“I’m not leaving,” he said.
“Understandable,” I said.
By the look in his eyes, I could tell there would be no arguing with him. For once, I wouldn’t. I needed him with me. I need that security.
I’ll be damned if I let a little bit of nudity keep me from him
.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Itook the best bath of my entire life. I thought the one after the attack in my room was great, but that was nothing compared to this. My body was aching, and Trin consulted with Wisdom, he returned to the castle a few hours ago. He gave her bags of different herbal mixes to put in my bath to help soothe me.
The bath was also the hottest I have ever taken. Not because of the water temperature, but because Axel sat on the floor the entire time staring at me. I was slightly uncomfortable at first, being naked in front of him. We had not yet crossed that line with the chaos that had been going on around us for months.
After a moment with him in here, I relaxed. He wasn’t staring in a way that made me uncomfortable, but his eyes told me everything I needed to know.
He loved me.
He was terrified for me.
He was never letting me out of his sight again.
He couldn’t believe I was here in the flesh and ok.
I wouldn’t tell him that I was far from ok. That wasn’t a conversation that I could have yet. I just needed to be here in the moment, and get my mind off the horror it has frequented over the past weeks.
I had been trapped in a spiraling pit of despair. I was always on the move with my travels, my preparations, and the services for Thanian and Clarissa. Then I had to tour my new Kingdom and meet my new people. I spent a lot of time acting, and then a lot of time in my head.
I just needed a few hours for my brain to catch up to the here and now.
I shut my eyes and relaxed into the tub with a soft sigh. I could feel Axel’s eyes on me, even though I could no longer see him. I was aware of the candles still flickering softly along the stone walls, leaving a trail of soot on the light grey stone.
“Are you ok?” he asked me, breaking my silence.
“I can’t even talk about how I am doing right now. It falters every moment,” I said.
I heard him clear his throat. I think he was uncomfortable with the fact that I couldn’t talk about it yet.
“I can’t talk about it without falling apart, Axel. I’ve spent the past two weeks falling apart. I need some time to pull myself together.”
“Ok, I am here to listen the moment you are ready to talk to me about it,” he said softly.
“Thank you.”
“How is the new kingdom?” he asked, steering us to a safer topic.
“It’s beautiful. It’s much colder there. When you get high up in elevation, it snows. The land seems so pure, and in places, it’s untouched. The people are devastated at the loss of their King and Queen, but they welcomed me with open arms.”
“I wish I could have accompanied you,” Axel said.
“I do too, but you know I needed you here,” I replied quickly.
“I know you did,” he said softly, sensing my agitation.
I settled back down and closed my eyes again. I had quickly slipped back into my head, and I felt a tear drift down my face. I heard a shuffling and then felt Axel’s presence right next to me.
I felt his finger trace across my face and catch my tear. He grabbed my hand out of the water and held it with both of his hands.
“I spoke with Wisdom,” he said.
“He’s doing ok?” I asked.
“Yes, he is ok. He was worried about you. He told me not to let you out of my sight,” he said.
“You let my great grandfather give you orders?” I asked.
“Only if they are orders that I was going to carry out anyways,” he said with intensity.
“What else did he say?” I asked.
“He said you lost your magic.”
The breath suddenly left my lungs, and I nodded at a loss for what else to say.
“We are going to help you get it back. We will find a way,” he assured me.
“Thank you,” I said, still at a loss for any other words.
“Go on, try to manipulate the water or one of the candles. Maybe you just need to keep trying, and it will come back.”
“I’ve already tried. Back on the ship, when the storm was raging, and the waves were beating against the boat, I tried. I couldn’t gather air, and that’s my easiest element. I couldn’t do anything, and that was in a life or death situation. I couldn’t turn the storm away; I couldn’t help our ship gain speed. I was helpless,” I said, sounding defeated.
“You were not helpless,” Axel said. “You were strong, and you did what you needed to, you survived. We need you here, and you made it back to us.”
“I did,” I agreed.
“Yes, you did.”
His hand cupped my cheek, and he smiled at me.
“I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you,” he said.
I could see a tear make its way down his cheek. It stirred up these emotions inside of me that I couldn’t put a lid on.
Where is a cold Morthshadow pond to cool you off when you need one?
He leaned in so that his face was to mine and captured my lips into a passionate kiss, but this one was different from our reunion. This was a slow-burning, passionate kiss that slowly gained in intensity.
His hand was still on my cheek and slowly traveled over my jaw and then down my neck. His finger grazed my color bone, and I felt my butterflies in my stomach kick into overdrive. They were always there waiting in the wings when I was around Axel. Right now, they were fluttering around like confetti at the end of a concert.
His fingers lingered on my collar bone and traveled over my shoulder and slowly traced a path down my arm. When he got to my hand, which was resting on my inner thigh, his trailing stopped.
He grabbed my hand and lifted it out of the water and put it on his chest. I could feel his heart beating beneath my hand. The beating of his heart matched the pace of my butterflies.
