On the other hand… I hadn’t told her anything about the ‘agreement’ with Andrew. It was the first real secret that I had kept from her since we had met back in junior high.
I didn’t know what to tell her.
Leah wouldn’t judge me for getting pregnant. I knew she wouldn’t.
But how, exactly, was I supposed to explain it to her?
I wasn’t even sure myself, why I had done it.
No. That wasn’t true.
I knew why. I had wanted the chance to be fucked by my boss, however briefly that opportunity would end up being, and I’d relished the thought of having a permanent part of him with me forever.
Maybe I should have thought harder about the consequences of such a thing, but at the time…
We were scheduled to meet at our favorite restaurant. A little shop that was barely more than hole in the wall yet served the best carne asada fries in the Springs.
At least, Leah and I had always thought they were.
The place was pretty busy for a Sunday, especially around the small bar that was in the center of the room.
“Emma!” Leah waved at me from our usual table, tucked into a corner close to the kitchen. She made the gesture with her left hand, which was odd. She wasn’t left-handed.
And then I saw it.
The unmistakable sparkle of a diamond. On her ring finger.
I laughed as I hugged her. “Gee, were you trying to show me something?”
Her eyes gleamed and her smile was nearly as brilliant as the gemstone. “Sawyer surprised me with it last night.”
“He moves fast.” They had only been seeing each other, if it could be called that, for six months. I’d gathered from her text messages over that time that there had been no real discussion of feelings.
Or commitment.
And yet here was proof of both.
“It’s part of his way of making up for what an asshole he was in high school.”
I raised a brow at that. Leah had had a crush on Sawyer when we were in junior high, but then that crush had quickly morphed into something she had called hate. Mainly because of the way his friends had always made fun of her, but the fact that she and Sawyer had been arguing about anything and everything all the time had something else to do with it too.
Though in Leah’s case, I had always suspected that her anger—her willingness to fight with him—had been a cover for the attraction she had never quite been able to get over.
It had been at our class reunion, six months ago, when things had finally exploded into this current direction. “I assume you said yes.”
Leah nodded and we took our seats. She was fidgeting, brimming over with nervous energy. “I haven’t even told my parents yet. I wanted you to be the first. I figured you’ll need as much notice as possible to get the time off to be my maid of honor, with that boss of yours.”
My stomach churned at the way she said those last words. I had never spoken badly of Andrew to her. I couldn’t speak that way of him to anyone. But she’d obviously read more into what I had told her than was said aloud. “He… he’s not that bad.”
“Emma.”
Now I really didn’t know what to tell her. It was likely that she would think Andrew was taking advantage of his position as my boss, if I told her that I was pregnant by him. Never mind the fact…
A group of men sitting at the bar caught my attention. One of them looked so much like Andrew, I nearly gasped out loud.
But, no.
It couldn’t be him. I’d just been thinking about him too much, seeing him in places where he would never be.
It was Andrew.
He was dressed in jeans and t-shirt and looked so different from what I was used to. As good as ever, perhaps even more so, and yet….
It was funny, now that I thought about it. I had only ever seen him in a suit or completely naked. Two extremes with nothing in between. During the time I’d spent in his condo, there had been no reason to wear clothes.
He appeared to be with a group of men roughly his age and looked relaxed in a way that I had rarely ever seen him.
Laughing.
He was actually laughing.
There was one woman in the group. She said something to one of the men, then took a seat.
On Andrew’s lap.
I turned away, but it was too late. That image would be emblazoned in my mind forever. My stomach lurched. I covered my mouth with one hand and made a run for the bathroom.
I knew it wasn’t actually possible for my heart to shatter in a million pieces, but that was exactly how it felt like right now.
I had tried to prepare myself for this.
Had told myself that it was only a matter of time before he moved on. Without me.
I slipped into the restroom and locked myself into a stall as my stomach threatened to turn itself inside out.
This wasn’t morning sickness.
It was… it was my heart trying to explode out of my body, so that it could further dissolve into dust.
Breaking in a way that it meant would never be whole again.
Because I had become the worst sort of cliché of all. Beyond even what I had originally feared that I would be.
I was in love with my boss.
With Andrew.
With a man who could never love me back. Because…
There was a knock on the stall door. “Em?” It was Leah. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” Even now, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. Not all of it, anyway. I staggered out of the stall and rinsed the foul taste out of my mouth. “Morning sickness. Or afternoon, I guess.”
“You’re pregnant?”
I nodded.
“How… I didn’t even know you were—”
I held up one hand. “It’s complicated.” Even more so now than before. My stomach threatened to revolt again. “I’ll tell you the whole story eventually, but right now… I just can’t. I’m sorry.”
She gave me a long, considering look and I had to resist the urge to squirm under her gaze. “I guess you don’t feel like eating, then. Especially not spicy food.”
