by Nerys Leigh
His grin broke free. “Liar.”
“It was passable, at best.” She was clearly trying not to smile.
An overwhelming urge to pull her back into his arms and show her how not merely passable the kiss had been had him leaning forward again. He rapidly stood, before he gave in to it.
“I need to leave now. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave her what he intended as a sultry smile. “And if you’re very lucky, I may treat you to another passable kiss.”
Her eyebrows rose. “If I’m lucky?”
“Yup.”
“I think you have that the wrong way round.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself.”
He was still grinning as he left Daisy’s house. The way he was feeling, he might never stop.
He climbed into the buggy and waved to her where she stood at the door as he started Indiana off. Only when she’d gone back inside did he raise his fingers to his still-tingling lips.
He’d kissed Daisy, and she’d kissed him back.
And it had sent his heart into flight.
There was a very good chance that they were, in fact, courting.
Chapter 7
Will arrived back at the farm half an hour after he left Daisy. The sun had well and truly set by then, the only evidence of its passing a lingering purple in the sky to the west, and Daniel had already put Peapod and the horses into their stalls in the barn.
Will fetched a lamp and unhitched Indiana from the buggy. After he’d checked her hooves and let her drink from the water trough, he settled her into the spare stall in the new barn with some fresh oats.
He debated whether to just go to the bunkhouse without visiting the house first. If he spoke to Dan and Sara, they’d want to know how his dinner with Daisy went. There was no way he’d tell them about the kiss, but he held an irrational fear they’d be able to see it in his face anyway. Then there’d be questions. Lots of questions.
On the other hand, he couldn’t avoid them forever, and despite the meal he’d had at the hotel and the three cookies he’d pilfered from Daisy, he was a little hungry. Besides which, if he didn’t go in there now, Sara would probably come to the bunkhouse and interrogate him.
Stomach making his decision for him, he crossed the yard to the house and walked up the four steps to the porch. The kitchen was in darkness, but light spilled through the open door from the living room beyond. Through the kitchen window, Will could just see his brother and sister-in-law together on the settee.
Both of them held books, reading. Daniel sat in the corner, turned sideways so Sara could lean against his chest. His arm was around her, hand resting on her swollen belly. As Will watched, she lowered her book to look at her stomach and Dan smiled, rubbing his hand in a circle as he said something to her. She smiled in response and he kissed her hair before they both returned to their reading.
The deep love they shared was a familiar sight for Will, but seeing it now stirred an unfamiliar emotion. Not envy exactly, but something close. Up until now, he’d been convinced he would live his life alone, but kissing Daisy seemed to have changed something inside him. Was it possible he could have what Dan and Sara had? Could he shoulder the responsibility of being a husband and father?
Did he want to?
Just a day before, his answer would have been no. But now, he wasn’t sure what he wanted, other than to kiss Daisy again. He certainly didn’t deserve her and Nicky, but was that really his decision to make? If God thought he was ready, who was Will to argue?
Apparently, a lot could change with one kiss.
He moved from the window and opened the door. The moment he stepped inside, Sara called out from the living room.
“How did it go?”
He glanced at them through the door on the way to the pantry.
“At least let him get in,” Dan said.
Will snagged one of Sara’s delicious biscuits from a container on the shelf and wandered into the living room.
“So how did it go?” Dan said as he walked in.
Sara twisted her head round to look at him.
He gave her an innocent smile. “He’s in now.”
Will dropped into an armchair. “We went to the hotel, we had dinner, we picked Nicky up from Mr. and Mrs. Monroe, and I took them home. Daisy let me borrow the buggy. Indiana’s in the barn.”
Dan and Sara stared at him in silence, obviously waiting for more.
He took a bite of the biscuit.
“And what else?” Sara said, when it became clear he wasn’t going to volunteer any more information.
“That’s it.”
She huffed an impatient breath. “Well, did you enjoy yourself?”
“Yep.”
“Did she enjoy herself?”
“Seemed to.”
“Will you be doing it again?”
He shrugged and took another bite.
She scowled at him. “Getting up from here may be a major undertaking nowadays, but so help me, if you don’t give us more details, I’m going to come over there and slap you.”
Dan was obviously trying not to laugh. “Better do it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few months, it’s that you should never rile a pregnant woman.”
Will knew he should have gone straight to bed. “It was… nice. I had a good time. It was different.”
“Different in what way?” Sara asked.
He shrugged again, staring at the fire in the hearth across the room. “It felt different than it usually does when I’m with Daisy.”
“Good different?”
He smiled a little. “Yeah.” He looked away from the fire to see Sara with her hand pressed to her chest. “What?”
“The look on your face. And you haven’t once said since you got back that you aren’t courting.”
He huffed a sigh. “Stop looking at me like that. It was just dinner. I’m going to bed.” He rose from the chair. “I’ll see you two in the morning.”
He stopped at the pantry on the way out to grab two more biscuits.
