by Martin, R. C
“That was—that was so, so good,” she panted.
“I think good is a bit of an understatement, baby,” I breathed.
“Yeah,” she giggled, squirming against me with the act. “I just can’t think of any other words right now.”
“Fair.”
Neither of us moved for a couple minutes, in no rush to abandon our silent, post-coital state of being. Teddy was the first to speak, muttering only one word.
“Coffee.”
“That can be arranged.”
“Shower?”
“Mmhmm,” I grunted.
“Together?”
“Preferably,” I mumbled with a smirk.
I could hear her smile when she replied, “Breakfast?”
Aware that our options were the restaurant we skipped out on the night before, the coffee shop downstairs, or the items on the menu resting atop the nightstand beside me, I answered, “Room service.”
Finally lifting her head, Teddy found my eyes with her own and murmured, “In that order?”
“You tell me.”
She thought for a moment, then touched her lips to mine and rolled off of me. “In that order,” she confirmed.
We both got out of bed. While Teddy disappeared into the bathroom, I put on the slacks I wore on our drive up—not bothering with the top button. As I stepped out of the bedroom, I noticed how the sun shone through the curtains in the living room. While I had checked the weather a couple days prior and knew the forecast was expected to be exceptional, even a small glimpse of what our day would hold came with the comfort found only in proof.
Teddy joined me in the kitchen just as I finished brewing her mug of coffee. She was wrapped in the button-up shirt I wore the night before—not one of the buttons actually fastened. As she reached for her steaming beverage, the flaps of the shirt opened, and a rush of blood headed for my groin in remembrance of what we’d done not even ten minutes prior.
“Aren’t you going to have some?” she asked over the rim of her mug, staring at me unsuspectingly.
I took one last look at her pale, naked and inked skin, then smiled to myself as I thought, Yeah, sweetheart—I’m going to have some, just as soon as I get you in the shower.
Forcing myself to focus on the task at hand, I loaded the coffee maker with another cup and commanded another serving.
“Hey, Jude?” beckoned Teddy subtly. I glanced her way, and she hesitated before she inquired, “What are the chances I could get you to skip your shave today?”
“Why?”
She shrugged, peered into her coffee mug and murmured, “It’s just us. And I kind of like the way you look first thing in the morning—a little less clean cut or official and a little more…”
Reaching across the small space which separated us, I slid a finger beneath her chin and coaxed her head up until she looked at me. “More what?”
“Sexy,” she said with a blush. “And rough around the edges,” she whispered.
I hesitated for only a moment. When I took her coffee from her hands and set it on the counter beside her, Teddy gaped at me. She started to protest, but with her hand in mine, I escorted her toward the master bathroom and informed her, “You can have more coffee with breakfast. It’s time for that shower.”
Two hours later, after we fucked and bathed, then dressed and ate, we were finally ready to leave our suite for the hike I promised my woman. Having arranged a pre-packed picnic lunch with our reservation, we only had one stop to make before we headed for the hills. As we made our way to the hotel lobby, Teddy wore her camera strapped across her back and the most beautiful, contented, nonchalant smile I had ever seen on anyone. For reasons I couldn’t explain, I reheard the last thing Geoffrey said to me at the gallery the day before.
You make her joyful. It’s more than happiness.
Looking at her then, I thought I understood what he meant. But it wasn’t because of the expression on her face. It was the contentment I felt. Against my will and my better judgment, I had allowed her to become more than a choice—and I didn’t care.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Theodora stared silently out the passenger side window, watching as dusk settled while she tried desperately to hold on to the best parts of their weekend. Two nights prior, Harper griped Theodora was about to embark on the most romantic weekend of her life—and she wasn’t wrong. As they drove over the invisible border of Fort Collins, it felt like she was leaving a dream world.
