by Elise Allen
“He didn’t mean it,” she said to Gabby. “The rock was seriously hot. It burned his hand.”
“I wasn’t even thinking,” Satchel said. “I just threw it…and it landed in the middle of the pizza. And then…”
“Excuse me!”
Dina Parker’s strident voice cut through everything else. She edged next to Gabby, pushing Zee and Satchel aside. Then she turned to the camera and f lashed a megawatt smile. “Dina Parker here, back with the alien from another planet. Tell us, alien…tell the people of Earth, why are you here? Would you like us to take you to our leader?”
While Satchel and Zee were talking, the Martian had stopped jumping on Gabby’s head. He now braced his feet against Gabby’s chest, held the edges of her unzipped jacket, and head-butted her in the throat. It was like getting pounded by dandelion f luff.
Yet when the Martian heard Dina’s question, he froze. He looked at Dina…looked at her microphone…looked at the camera…then his eyes rounded and pooled with tears. Somehow he managed to look even smaller and cuter than before.
“It was terrible,” he said in his tiny, high voice. He looked right into the lens. His little lips quivered. “The Esquagonians…they kidnapped me! They kidnapped all of us! Me, the human, the Miravlad…all of us! It was terrible!”
He burst into adorable tears and buried his face in Gabby’s jacket.
“Awwww,” Zee and Satchel chorused.
“No!” Gabby objected. “No ‘aw’! That’s not what happened at all! This alien is from Mars—not that Mars, and—”
Gabby was cut off by the roar of an engine. A black limousine was racing across the pizza. With a scree of brakes, it fishtailed to a stop mere inches from Gabby, spraying cheese, pepperoni, and sauce all over her, the Martian, Zee, Satchel, and Dina.
“My pantsuit!” Dina wailed.
The back door of the limousine opened. Edwina’s voice rang out. “Get in.”
“Sweet! Our ride’s here,” Zee said, tromping through cheese to get to the door.
“With the touch of a button, I can send four thousand volts of current through the frame of this car,” Edwina said. “That’s twice as much as the electric chair. I suggest you back away and let Gabby get in. Only Gabby.”
Zee held up her hands and took a giant step back. “You know what, Gabs? I’m just gonna let you get in.”
“I don’t know who you are,” Dina shouted toward the car, “but you’re getting a dry-cleaning bill for this pantsuit!”
Gabby stood. The Martian was still clinging to her jacket.
“I’ll take him.”
The voice belonged to a stone-faced, firm-jawed man in a dark suit and sunglasses. Gabby hadn’t even seen him approach; he was just suddenly there, right next to Satchel. He bent down to take the Martian, and the doughy little alien clung to him gratefully. “Thank F luguin you came! You have no idea what I’ve been through!”
As the firm-jawed man stood back to full height, Dina smiled and f lipped her hair, spraying sauce in Gabby’s face.
“You, sir,” she said. “You seem to understand what’s happening here. Do you mind if I interview you on camera about the alien situation?”
“That would be fine,” the man said with a nod. “Perhaps I could even show you my bunny collection.”
Dina cocked her head, confused, but she still beckoned to her cameraman, and they followed the man across the pizza.
“Get in,” Edwina said from the car. “Now, Gabby.”
Gabby leaned into the car. “I will. Let me just get Sneakers and Sharli and Petey.”
“They’re going in another car. I assure you they’re quite safe. You might have noticed we’re handling this situation.”
Gabby turned and looked around. Another limo was on the pizza, and Gabby saw Sneakers’s tail disappear as the dog jumped in and the door slammed shut. Gabby looked out at the crowd to see how they were reacting, but most of them—including her own mother and Arlington—weren’t even looking her way. Massive stage lights had appeared and snapped on around the perimeter of the picnic area, and there was now a tall platform stage with a giant screen behind it that Gabby was sure hadn’t been there when she visited her mom before. The stage was far and high enough from Gabby that she couldn’t see it clearly, but on the screen it was huge. A good-looking middle-aged man in a suit stood on it. He held a microphone and called down to the crowd.
