by Cole Lepley
A tear slips down his cheek, and my eyes begin to burn. I can’t remember the last time I saw Ollie cry. Seeing someone so strong and so confident be vulnerable like this takes my breath away. It’s hard to watch someone you love struggle, especially when you have no idea they’re hurting in the first place.
He quickly brushes a hand across his cheek and sits up straighter. “In a lot of ways, I was worse than I am now. What could I possibly give her when all I did was walk around like some entitled, arrogant prick?”
“That’s not true,” I cut in, and he laughs.
“I appreciate your need to defend me, but trust me,” he says, locking eyes with me. “I was an asshole.”
“But you were young, right?” I ask, trying my hardest to take away some of the guilt on his face.
He nods. “Seventeen. I was seventeen and madly in love with a girl I knew I’d never be good enough for. That’s why I didn’t say it back when she told me, and that’s why she left.” He laughs again. “Well, most of the reason.”
I want so desperately to ask him to tell me everything, but I respect the fact he’s shared this much. Ollie never talks about girls in the long-term, especially not with words like love.
My fingers absently pick at the frayed hole in the knee of my jeans. I look up at him and sigh. “I guess we both know what it feels like to have the person you love leave you.” I sniff and hold back another onslaught of tears threatening to overflow. “It sucks.”
Ollie shakes his head. “But Hunter doesn’t want to leave.”
“You’re just saying that,” I scoff.
“No,” he says, more determined. “If he wanted to leave, he would be gone by now. He wouldn’t be waiting around for you to graduate, chaperoning a dance you’re about to be crowned at.”
I’m not convinced. “He’s obligated to do those things, Ollie.”
He shoots me a look. “You really think he gives a shit about finishing out his contract?” He pulls a hand into his chest. “I know him. He didn’t break up with you because he doesn’t love you—he broke up with you because he thinks he’s protecting you. Maybe he and I were both afraid of different things, but our reasons for the doing the things we did are the same.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
Ollie smiles and it breaks the tension filling the air around us. “You have to forget about all that Monroe pride I instilled in you and convince him to stay.”
I laugh once. “How am I supposed to do that?”
He nudges my knee. “Come on now. I’ve watched you love someone fearlessly without even giving it a second thought. You were willing to risk everything to be with him and now’s your chance to show him you’re not giving up without a fight.”
His optimism is usually contagious, but right now I’m not so sure. It’s been weeks since Hunter told me it was over, and I haven’t so much as gotten a text from him. He’s either really good at hiding his emotions, or he’s already given up.
“I’ll think about it, okay,” I say, standing up from my stool.
Ollie gets up too and pulls me in for a hug. I wrap my arms around his waist, and he squeezes me a little tighter than usual. “I love you, Elle. I want you to have everything you ever wanted.”
I hug him and sigh against his chest, letting all my pent-up tears finally fall. “I love you, too.”
44
Bloom
I stared at my reflection in the mirror for the longest time before I got the strength to walk downstairs. This is the day I looked forward to for as long as I can remember. It doesn’t feel that way anymore, not for the reason it should. I have the perfect dress, the perfect date, and I know without a doubt I’m about to be queen. Keeping my nomination was the last nail in Cameron’s coffin. She doesn’t get to win this battle. I’ve been fighting it for far longer than anyone even realized.
Sitting in the cab of Judah’s truck, the air feels almost stifling. When Ollie told me he and Hunter were chaperoning, I was livid. Why would he want to be in the same place as me when he doesn’t care anymore?
Judah’s eyes shift from the road to me. “You okay, babe?”
I nod quickly. “Yeah, why?”
“You look like you’re headed to death row,” he remarks with a smirk.
I twist an errant curl of hair around my finger as I stare out the window. “Aren’t I? I mean, Cameron is just waiting to ruin my evening. It’s all anyone can talk about. If I were smart, I would just skip this night all together.”
He reaches over and pats my knee to get my attention. “Elliot, look at me.” When my eyes meet his he continues. “Cameron won’t win tonight.”
He holds my gaze for several moments before looking back to the road. “And I’m not just talking prom queen. She’s not going to win period.” The determination in his voice almost makes me emotional for some reason. “The Elliot I know would never be afraid—of anything. You’re confident and beautiful and that is what attracts people to you.”
“Well, I’m scared now. I’ve never been more afraid of anything my life.” I look down to my hands clasped in my lap as I speak. I’m not really talking about prom, and I think he knows that. “I don’t think it’s fair talking to you about this.”
He shakes his head. “You can talk to me about anything, Elle.” I look over at him, and he winks. “That’s what I’m here for, babe.”
All I can do is give a small smile back as we pull into the parking lot of the venue for prom. It’s being held at one of the fancier golf courses just outside of town in their ballroom. I think my father was upset they didn’t have it at the lodge, but this is tradition, and most people don’t like to stray from that.
Judah gives me a reassuring smile when we exit the vehicle and takes my hand in his. All eyes are on us as we make our entrance, including a pair of blue ones I see standing next to my brother in the corner. The sight of him dressed in a tuxedo makes my chest ache. It takes everything inside of me to pry my eyes away as I greet our friends.