Oh, I’d lost my appetite, all right. But not for the reason that she was saying. “I thought I could do this, but…”
“It’s okay. Really. Do you want to go somewhere else?”
“I really don’t feel up to it.”
“That’s fine. I’ll go settle my bill for my drink while you get cleaned up here. Then I’ll take you home.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do.” She gave me a stern glare. “And we’re stopping by the store on the way, to make sure you have things at your place that you actually can eat.”
I didn’t know how I would ever have an appetite ever again at the moment, but I also knew better than to try to argue with her. I’d never been very good with conflict, especially against someone who knew me as well as she did. “I’ll meet you outside. Okay?”
She nodded, then left. I rinsed my mouth out again and splashed water on my pale face. Braced my hands against the sink as my legs wobbled.
I had to do this.
I had to get out of here.
Took a deep breath, lowered my head, and scurried out of the restaurant like the mouse that everyone at the office had always said I was.
I didn’t think Andrew saw me. He was probably too wrapped up in the woman on his lap to notice anything or anyone else.
She was too exquisite.
Too perfect.
There was no way I could compete.
Andrew wouldn’t want me to fight for him, anyway.
Once I was back in my apartment, I paced like a caged tiger after I sent Leah away. Breathing too fast and having to stop every once in a while, to hold on to the wall as my world spun out of control.
Finally, I went to my laptop and flipped it open.
It wasn’t my work machine. I didn’t have need for one, since I rarely had to bring any of that home with me.
I typed out a quick document, not paying much attention to formal formatting or anything else. My fingers slipping more than once, though at least the auto-correct appeared to be on my side rather than tormenting me with strange assumptions about what I was trying to say.
What I needed to do.
I was tempted to send it by email. But I had a vague recollection that my original employment contract had said that this needed to be done with a hard copy. On paper.
I told myself that once I had given it to him, things would be easier.
I could begin counting the days left before he was out of my life. Mostly. There was one link with him that could never be broken now, even if I wanted to.
But the daily torment of seeing him, of wondering… that would soon be over.
It was, ultimately, taking the coward’s way out. But I didn’t have the strength to be brave.
Not when it came to him.
Not any longer.
Chapter Ten (Andrew)
Emma stepped into my office, and it was obvious that she was trying to avoid my gaze. Her shoulders were hunched, and her head was down, as if she was trying to make herself smaller.
Or as if she thought she could make herself invisible.
I tightened my hands on the arms of my chair to keep from reaching from her. To show her just how much I really did see her.
I didn’t know how to touch her any longer.
That damned test.
I had stared at the photo that she’d sent me for a very long time, hoping that I was just seeing things. Though a part of me had been rather… thrilled wasn’t the right word. ‘Proud’ might be closer. A kind of basic, masculine pride that I had succeeded in planting my seed in my fertile woman.
But that meant that I couldn’t be with her again.
She’d been acting strange ever since the last time she was in my bed. I had the sense that she was almost glad to have that part over with, though it had been clear that she’d enjoyed the pleasure she’d found in my arms.
I’d certainly done my best to make her come, as much as possible.
Even while I was supposed to be focused on knocking her up, I had wanted to do more. To make her want more than what we had agreed to.
That she might enjoy herself enough to want to come to my bed again.
I slashed a hand through my hair and tried to ignore the way that my cock throbbed when she stepped toward my desk. Fuck, she was so beautiful. Now that I knew how soft her skin was under my hands, how she would taste in my mouth, I felt like I was constantly a heartbeat away from giving in to my needs.
To bending her over my desk, just as I had the first time, and plunging my constantly rock-hard cock deep into her tight, wet pussy.
I tried to distract myself from such thoughts by focusing on her face.
And the shadows I saw in her eyes hit me like a punch to the gut. “Are you all right?”
She stiffened. “Of course I am, sir.”
I could grow to hate hearing her call me that, if I didn’t hate it already. But the door to my office was partly open, which meant that we could potentially be overheard. I wondered if she had done that on purpose.
“Here’s your coffee,” she said quietly, her voice flat yet efficient. “And your messages. Did you need anything else?”
Her. I needed her. But I couldn’t say that out loud, of course.
I had promised her that no one in the office would know that she and I had ever been… more than boss and assistant. And if that was what she truly wanted, then I was going to do my best to keep that promise.
No matter how much it felt like it would kill me.
I let my gaze drop to the papers that she had left on my desk. Most were the smaller yellow papers that she used to write down phone messages, but there was a larger one too.
It looked like a letter.
No. Not just a letter. A resignation.
Her resignation. “What the hell is this?”
She was nearly out the door but paused. Did not turn. “I thought it the best thing to do, sir. Under the circumstances.”
“Circumstances?”
She turned slightly, but kept her gaze locked on the floor rather than looking at me. “I think it will be easier to explain things to your new girlfriend, if I’m not around all the time as a reminder to her.”
“My what?”
