“Discloser?”
“Yes, we all sign it at the ceremony. It has to be that way to keep the animosity down. It works, Cass. I should have never done that with Alana right there in the open. I’m sorry you saw that. I’ll be more careful next time.”
“Next time?”
“Damnit. I hate that this happened. It’s not the norm, Cass. I never do that. She was a little tipsy. I didn’t want to tell her no.”
“You didn’t get off,” I accused again. “I want to know why. And why didn’t Alana catch it? I was clear across the room and caught it. Did you already do one of the other ones and couldn’t perform to the best of your ability?”
Laughing at me, Becker took both my hands in his lap. “To the best of my ability?” he repeated my question.
“Yeah. Did you already do Britney or Christina before Alana got to you? Is that why you didn’t get off?”
“I got off in you before we came here, remember? And I got off with Alana. Why do you keep saying that?”
“You didn’t. I can tell when you’re coming. You didn’t even make that grunting noise you make every time.”
“Grunting noise?”
“Stop repeating me. Stop trying to lie out of it. You know you didn’t get off. I want to know why.”
Becker took a deep breath and lay beside me. Crossing his ankles, he sighed. “I don’t know. I guess I just wasn’t into it. And I’m only telling you that because you haven’t signed a disclosure yet. You can’t talk about this with the girls.”
“I didn’t think you kept secrets from them,” I said, yawning and laying back with him. He stayed on top the covers and I stayed below them.
“They’re not secrets. Some things, personal things I share with each of them, are better left between us.”
“But why didn’t you finish with Alana? I don’t get it.”
“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”
“I’m baffled. I’d be hurt. I’d think I didn’t turn you on. I would feel rejected.”
“She doesn’t feel rejected. She thinks I was as satisfied as her.”
“Why are you wearing a condom with her? Isn’t she on the pill?”
“She is. They all are. And I always wear condoms with them. You can’t talk about that with them. You can’t tell them I don’t wear one with you.”
“Why don’t you? I’m so confused,” I admitted dramatically, throwing my hand over my eyes. Becker moved it and kissed my lips.
“I don’t know why. I wasn’t planning on touching you that first night and we didn’t have one.”
“Is that why you didn’t come? Because of the rubber barrier?”
“No, Cass. I come just fine with condoms. It’s not a problem. Maybe I just had too much to drink. I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“No. I guess not,” I sighed, emancipating a long, deep breath. What the hell did I get myself into? “You need to explain how this sex thing works. Do you have like set nights, take them to your room, their room, how many times a week? Do you take turns?”
“I try to spend at least one night a week with each of them. It doesn’t always work that way, like tonight. One of them will come to me, needing taken care of, and I do my best to oblige.”
“That sounds like a lot of work to me.”
“It is, sometimes, but I enjoy it. I like making them feel good as much as I like making you feel good. Can I get under the covers? I’m cold.”
“I thought you didn’t spend the night in their rooms.”
“I’m in your room, and I’ll leave before they’re up,” he assured me, sliding under my covers. I couldn’t help it. I went right to him. Right to his strong, protecting arms. The ones that were going to hurt. I was such an idiot.
I don’t think having sex was on his mind at all. It wasn’t mine. He just had his dick in Alana. That was the furthest thing from my mind. Right up until his hand landed on my lower stomach, and then the skin below my shirt. My eyes instantly closed, trying to shut out the thought. The thought that had just traveled from my brain to my vagina the instant he touched me wasn’t being pushed away by closed eyes. No matter how much I squeezed them.
Oh lord. What the hell was wrong with me? I was crazy. I was going crazy. I couldn’t breathe. Becker had sucked all the air from the room when his fingers tickled my skin, tracing the elastic of my panties. He was drugging me. That had to be it. He was probably some sort of mad scientist, hypnotizing me with his hands, or maybe it was his smell. Oh, dear, St. Mary. Breathe, Cass.
Becker was feeling it, too. He slid his hand over the silk of my panties, well, Christina’s panties. She let me borrow them. That made me wonder if he’d ever touched them before. With her. Oh stop it. Just find air. Must find oxygen.
“I’m sorry, Cass. I can’t help it. I’ll stop if this isn’t okay. I’m not used to this. You make me want different things,” he rasped in a low tone, rising to one elbow.
I went from being confused to being like, WHAT THE FUCK?!
What does that mean? That’s what the logical part of my brain was asking. The nonsensical part was causing my hips to thrust into his hands. I make him want different things? What the hell did that mean? Oh, yeah. Right there. That feels good. Hmmm.
Becker made slow, passionate love to me, kissing me, staring longingly into my eyes and moving his hardness in and out, leisurely taking his time. He did pick up speed when my eyes closed and I moaned.
“Open your eyes,” he ordered, raising one of my legs.
That hit the spot. Becker came to his knees, holding my leg over his shoulder and pounded hard. In and out. The size of his shaft, hitting the perfect spot, the way he held himself at the base, and the way his other hand hugged my leg, pulling me as close to him as possible was enough. I was grasping fistfuls of sheet and screaming in pure pleasure. Becker thrust hard and moaned with me. Feeling the three warm squirts collide with my own piece of pleasure, Becker dropped his weight to my lifeless body. He got off. I was sure of it.