It wasn’t just the mountain peaks, the gorgeous autumn colors, or the perfect weather. It wasn’t merely the extravagant hotel, the noteworthy accommodations, or the escape from everyday life. It was Judah—his presence, his conversation, his affection, his attention. Theodora felt so spoiled and loved. He hadn’t said the words. Not yet. But she was convinced he felt them; she was satisfied to wait for them. If patience was what she owed him for all he gave her, she was buoyed by it. It kept her afloat as the memory of their short getaway filled her lungs with as much hope as air.
She could hardly wait to upload all the photographs she took onto her computer. She had snapped hundreds. While she knew it would take her hours to sort through them, Theodora was confident she captured a few gems. Her confidence was fueled by the praise Judah had given her when he peeked over her shoulder a time or two on their hike. Though, as anxious as she was to see the images, when they arrived at her apartment complex, the thought of spending the night alone with her computer shot a pang of sadness straight to her gut.
Judah climbed out of the driver’s seat, and Theodora was quick to meet him at the trunk of his Mercedes. When he reached inside for her bag, she reached for his. He paused to look at her, as she thought he might. She let his leather duffel dangle in front of her and stared up at him.
“I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. I don’t want the weekend to be over. Will you stay?”
“Sweetheart, I’ve been unplugged most of the last two and a half days. I need to—”
“Check your emails, I won’t stop you,” she insisted, taking a step toward him. “You can even use my computer if you want. I’ll order us dinner, and we can go to bed early—please, stay.”
He considered her words only a second, and then he reached for his bag. Securing the strap over his shoulder, he leaned down and pressed his mouth to Theodora’s. She smiled against his lips, and he mumbled, “No pizza.”
Giggling victoriously, she replied, “Deal.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
My phone rang from atop Teddy’s nightstand early Monday morning. Pulling in a sharp breath, I propped myself up on my elbow and searched the room to get my bearings. The woman whose queen bed I occupied was curled up close to me, in my old Cubs t-shirt. Her hair was in a fallen ponytail, spread out over her pillow, but completely out of her face. She looked peaceful and completely lost in slumber, not at all bothered by my ringing phone. Still determined not to wake her, I reached back for the device and sighed as I swept my thumb across the screen.
“Hello?” I grumbled softly.
“Beaver Creek, huh?” said Benjamin in greeting.
I ran my hand down the length of my face and replied, “It’s a little early to be calling to give me shit, isn’t it?”
“The Ritz, brother? Really? Come on. You’re making my girl jealous.”
“Sounds like a personal problem to me,” I countered through a smirk. I then repositioned myself until my back was leaned against my pillow.
He chuckled, and I yawned, wondering why he’d called me before my six o’clock alarm.
I didn’t get a chance to ask before he said, “My big brother is in love.”
“I don’t fall in love,” I muttered with a frown.
Glancing down at Teddy, I couldn’t be sure if I was telling the truth or not—but it was my truth; it was my choice and my reality. She may have turned me into her fool, but I was still me.
“Is there a reason why you’re calling?”
“Bullshit, you don’t fall in love
,” Benjamin scoffed, ignoring my question. “You’ve gone above and beyond for that woman. An entire weekend away? With no work? Not to mention, you’re introducing her to mom and dad—wake up, brother. You’re in love.”
I shifted my attention across the room and scowled at nothing. “Who told you I was introducing her to mom and Samuel?” I asked.
“Mom. Who else? Anyway, that’s why I’m calling. I told Harper, and she wants to crash.”
I reached up to rake my fingers through my hair, gripping the strands at the top of my head as I thought about his proposal. “That’s not a bad idea. Having Harper there might make Teddy less nervous.”
“All right. I guess we’ll see you Saturday.” He paused for a moment and then added, “You do realize, for a man who doesn’t fall in love, your actions scream of commitment, don’t you? You’ve met her parents, Jude. She’s about to meet ours. Hell, I’m in love with Harper, but the only reason she’s meeting mom is because apparently we have to keep up with the two of you.”