After another moment, he broke our kiss and took a long moment to stare into my eyes. The heat of this moment was enough to set me on fire.
“Do you feel that?” he asked me.
I nodded, not sure my voice would work.
“That’s yours, I’m never giving it to anyone else ever, and I know that I could never live my life without you. I know that you told me that we are young and most people our age in your world don’t get married or bond. But Violet, you and I aren’t most people.
You are Queen of two great Kingdoms, and you are wise and strong and so, so brilliant. You aren’t most women, and I am not like most men. I would die for you. Here, now, anywhere, at any time, I would take a sword for you, or drink poison in your place. It kills me over and over again that I can’t stop bad things from happening to you, as much as I try. I don’t want to wait for more bad things to happen and for you to be taken away from me.
I want to bond with you. I want to be yours forever. I want to be everything you need me to be. I eventually want to be a father to your heirs. I want to grow old with you, and help you fulfill your destiny in any way you need me. I don’t need an answer now, but I just want to put all the cards on the table. I want you to give it some thought, and when you are ready, tell me what you think.”
I had started crying right after he told me my heart was his. It was from absolute love and hope and heartbreak at the same time. I felt his loss for me, every time he thought he lost me. I felt his love and the truth in his words. He just confessed his undying love for me, and he wants to be mine, forever.
I used my hand that was still on his chest to grab his shirt and pull his lips to mine. I used my lips to show him what my heart wanted, but I couldn’t find the voice for.
I love this man with my soul. When I was scared and hiding, I just wanted to be in his arms. I knew he would always make it h
is goal in life to see me happy and safe, and I loved him for it a hundred times over. I felt like my heart was going to burst from my chest, but it was amazing.
My lips were becoming raw from the force and urgency of my kiss, and soon we were breathless. I couldn’t be close enough to him; I was on my knees in the tub leaning over the edge. Axel was on his knees on the other side with his arms wrapped around my back. His hands rested just above my butt.
I was the one to break our kiss. I looked up into his eyes and found the words I couldn’t minutes ago.
“Axel, I love you like the moon loves the stars, and the sun loves the clouds. I need you like plants need water and sunshine. I need you like the birds need to sing. I want to be your wife, your forever partner, and mother to your future babies someday. I want to rule these kingdoms with you hand in hand. We will do that, but I need some time, even if it’s only a few weeks. I just don’t want it to be rushed because of everything going on around us. I want to do this right because there is no one else for me, Axel.”
Axel’s face lit up, and I thought his heart might explode underneath my hand. It kicked into overdrive, and so did my butterflies.
He picked me up out of the water, grabbing me under my butt. His mouth went to my neck. I wanted him so bad, and I was desperate to be as close to him as possible. He dropped me on my bed, and then he climbed on top of me. His lips were on my neck again, and then my collarbone.
Then there was a knock at the door.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Axel was pulled away by Wisdom. They had things to do acting on my behalf. Before leaving me in a melted heap, Axel told me he was ramping up our Army’s size. We were recruiting more knights and increasing the pay.
I was glad that I had the oversight to triple our stash in gold and precious gems weeks ago. I had a feeling we would need to increase our spending, but I had no idea I would lose my magic.
We had enough currency to massively ramp up the war effort and increase the pay of our knights. They were sacrificing for their Kingdom, and it would ensure their loyalty. Better taking care of their families would ensure they remained faithful to me.
But I need to strategize, and I need to get my magic back. I need to figure out both and quickly. I wish I could talk to Victoria. I really could use her guidance on what to do. So I would have to do the next best thing. I would comb over every last inch of her diaries. She left the secret map of the castle on a page.
Who knew what else she hid for me?
Did she know it would be her great-granddaughter who would follow her in the line of the prophecy? Did she know how much I would need her help?
I had finished one diary already and moved to the next one in the stack. I quickly found out this was no longer a diary, but a log of essential facts and discoveries. Victoria was no longer giving her account of things but sticking to histories and findings.
She experimented in all sorts of sciences, training, and mapped many areas. I walked to my office to fetch my notebook and brought several of Victoria’s journals.
Before settling in, I went down to the kitchens to get myself a pitcher of tea. Along my way, I got pitiful smiles from my staff. They likely heard about everything I had been through.
The head chef offered to make me something sweet as she brewed my tea. There was also an assortment of bread and cheeses I gorged on, as I hadn’t eaten since my return. The chef said she would send the sweets up to my room, as I was leaving. I asked her to make it, and bring it directly to my room herself. She nodded in understanding and stated she would.
I brought my tea back up to my office and used Clarissa’s teacup. It reminded me of her, and the strength I would need to get to the other side of this chaos.
I settled in and began reviewing Victoria’s notes, and copied down things of interest and which page and journal I found them in.
I was looking for any history on Tate or its royal family. I searched for anything on poisons, magic, my family tree, and the castle. There had to be something of use to help me in my current position.