“Whaddaya think, people, are you impressed? ’Cause you’ve all just been a part of illusionist Jack Marvel’s latest special: Mindtrip! Let’s give him a big hand!”
A dark-haired man wearing black jeans and an open black vest that showed off his insanely cut abs strolled onto the stage, arms spread wide to gather in the ecstatic cheers and applause from the crowd. He put his palms together and bowed, then took the microphone from the man in the suit.
“Thank you, everyone,” he said in the low purr Gabby had seen a million times on TV. “And a big thanks to Gabby Duran, who won the online contest to be my volunteer helper. Let’s give her a round of applause.”
The lights moved, blinding Gabby with their glare. She put up an arm to shield her eyes. The crowd screamed and clapped, and Madison squealed, “That’s my bestie! Me, Madison Murray!” but somehow under it all Gabby heard Edwina sigh and groan from the car.
“Oh, for the love of Zinqual…”
“And just so you know,” Jack Marvel continued as the lights pivoted back to him, “the pizza did get measured before the illusion, and it was one hundred thirty-two feet across. This is officially the world’s largest pizza! Give it up!”
Now the crowd really lost their minds.
“I didn’t know you entered a contest to help Jack Marvel,” Satchel said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Zee smacked him in the arm.
“There are ways I can make the car get you,” Edwina said, “and I assure you, you won’t like them.”
“Gotta go,” Gabby said. She crawled halfway into the car, then stopped. She turned and looked back at her friends—Zee with her hands in her already-full overall pockets, Satchel with his shoulders slightly hunched and his hair hanging in his face. Gabby’s heart swelled. They’d been her two best friends forever and she’d always loved them, but for some reason she’d never felt how much until right now.
She ran and threw her arms around Zee, then Satchel.
“I love you guys,” she said. “Thanks for helping me.”
Without looking back, she climbed into the limousine and slammed the door.
ack Marvel works for A.L.I.E.N.?” Gabby asked as the limousine sped away.
“Most of the big illusionists do,” Edwina answered from the driver’s seat without turning around. “It’s a win-win partnership, really.”
Gabby reached up and pulled at one of her curls. She didn’t want to ask her next question, but she had to know. “So…you think people will believe it was all an illusion? I didn’t just destroy A.L.I.E.N.?”
“Single-handedly? What a high opinion you have of yourself. No, you did not. The Jack Marvel revelation will be more than enough to debunk Ms. Parker’s news story, and as for those who saw the event in person, most will be equally satisfied. A few memories will have to be altered, but nothing beyond the pale.” She looked in the rearview mirror and met Gabby’s eyes. “The remote control was a nice touch. People are much more open to suggestion when there’s a logical explanation available. Well done.”
Edwina was stingy with her praise. When Gabby received it, she normally took a moment to soak it in and enjoy, but right now she had bigger concerns. She leaned forward in her seat. “Are Petey, Sharli, and Sneakers going home?”
“They’ll be gently debriefed and checked out by Medical, just like you, but yes, then they will go home. Petey’s parents and Blinzarra already know the children are safe.”
“Good,” Gabby said. “And Blinzarra…now that Sharli’s back—she won’t push the red button, right?”
Edwina raised an eyebrow. �
��How do you know about the red button?”
“I’ll tell you everything, just…will she?”
Edwina pursed her lips and turned her attention back to the road ahead. “She already has.”
“What?!” Gabby cried. “But Petey said if she did, there’d be war all over the universe. He said it would hit Earth, too!”
“Petey’s a bright child and a very good eavesdropper on his parents’ conversations,” Edwina said. “He’s correct. The red button began a countdown to release the most dreadful weapon the universe has ever seen. Miravlad and Esquagon both have a stockpile. Once one is released, more will follow from both planets. Galactic allies will join in the fight. Earth will be in the crosshairs within the year, but it’s only one of the planets in danger. Most likely, the entire Cosmos will devolve into UW-Six.”
“UW-Six?”
“Universal War Six.”
“There’ve been five other Universal Wars?”
Edwina sighed and shook her head. “The school systems here.” Then she met Gabby’s eyes in the rearview mirror again. “What do you think wiped out the dinosaurs?”