Daniel caught up with him on the porch outside. “You kissed her, didn’t you?”
“What? No!” Will glanced past him to Sara on the settee.
“You kissed her.” Dan pointed at him. “That is the face of a man who’s been well and truly kissed.”
Next time, he was definitely going straight to bed. He never could get anything past his brother. “Don’t tell Sara. She’ll be planning the wedding so fast it’ll make our heads spin.”
Dan grinned. “So does this mean you are courting?”
“It means I kissed her, and that’s as far as I’m prepared to go. And stop grinning at me.”
Dan’s smile remained firmly in place. “Am I grinning?”
“I’m going to bed.” Will walked down the steps and headed for the bunkhouse, feeling his brother’s smile boring into his back. Halfway there, he turned round. “Stop grinning at me!”
Dan didn’t reply. He also didn’t stop grinning.
Will turned away and continued to the bunkhouse without looking back.
Because he didn’t want Daniel to see that he was smiling just as wide.
Chapter 8
Will rolled onto his other side for the fifth time. It didn’t help.
He lifted his head and punched his pillow into shape, but that didn’t help either.
With a sigh of frustration, he sat up and ran one hand through his hair. It felt the kind of messy it usually took an entire night to achieve, instead of the half hour he’d been tossing and turning. He was never going to get to sleep like this.
He rearranged his pillow with a sigh and propped it up against the wall so he could sit back against it.
Staring into the gloom of the bunkhouse, he thought about Daisy. He couldn’t stop thinking about Daisy. More specifically, he couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss.
He’d kissed plenty of women. Although admittedly, most of them had been in the saloon, upstairs, and he’d been paying
them.
A familiar wave of guilt washed over him at that thought, tightening his chest. Would he ever be free of it? Probably not.
Closing his eyes, he whispered, as he’d done a thousand times before, “I’m sorry, Father. Please forgive me.”
The thing was, he knew God had forgiven him. It said in the Bible over and over that all anyone had to do was genuinely ask for forgiveness, and He would grant it. Forgiveness was God’s gift, given without reserve or hesitation.
The verses that talked about it came to Will’s mind yet again.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for Mine own sake, and I will not remember thy sins.
In Whom we have our redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
And they went on. He had a whole list that Pastor Jones had helped him with, written on a piece of paper he kept folded in his Bible. Although he’d read them so many times now that he knew them by heart.
God didn’t lie, so Will knew he’d been forgiven for the years of drinking and gambling and prostitutes. But the guilt still gnawed at him. He’d been doing those things for seven years. How could he be forgiven in an instant?
Of course, that wasn’t really the problem. God had forgiven him, the moment Will asked. The real problem was that Will couldn’t forgive himself. He was convinced that he deserved to suffer. He’d chosen, however unwittingly, to torment himself, and so torment himself he had. And now he couldn’t seem to stop, even if it meant losing his chance to be with the one woman he’d always wanted. Because he didn’t deserve her. Because he wasn’t worthy of her. Because, eventually, he would let her down.
But that kiss.
For a few seconds, or minutes, or hours, however long the kiss lasted, he’d forgotten to hate himself. No wonder Daniel knew he’d kissed Daisy. Will’s lips still tingled with the memory.
He suddenly realized he was smiling. How could one kiss have affected him like this? No, it wasn’t the kiss, incredible as that had been. It was the woman. It was Daisy. He liked her a lot. More than a lot. Maybe he was even in love.
Maybe he’d been in love for a year, and that was why he kept going there.
His smile faded. He was in love with Daisy.
Groaning, he dropped his head into his hands. That made it all so much worse.
“What am I supposed to do, Father?” he said into his palms. “How do I get past this? What do You want me to do?”
Forgive yourself, was the answer, but Will knew that already. He only wished he could.
You’re hurting her too.
“I know, but I’ve tried not to. She won’t listen. I don’t even know why she chose me. She should choose someone else.” Although he couldn’t bring himself to want that with any conviction. He couldn’t stand the thought of Daisy with another man.
You’re a fool.
All right, that last one was from him, not God. It was no less the truth though. He was a fool.
Perhaps he should stop being one.
Good idea.
Will’s smile returned. “Yeah.”
Maybe it was time to stop being a fool.
Chapter 9
The bee veered away from Will’s gaping mouth at the last second.
Slapping a hand over his yawn, he flinched back and scowled at the flying monster as it buzzed away.
Daniel placed the final box of cherries into the wagon. “You didn’t have to come this early.”
Will returned to hitching Indiana to Daisy’s buggy. “I’ll be fine once I wake up. Daisy might need her horse back.”
Truth was, he didn’t know why he’d gotten up so early. He’d even milked Peapod already.
All right, maybe he had an inkling. It was the kiss, and the possibility that there would be more. Hopefully today.
“Could one of you help me with this? I’m not sure I can get it down the stairs.”