We are immediately swarmed by groups of people commenting on how nice my dress is, how happy they are we’re here together, and most importantly, how much of bitch they think Cameron is. I never wanted to start a war with her. She was my best friend for almost my entire life. If anything, what she did hurt me deeply. How could anyone sacrifice their friendship just so they could be noticed? Well, she got her wish, just not in the way she planned on.
I lean into Judah’s ear. “I’m going to ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.”
“The last time you said that you were gone for over twenty minutes.”
My cheeks flush as the memory of Fall Festival flashes in my mind. We would be insane to pull a stunt like that again so close to the end. I give his arm a squeeze. “I promise I’ll be right back this time.”
His eyes drift to Hunter and then back to me. “Okay.” The uncertainty lacing his voice brings on a new wave of guilt I attempt to push down as I make my way through the crowd. I do my best to avoid Hunter’s glare as I pass him.
When I’m safely in front of the mirror in the restroom I pull my lip-gloss out of my bag. I see Cameron coming out of the stall behind me in the reflection, and I glare at her.
She washes her hands beside me. “Well, well. I see you and Judah finally decided to grace the little people with your presence.” Her eyes are narrowed to practically slits as she leers over at me. “I’ll bet one person is less than happy about it.”
I close my eyes and take a breath before speaking. There are still a few girls lingering around us. “It’s good to see you too, Cam.” My voice is clipped as I turn to her. “After all, everyone loves a little competition.”
She laughs once. “If you are referring to prom queen, I would advise you not to jump to conclusions. You haven’t been crowned yet.”
I stand my ground. “Yet.” I emphasize. She turns several shades of red.
“You think you’re so smart, don’t you? Bringing Judah here trying to recreate your former glo
ry.” She leans into me, and I fight the urge to break her newly reconstructed nose. “I’ve got news for you, Elliot. You’re not as hot as you think you are.”
I let out an incredulous laugh. “That’s cute coming from you. I think you know it’s the other way around.”
Her hands ball into fists, and she lets out a scream. The misplaced hatred toward me is palpable as her body begins to shake with rage. “Oh wouldn’t it be tragic if little miss perfect didn’t win something? All you do is use people, and they worship you for it!”
“That’s not true.”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, really? What about Judah? You’re willing to destroy him to prove a point. What kind of a person does that?”
My eyes scan around the small restroom as the last person reluctantly makes their way out. Girls love drama, especially mine.
“You don’t know anything about me and Judah,” I say through my teeth. I take a step toward her, and she backs against the wall. “And furthermore, you don’t know shit about me either. If you were any kind of friend, you would have seen how miserable I was and tried to help me through it.” I laugh once. “Instead you chose to use it as ammunition to try and get one up on me.”
She shrugs and her indifference pisses me off even more. “Everyone has to fall sometimes. You can always be perfect.”
Her level of insecurity is so unbelievable I actually feel bad for her. Not bad enough to let her win. If there’s one lesson to be learned, it’s that actions always have consequences. If you go into a situation maliciously, you deserve everything you get.
Tired of arguing with her, I clasp my clutch shut and tuck it under my arm. “I’m done fighting with you. I don’t care what you think about me.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “If you don’t care then why go to so much trouble to make sure I lose?”
A smile crosses my face. “You think I had to do anything? I showed up. That’s it. You were always going to lose.” I lean in closer. “But I think you knew that.”
Her nostrils flare as I step back and turn to walk out of the room. If she was going to say something, she would have done it by now. That’s the thing about followers like her, they can’t think for themselves.
The look of relief on Judah’s face is almost amusing when I walk back. He pulls me against his side and whispers close to my ear. “I was worried about you. There was talk of a catfight in the bathroom.”
I brush it off with a shrug. “I was just reminding Cameron of a few things she may have forgotten.”
He smiles before planting a kiss to the side of my head. “That’s my girl.”
Involuntarily, I smile back. Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glare from Hunter and Oliver shakes his head. There will be no winning tonight with the two of them here. No matter what I do my every move with be thoroughly scrutinized.
After dinner and pictures, the first slow song begins to play. I take Judah’s hand, and he leads me out onto the dance floor. When I wrap my arms around his neck, his eyes meet mine as we start to sway gently to the music.
“You don’t know how much it means to me that you brought me here, Elle. I know I wasn’t your first choice, but I always saw us ending up here together.”
I smile. “Me too, and that’s not true.” He arches an eyebrow, but I continue. “I mean, I always saw myself being at my prom with you. I’m really glad you came with me.”
“Really?”
The sadness clouding his eyes almost breaks me. I don’t want Cameron to be right; I don’t want to the one that destroys him.
“Of course,” I say softly, rubbing the back of his neck with my hand. “You’ll always be important to me.”
He bites his lip, spinning us around, away from the crowd as much as he can. He lowers his voice. “I wish I would have realized how important you are to me.”
When I open my mouth to speak, he smiles. “Let me say this, okay?”
I nod, smiling back.