“An asteroid?”
Edwina chuckled. “Don’t tell your friend the tiny Martian that. They worked very hard on that weapon. I’m sure he’d want the credit.”
Gabby shook her head. She was so used to Edwina knowing everything long before Gabby did, she hadn’t told her the most important thing.
“He’s not my friend,” Gabby said. “And the Esquagonians didn’t take him—or any of us. The Martians did. And the one who came back with us—the little one—he was in charge. When he was talking to the P.T.A. meeting, he wore a patch that made him look like an Esquagonian—”
Gabby surged forward and bumped her head as Edwina slammed on the brakes.
“Ow,” Gabby said.
“Seat belt. Always.” Edwina smacked both hands down on the steering wheel. “I knew it!”
“I knew it, too,” Gabby said, “and I always do wear a seat belt, it’s just—”
“This is not about your seat belt, Gabby!” Edwina snapped. “Though of course you should put one on. This is about Mars. They want UW-Six—their most profitable times are during war, and they’re close enough to the Outer Reaches that they aren’t affected by the fighting.”
“Yeah,” Gabby said, amazed that Edwina got it so quickly, “that’s what I thought, too. I mean, I didn’t know the history or anything, but…yeah.”
Gabby heard horns blaring all around them. When she looked through the limousine’s tinted windows, she was impressed by the sheer number of different vulgar hand signals she saw.
“Should we be stopped in the middle of the highway?” she asked.
Edwina turned all the way around in her seat. “Tell me everything. Quickly.”
Gabby did. When she was done, Edwina said, “I need to make a call.” She pressed one button on the dash, then another. As the partition between them rolled shut, Gabby heard her say, “Hello, Eugene?”
Then nothing else. The barrier was soundproof.
There was a tablet screen built into the front wall of the limousine, just below the partition. Gabby booted it up and clicked around to see article after article about Jack Marvel and his latest illusion. One tabloid site called out the event as a real alien sighting, but that site also had an interview with the Loch Ness Monster, so its reporting was either completely bogus or shockingly accurate. Either way, most people wouldn’t believe it.
Gabby was glad she’d listened to Edwina and put her seat belt on. Even with it, she was thrown to the side as the limousine cut a sharp U-turn, inciting even more honks from the other cars on the highway.
“My superior, the chief executive overseer of A.L.I.E.N., doesn’t believe your story,” Edwina said as the partition came back down.
Gabby was shocked. She wasn’t a liar. Did Edwina’s boss think she’d lied?
“It’s true! Why would I make it up? How would I make it up?”
Edwina didn’t answer. Her lips were set in a firm line, and she held the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip. Cars zipped by the window as the limo moved faster and faster.
“Tell your superior to ask Petey,” Gabby said. “He’ll say the same thing.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Edwina said. “Petey is an imaginative child.”
Gabby’s jaw dropped. “You don’t believe me either?! What about Sneakers? Sneakers can do that thing where he shows people what he sees. If you don’t believe me, ask Sneakers!”
“It’s not about me believing you,” Edwina said. “It’s about Eugene believing you. And while I did mention Petey and Sneakers to him as solid sources of information, he made it quite clear he has no interest in hearing from a ten-year-old boy and a dog.”
Edwina sounded angry. Gabby had never heard that controlled tightness in her voice. “Eugene’s your superior?”
“Yes,” Edwina said, and Gabby thought she heard a sneer in the word. “He expressed doubt about the P.T.A. meeting from the beginning. He was against the treaty. He didn’t believe Esquagon and Miravlad had good intentions for peace. When we heard rumblings of a threat, he suspected the Esquagonians right away. I knew it didn’t add up. It took centuries of debate to get Esquagon and Miravlad to even talk about a treaty. It didn’t make sense that their planetary governments would do anything to harm it now, and no rogue operators could pull off the operation on Earth—that’s why the meeting was placed here. I said as much to Eugene, but he claimed I was being naive. When we received intelligence that Esquagonians were headed to Blinzarra’s house to kidnap Sharli, he said it proved he was right.”
