Christina and Britney both moved out the following weekend. I knew they would be okay. Christina was moving to New York City where she had been offered an internship with a prestigious fashion designer. Britney was going to be her new roommate, and Becker was setting her up with Brits Café and Catering. I was happy that they were sticking together and wouldn’t be alone. They were both beautiful and I knew they would find love, true love.
Alana even called, congratulating me on the baby, giving me her blessing. She was dating an artist and was planning a trip with him, exploring covered bridges. I listened attentively as she told me all about him, and their plans to set up easels and paint country landscapes across the east coast. I was happy that she didn’t hate me and even happier that she was okay.
Even though I told Becker that I wasn’t ready to decide how I felt about him and me yet, I still let him fall into my bed every time he showed up after I told him not to. I needed my space. I needed to figure out what I wanted. Becker seemed to be the only option. I couldn’t control myself around him to save my ass. It didn’t change the fact that I still felt second, like he had to have help before choosing me. I never said anything, I just kept going day by day, hoping it was all for the right reasons. Becker made it easy to not think about. He made it his number one goal to make me happy. I still wondered.
It took almost my entire first trimester for me to finally tell my dad. I was starting to show, and I knew I wasn’t going to hide it much longer. He, of course, didn’t understand and he wanted to kill Becker. My dad and I never talked about my mother, Matt, or Jacob again. We didn’t really talk at all. I was the one that made the effort and called him once a week to say hi. That was about the extent of it. We really didn’t have much to talk about.
Matt, on the other hand, was like a clingy boyfriend. We talked every day, and I was even a little mad at him for filling my shoes with Becker. The two of them spent countless hours at my kitchen table, investigating the club in Texas and the slime ball Goldman here in Philly. Jacob taught me how to play Alien Isolation on his X-box. He hated it when I won as much as he loved it, and I loved him. I loved having a younger brother. I hated Matt taking all Becker’s time.
It took months to bring down not only Goldman and the so-called club in Texas, but also Becker’s father. He was arrested the same day as Goldman along with five other men involved. Becker and Matt high-fived each other, sitting on my sofa and watching the news unfold. Eight months of careful planning and nagging from me paid off.
One last trip to Utah to make sure his siblings were all okay and settled down, and Becker was finally free of the tangled life he’d grown up in. Matt was free of the lies and secrecy, and Jacob was free of being in the middle. I was happy, extremely happy. I still hadn’t agreed to move to the estate with him, and I wasn’t sure I ever would. I liked the close proximity of my house. The unisex nursery was the perfect size right beside my room, and I liked being close to Becker in my own home. Yeah, we’d probably outgrow my small two bedroom house pretty quick, but for the time being, it was perfect.
Becker never left me during the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I guess I didn’t really try too hard to make him. I liked him being with me, in my bed, falling asleep with his hand on my humongous, revolting stomach. He didn’t think it was gross, he loved it. I loved that he loved it. Kissing his baby good morning, goodnight, and good anything else he could think of became a daily routine for him.
We saw Mason and his wives a couple times a month, and Becker’s mother even more. Helen was hard to get to know. She was very shy and backward the first few times I was around her, but she couldn’t contain the excitement of this baby had her life depended on it. Between the baby and my silliness, she gradually warmed up to me. She even taught me how to make some very easy casseroles, ones that were virtually impossible to screw up, even for me.
The birth of this baby couldn’t come soon enough. I was over it. My ankles were constantly swollen, I couldn’t see my feet, I wasn’t sleeping, and nine months seemed like three years. I couldn’t do it for one more day. The baby thought otherwise. Our last baby’s doctor appointment pissed me off. I was sure he was going to tell me it would be the day.
“Your cervix is thinning, but you’re not dilated yet. This could change over the next couple days. The baby is head down and ready to go. We’ll check you again next week. Any questions?”
I shook my head in a pout. That wasn’t the news I wanted to hear. I was sure he was going to tell me I would go any second now, not “I’ll check you again next week.” Screw him. What did he know, anyway?
