany’s voice and on Dangun’s face I turned to get the fuck out of there just as all hell broke loose. Right as I turned the door exploded inward, immediately followed by a giant burning ball of fire. The door hit me like a truck followed by a blast of superheated air and then a wall of fire. It launched me through the air and careening down my hallway. I flew uncontrollably into the back wall, which was made of drywall covering cement block, impeding my flight as I crashed into and then through it.
The ball of fire which had shot from the demon’s hands had grown during its travel until it was the size of a VW bug when it hit the door. Tiffany had screamed about this over the phone but as the fire hit me, my bluetooth among other things went the way of the dodo. If all the dodo birds had been killed by giant balls of Ki Fire that is.
As I was saying, the blast had hit me so hard that it had knocked me and the door through the wall and into the backyard. Luckily for me I crashed into the ground and rolled through the piles of burnt ash and electrified demon. So not only was I covered with cement brick wall, I had demon yuck all over me as well. The only reason I wasn’t crushed and dead was that my Iron Body was activated. It saved me from being killed, but it didn’t stop me from being hurt. And hurt I fucking was.
The whole day had been one long journey of shitty pain and hurt. Starting this morning and continuing till now with brief interludes of feeling less shitty. Well, I for one was over it. I sat up shaking my head and clearing the debris and dirt from me. I looked around and didn’t immediately see anyone. I tried to call into my bluetooth but it was fried as were my clothes and apparently my mind. I tried something else out.
“Dangun! Tiffany! Hello!” I called, then stopped, realizing the enemy would hear me as well as my friends. If they were still around that is.
“So, you are the cause of all this trouble.” A sinister raspy voice said, from behind me.
I spun in place and dropped into a fighting stance and right as I set myself an unseen blow took me in the side of the head, sending me reeling back to the ground. The attack rattled my brain as I rolled for a half dozen feet. Now I was in the middle of all the demon ash and yuck from the rain of projectiles. This was not going well. Thankfully, my Iron Body saved me again from my head being turned to pulp. I jumped up and set my guard readying for a follow up attack.
“You aren’t much. Dangun has really lost his touch.” The voice said, still in the same tone and in the same place from where he had hit me.
I faced the sound and sucked in my breath as I saw the owner of the blow that rocked me. He was fucking bad ass looking I won’t lie. If I had been creating a bad guy I’d want to make myself look like him. JK, the guy looked like a total tool.
First of all, it was like he stole his whole vibe from Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He was tall and skinny with spiked blonde hair and pale white skin. He wore black leather pants and a black leather jacket with little metal spikes on it’s shoulders.
To top it off he even wore sunglasses at night so that made him a total dickhead by default. If he hadn’t blown up my front door and foyer while knocking me through a wall, then backhanded me across my backyard, I would have thought he was a pussy. Well, I’d have been wrong but he didn’t need to know that.
“Hey, you Twilight looking reject fuck. You are supposed to wait till I open the door when you knock. What were you born in a barn, you Buffy looking bitch!” I jeered, following it up with a mocking laugh.
Judging by the scowl that appeared on his face my attempt at pissing him off worked. Although, the kick to the small of my back which happened a second later that I didn’t even see coming proved it. And had the effect of launching me across the yard was a good response from the asshole.
I clearly received his message. He was alpha and I was a bitch. Well, we’d see about that. And we did. He kicked and punched me a few more times. The demon appeared behind me or in my blind spots each time he smacked and launched me across the yard like a lawn dart.
All of this hadn’t taken awfully long at all. From the fireball front door attack until now had maybe been a minute or three. I was wondering what happened to Dangun and Tiffany as I was getting my ass kicked and like magic they appeared.
The evil S&M wannabe vampire demon slowly walked over to me taking his sweet time. The grin on his face was malevolent to say the least and his rows of sharp fanged teeth accentuated his evil aura. He may have looked like a Village People reject but he was still a bad mother fucker. His last attack had been particularly brutal and I was still recovering on the ground when he arrived at my prone position.
The demon still hadn’t said a word, somehow making him more sinister when he reached down and grabbed me by my ripped and dirty shirt with one hand. He did it with ease as if lifting a baby and lowered his sunglasses with the middle finger of his free hand as he pulled me up to him. I couldn’t help it and I stared into his newly revealed eyes. They were pits dark red fire mixed with what I assumed was brimstone, him being a demon and all.
“You are nothing. Just an insignificant little blip of nothing on my timeline. Remember that as you die.” The demon said, with a voice that sounded like a British Mike Tyson.
He had a fucking lisp! That’s why he didn’t talk. I couldn’t help it and started giggling like an idiot or a drunk.
This served to piss him off even more and he smacked my head into the ground which caused me to stop laughing.
