by Nerys Leigh
Hearing Will’s “Hey, kid,” she melted a little.
When she got downstairs Will was standing in the hall just inside the door, Nicky saying something to him. Will raised his eyes, but there was no hint of his easy smile, and Daisy came to an abrupt halt. Something was wrong.
She schooled her features into neutrality, even though her chest was now stuttering. “Nicky, would you go get me four eggs from the cellar?”
“Yes, Ma.”
She watched her son dash off then walked up to Will. “What’s wrong?” she whispered.
He swallowed, glancing at the floor. “I came to tell you that… that…” He stopped and took a deep breath, running one hand over his hair. “That we’re not courting anymore and I won’t be coming round from now on. No more calling on me, or bringing me gifts. You’re a wonderful woman, Daisy, but this is over. Find yourself someone else, one who will be good for you and Nicky.”
For a few moments, all she could do was gape at him. “What… why… I don’t… What’s happened?”
He didn’t meet her gaze. “It doesn’t matter. You just need to stay away from me, that’s all. I’m sorry.”
She grasped his arm as he turned to leave. “You can’t just walk away like this. Tell me what’s wrong. We can work it out together, whatever it is.”
He couldn’t do this to her, not now. Not when she’d opened her heart again.
For a moment, he didn’t move. Then he turned towards her, and his eyes shimmered with unshed tears.
The sight was such a shock that she took a step back.
“Find a good man, Daisy,” he said softly. “Be happy. You deserve it.”
And then he walked out and was gone.
Numb, unmoving, Daisy stood staring at the empty doorway.
What had just happened?
A pinprick of pain blossomed in her chest and her eyes heated with the threat of tears. She would have run after him, demanded he at least told her why. Begged him to stay and talk to her.
But the sound of the back door opening and closing forced her back to reality. She was a mother first.
“Where’s Will?” Nicky asked, walking up to her with a basket of eggs and looking out the still-open front door.
Daisy forced the pain down, blinking her unshed tears away. “He had to go. There’s something he has to do.”
“Is he coming back?”
The pain grew again. If only she knew.
“Not tonight, sweetie.”
Maybe not ever.
~ ~ ~
Will didn’t go into the house when he got back to the farm.
The kitchen window was in darkness, but the lamplight from the living room filtered from inside. Dan and Sara would have had supper by now, and they’d be relaxing together like they always did in the evenings.
Will had ridden aimlessly for a long time before he finally went home, going nowhere in particular. He’d considered going to his parents, but he didn’t want to see the disappointment in their eyes when he told them what happened. He’d also considered going to see Zach, but Jo would have been there and she was Daisy’s friend. So he just rode around on Ginger until twilight forced him to go home.
But he didn’t go inside.
He unsaddled Ginger, checked her hooves by lamplight, left her in her stall with some hay, and walked to the bunkhouse. Inside, he sat on his bed and stared into the darkness.
At first, after visiting Daisy, he’d just felt numb, like his brain couldn’t hold onto any thoughts. After an hour or so of riding, his mind cleared enough to think about the situation. He’d considered dozens of different options and come up with nothing.
He couldn’t stop Briggs.
He couldn’t get that much money.
He couldn’t protect everyone he loved, all the time.
And it was his fault.
He wasn’t responsible for Briggs gambling away the money he needed to pay his mortgage, and he wasn’t responsible for what Briggs did after that. If it hadn’t been Will who won that money from him, someone else would have.
But Will had been there, in the saloon. Will had taken money from him and countless other men whose only crime was not being as good a player as him. Will had paid to lie with women he barely knew. And Will had kept going back for six years, doing the same thing over and over.
And because of all that, the people he loved were now in danger.
Pain clutching at his chest, he pressed his hands to his face with a sob.
It took him a while to stop crying. He hadn’t cried this way in… he couldn’t even remember. But then he’d never lost as much as he had now. He’d never been in love.
At the thought of Daisy, new tears burned his already sore eyes. What would she tell Nicky? He wouldn’t understand why Will wasn’t visiting them anymore, and Will couldn’t explain. It was his birthday next week. What would Will do then?
How could he have made such a mess of everything, all over again?
“I’m sorry, Father,” he whispered into his hands. “I’m sorry I got everything so wrong. What do I do now? How do I keep them safe?”
His own life meant nothing compared to the lives of the people he loved, but that didn’t matter if he couldn’t protect them.
“I’m sorry.”
He spent a long time in prayer before he finally couldn’t stay awake any longer.
Will knew God was with him. He just didn’t know what he was going to do.
Chapter 13
Will placed the final box of cherries into the back of the wagon and climbed up to sit beside Daniel.
“It’s going to be a good year for the fruit,” he said as Dan started River and Ginger off. “Even better than last year.”
Dan glanced back at their latest crop of early cherries. “Yeah.”
Will gazed at the blossoming trees as they passed. He loved this time of year, with the flowers and insects and long, warm days.
His thoughts went back to the previous year, when so much happened. “At least you’re not slacking like last year.”
Dan gave an indignant bark of laughter. “I was injured!”
