Chapter 10
I stared at Abram, the creases of his mouth, the crinkles on his forehead, the pores on his face. It was all him, right down to the last hair, right down to the last freckle. I was actually sitting here, in front of him.
Better than the fact that he looked like himself, was that he actually was himself. This wasn’t some sort of damaged, carbon-copy of the greatest man I’d ever known. This was him, plain and simple. This was the real deal, the original Abram. The man I’d love for the rest of my life, no matter where he was.
“You’re here,” I said lovingly as he reached over with his other hand and stroked my fingers with his.
Squeezing, he said, “Of course, I’m here. You called for me, didn’t you?”
I blinked, remembering the memory of the night I was in and wondering if, by some bizarre method, I had actually managed to travel back in time. Lord knows, it wouldn’t have been the strangest thing I had ever been through. At this point, time travel just seemed like another check to tick off my bucket list.
This moment certainly felt real. My mind started racing with the possibilities. If that were the case, maybe I could change things altogether. Maybe it meant I could warn Abram of what the future was going to hold and save him from the horrible fate that was about to befall us both.
As fast as the hope filled my chest, it left. Maybe if I said something to him, it would break the memory and I’d be right back in the present, without his essence.
I knew better than that. That was the easy way out. The coward’s way. Nothing had ever been that easy for me.
I had been through enough to know that, even if I were actually in the past, redirecting the flow of history would only serve to open us up to a whole host of new issues. At this point, we still hadn’t saved Briar. We still hadn’t defeated Mandrake and freed Charlie Prince. What if, in an effort to change what was to come, I doomed both of them, and us? What if I made everything so much worse? What if I couldn’t do anything for any of them and it destroyed all of us?
Though I hated the fact that Abram was gone, I couldn’t deny that being on my own had given me a strength I never knew was possible. It had made me fiercer and more dangerous than I’d ever be with Abram. I would need those qualities if I was going to stand even the slightest chance at taking down The Brothers, with or without Abram at my side.
So, yeah, it sucked, but I was going to have to let this one ride out. Because even if I wanted to change the past, there was nothing I could do that wouldn’t have a shattering effect on the world around us.
As he took my hand again, grazing my knuckles with his smooth lips, I realized I could have chosen a lot worse memories to come back to.
My mind reeled ahead to what happened next. In fact, I thought about it often. Things were about to get really fun, and it had been so long for me. I think I needed the excitement of what was coming.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Abram said, looking up at me with eyes that were a mixture of awe and raw, passionate hunger.
“Good,” I said, standing and pulling my hand free.
A shocked look of pleasure crossed his face. The first time this night happened, Abram took the lead. It was great, one of the best nights of my life, actually. Still, I wasn’t the woman I’d been back then. Now I knew what I wanted, and thankfully, I was woman enough to take it.
After sliding off the shoulders of my white dress, I let it slip it down to my feet, then stepped out of it, leaving it in a heap of fabric on the floor. Since the damn thing was too tight for either underwear or a bra, I was left completely naked, save for my pearls and heels.
Abram’s eyes widened, and the features on his face intensified with his white hot desire for me. I had forgotten about that, just how animalistic my man could get when I turned him on. It was like the beast, the monster that lived inside of him, was sitting just under the surface. One wrong move, and he would tear my throat out. One right move, and he’d make me glad I was a woman.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he forced his gaze from my curves to my face. “We haven’t even eaten yet.”
Judging by the expression on his face, there was no way Abram actually cared about the food right now.
“That food is a disaster,” I answered, like I’d wanted to tell him the first time this happened. “You’ll choke it down, of course, and you’ll pretend it’s not disgusting. You’re good like that. The truth is, though, neither of us came here for food.” I cocked my naked hip to the side and winked. He turned me into a hussy, and I loved every second of it. “You and me, we’re always here for something else. Something better than food could ever be.”
I rounded the table, my heels tapping steadily against the kitchen tile. As I passed him, I let my fingers drag across his arm, up to his shoulder, and then walked my fingers up his neck, the way I knew he loved to be touched. His yearning radiated off his skin, and my body perked up in response.
“So,” I said, in my best and flirtiest tone, “I’m going to give you a choice. You can either stay here and pretend to enjoy my spaghetti, or you can follow me into the bedroom and I’ll give you something I’m sure you’ll enjoy a lot mo—”
Before I could finish the sentence, I was grabbed up from behind.
I’d almost forgotten how fast he was. Faster than any man had the right to be, that was for sure.
The world was a whirl, and by the time it stopped, I was on the bed, breathless. Abram was shirtless in front of me and his pants had already been unbuttoned. He bit his lower lip as he breathed, and it was enough to make my nipples go hard and every part of my body clutch with need.
He pinned me with his gaze. “I’m going to—”
I sat up on my heels, the mattress sinking beneath me, and pressed my finger over his lips. “This isn’t about what you’re going to do to me, Abram. This is about what I’m going to do to you.”
Moving my finger from his mouth, I put both hands on the sides of his pants and pulled them down with a hard tug. In one instant, he was exposed in front of me, the full mast of his passion jutting upward, and he wasn’t the slightest bit ashamed. That was another region where I’d forgotten about just how impressive he was.