They both looked round to see Sara set one of the kitchen chairs down on the porch. Bess sat at her side.
Dan ran to help her. “I told you I’d come back to get it.”
“It’s not heavy.”
“That’s not the point.”
With a squeak of frustration, she waved him away and disappeared back into the house.
Dan picked up the chair and carried it to the wagon, laying it on its side in the bed.
“You’d better hope the baby comes soon,” Will remarked. “Because if it doesn’t and you keep treating her like she can’t do anything, I think she may kill you.”
“She loves it really,” Dan replied. “Well, most of the time.”
She emerged from the kitchen again with her jacket on and closed the door. Daniel ran to help her down the steps. She scowled at him until he backed off.
Chuckling softly, Will checked the final strap and rubbed Indiana’s shoulder.
Bess left Sara’s side to jump into the wagon and Dan reached for his wife to help her up.
She paused. “Oh no, wait. I have to go.”
Daniel leaned back against the wagon, crossing his arms as he watched her walk in the direction of the privy. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone have to relieve themselves quite so often.”
“What about Ma when she was expecting me?”
“I can’t remember. I was only four.” He looked sideways at Will. “When Daisy’s expecting your first child, we can get together with James and compare our wives’ respective rates of visiting the privy.”
Will choked on his reply, caught between laughing and correcting the assumption that Daisy would ever be having his child. Even though he wasn’t sure about that now.
He settled on, “I’m going to tell Sara you said that.”
“Don’t you dare.”
She returned a couple of minutes later and they set off for town, Will following the wagon in Daisy’s buggy.
Once there, he left Dan and Sara setting up for the market and took the buggy and Indiana to George’s livery. Then he strolled to Daisy’s house.
He found himself unexpectedly nervous as he walked up the short path to the door. Having had the night to think about it, would she regret their kiss? Would she want him to kiss her again? Would she still want to court him? What did he want?
He came close to just turning around and walking away, until a voice called his name. He looked up to see Nicky waving from his bedroom window.
“Are you coming in for breakfast?”
“I don’t know. Go ask your ma.”
Nicky immediately disappeared and Will heard him yell, “Ma!”
Less than half a minute later the front door opened.
Nicky grasped Will’s hand and pulled him inside. “She says you can have breakfast with us.”
And with that, the option to run away was gone, and Will didn’t know if that was good or bad.
Nicky led him to the kitchen and Will’s stomach rumbled as the aroma of eggs and sausage wafted around him. It being practically the middle of the night when he got up, he hadn’t eaten anything.
Daisy stood at the stove, her hair pinned up and an apron tied over her green calico dress. She glanced at him and smiled.
It was only when Nicky tugged at his hand that Will realized he’d been staring. Swallowing, he looked down. “Yeah, kid?”
“I drew a new picture. It’s in my bedroom. Wanna see?”
“Sure. You go on up and I’ll be there in a minute.”
Nicky ran from the room and Will heard his footsteps on the stairs.
“I took Indiana and the buggy back to George’s,” he said to Daisy. “Thanks for letting me borrow them.”
She returned her attention to the eggs frying in the pan. “It was the least I could do, what with keeping you out so late.”
> Did she regret that? He couldn’t tell. “I’m a big boy now. I’m allowed to stay up late.”
She flashed him another beautiful smile. “Nicky is going to be spending the afternoon at Edith’s today. I was thinking I could make us a picnic, if you’d like.”
Did this mean she didn’t regret the kiss? “Will this be a courting-type picnic?”
“It certainly will.”
Was it fair to let her think there was a chance for them when he was still undecided? “Daisy, I know what happened last night was… well, it might have made you think that I’ve changed my mind. But I’m still not sure.”
She didn’t hesitate. “And I still am. I was considering making chocolate-dipped sugar cookies.”
That gave him pause. “You were?”
“Mm hmm.”
Her chocolate-dipped sugar cookies were delicious.
He was a weak, weak man. “All right then.”
She laughed. “You’re so easy to tempt.”
He couldn’t deny that. “I know.” Glancing at the door, he drifted over to the stove. “I, um, I had a good time last night.”
“So did I.”
“I especially liked the end part.”
Her attention remained on the frying pan. “So did I.”
His gaze dropping to her mouth, he placed his hand on the small of her back. He hadn’t meant to start like this, but temptation was hard to resist when it came in the form of the woman who’d captivated him since he was old enough to be captivated.
“For someone who’s not courting,” she said, “you’re being awfully familiar.”
He stepped closer. “Do you mind?”
She finally glanced at him, a smile playing on her lips. “Not in the slightest.”
He leaned towards her, his eyes on her mouth.
“Will!”
Nicky’s yell from upstairs brought him to a halt. Closing his eyes, he drew back. “Yes?”
“Are you coming?”
Heaving a sigh, Will shook his head.
Daisy grinned. “It’s probably best you get used to that now, for when we’re married.”
All Will could think was he hoped they were going somewhere private for their picnic.