“You seem to put a lot of weight on the significance of meeting parents. It’s this, or listen to mom badger me about it until I give in.”
“How is it that I have to remind you you’ve never brought a woman home before?” Benjamin replied on a laugh.
I lowered my voice into an impatient whisper and shot back, “Ben—if I brought home every woman who has ever shared my bed, our mother might disown me.”
“I’ll give you that. But it still sounds to me like you’re suffering from a classic case of denial.”
“It’s not denial. It’s acceptance. The other shoe will drop. And when it does, I’ll be ready.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The nature of people,” I murmured. My gaze drifted back toward the exceptional beauty beside me. “We all change. It’s only human. I do not expect Teddy to be an exception.”
“Jude, you’re talking in riddles. What are you saying?”
“Nothing,” I muttered. I didn’t want to think about the future. “It doesn’t matter.”
Benjamin sighed, and I could practically see his scrunched brow. “Look, I know you’re older and supposedly wiser or whatever, but I know a thing or two about love. It’s precious. It’s not to be taken for granted, and it’s certainly not be resisted. It’s a gift, brother.
“I know you have some sort of aversion to attachment, but there’s only one Teddy. Fuck around as much as you want, but you’ll never be able to find another like her. You want her. It’s obvious that much is true. So, if I were you, I’d stop waiting for this other shoe to drop, and admit how I felt. You might lose her if you don’t.”
I shook my head, hardly mindful that Benjamin wasn’t in the room to see me do it. It was Monday morning, and I was in Teddy’s bed upon request. If that wasn’t evidence enough, I could list countless others which filled me with the confidence that whatever my brother was talking about, it didn’t apply to our situation. I wasn’t going to lose Teddy. What we had might have come with an expiration date, but everything had its natural end, and I knew ours wasn’t going to be any time soon.
“No one is losing anyone. She’s not going anywhere, Ben.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth than my phone began to vibrate with my scheduled alarm. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you Saturday.”
“Sure. Yeah. See you then.”
We disconnected and I silenced my alarm, lingering a moment longer between the sheets. I watched Teddy sleep as I replayed my brother’s words in my head. It wasn’t necessarily intentional so much as it was unavoidable; my mind latched on to what it could for leverage while I came out of sleep fully. I didn’t want to believe a word he said. I didn’t want to admit to anything. The space in which Teddy and I existed was almost perfect in a way I couldn’t explain. To make it more or less would demolish whatever balance we found in the give and take of our relationship. That wasn’t a risk I was willing to make.
I got out of bed and gathered what I needed for a shower. I needed to head home for a change of clothes, but I hoped to be in and out as quickly as possible. There was no doubt my routine was off, especially given how I spent the weekend, but it was worth it; even more, I was hoping an early start at the office would kickstart my week the way I needed.
Teddy was still sleeping by the time I was washed and dressed. With my bag by the door and my shoes on my feet, I leaned over her sleeping figure and pressed my lips beside her ear. After a quick kiss, I whispered, “Teddy, I’ve got to go. Do you hear me?”
She hummed noncommittally. I gently pinched her earlobe between my teeth before I tried once more.
“Sweetheart?”
This time, she pulled in a deep breath and sighed before she mumbled, “What time is it?”
“Six-thirty. I’ve got to go. Text me later.”
Teddy nodded but still didn’t bother to open her eyes as she pulled the blanket on top of her closer. “I will. I love you.”
She breathed the words, as if how she felt was so embedded within her, it ran through her veins—the chemical reaction which turned oxygen into carbon dioxide assisted by her sentiments and breathed out as a release of its own effort. Again, I thought of Benjamin’s warning, and I was reassured I had nothing to worry about.
“Tell me again tomorrow,” I whispered.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I missed you last night…
Theodora stared down at the unsent text. Her thumb hovered over the blue arrow that would catapult her ache for Judah across town, where she was sure he was busy at work. She hesitated not because she was afraid of telling him the truth, but because she was afraid of how the truth might paint her. After three nights in Judah’s arms, she wondered if it made her needy to miss him so desperately after only one night apart.