My fingers ran up his strong back and to the back of his hair. He kissed my neck, panting in my hair. “I love you, Cassie.”
Fuuuuuck…
I didn’t reply. I wasn’t saying it. No way. Uh-uh. I didn’t love him. He was in love with too many other girls.
I’m not sure when I finally fell asleep. I had too many questions going through my mind. Becker fell asleep pretty quickly. I lay in his arms and listened to the comforting growl of his relaxed sleep. I was so confused. He didn’t sleep in the girls’ rooms. He told me so himself. I had to stop this. All of this.
Britney woke us both, beating on my door.
“Hey, sleepy head. I’m going to make breakfast. Coffee will be ready in ten. You up?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there in few,” I answered, watching Becker scramble for his clothes.
“Sorry, I meant to be out of here before anyone woke. I’ll see you at breakfast,” he said with a quick kiss. I didn’t respond. My lips stayed in a pressed thin line, watching him sneak out the sliding door.
Becker was different at breakfast. I don’t know how. He just was. He wasn’t laughing and joking with the girls like he normally did. He kissed me on the lips, saying good morning, and Britney on the cheek. Maybe it was just me. I was trying to read more into it than it was. He loved them. He told me he did. He wasn’t giving me any more than he was giving them, and I was only fooling myself if I thought any differently. He’d probably sneaked in and out of every one of their rooms. Why wouldn’t he? He was doing Alana right there on the sofa.
“Oh my god. How much did we drink?” Christina whined, bending to kiss Becker on the cheek from behind. He placed his hand on hers when she kept it on his shoulder, resting it there while she complained about a headache.
“You drank more than the rest of us. Sorry, dear, you did,” Becker smiled up at her. She groaned and took the seat beside me.
My eyes shifted when Alana entered. I couldn’t look at her. The only thing I could see was
her riding Becker. Britney took care of all of us, hot coffee, fresh bagels and orange juice. I quietly observed the conversation around the table. They were all like husband and wives, talking about their days, the evening at Mason’s. Shit. I forgot about Mason’s. I was going to ditch Britney as soon as we were finished delivering cupcakes. I had to get out of that before Justine caught wind of it. She’d insist that we go.
I watched Becker interacting with all three of his wives. Britney and Alana sat across from each other with him on the end. Britney laughed about him doing a split in his socked feet right after the marble floors had been waxed a couple days before.
“Oh, you think that was just hilarious, don’t you?” he teased, opening his hand for her. She placed hers inside of his and he lovingly squeezed it with a smile. He loved her. Sigh. Why did he have to love her? Why did he have to love any of them? I didn’t want him to love them.
He did the same thing a little later with Alana. That one hurt a little. Probably because I’d just witnessed the two of them getting it on.
“I’d love to sit around and chat with you ladies all day, but I’ve got work to do. I’ll drive tonight. Cass, should I pick you up at your house?” Becker asked, excusing himself from the table.
“I’ll call you,” I said with a nod. I watched him watch me while he went around the table, kissing his girls on the cheek from behind, except me. I had to turn my head to keep him from kissing my lips. What the hell? Alana was the only one who I thought might have noticed. Our eyes did that uncomfortable eye locking thing. I glanced away quickly.
“Come on, Cassie. I’ll find you something to wear,” Alana said, sliding from the table.
“Oh, I can go home and get ready,” I tried getting out of it.
“Nonsense, I have the perfect outfit. It’ll look so cute on you,” she pleaded. I wasn’t getting out of it.
Say no, Cass. “Okay.”
I followed Alana, feeling a little tension. I hadn’t felt that before around them. I felt like I was stepping on her toes. In a sense, I guess I was. I was just a little surprised by it. She was fine with it as long as it was Christina or Britney, but jealousy crept in when it came to me. As soon as she closed her bedroom door and looked at me like that, I knew my reservations were correct.
Alana sifted through her massive closet. She never once turned to look at me while putting me in my place.
“You know, Cassie. The new wears off,” she mumbled with her back to me.
I sat on the edge of her bed. “Excuse me?”
“Do you like this?”
“No, not so much,” I said, looking at the too-fancy-for-me outfit. We were going to do charity work at a hospital. “What do you mean by that?”
“He was fascinated with all of us at first.”
“I would say he still is. I see the way he treats you and the way he looks at all of you. He loves you.”
Alana smiled and turned back to her mission. “Yes, that he does. That’s why I’m with him. Becker’s a good man. They don’t make them like him anymore.”
“Alana?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you worried about the time he’s not going to have with you, because of me?”
“Oh, good heavens, no, Cassie. I’m worried about you. We’re all busy. This works for us. It’s a lot less complicated than the normal marriage. Becker encourages us to do things, get outside our comfort zone. I jumped out of a freaking plane with him. That’s crazy.”
I smiled a weak smile. This was so complex. “I try to stay away from him, Alana. I really do. I just, it always, I’m—” I stuttered, trying to think of words that made sense.
“You love the way he makes you feel. I get it. Wait until he makes love to you. He’s very attentive. It’s all about you.”