“I hope you enjoyed that. You are weak just like your Master. Goodbye peon.” He lisped, then reached his free hand back and made a fist that burst out in dark red and black fire, covering his whole hand like a torch.
The Iron Body skill had protected my body from a lot of the damage but it didn’t stop all of it. My interior had taken a beating and it felt like my insides were mush. My brain was rattling around my head and I had bit my tongue and could feel blood flowing freely in my mouth. So, I did what anyone would do in this life or death situation. I grinned a bloody grin at the prick fuck and used what strength I had to spit all that mucus and blood right into his smirking face.
Time slowed and I watched in slow motion as the globule of spit and blood travelled through the air and towards the demon. The bloody wet ball moved and changed form as it flew with little bits of spittle and blood detaching like a buckshot round. I watched the demon’s eyes widen in surprise and then disgust as he realized what was about to happen and there was nothing h
e could do to stop it.
The closer the glob came to his face the wider his eyes got all in a slow motion dance and I was glad it was probably going to be the last thing I saw. It hit and then the mucus ball exploded. I mean literally exploded across his entire face covering it like it was setup by a movie effects team. The aim was perfect and it hit his aquiline nose with an audible pop and then proceeded to spread across his face, into his mouth and nose, then up to his eyes.
“Gah! It’s in my mouth!” The demon cried, dropping me to ground and jumping around while spitting and wiping crazily at his blood covered face. He paused, bent over, and started dry heaving.
I wish I could have used this chance and either have fought or escaped or anything. But I didn’t have any energy. I checked my Ki Bar and it was exceptionally low.
KI BAR – 36/250
Not only that, but my body and brain were spent. Exhaustion permeated every fiber of my being down to the cellular level. The bloody spit was my last act of defiance. And it was totally fucking worth it to see that prick flailing around like a little bitch.
He finished his tirade and gave me a look that wasn’t just the promise of death but legit the definition of death. He stomped over to me and raised both fists high in the air and both erupted in fire.
“Die!” He roared, then reached back and was about to cook me when a blinding light flashed out hitting everyone like a physical thing.
“She-He stop!” Dangun’s voice called, ringing out into the night.
I was completely blinded by Dangun’s Ki and I literally saw stars in my eyes for a few seconds. I blinked my eyes over and over and eventually the blurry images began to resolve themselves. I could hear clearly but my vision was fucking wrecked. It felt like I was looking at the world through dirty beer goggles.
“So, you’ve finally shown yourself old man.” The demon, I now knew was called She-He replied.
“And you are filthy and covered in muck as always She-He. Now, begone before I destroy you like I should have done so many centuries ago.” Dangun commanded, dropping into a fighting stance and flaring his Ki on his hands which burst out in white light.
“Damn you Dangun!” She-He yelled.
“Hiro!” Tiffany cried.
This stole my attention and I turned my head, rapidly clearing my eyes to see Nick holding Tiffany in an armbar chokehold by throat in the doorway to the backyard.
“No! Tiffany!” I cried or tried to but it came out as more of a croak.
“This is not over yet. We will finish this on our terms Dangun. Bring the girl!” She-He called, then turned and left followed by the rest of the demons.
“I’m gonna fuck your bitch up Hiro! Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you we stopped by the hospital earlier. We know your old bitch ass grandma had another stroke and was back there. I’m saying we got your grandma too fuck head! Come and get them! If they are still alive when you arrive.” Nick jeered, then started backing away dragging a screaming Tiffany with him.
“Hiro! Help! Get off me you limp dick shithead!” Tiffany cried.
“Shut up you stupid bitch!” Nick replied, wrestling with the struggling girl then hitting her on the back of the head and knocking her out.
They left and disappeared into the night. I fell back to the ground tears forming in my eyes. We had lost. I had lost. They had all the people in the world who mattered to me. Not only that, I was really getting tired of that piece of shit getting away and now he had my fucking grandma and Tiffany! Shit! This is not how things were supposed to go.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk! I screamed, into the night.
I gripped the earth with my hands clawing rivets of dirt as I yelled my throat raw. I squeezed and cried and lay there feeling helpless and wallowing in it.
“Are you quite done yet? Are you going to sit there and cry like a little girl or are we going to go save your woman and grandmother?” Dangun asked, his tone deadpan.
I stopped mid wail. I forgot that I wasn’t alone for a moment and had lost it completely. Some of my energy had returned now that my Iron Body had stopped and I sat up slowly and painfully and faced Dangun.
“Yeah, I think so. Thanks.” I said, meaning it.
He let me catch my breath for a minute and then I nodded when I was ok.
“Good, now we don’t have much time. They will expect us by sundown tomorrow or they will kill your women. We have until then to get ready.” Dangun said.