“Call Matt,” Becker said, taking my hand in the car.
“No. What for?”
“Because he told you to call him after your visit.”
“You call him. You’re his best friend now,” I glowered, crossing my arms.
“You’re such a baby,” he teased. “It will come when it’s ready. You can’t rush perfection. I still like Eli better than Emmerson for a boy though. I love Noel for a girl, but I think we should discuss the boy names again.”
I knew he was trying to get my mind off how miserable I was, and I knew I was being a pouty baby, but I was really, really hoping to hear better news.
“Call Matt.” He smiled.
I did. I called him and told him nothing, absolutely nothing.
Becker helped me forget all my baby troubles that night when we made supper together, flirting and kissing while we cut up carrots and celery for homemade beef stew.
“I know how we can jumpstart this labor,” he teased, sliding my ugly stretch pants down my hips. Protesting wasn’t an option, not after he spun me to the table and ran his fingers between my legs. Pregnant or not, I still had needs. Becker brought me to bliss from behind with his fingers first and then took me a little rougher than he had in a while. I’m sure he was frustrated with all this, too. I knew I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around. I didn’t mind him taking his frustrations out on me at all. I rather enjoyed it. My three orgasms enjoyed it.
Our beef stew was delicious, then again, it was made with lots of love. We ate in front of the television and then I fell asleep on the end of the sofa while Becker messed around with some new game he was designing. After selling Picked for a massive amount of money, he needed to move on to something else. I think it became more of a challenge for him than anything. There was no doubt in my mind this new idea he had would be a hit. He even gave me permission to investigate all I wanted in the new detective game. Jacob was a tremendous help in the action part of the game. If it wasn’t one McClelland taking all his time, it was another one. I loved it.
“Come on, sweetie. Let’s go to bed,” Becker called, shaking me lightly. I moaned and tried to roll over, realizing I was on the couch and the back wouldn’t let me roll that way. Becker took my hand and I sat up, or tried anyway. That was the first of several sharp pains. Holding my lower stomach, I sat up, grimacing in pain.
“You okay?” Becker asked, sitting beside me.
“Yeah, just Braxton Hicks contractions,” I said, holding my lower stomach while Becker helped pull me to my feet. This sucked. Being nine months pregnant was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I wanted to cut Becker’s baby making nuts off with a dull butter knife.
“I’ve been thinking,” Becker began, snuggling against my backside, spooning me from behind with his hand on our baby.
“That’s worse than me thinking.”
“No it’s not.”
“Shut up. What were you thinking?”
“I think we should look as some Victorian houses in town since you don’t want to move to the country. This house is too small, Cass. There is no reason we have to be this close together.”
Struggling, I rolled to my back. Becker kissed my lips mid-sentence. “You’re practically laying on top of me. You love being close to me. You always say that.”
“Not twenty-four hours a day.”
“Well, I never said I d
idn’t want to live in the country. I didn’t know you were just going to move in here. You sort of just never left. I said I didn’t want to move there with a bunch of other women. Ouch,” I wined, feeling another sharp pain. It felt like a knife being stabbed into my left ovary.
“That’s the second time you’ve had pain. Maybe we should call Dr. Switzer. You would move out to the estate?” Becker asked, massaging my stomach.
“I don’t know. I kind of like the closeness here. That place is so big.”
“But we can play naked, glow in the dark put-put.”
“You’re not touching me with that thing anymore. I’m never doing this again.”
“You’re not having any more of my babies?”
“No way. One and done. This sucks.”
“I was hoping we would be like that Duggar family—what are they up to, like nineteen now?”
“You’re crazy.”
“Well, you won’t let me have nineteen wives, at least you could give me nineteen kids.”
“I’ll give you something.”
“I’m kidding, but I’m sure once you hold this little guy, you’ll change your mind.”
“I doubt it. Beck?”