He takes a breath. “I wish I would have fought harder for you before I left, but I can’t change that now. All I can do now is make sure you don’t make the same mistake I did.”
My eyebrows pull in. “Judah, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying, I don’t think you should give up. You clearly feel strongly for him, and I would hate for you to settle for something that isn’t what you really want.”
I grab both side of his face so he has to look directly in my eyes. “Being with you is not settling.”
He smiles again. “I know that, babe.” He glances over his shoulder and then back to me. “But, I also know what you really want—and I think he knows that, too.”
I laugh once. “I can’t believe you’re the one telling me this.”
“I love you, Elle. If that means I have to let you go so you can be happy, then that’s what I have to do.”
Hugging him closer, I press my lips just below his ear. “I love you, too. You know that, right?”
He nods quickly, swallowing back the emotion he tries so desperately to hide from everyone except me. Without thinking, I pull back and kiss him once. “Thank you, Judah. For everything.”
He gives me a genuine smile. “Always, babe. Always.”
I take comfort in the friendship that was able to bloom between us from the love we’ve always had but were too afraid to show each other. All of the pain wasn’t for nothing. It made us stronger. Now that we’re able to love ourselves, hopefully we can love others as well. I know I can, and I have faith he’ll be able to do the same.
When I cast a glance over my shoulder at Hunter, he’s visibly struggling to keep it together. I watch him hand something to Oliver before walking brusquely toward the exit.
My heart begins to pound, and I consider running after him. Oliver’s words play over and over in my mind, and the moment to bring this all to an end feels like it’s slipping away. Those thoughts are interrupted when Poppy Lincoln takes the stage in front of us. She grips the microphone with a smile while holding a small silver envelope.
The music fades out and all the attention shifts to her. “Hey guys, I’m sure you’re all just as excited as I am for this. It’s time to announce this year’s queen.”
I exchange a heated glance with Cameron right before Judah wraps his arms around me from behind. “You got this, babe,” he says in my ear.
I bring my hands up to grip his arms and take a breath. After all, this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
Poppy’s crimson lips curl into a wicked smile as she peels back the envelope. Her eyes light up as she reads. “Well, it should come as no surprise,” she says enthusiastically. “This year’s prom queen will be—"
45
Save The Last Dance for Me
I can’t watch them anymore. It doesn’t matter if we aren’t together, there’s only one person Elliot is supposed to be with, and it isn’t him. Reaching into the pocket of my jacket, I pull out the flask Oliver gave me earlier. He said I would need it and he was right—again.
After taking a long pull, I twist the cap back on. Oliver nudges my shoulder with his. “You cool?”
I shake my head. “Not really.” I hold the flask up so he can see before tucking it back in my jacket.
His eyes drift to the dance floor where Elliot and Judah appear to be in an intimate embrace. “It’s almost over, man. They’re about to announce the queen.”
My teeth clench as I continue to stare at what should be mine. I want all of her moments, not just the ones nobody sees. “I don’t care,” I say suddenly.
He raises an eyebrow as I hand the flask to him. “I have to get out of here.” I look back to the dance floor again, and her eyes meet mine before I turn back to Oliver. “Cover for me, okay?”
Oliver grips the flask in his hand, his eyes narrowing. “You’re really going to leave?”
I glance at Elliot and then back to him. “Please, Oliver.”
“Okay,” he says, uncertainty in his tone.
I shoulder past hi
m before I can change my mind. It feels like I hold my breath until I reach the hallway right outside of the ballroom. I take deep breaths and pace around with my hands clasped on top of my head.
Is it wrong for me to want to leave before it’s over? I know I told her it was over and she should move on, but it doesn’t mean I have to watch it anymore. My hand reaches in my pocket, and I grip my keys. With one last glance at the doors I turn around and walk straight to the parking lot.
I drive to my apartment in silence. After all the music blaring from the dance, a little quiet is in order. Before getting out of my truck, I lean over and grab the six pack I got at the convenience store on the way here.
Sitting on the tailgate, I crack the first bottle. The way this night is going I’m sure there will be many. No matter how hard I try, my thoughts keep going back to her. Oliver was right yet again, whether I’m there or not, I’m still going to think about it.
I’m working on the second bottle when Oliver’s truck pulls into the lot. I laugh because he must have bailed too. I smile as I wait for him to get out of the truck. All the air escapes my lungs when Elliot does instead.
She walks over to me with her dress bunched in her left hand, her crown still on top of her head.
I nod to it as she stops in front of me. “Congratulations.” I tip my beer to her before tilting it back. “But the dance isn’t over yet.”
“I know,” she says softly.
“Then what are you doing here?” The sarcasm lacing my voice is unintentional, but I keep going anyway. Seeing her with Judah is something I’ll never get used to and maybe I carried some of that bitterness with me. “This is your prom. You only get one of them.”
She smiles, but it’s so painfully sad my own heart twitches. “I had to tell you something.”
My stomach begins to twist up again. “And what’s that?”
She takes a breath, stepping closer. “I came to tell you I don’t care anymore.”