“How do you know that? How will we even find them anyway?” I asked.
“That is the way that She-He is and always has been. Now that I know that it is him I can sense his Ki.” Dangun explained.
“Who is that guy? He’s been alive for a thousand years? What the hell is he doing here in fucking Central Florida?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.
Dangun stared at me for a moment then shook his head and sighed in resignation.
“Let us go inside and prepare to train. I will tell you the tale, it is a long and tragic one.” He said, turning and striding into my burnt and wrecked home.
I pushed myself up with a painful grunt then followed after him as fast as I could, which was not very, hissing in pain and anger the whole way.
TRACK 9 – AND SHE WAS – TALKING HEADS
I was standing in my shower with the water all the way on hot and going full blast. After being tossed through the wall and around the yard all night, along with ass kicking’s during the day and meeting an ancient spirit I was done. Oh, and don’t forget my grandma and girlfriend being kidnapped.
I know I didn’t earn the shower but I really fucking needed it. The day had just been so brutal mentally and physically.
Dangun agreed with me but saw no reason to not keep our dialogue going. So, when I got into the shower and he appeared behind me a second later I screamed like a little girl. We really needed to set some ground rules. Apparently, in his time nudity and being of the same gender along with touching weren’t that big of a deal.
After a bit of high pitched suggesting and much laughter, all of it by Dangun, we had it worked out. He would be outside the shower and would not appear in it when I was inside it anymore. I would listen to him talk outside of my shower while I cleaned up. A win-win all around.
“So, tell me about this She-He guy. Who the hell is he?” I asked, running water through my hair and washing out the shampoo.
“He was my student. One of my followers.” Dangun said, softly then went quiet.
I waited for a minute and put the conditioner in my hair. When I was done, he still hadn’t said anything.
“And?” I asked, prompting him to continue.
“Dammit boy give me a minute I’m remembering. I’ll start when I’m ready. No patience these days with these dumbass kids.” He snapped, then mumbled to himself.
I laughed getting water in my mouth and choking slightly but still laughing. It was totally worth it.
“As I said it was a long time ago in a land far, far, away…” Dangun began.
“Seriously?” I said, interrupting him.
“Oh, I thought you’d appreciate the homage.” Dangun said.
“True, continue please.” I replied.
“As I was saying. A long, long time ago in a land far, far away…”
I focused my attention on his words and the world disappeared around me as he spoke and I became a viewer in his tale. It was like I was watching from above as a disembodied spirit or invisible angel. My consciousness disconnected and I was a spirit viewing from some faraway space.
It was back during the height my empire, the mighty Koryo Dynasty. My empire had reached the pinnacle of power and my personal development was close behind. The Koryo Empire, or Korea as you know it today, was the envy of the known world. Our society was the cultural, scientific, religious, and intellectual center of the everything. It was also the most advanced culture of the time. Our armies were the most well trained and powerful. Our navies controlled the seas with huge warships that intimida
ted the lesser countries and kept the pirates at bay.
Our citizens were safe and happy. Trade was good, life was good, and my plans were proceeding accordingly. I had my harem and quite a few of my concubines were with child ready to bare me an heir.
But of course, there are always those that envy your success. Those that wish and actively plot for your downfall. Me, being at my peak wasn’t afraid of anything, I was invincible. I was naïve and full of hubris. I thought nothing could hurt me, that there was nothing that I couldn’t best.
Then those that you trust betray you. Those that you thought would never betray you, those that you thought were family, those while not blood had been through the fire with you, had been to hell and back, that made them family. But jealousy is a green eyed and hungry monster. It cares not for your past, your history, your feelings.
So it was that my most trusted advisors and lieutenants plotted my downfall but they were not alone. My most trusted confidant, my last love, my last wife, my last everything was the one who led it all. She was the one who made it all happen. Her and my best friend, Wiman, my second in command and partner from childhood. They tricked me, imprisoned me, and locked me into the amulet you now wear.
It is a tale as old as time a friend betrayed by his lover and most trusted confidant. But as with most things we are blind to and think will never happen to us, they hit the hardest. They are also the things we are most vulnerable to.
A LONG, LONG TIME AGO… IN A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY…
“Dangun you must take this seriously. The Chin are no joke. They are coming. They breed like rabbits and are as crafty as foxes.” Wiman joked, bringing up his old argument so he could mobilize our military and continue to war with our neighbors.
Wiman was never satisfied and was always ready for a fight. It was what drove him. That and bedding woman after woman. But there was no better man to have your back in a battle, no better man who would be there when you needed them, no man who… all that was before I met my last wife met. Wiman and her were two peas in a pod and I should have seen it at first. Both were blood hungry and were creatures of their passions.