I let go of his pants and put my hands on the bed beside me, the cotton sheets cool against my palm. Magic flew from my fingertips. It lifted him, spun him around, and tossed him onto the bed. His eyes widened and his eyebrows pulled together all at once. He’d never seen me with that much control of my magic.
Of course. Because, to him, this was coming out of nowhere and so unlike me. Unlike the me he knew when this memory took place. The last time this night happened, I was neither this forward nor this powerful. That didn’t matter, though. He seemed to enjoy it, which meant he was really going to enjoy what happened next.
Casting the smallest of spells on my fingertips, I made it so that everywhere I touched on the man would become an erogenous zone. Regardless of where my fingertips fell, Abram would feel more and more. He would get fuller and fuller, harder and harder, until finally he would burst in the most amazing way possible.
Climbing on top of him, I allowed my fingers to graze his legs.
“What?” He gasped, his entire body clenching. “What did you—”
“Just enjoy it,” I said, running my other hand up his leg and onto his abs. He jerked, his entire being shuddering with the contact.
Abram groaned beneath me, so low it was almost a growl. His hands slid along my thighs, over my hips, and up my sides until he reached my breasts. The intensity in his gaze sent a ripple of pleasure through my body as his thumbs rubbed across my nipples.
Abram didn’t need to use magic to turn me on. He was magic. Every inch of his body was made for mine and my pleasure.
Beneath me, his cock pressed against the underside of my thigh, and I lifted up to grab it gently and guide him to where we both needed him to be. He was so swollen with desire that his girth became ju
st a little too much to slide in easily. He moaned as he nudged against me, pushing in the tip and seemingly watching my expression to make sure I wasn’t in any pain. Just like he always did.
His thumbs rubbed against my nipples again, sending another shock of pleasure to my core as he pressed more, stretching me to get deeper.
I moaned, sliding down on him farther, determined that, this time, I would be the one to drive him crazy.
I missed his hands, his touch. I missed the way our bodies seems to crash together so perfectly. How fulfilled I felt in every way being around him.
As I started to grind against his body, his passion intensified. His teasing grazes against my nipple turned into light pinches. He moved one of his hands to my mouth, tracing his finger across my lip. I rolled my tongue around his finger and sucked, my mind flooding back to the memory of the blow job I’d given him back in New Haven.
Hunger flooded him anew, and his thrusts rose to match mine. He sat up and flipped me onto my back, grabbed my wrists, and pinned them over my head, growling. I should have expected it from him, and I nearly giggled.
He slowed down his thrusts to a teasing torture and dropped his lips to my neck, my collarbone, my nipples, taking his time until I was whimpering for more before he drove deeper into me.
Abram wasn’t some man disillusioned by internet sex; he knew how to make a women feel good. Knew how to grind his pelvis against that perfect spot as he filled me in ways I didn’t think were possible. He found that perfect stride that made me tense and moan until finally sending me over the edge, making me shudder on the edge of explosion.
As he released inside of me, I shattered. The first orgasm I’d felt from another person in a year rolled through my body and left me exhausted. I had never felt more alive, never felt more joined to another person in my life. I was with Abram. I was happy and free.
Maybe I could just stay here, in this moment. Forever. As I tried to think about how I could make it happen, I knew I was being stupid. There was no way that it could be.
I opened my eyes, spent and satisfied in the best way imaginable...until I felt the pull of the emptiness again. Everything around me fading until I was aware that it was only a memory. A shadow of one of the best nights in my entire life.
Just as quickly as I’d let myself get caught up in the memory, a cold dose of reality washed over me. None of this was actually in my control. It never had been. I was a pawn, a piece that had to be moved at exactly the right time, making it the right sacrifice for some bigger plan. Now, right now, it was time for me to take my leave. To get back to the real world, the current timeline. The place where everything sucked.
I had to do that, though, if I ever wanted a chance at what I’d just experienced to be real again.
I sighed, looking up at Abram, who was gazing down at me with a heady, half-lidded stare. After a moment, he dropped onto the bed beside me, his messy hair crushing in every direction against a flat white pillow.
Before I left, there were things I needed to tell him. Things that might not help anything, but that I needed to say for my sake, in case I would never actually see or speak to the real Abram again.
I needed to put a bookend on this in the event that this was the last chance I’d ever have.
The thought struck me like a blow to the chest. Suddenly I wanted to soak in every moment that I had. The soft orange glow of the bedside lamp light. The emerald green suede chair in the corner of the room and the rose wallpaper on the wall behind the bed. Our heavy duty bed-frame that looked so bulky in the otherwise feminine room, and the cheesy popcorn spray ceiling collecting dust that all the apartments in our area were known for. Everything around me that I’d taken for granted during the time that we had.
The twill of Abram’s dark-wash jeans. Abram’s shaded jaw, his dark eyes and hair, his tanned skin. His musky, sandalwood scent, the thick dark hair on his arms. His full lips, and that energy that was always buzzing beneath the surface whenever I was around him.