“I saw you yesterday. At lunch, though I guess you did not see me, sir.” Her smile was tight and cold and didn’t reach her eyes. Which were red and swollen, almost as if she’d had a sleepless night—or had been crying. “She’s very beautiful and I hope you two will be very happy together.”
It took me a moment to realize just what she had been talking about. After I’d received her texts about the pregnancy test, I had been called out to an impromptu reunion with several of the guys I’d gone to college with. One of them had his younger sister with him, who had only just finished college herself and as a joke, she’d jumped onto my lap in the middle of the restaurant.
I hadn’t thought anything of it at the time.
Hell, even my buddy Eric, who was about as overprotective an older brother as it was possible to be, had laughed at his sister’s antics. He’d said that he didn’t have to worry about me. That he knew his little sister was safe, because it was obvious that I was already taken by someone else.
I had laughed at that last part as much as any of the guys. So convinced that every single one of them had been wrong about me.
Well, about being taken, anyway. I would never have touched Eric’s sister, under any circumstances.
Still, I had taken it all as a joke.
Every one of them knew how dedicated I was to my job. How I had been focusing almost every bit of my time and energy on this company ever since we had graduated—and long before that too. I’d worked summers and during our spring breaks, giving over every bit of my free time to prove myself to the old man I’d had to live with after my parents died.
Work was my life. Had been for more than half my life. I had doubted that any of my friends would expect that to change. And I had certainly never mentioned anything about the will. Or Emma.
Emma…
She was walking away from me now. Though her chin was held high, I could tell that she was trembling.
Shaking.
“Wait.”
For the first time ever, she disobeyed me. Kept walking.
I was losing her.
Oh, fuck.
I couldn’t lose her. I wasn’t just thinking about her as my assistant. Or even as the woman I’d enjoyed fucking.
I wasn’t just obsessed with her. Addicted to her, as I’d started to think.
I was in love with her.
I should have realized the truth sooner. Long before my buddies had seen something in me that I hadn’t seen in myself. “Idiot!”
There was no way she would ever let herself be alone with me now. She would never give me a chance to explain. I could see her plan as clearly as if she’d spelled it out with words. She was going to quit, and while she was forced to be around me, she was going to use the others in the office as a shield.
Depending on my promise of secrecy to protect her.
From me.
To hell with secrets. With being ‘discreet.’
I wasn’t going to let her go. Not now. Not ever.
She was mine.
I rose from my desk and rushed after her. Ignoring the startled gasps from the gossiping ladies as I stormed past them.
Only one person mattered.
I caught Emma by the arm and spun her about to face me. I could have said everything to her then. Could have tried to explain.
But I knew words wouldn’t be enough.
And it had been too damned long since I had touched her.
So I dragged her into my arms and bent to claim her mouth. I expected her to stiffen and maybe to try to push me away.
But she didn’t.
With a soft cry, she k
issed me back. As if she was as helpless in this need that burned between us, as I was.
That was what I was hoping, at least.
I could work with that.
I lifted my head and ran my hand along the side of her cheek, savoring the silky feel of her skin under my fingers. “Come on, sweetheart,” I said. Taking her by the hand, I led her past the group, most of whom were staring at us with their mouths hanging open. “We need to talk.”
Chapter Eleven (Emma)
His kiss must have scrambled my brains. Melted them.
That was the only reason why I wasn’t pulling away. Why I didn’t put up any resistance as he led me back into his office.
Or maybe I had been just as shocked by his public display as everyone else. He had promised…
Andrew shut and locked the door behind us.
Pulled me into his arms once more.
Oh, it felt so good to be touched by him again. But I was being weak, and foolish, and I really needed answers. “I don’t understand. I thought—”
His smile was tender. “What you saw yesterday. It wasn’t what you thought.”
I tried to twist out of his arms, even as my stomach twisted at the memory of that other woman. “It doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business anyway.”
“What if I want you to make it your business?”
“I…” My breath caught and I thought my heart might actually have stopped. I couldn’t feel it anyway. I couldn’t feel anything except for his strong hands on my face, as he cupped them around my cheeks, and his soft lips grazing against mine once more.
“After you texted me yesterday, I got a call from some college friends who wanted to get together. The woman you saw? She’s the kid sister of one of my buddies. What happened was a joke. She was trying to provoke her very overprotective big brother.”
“Trying to?”
“It didn’t work,” he said softly. “He said that he knew his sister would be safe with me, because he could tell that I was crazy about someone else.”
I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming. But as much as I wanted to believe in the fantasy, a part of me held back. “Someone else?”
“You, sweetheart.” He punctuated the words with a kiss to my forehead. That should have been the most innocent of gestures, and yet there was something even more intimate about it in a strange way too. “I’m yours, Emma.” He hesitated, and for the first time in all of the years I’d known him, Andrew actually looked uncertain. “If you want me.”
A Baby for the Beastly Boss Page 6