I listened without responding. We weren’t supposed to talk about that.
“But don’t worry. Becker won’t touch you until an official ceremony. If you’re not planning on sticking around, it doesn’t really matter.”
“What do you mean?”
“How about this?”
“Yes. I like that,” I decided, taking the designer jeans and plaid green shirt from her. Much better.
“Becker doesn’t really practice the religion he was raised in, but he does have certain moral standards that he goes by. I was here for three months before he ever touched me. I was ready to marry him after the first week just to get laid. It was horrible.”
Hmmm. This changed things. Becker never had sex with them until he took them as his wife. Why? Better question, why me?
Chapter 21
I felt like such a loser. Like a broken bird unable to fly with the rest of the flock. The other three fit right in, laughing and playing around with sick children while I watched, feeling ill. I needed out of there. I suddenly felt faint and I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t the kids, although some of them looked like death was waiting at the door to take them away. It was just the hospital.
“You okay?” Britney asked, handing me a cupcake. I looked at the sweet frosting and dashed out and down the hall, holding my mouth. I mumbled something incoherent to a nurse and she pointed to the nearest ladies room where I got sick.
I was already texting Justine to come and save me before Alana showed up to see if I was okay.
I wanted to not like her. Damnit. I didn’t want to like any of them. Why did she have to be so nice to me? I took the cool paper towels from her and dabbed my face.
“Thank you,” I said from behind the damp towel.
“I can take you home if you want.”
“That’s okay. I just texted Justine. She’s on her way. I’m sorry, it’s just, I’m a little, I don’t really—”
“I get it. You hate hospitals. I hate them, too. My older brother died when he was thirteen. I spent my entire childhood in a hospital waiting for him to get better,” Alana explained, looking at the clean white floor.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, Alana.”
“It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”
“My grandma died here. She had cancer, too,” I explained, assuming her brother had passed from the same horrific disease.
“Your mother wasn’t here?”
“No, she was at Central. I don’t go there, either.” I smiled.
“Let’s get out of here. I’ll wait outside with you.”
“Thanks.” I smiled. Alana was the one of the three that I wasn’t going to like. She wasn’t going to like me, either. I could tell, but now I liked her the most. Even if I did watch her doing what I wanted me and only me to do with Becker.
I sat on a hard bench, kicking a stone while I listened to Alana talk about her brother Adam. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, or I was coldhearted. I just didn’t do well with this kind of drama. I didn’t handle death well myself, I had no words of wisdom for her. So, I listened, moving the pebble back and forth with the toe of my shoe, or Alana’s shoe.
I had to stop this nonsense. Getting lost in my own thoughts, I tuned out the chatter of Alana, talking about Adam being the Call of Duty king around that very hospital. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I was just trying to make sense of all this craziness. I had to step away and stay away.
“Hey,” I heard the familiar voice.
Shit.
“Hi,” I said, standing and fighting with everything in me not to be a social disaster. “Oh, this is my friend, Alana.” I nodded at her.
Alana stood and took his hand.
“Pleasure.” She smiled up at Matt. That was the first I’d noticed the silver band. Did they all wear a ring?
“What are you doing here, Small Fry?”
“Just helping out with a little girl’s birthday party. Justine is on her way to get me now. I’ll see you Monday.”
“We need to talk.”
“No we don’t,” I cautioned, gaining that smile that said he was making fun of me again.
“Yes we do. Do you mind?” Matt asked Alana
“Not at all. I’m goin
g to see you tonight, right?” Alana asked with a stern look and a straight finger.
“I’ll call you.”
“That sounds like a no. Come on. It’ll be fun. Becker’s making fry pies over the fire. They’re amazing.”
FUCK!
“I’ll text you,” I said with a grimace, wanting her to shut her fry pie hole and get the hell out of there.
“Yup, just what I thought,” Matt accused instantly.
“You’re not the boss of me,” I immaturely reminded him.
“Is that who came and got you out of jail?”
“Huh?” What did he know about anything? How the hell…
“Don’t worry. The charges are dropped. That’s a milestone, you know,” he said, sitting on a stone wall, and pulling me with him. Where the hell was Justine?
“Huh,” I repeated again. That’s the only thing that came out.
“Your first time being arrested. We normally have a big party when that happens. Becker Cole come get you out?”
“I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“I told you to stay away from him. Alana’s one of the wives, isn’t she?”
“I still don’t have to tell you anything.”
“Stay away from him, Cassie. This is the last time I’m going to say it, before I go to the snake and tell him myself.”
“What the fuck, Matt? What makes you think you can tell me what to do? You’re not my boss. You’re nothing to me. You work for my dad, that’s it. Stay out of my life.”
Matt stood as Justine pulled right to the curb. “I’m warning you.” He nodded and walked away.
“Hey,” I called after him. He turned but didn’t reply, still wearing the unsatisfied frown.
“What are you doing here?”
“None of your business.”
I stared after Matt, perplexed, watching his long legs carry him through the automatic glass door. What the hell. Why was my life his business?
“Hey, go park. Let’s follow Matt.”
“You mean like private investigating stuff?” Justine asked excitedly.
Picked Page 18