I must have been reading for hours and filled up two whole pages of notes before coming across an empty page with a star on it in the bottom right corner.
Was this another page with a hidden message? Maybe the star had to do with the prophecy? After all, Victoria and I both have birthmarks shaped like a star.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with the page, but I knew better. I fetched water from my bathroom. I sprinkled a little water on the pages and watched as the pages transformed in front of my eyes.
I saw a list of all kinds of concoctions, and I felt hope bloom within me.
A potion for cleansing one’s body,
A potion to read one’s mind,
A potion to evoke one’s magic,
The pages were covered in her delicate script and drawings of different plants making up the potions.
I copied them down as best as I could to later give to Wisdom. Did he know about these, or did Victoria keep most of her cards close to her chest?
Would I be able to get my magic back? I had only been without it for two weeks, but it had been a long two weeks. I didn’t realize how vulnerable relying on my magic made me until it was gone.
I was so excited and in my own thoughts that I almost missed the words hastily scrawled across the bottom.
Violet, keep your sight open. The Tate men are vulnerable to their whims.
I was in shock. I was sure that it was Victoria’s handwriting. Wisdom said that no one knew of the person who would follow behind them in the prophecy.
How did Victoria know of me? I was born in another world after she was gone.
Maybe she was like me, and she had the sight? Perhaps she could catch glimpses of the future? Perhaps she had seen me lose my magic and knew I would need to find it again?
I was so grateful for this woman who had the foresight to put these journals together, as they had already helped me so much.
I should do the same for the person who follows me in the prophecy.
I grabbed my notes and dashed to the library. If anyone knew how to help me brew these potions, it would be Wisdom and my Great Aunt Beetie.
☼
“Absolutely not,” Wisdom said after taking one look at the ingredients to the potions.
“And why not?” I asked defiantly.
“Do you know what these ingredients are?” he asked me.
I shook my head.
“No, I don’t, but Victoria wrote this, it has to be true,” I said.
“Are you sure my mother wrote this?” Aunt Beetie asked me.
“As sure as can be,” I stated.
I quickly ran back to my office and grabbed the original and brought it back to them.
“See, this is her journal, and this is her handwriting,” I said.
“See, it’s even the same script and ink as the rest, with the same fading.”
“I’ve read this journal, and I haven’t seen this before,” Aunt Beetie said in wonder.
“That’s because you weren’t supposed to find it,” I told her.
I pointed to the star at the bottom of the page.
“That matches my birthmark, the same one that she had. It was her message to me. This appeared as a blank page, except for the star at the bottom. And if you need any more creepy proof, look at her message at the bottom of the page. It mentions me specifically, by name.”
Wisdom and Beetie’s eyes glanced across the bottom of the page, and Beetie let out a gasp.
“How?” she asked, and her eyes turned to me in wonder.
“I think she had the sight,” I answered.
“But how?” she asked me again.
“I don’t know; maybe it’s not as rare as originally thought? Or maybe it’s because we are reincarnations of the Goddess. If the Goddess knows everything, wouldn’t it make sense that her reincarnation would be able to catch glimpses of the future?” I asked.
Wisdom just continued to stare at th
e pages. He was in shoc; I could see it. But I could also see the gears turning in that brilliant brain of his. He was no longer trying to make sense of it, but determine what we could do with this knowledge.
He was in love with Victoria and knew her way more than I ever could from her books. He must have known she was full of surprises. After all, while training in his cabin in Morthshadow, he told me she used to keep her cards close to her chest. This was just a royal flush.
“You trusted Victoria with everything you had, right?” I asked Wisdom.
“I still do, even in death,” he responded, a little misty-eyed.
“You know she would not leave me these if she thought it would kill me. She must have seen this very moment, must have seen what I would lose, and did what she could to help me, even knowing she would be long gone by now. It’s absolutely incredible, and you know it. So let’s honor her by trusting her,” I told him.
He looked up to me again and was a little taken aback.
I couldn’t blame him. The words just slipped out of me before I could even think them. I think this was another divine intervention from the Goddess again.
Maybe she had excellent persuasive skills, and those became mine?
“You know you will have to convince Axel, right? Not only that, but I also need time to scavenge these ingredients. Their sources are spread all over the kingdom. Nightshade is incredibly rare. I’ll have to make a special trip just to Morthshadow for that,” he told me.
“Don’t worry about Axel. I’ll take care of him. But I need one more thing… I need you to get enough ingredients to make a second potion to restore powers. I have a theory from my reading in Victoria’s journals, and I want to test it.”
“You want to test a theory with incredibly rare and expensive, not to mention dangerous ingredients?” he asked me.
“Wisdom, think long and hard. Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me? Like you told me in Morthshadow, I have the ability of the seer. I have intuition better than most. I understand Victoria’s words like others can’t. I have a hunch, and Victoria has almost told me as much outright through her writings. Trust me, and trust your love, the mother of your child.”
Emerald Mountains (The Dream Traveler Series Book 2) Page 16