I didn’t want to forget a single detail. But I was running out of time to soak it all in. I could feel the present calling me back from the past, and I didn’t know how many more seconds I had of this happiness before it was all taken away from me.
“I love you,” I said frantically, rushing the words out.
I sat up, not even bothering to pull the comforter from the bottom of the bed to cover my body. That’s something old Charisse would have done. Something I might have still done, if I were going to say here. But I wasn’t. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t ashamed of my curves, I was still pretty shy about my body.
“You are the love of my life,” I continued, “and if everything goes to hell tomorrow, I want you to know I don’t regret a single second. If I could do it all over again, if I could take the ride just to take the fall, I would a thousand times. That’s how much you mean to me.”
“Charisse,” Abram said, sitting up to face me, his eyebrows pulling together. “What are you talking about? I love you, too, but there’s not going to be any fall. I would never let anything happen to you. I would never let anything happen to us. There is too much meant for us in this life. Nothing will ever come between us.”
In that moment, I believed him. Even though I knew better, even though I knew the way it was all going to turn out, I believed him. That’s how powerful he was, how powerful he’d always been.
“Just try to remember me,” I said, fighting back sobs that I hadn’t realized were there waiting on the edge of my mind. “Do your best. Try to remember me, no matter what happens.”
“Always, my love,” he said soothingly. “Always.”
As Abram spoke, the darkness took me, swallowing me whole and leaving nothing behind. I tried to fight it with everything I had in me, but my everything wasn’t enough. It pulled me deep and then spit me out back where I was in the first place.
Except when I arrived on the “other side,” things had changed. The table I was sitting at had been cleared of food, and the fading sun had been replaced by the night sky shining brightly through the windows.
Ramsey was sitting in front of me, his eyes heavy and his hair a mess while he stared at me.
“What?” I croaked, my throat dry and cracking. “What happened?”
My head was pounding, and I couldn’t stop shaking.
“It’s Abram,” Ramsey said softly, looking up at me. “Something’s wrong.”
Chapter 11
Ramsey’s words brought me to my knees. It’s Abram. Something’s wrong.
The moment of pleasure I had just experienced in his arms was shattered by this harsh revelation. Being sucked back into this world—this dark and twisted Abram-free place—would have been hard enough. Knowing that something was wrong, knowing that the spell Ramsey had cast using my Supplicant blood and powered by my Conduit magic, had backfired… It was enough to send me running for the hills, or the blankets on my bed that I could cuddle up in and pretend nothing was wrong.
“Do you need some water?” Ramsey asked, exhaustion coloring both his face and his voice.
One look at him was enough to tell me that, while I had been having the time of my life, Ramsey had been going through the fight of his. My heart went out to him, but the truth was that I needed more than just something to drink. I needed to know what was going on. I had to know exactly what was going on if I was going to be able to do anything about it. I needed information to make a plan.
I took a deep breath, readying myself for anything but expecting the worst. More than anything, I wished that I could go back in time, just a few minutes, and kiss Abram one more time.
“What happened?” I asked tentatively. “What happened to ruin the spell? Whatever it is, can we undo it?”
Even speaking was taking its toll, and I felt dizzy with the exertion of rushing those words out. I closed my eyes, hoping to get a little bit of a break from the lights that were spinning, and Ramsey, who wouldn’t tell me what I wanted to know.
The idea that this might be the end came popping into my head unexpectedly.
Not the end of my life, no. Worse than that would be the end of everything that I had held onto for the past year. Abram. Our life together. The life he swore we would have, and the one that he gave up his very essence to protect.
I knew I was kidding myself when I’d stayed up late and dreamt of him living a life away from me. Hell, when he’d left me, I knew he was leaving me to die. He was leaving to keep me safe, to keep me away from the magic that was eating at him from the inside out. The magic and darkness that were bound to destroy him. Only now, I was having to face the fact that I might have made it worse.
What if the spell had backfired to such an extent that Abram was dead and gone? What if Ramsey had not only destroyed the pieces of Abram’s mind that were left floating in there, but killed his body as well? Would I be able to live with that: a truly Abram-free world?
Knowing that I wouldn’t, I leaned forward and started hyperventilating. I couldn’t do this.
“I knew you needed water,” he chided while shaking his head. “The spell you were just under can be tough, and it wreaks havoc on the body,” Ramsey said, while getting up and rushing to the sink.
I stared at him blankly as he fumbled around the kitchen for the glasses. If it were any other time, I could joke and make comments about how he needed to spend more time in the kitchen. Right now, though, I wanted to scream in frustration.
If I wasn’t feeling so miserable from being in the pocket dimension and then getting sucked back, I’d get up and force him to pay attention to me. As it was, I wouldn’t be able to get him to do much of anything. I’d had a year’s worth of experience in trying to get him off his train of thought. It didn’t work well. Almost ever.
He turned on the tap and stuck a glass that he’d finally found above the sink under the current as I gathered myself, pushing the sickness down and trying to focus. It was a lot harder than it should have been, and the sound of the sink running made me want to hit Ramsey upside the head with a baseball bat.
Granted by the Beast: A Steamy Paranormal Romance Spin on Beauty and the Beast (Conduit Series Book 4) Page 8