“Hmm?”
“You really think you can be happy with just one wife?”
“That depends.”
“It does?” I asked with a worried tone.
“Yeah, it depends on if that one wife is going to be you. I never knew a love could be so real until I met you. I mean, I did love the girls. It was just a different kind of love. Like I wanted the best for them. I wanted them to spread their wings and fly, make something of themselves, be somebody. The only thing I want you to be is mine. I’m okay with you not spreading your wings. I would rather you didn’t spread your wings, just your legs,” he teased.
I punched him in the chest, but loved what he said. I felt a warm sensation fill my entire body, knowing he felt that way about me. Wait. That wasn’t a warm sensation. That was a warm wet spot.
Becker and I both looked at each other, wide-eyed. “Did you pee?” I asked.
“Uh-uh. Did you?”
“I think my water broke.”
Becker jumped up from the bed, acting like we were going to have the baby right there, right that second. He had his clothes on before I could even get out of bed. Helping me up, he slid my shirt over my head. I sat back down, doubled over in pain. Whoa. Where the hell did that come from?
“I can’t, Beck. It hurts too much.”
Becker ran to the bathroom, grabbed a towel and cleaned me up as best he could. I could see the clear liquid between my legs, but it was also mixed with a watery, bloody mucus, too. Was that normal? Ahhhh. Nope, that wasn’t normal. We shouldn’t have had sex. I was going to kill Becker Cole.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get you to the hospital,” Becker said, slipping a nightshirt over my head. He wasn’t even going to try the pink sweat outfit I had laid out for this trip. Trying to stand again, I once again doubled over in pain.
“I can’t, Becker. Something’s wrong,” I cried. Never in my life had I felt this much pain. Something wasn’t right. A mother knew these things. I think.
“What do you want me to do, Cass? We have to get to the hospital.”
“Becker?” I questioned with wide eyes.
“Oh god, don’t do this, Cass. What?”
“I feel something.”
“What do you mean you feel something?”
“Down there. Something’s coming out,” I grimaced, holding my breath. The strongest urge to push was unbearable. Like I had to do it. Becker moved my knees apart, dialing the three emergency numbers with a white face.
“Oh god, I hate you. I hate you so much right now, Cass.”
“You’re the one that stuck it in like a mad man earlier. AHHHH!” I screamed. Yup, this baby was coming. NOW.
“Yes, we’re having a baby. I need a squad. Right now,” Becker yelled into his phone.
“Yes. I can see the head. What’s the address here, Cass?”
“517 N. Cliff St,” I wailed. Oh, my.
“Don’t push, Cass!” Becker yelled, seeing what I was feeling. I was sure the 9-1-1 operator was instructing him on what to say. Placing the phone on speaker, Becker dropped it to the floor.
“Okay, what’s the mother’s name?” the operator asked.
“Cassie,” Becker answered for me. I couldn’t talk. It hurt too much to do anything.
“You’re okay, Cassie. Help is on the way. I need you to stay calm and listen to me, okay?”
I answered with a moan. That’s the best I could do. Stay calm? Really? I was about to give birth in my bedroom. How the hell was I supposed to stay calm? What if something went wrong? What if the cord was wrapped or the baby had shoulder dystocia? I read about that in one of my baby books.
“Have her lay down with her knees pulled to her chest,” she instructed.
I couldn’t do that, either. I couldn’t move. Becker had to literally walk around to the other side of the bed and pull me. I yelled in pain.
“Okay, we’re there,” Becker explained. “Now what?”
“The next time you feel a contraction, I need for you to push gently. Okay?”
“Okay,” Becker answered for me.
I didn’t know if I was doing what the operator said or not. I guess I was just doing what felt natural. I pushed. It took exactly nine minutes from the time Becker dialed 9-1-1. I looked at the blinking numbers when he picked up his phone after placing our baby girl on my stomach. That’s when we heard the beating on the door. Becker kissed me and then our baby’s yucky coated head before darting off to let the paramedics in.