She set the phone down but continued to stare at the screen, wondering if it was her hormones that were to blame. Her cycle started that morning; and while that was reason enough to stay out of Judah’s bed for a few nights, the longing she battled even thinking about another night alone in her bed caused a disappointment so poignant, she could hardly think of anything else.
“You know, you can stare at that thing all you want, but it’s never going to read your mind. You have to tell it what to do,” said Geoffrey as he occupied the seat beside her. “Well, at least that’s true today. Give it a decade and who knows.”
Theodora was quick to black out her screen. She then straightened her spine and looked to him in confusion. “What?”
“Never mind,” he chuckled. He studied her for a second and queried, “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Running her fingers through her locks, she willed herself to be fully present in the time and space she occupied. “Yeah. I’m fine. Maybe a little tired.”
“Is it Andy? I know he’s put a lot on your plate, but it’s only for a few more days and then—”
“No, no,” she interrupted. “Andy’s fine. Preoccupied, busy, and anxious, but I can handle it.” Theodora shrugged, glanced at her phone, and admitted, “I had a hard time falling asleep last night, that’s all.”
“Let me guess, no boyfriend pillow?”
Theodora smiled, somehow comforted by the ways in which Geoffrey understood her so naturally. “No boyfriend pillow,” she confirmed.
“I know the feeling. But you,” he paused and nudged her knee with his own, “can do something about that.”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I don’t want to be needy or clingy or—or whatever other unattractive adjective you can insert before girlfriend. Anyway, I’m not the only one who can do something about my lonely nights. Have you thought about putting yourself out there again? It’s been a few months.”
“We’ve got this exhibition coming up. I’ve got enough on my plate right now.”
Theodora tossed a knowing glare his direction. “That’s an excuse.”
“This coming from the woman who thinks she’s being needy by simply telling her boyfriend she misses him.” He l
ifted his eyebrows challengingly, then winked as he stood to his feet. “You’re one of the smartest, most independent women I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. You’re not needy, you’re in love. And I’m not making excuses, I’m busy.”
He turned to walk away, and she called out, “That is to an excuse.”
She heard him laugh under his breath, and it made her smile. They both knew she was right, but he somehow won their little debate, anyway. Well aware he wasn’t the only one who had business to see to, Theodora decided to stop thinking about missing Judah and admit it. She unlocked the screen of her phone, hit send, and then shoved the device aside in favor of her responsibilities. It was nearly an hour later before she got a reply, but she was quick to stop what she was doing in order to read it.
JS: My place tonight?
Me: I would love that. But…I got my period this morning.
JS: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: I don’t know.
Me: I just thought…
Me: I don’t know.
JS: My place. Tonight.
Theodora was still basking in her relief and excitement when he sent another reply.
JS: Still playing catch-up. Might have to work a bit.
Me: I’ll bring my laptop. I’ll work on some photos.
JS: I’ll leave the door open.
Sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, Theodora attempted to stifle the overwhelming sense of happiness she felt. While part of her knew it was silly to be so excited to do something as habitual as sharing a night with her boyfriend, the thought of spending an ordinary night with the man she thought of almost ceaselessly brought about a contentment no one had ever been able to give her before. With her evening plans made, she set aside her phone and lost herself in her tasks, chasing the end of the day with all her might.
When it was time for Theodora to take her lunch, she opted to make a quick trip home. By the time she packed what she thought she needed for the evening, she only had time for a handful of wheat crackers before she was headed back to the gallery. Hungry as she was as the afternoon went on, she didn’t grumble. Instead, she made calls for Andrew, confirmed caterer details, and did a little online research for places she might be able to rent a dress for the black-tie affair to be hosted at Mountain Time Art the Friday after next.