Will waved a hand. “Excuses.”
“I couldn’t see! And then I was shot!”
Will had never been so scared as when his big brother, the one who’d always been so strong, had become so weak. “More excuses.”
Dan gave his shoulder a not so light shove. Will shoved him back, grinning.
“It’s been quite a year,” Dan said.
“Yeah.”
They drove for half a minute in silence before Dan spoke again. “I’m going to be a father.”
“You’re only just realizing that?”
He snorted a laugh. “Well, Sara’s been dropping these hints, and she’s been getting pretty big lately, but I guess I’m just slow on the uptake.” His smile faded and he looked out over the fields. “I’m afraid.”
Will regarded his brother in surprise. It was an uncharacteristic moment of vulnerability. “Of what?”
Dan sighed. “Of not being a good enough father. Of not being able to provide for Sara and our children. Of not being able to protect them. Of getting it all wrong.”
Will couldn’t help it. He burst into laughter.
His brother gaped at him. “What are you laughing for?”
“Dan, you’ve been preparing for this just about your entire life. Having a family is all you’ve ever wanted. I don’t know of anyone more ready to be a father than you. You’re going to be great at it.”
He was quiet for a few seconds. “That’s true.”
“Besides which, if you mess things up, I’ll be here to fix it.” Will shrugged, looking ahead of them. “As usual.”
“As usual?”
“You’re welcome.”
“You’re insane.”
There was another half a minute of silence before Dan spoke again. “So was it a fight?”
Will didn’t have to ask him what he was talking about. It was four days sin
ce Briggs threatened him. Since Will told Daisy it was over.
Seeing her in church had ripped his heart open. Nicky ran to him, as usual. When Will told him he wouldn’t be sitting with them for the service, he asked if he could sit with Will. Will hadn’t the heart to say no. After Sara let Nicky feel the baby moving, he spent most of the rest of the service with his head resting on her stomach, giggling every time he felt a kick.
After the service, Will passed Edith in the aisle. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead on the spot from the one she gave him, bleeding from a thousand different wounds.
Daisy didn’t speak to him at all. He didn’t blame her for that. But he missed her, so much it felt as if he’d never recover from it. It was no more than he deserved.
“No,” he said to his brother, “it wasn’t a fight.”
“Then what? I thought things were going well. You were happy.”
Will looked out over the fields. “It just didn’t work out, that’s all.”
“You know you can talk to me, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I know.” But not about this.
He could feel Dan’s eyes on him, but thankfully his brother didn’t question him further. Will didn’t know what to tell him. The truth wasn’t an option.
He hadn’t seen Briggs since that day, but it was probably too much to hope that he’d just given up and gone away like Marshal Cade thought he would. But even if he did, there could be others out there holding grudges. Will wondered if he’d ever feel safe again.
They drove into the yard and he waved to Sara where she sat on the bench on the porch. It was a little unusual to see her there at this time of day. She was usually preparing supper when they returned from the orchard or the fields.
Bess rose from where she sat by Sara’s feet, but instead of running to greet them, she walked to the edge of the porch and then looked back at Sara, wagging her tail with a whine.
“How did the cherry picking go?” Sara called across the yard.
“Five boxes,” Daniel replied, setting the wagon’s brake and jumping to the ground.
Will climbed down and jogged to the porch. Something felt wrong. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said with a smile.
Dan walked past him to sit beside her. Frowning, he touched his hand to her cheek. “You look a bit flushed. Do you feel okay?”
Her gaze flicked between him and Will. “Promise me you won’t panic.”
Will’s gut clenched. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” She paused. “I’m just fairly sure I’m in labor.”
There was a moment of stunned silence.
And then they panicked.
Daniel leapt to his feet. “Go and get Doc Wilson! And Mrs. Wilson. And Ma and Pa and… and…”
Will spun round and sprinted for the wagon. Halfway across the yard, he stumbled to a halt. Would it be quicker to unhitch Ginger so he could gallop into town? Or should he just take the wagon, cherries and all?
He shoved his hands through his hair in frustration. Why couldn’t he decide?
“Will!”
At Sara’s cry, he whirled and rushed back to her. “What? What can I do? What do you need?”
She looked between him and Daniel. “This will be easier on me if the two of you could not panic.”
She would have had more success asking the sun to not set, but Will nevertheless tried to school his face into some semblance of peace. “No problem. I’m not panicking.” Was his voice shaking?
“It started less than an hour ago,” she said, “so it’s going to be a while. There’s no hurry.”
Will needed to hurry. He needed to be doing something. “Can I go and get Doc Wilson though?”
“You may go and get Doctor–” She stopped abruptly and tensed, pressing her lips together.
Dan sat beside her again, holding his hands out as if afraid to touch her. He looked more scared than Will had ever seen him. “What’s wrong?”
Will fell to his knees at her feet. He couldn’t stand seeing Sara in pain.
“Just a contraction,” she finally said after a few seconds of silence. She breathed out and smiled. “They’re a lot more uncomfortable than I was expecting.”
Daniel took her hand and kissed it. “What can I do?”
