Bedside Manner

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by Joseph Samachson

speak once more.

  "We have been working on you," said the voice. "You are coming alongnicely."

  "Am I--am I--" she found difficulty asking: "How do I look?"

  "Incomplete."

  "I must be horrible."

  A slight pause. "No. Not horrible at all. Not to me. Merely incomplete."

  "My husband wouldn't think so."

  "I do not know what your husband would think. Perhaps he is not used toseeing incomplete persons. He might even be horrified at the sight ofhimself."

  "I--I hadn't thought of that. But he--we'll both be all right?"

  "As a medical problem, you offer no insuperable difficulty. None atall."

  "Why--why don't you give me eyes, if you can? Are you afraid--afraidthat I might see you and find you--terrifying?"

  * * * * *

  Again a pause. There was amusement in the reply. "I do not think so. No,that is not the reason."

  "Then it's because--as you said about Fred--I might find myselfhorrifying?"

  "That is part of the reason. Not the major part, however. You see, I am,in a way, experimenting. Do not be alarmed, please--I shall not turn youinto a monster. I have too much knowledge of biology for that. But I amnot too familiar with human beings. What I know I have learned mostlyfrom your books, and I have found that in certain respects there areinaccuracies contained in them--I must go slowly until I can check whatthey say. I might mend certain organs, and then discover that they donot have the proper size or shape, or that they produce slightly alteredhormones. I do not want to make such mistakes, and if I do make them, Iwish to correct them before they can do harm."

  "There's no danger--?"

  "None, I assure you. Internally and externally, you will be as before."

  "Internally and externally. Will I--will I be able to have children?"

  "Yes. We ourselves do not have your distinctions of sex, but we arefamiliar with them in many other races. We know how important youconsider them. I am taking care to see that the proper glandular balanceis maintained in both yourself and your husband."

  "Thank you--Doctor. But I still don't understand--why don't you give meeyes right away?"

  "I do not wish to give you eyes that see imperfectly, and then be forcedto take them away. Nor do I want you to watch imperfect arms and legsdeveloping. It would be an unnecessary ordeal. When I am sure thateverything is as it should be, then I shall start your eyes."

  "And my husband--"

  "He will be reconstructed in the same way. He will be brought in to talkto you soon."

  "And you don't want either of us to see the other in--in imperfectcondition?"

  "It would be inadvisable. I can assure you now that when I havecompleted your treatment you will almost exactly be as you were in thebeginning. When that time comes, you will be able to use your eyes."

  She was silent a moment.

  He said, "Your husband had other questions. I am waiting to hear you askthem too."

  "I'm sorry, Doctor ... I wasn't listening. What did you say?"

  * * * * *

  He repeated his remarks, and she said, "I do have other questions.But--no, I won't ask them yet. What did my husband want to know?"

  "About me and my race. How we happened to find you in time to save you._Why_ we saved you. What we intend to do with you after you arereconstructed."

  "Yes, I've wondered about those things too."

  "I can give you only a partial answer. I hope you do not find it toounsatisfactory. My race, as you may have gathered, is somewhat moreadvanced than yours. We have had a head start," he added politely.

  "If you can grow new arms and legs and eyes," she said, "you must bethousands of years ahead of us."

  "We can do many other things, of which there is no need to talk. All Ineed say now is that I am a physician attached to a scouting expedition.We have had previous contact with human beings, and have taken pains toavoid coming to their attention. We do not want to alarm or confusethem."

  "But all the same, you rescued us."

  "It was an emergency. We are not human, but we have, you might say,humanitarian feelings. We do not like to see creatures die, eveninferior creatures--not that you are, of course," he added delicately."Our ship happened to be only a few thousand miles away when ithappened. We saw, and acted with great speed. Once you are whole again,we shall place you where you will be found by your own kind, and proceedon our way. By that time, our expedition will have been completed."

  "When we are whole again--Doctor, will I be exactly the same as before?"

  "In some ways, perhaps even better. I can assure you that all yourorgans will function perfectly."

  "I don't mean that. I mean--will I look the same?"

  She felt that there was astonishment in the pause. "Look the same? Doesthat matter?"

  "Yes ... oh, yes, it matters! It matters more than anything else."

  He must have been regarding her as if she were crazy. Suddenly she wasglad that she had no eyes to see his bewilderment. And his contempt,which, she was sure, must be there too.

  He said slowly, "I didn't realize. But, of course, we don't know how youdid look. How can we make you look the same?"

  "I don't know. But you must! You must!" Her voice rose, and she felt thepain in her throat as the new muscles constricted.

  "You are getting hysterical," he said. "Stop thinking about this."

  "But I can't stop thinking about it. It's the only thing I _can_ thinkof! I don't want to look any different from the way I did before!"

  He said nothing, and suddenly she felt tired. A moment before she hadbeen so excited, so upset; and now--merely tired and sleepy. She wantedto go to sleep and forget it all. _He must have given me a sedative_,she thought. _An injection? I didn't feel the prick of the needle, butmaybe they don't use needles. Anyway, I'm glad he did. Because now Iwon't have to think, I won't be able to think--_

  * * * * *

  She slept. When she awoke again, she heard a new voice. A voice shecouldn't place. It said, "Hello, Margaret. Where are you?"

  "Who ... Fred!"

  "Margaret?"

  "Y-yes."

  "Your voice is different."

  "So is yours. At first I couldn't think who was speaking to me!"

  "It's strange it took us so long to realize that our voices would bedifferent."

  She said shakily, "We're more accustomed to thinking of how we look."

  He was silent. His mind had been on the same thing.

  "Your new voice isn't bad, Fred," she said after a moment. "I like it.It's a little deeper, a little more resonant. It will go well with yourpersonality. The Doctor has done a good job."

  "I'm trying to think whether I like yours. I don't know. I suppose I'mthe kind of guy who likes best what he's used to."

  "I know. That's why I didn't want him to change my looks."

  Again silence.

  She said, "Fred?"

  "I'm still here."

  "Have you talked to him about it?"

  "He's talked to me. He's told me about your being worried."

  "Don't you think it matters?"

  "Yes, I suppose it does. He told me he could do a good technicaljob--leave us with regular features and unblemished skins."

  "That isn't what I want," she said fiercely. "I don't want the kind ofregular features that come out of physiology books. I want my ownfeatures. I don't care so much about the voice, but I want my own faceback!"

  "That's a lot to ask for. Hasn't he done enough for us?"

  "No. Nothing counts unless I have that. Do--do you think that I'm beingsilly?"

  "Well--"

  "I don't want to be beautiful, because I know you don't want me to be."

  He sounded amazed. "Whoever told you that?"

  "Do you think that after living with you for two years, I don't know? Ifyou had wanted a beautiful wife, you'd have married one. Instead, youchose me. You wanted to b
e the good-looking one of the family. You'revain, Fred. Don't try to deny it, because it would be no use. You'revain. Not that I mind it, but you are."

  "Are you feeling all right, Margaret? You sound--overwrought."

  "I'm not. I'm being very logical. If I were either ugly or beautiful,you'd hate me. If I were ugly, people would pity you, and you wouldn'tbe able to stand that. And if

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