“The text you sent me,” Gabby said. “That was because you thought Esquagonians were coming to take Sharli?”
“That was the report, yes, but I still had my doubts, which is likely why Eugene insisted I be on the team to check it out. Four of us arrived at the house and were promptly neutralized by a team of three Esquagonians—”
“Not Esquagonians. Martians. With patches. And I bet they used different patches to look like me, Zee, and Satchel.” Then she frowned, thinking of what Edwina had just said. “What do you mean ‘neutralized’? Were you…?”
“Rendered neutral,” Edwina said. “By the time we were again operational, the first message from Esquagon had come through to the P.T.A. meeting. Everyone saw that an Esquagonian had kidnapped Sharli. Given that visual evidence and the evidence of my fellow agents, almost no one believed the Esquagonian ambassador’s protests that Esquagon wasn’t involved. Ganatel managed to keep negotiations open for as long as possible, but—”
“Ganatel’s the fuzzy orange mascot woman?”
Edwina looked in the rearview mirror and shot her a withering glare. “Please tell me you did not just call the Universal Head of Cosmotic Affairs ‘the fuzzy orange mascot woman.’”
Gabby shrank a little in her seat. “Wouldn’t dream of it?”
Edwina nodded. “Ganatel did her best, but once Blinzarra saw the very small and disturbingly adorable Martian stack yet another accusation onto the pile against the Esquagonians, she refused to wait any longer. She pressed the red button and started the launch countdown.”
“Wait, you mean what he said just now at the fair?” Gabby said. “How did she see that?”
“A.L.I.E.N. is always aware of news stories involving extraterrestrials,” Edwina said. “Since this particular one involved the return of Blinzarra’s daughter, of course Eugene pulled it up on the conference room screen.”
“Okay,” Gabby said, “but why won’t he believe me? And why won’t he even listen to Petey and Sneakers? We were there.”
“There are only two reasons. Either Eugene is a blithering idiot, or he stands to gain from a war as much as Mars,” Edwina said. “And it is my experience that Eugene is not a blithering idiot.”
Gabby took a second to let this sink in. She nodded as it all clicked in place. “You’re saying Eugene is working with the Martians. They’re paying him
to make sure Esquagon gets blamed for Sharli’s kidnapping and the war gets bigger!”
“You needn’t sound so excited about it, but yes, that’s what I’m saying. No doubt the Martians promised him an escape off-planet as well, so he wouldn’t have to contend with the fallout on Earth.”
Gabby’s knee jounced up and down. She was suddenly full of energy and felt like if she didn’t do anything about it she’d explode.
“So what do we do?” Gabby asked. “We have to tell somebody and stop him before the countdown ends!”
“That is the plan,” Edwina said.
She hung a U-turn and slammed on the brakes, then got out of the car and opened Gabby’s door. When Gabby stepped out, she saw a very familiar building with a rustic facade, designed to look like an Italian villa.
“We’re going to a Pasta Garden?” Gabby asked.
The restaurant chain was everywhere. She’d eaten there a zillion times.
“We’re going to the P.T.A. meeting,” Edwina said. Though her white hair and lined face proved she was a much older woman, she stood tall and moved toward the door with quick, determined strides. Gabby had to trot to catch up with her. “It’s in the secret room downstairs, the one all Pasta Gardens keep reserved for any necessary A.L.I.E.N. meetings.”
“The Pasta Garden works with A.L.I.E.N.?”
“Of course. How could they possibly make unlimited fresh breadsticks without cloning technology?” Edwina opened the door to the restaurant. “Let’s go. We have less than five minutes until launch time.”
he restaurant was crowded. At least twenty people hovered around the hostess podium. Edwina strode past all of them to get to the hostess herself, a girl with dark hair in a messy bun who couldn’t have been more than nineteen. She looked frazzled as she tried to juggle all the voices yelling at her to find out when they’d be seated.
“Excuse me,” Edwina said, “but may I see where you make your plindilini?”
The hostess was stunned, but only for a second. Then she stood tall and looked Edwina respectfully in the eye. Gabby thought she might salute. “Right this way.”