“You could fix supper. I was about to start it when this happened.” She patted her stomach.
He looked uncertain. “Supper. I can do that.” He glanced at Will.
The two of them had cooked for themselves before Sara arrived, but not with any great skill. Sara’s delicious cooking had made them both lazy in that respect.
“I’ll go get the doctor,” Will said, rising to his feet. He leaned down to kiss Sara’s cheek. “It’s all going to be all right.” He wasn’t sure who he was trying to reassure, her or himself.
For the first time, a hint of fear touched her eyes, but then it was gone. “I know.”
He returned to the wagon and unloaded the cherries first. He didn’t want to. He wanted to gallop into town as fast as he could and get the doctor. But for Sara’s sake, he tried to maintain the appearance of calm.
So he unloaded the cherries and unhitched Ginger and River and put Ginger’s saddle on her, all the time attempting to keep his face from betraying how very far from calm he was.
“Can I get you anything while I’m in town?” he called to Sara as he mounted.
“No, thank you.”
Waving, he rode from the yard and around the house. Once he was out of sight of Sara, he pushed Ginger into a gallop.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever got to town so fast. Both he and Ginger were panting by the time he rode onto the main street. He glanced around, for a moment forgetting what he was supposed to do.
“Will?”
At Daisy’s voice, he looked round to see her approaching him across the road.
He dropped to the ground as she walked up to him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her brow creased in concern.
“Sara’s having the baby.” He shook his head. “At least, she’s in labor. But I’ve been away for ten minutes. She could be having it now. Could she be having the baby by now?” What if he’d taken too long?
Daisy took hold of his shoulders, staring up into his eyes. “How long has she been in labor?”
“Uh…” He tried to recall what she’d said. “I’m not sure. I took ten minutes to unhitch Ginger from the wagon and then saddle her, and then the ride here…”
“It doesn’t need to be precise. Just a rough idea.”
“About an hour and a half, I guess.” That seemed like a long time to him.
Daisy released his shoulders. “So it’s only just begun. Stop panicking. She’s likely got a long time to go yet. I was in labor for forty hours before Nicky finally arrived.”
Will gaped at her in horror. This was going to take almost two days? “I don’t think I’ll survive forty hours of this.”
“I think it’s going to be harder on Sara than on you.”
He gave a strained laugh. “Of course. I didn’t mean it wouldn’t be.”
She patted his arm. “Go fetch Doctor Wilson. I’ll drop Nicky off at my folks and then go to the farm. I think Sara will need someone calmer than you and Daniel with her through this.”
“I’m going to tell my parents after I’ve been to the doc. And Amy made me promise I would tell one of them when it happened, so I’ll tell her. So she’ll probably take Jo and Louisa.” He paused. “But I know Sara would want you there too.”
The truth was, he wanted Daisy there. She made him feel better, no matter what was going on.
“I can tell Amy, if you’d like.”
“Thank you,” he said, relieved. He was feeling like he’d never get back to Sara and Dan.
Daisy touched his arm. “It’s going to be all right, Will.”
He breathed out and nodded. “I’m trying not to panic. I really didn’t think I’d be this scared when
it happened. I don’t think I’ve stopped praying since Sara told us she was in labor.”
She smiled and rubbed his arm before lowering her hand. “I knew you’d be scared. You love Sara and Daniel too much not to be.”
“Yeah.” He gazed into Daisy’s eyes, wishing he could hold her just one more time. He stepped back before he did something he might not regret, but that would still be a bad idea. “I’ll see you back at the farm.”
Leading Ginger, he hurried off in the direction of Doctor Wilson’s office.
He glanced back to see Daisy walking away along the street. Just those few minutes with her had made him feel a whole lot better. He could be strong for Dan and Sara, and his new niece or nephew.
He just wasn’t sure if he could be as strong when it came to Daisy.
~ ~ ~
When Will got back to the farm, Doctor Wilson’s buggy was in the yard.
In his rush to get into the house, he went to tie Ginger to the porch, until he remembered the one time he’d done that, a few months previously. In the five minutes he was in the kitchen, his horse had managed to eat almost all of one of Sara’s climbing plants. Sara had not been pleased, to put it mildly.
He took Ginger to the fence on the far side of the yard and left her tied there instead, then sprinted back to the house and rushed inside.
The kitchen was empty. So was the living room. He at least had the presence of mind to knock on the closed bedroom door rather than bursting inside like he wanted to.
Daniel opened the door. His usually tanned skin was one shade up from lily-white. “Come on in.”
Sara was sitting up in the bed, Doctor Wilson placing his stethoscope into his bag at her side.
“Is everything all right?” Will asked, his heart thudding.
“Everything’s just fine,” Doc Wilson replied, with a smile Will imagined he thought reassuring. “The baby sounds good and healthy. It’s going to be a while yet though. I’ll come back later tonight and check on Mrs. Raine again.”
Will stared at him in horror. “You’re not staying? What if the baby comes?”
“Will, Doctor Wilson has better things to do than sit here watching me for hours,” Sara said.