Becker disappeared when the three officials came in to take care of us. I was sure he was outside, getting needed air, and calming himself down. Wow. That was the craziest thing I’ve ever done, and I sure as hell didn’t want to do it again.
The next morning, feeding my baby girl was when I knew it was for the right reasons. The bouquet of pink carnations for Noel mixed with the dozen red roses was outrageous. Pulling the card from the envelope, I read the little note.
I Love You!!!
I chose you the moment I saw you. No other girl has ever held a candle to you. Except maybe Noel.
Epilogue
Noel Clarissa Cole was born a healthy, seven pounds three ounces. She was born loved. I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I loved her. She was my pride and joy, and her daddy already had the string around his pinky finger. All she had to do was squeak a little and he was picking her up.
My dad didn’t come see her in the hospital, but he did come out to the house a couple weeks after she was born. He didn’t stay long, but at least he made the attempt. I was sure Matt would be more of a grandpa than he ever would. It was fine. I knew how my dad was. He’d become a recluse when I was a small child. I couldn’t change that, and I was sure Noel wouldn’t either.
Matt and Jacob, on the other hand, was there all the time. Yes, I moved out to the country. I guess it made the most sense. Becker needed to be able to work. He needed his office and all his electronic equipment. I didn’t mind at all. Noel slept right beside us in her little bassinet, anyway. Becker wasn’t about to let her sleep in her own room. I wasn’t sure he would ever let her do that.
Never in a million years would I have guessed that Matt and Becker would become friends. And Jacob. Becker was so good with him. He even redesigned the miniature golf course to make it wheelchair friendly. Jacob was good at everything he tried. He had natural born talent, even when it came to soothing a baby. He cuddled her better than Becker or Matt and he loved her.
I had more photos from my new camera of my family than any one person should process. Becker even bought me a couple of those frames where I could display them all as a slideshow. Noel’s photos were on one, updated daily, and the rest of my family were on the other one. I did find something I was good at. I was a damn good photographer and an even better mommy. Maybe
I could have a couple more, not nineteen, but I wouldn’t mind having three little Becker’s running around.
Alana and Christina both came to see the baby. Alana was with her fiancé. That made me very happy. He looked at her the way Becker looked at me. Britney made it a point to stop by often. She was in love with Noel and came to visit every chance she got. She, too, had a new love interest, but I hadn’t met him. Christina was the one that surprised me most. She had met someone, too, only her someone was of the same sex. She was afraid to tell me, knowing how Becker’s background would feel about that. I promised not to tell him, but assured her that he wouldn’t judge. He didn’t. I may have accidently told him, anyway. Accidently on purpose.
The real hero of this story is Matt. Matt left the firm and ventured out on his own crusade. Becker, of course, helped. So far to date, Matt has rescued fifty-four girls from abusive polygamy homes. After purchasing an old hotel and converting it as a halfway house for young girls to pursue their own lives away from the cults they were brought up in, Matt made it his life to help them. He’s the hero.
A couple of them even came here to the estate, and stayed in the rooms where the girls once lived. One I was sure would be around more. Jacob was in love with her. Rose had her own handicap. She was born deaf. I had never seen someone learn sign language in all my life. Rose was wonderful with Noel, and when I did need to go away for a bit, I knew she was in good hands with Jacob and Rose.
***
Watching Noel pull herself to a standing position, I looked up and smiled at Becker. I folded the little pink shirt and then the matching pants. Noel pulled them from the basket and tossed them to the floor. I didn’t mind. I would fold them ten more times. She was the cutest ten-month-old baby in the world. I was sure of that. Looking at Becker, I knew he was sure of it, too.
“She needs to stop that. I don’t want her to grow up,” Becker said from the door.
I smiled at him. “I think we should get married.”
“What? Where did that come from? I’ve ask you to marry me a million times. What? You just like to have all the control?” he teased with a huge smile.
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