Fates, this wasn’t fair. He could feel everything. Which meant that he’d soon know—
“Nervousness.”
Yeah. That.
“I only want to comfort you, McKenna,” he said again, meeting my eyes. Even as he spoke, the dress continued to slip down my body. “I want to take your pain away. Make you feel cherished, warm, and safe.”
A tremor shook me as my breasts spilled from the dress. My naked breasts. No man had ever seen me in this state of undress before. Without taking his gaze off mine, Lochlan slid the dress over my ribcage and stomach, pausing a moment to peel the tight material from my hips and thighs. Then he let go. The material fell to the floor, leaving me in nothing but a tiny red thong.
Yes. Thong. Curse you, Kade.
More nervous energy trembled through me when Lochlan pushed back the shower curtain and ushered me inside. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stepped under the warm spray, surprised when his eyes didn’t stray from my face. For a moment, I thought he would go, leaving me alone to scrub the night’s failure from my skin. Instead, he deftly removed his gloves and joined me in the shower.
“Lochlan,” I gasped, almost losing my footing in my haste to retreat.
“Let me do this,” he quickly said before I could jump out of the shower. “I promise to be careful. I just . . . I need to be close to you.”
My heart frantically pounded as he drew the curtain closed, sealing us inside. What was he thinking? Yeah, he still had on a t-shirt and jeans, but one slip-up of his hand was all it would take. “How?” was all I could manage, my throat closing.
“With this,” he simply said, revealing the bar of soap and washcloth in his hands.
I stopped breathing. Oh fates, I was so not ready for this. I’d never be ready. This was crazy stupid. Dangerous.
“Do you trust me?”
At the question, my eyes shot up to his. He very well knew it wasn’t fair to ask me that question. Not after all his secrets and half-truths. There were still so many things I didn’t know about him, things that he was keeping from me. But this?
“Yes,” came my trembling response, because this was something I knew. Something he’d proven he could be trusted with. I had nothing to doubt or fear. Nothing to feel other than safe.
“Then turn around,” he whispered, and I felt another pang of nervous energy. His. He was nervous too. Maybe for different reasons than me, but it was still reassuring, knowing we felt the same.
So I turned, making myself vulnerable before him. Nervous, but trusting him to take care of me. Moments later, the cloth slid over my shoulder. I tensed, waiting for him to hiss, to pull back, to realize this was a mistake. But he didn’t, continuing to gently wipe the smoke and ash from my skin.
Eventually, my eyes drifted shut as I let myself enjoy the soothing motions. Gathering my hair over a shoulder, I gave him complete access to my back. Only then did I fully realize how naked I was. The thong did nothing to hide my nudity from him, a conclusion that we both seemed to reach at the same time.
A sharp stab of desire pierced me, so intense that I couldn’t suppress a gasp. Lochlan’s hand paused on the middle of my back. His breathing sped up. I could only imagine the view he was getting of my backside right this very moment. Several seconds passed before he breathed, “You’re so achingly beautiful, solemae.”
At the deep sincerity in his voice, my stomach swooped with butterflies.
I almost told him then that I knew what the word meant. Almost asked why he hadn’t told me what he thought we were. Soulmates. I had so many questions, but the words stuck in my throat. The timing didn’t feel right and I didn’t want him to pull away. Because I selfishly needed this moment. To submerge myself in denial a little while longer. The grief and anger and guilt would consume me soon enough. But I could have this. A moment of comfort. With the man I was somehow linked to—and hopelessly falling for harder than ever.
So I let my head fall back onto his shoulder, sighing when he swept the cloth up my arm. When he reached my neck, he slowed, repeatedly scrubbing at the spot where I’d been bitten as if to erase the memory.
“It should have been me,” he gruffly said, splaying his free hand on the wall near my head. “Only my mark, my scent should be on you.”
As his clothed body brushed the length of my back, a thrill shivered up my spine. “You want to bite me?”
“I want to do a whole lot more than bite you, McKenna,” he quietly growled. “Sinfully wicked things that would burn your ears to hear.” Holy fates. My body reacted to the suggestive words by shooting a blast of heat straight between my legs. Another growl rumbled deep in his throat and he pressed even closer, sliding the cloth down my neck. When he continued the downward path, my breath came in ragged spurts. “Lower your arms, solemae.”
Fates above, I was going to melt into a pile of mush at his feet if he kept talking that way.
I complied to his soft command, biting my lip as he swept the cloth across the tops of my breasts. But when he circled the cloth around one of my sensitive nipples, I couldn’t hold back a whimper of pleasure. He did the same to the other nipple, until I was shaking uncontrollably with need. With both nipples sufficiently hardened, he grasped one and rolled it between his fingers.
My back arched and I cried out, unprepared for the sharp jolt of pleasure. He heightened the feeling by gently squeezing and tugging, repeating the process on both nipples until I saw stars. “Lochlan,” I panted, reaching a hand behind me. “I want you.”
Need exploded through me, so powerful that my legs almost gave out. Some of it was mine, but even more was his. As he ran the cloth down my stomach, his breathing as desperate as mine, I found what I was looking for.
The moment my fingers closed around his erection, he violently jerked against me. Breathlessly expelling my name, he whipped me around to face him. I gasped and met his gaze, expecting to find that silent plea again. That look telling me he didn’t want this. Want me.
But all I found was dark, unbridled desire.
Even so, he didn’t move a muscle, the steam from the shower plastering strands of hair to his forehead. “This isn’t why I came in here, McKenna,” he said huskily, never once taking his eyes off mine. “You’re grieving. I don’t want you to regret this later on when—”
“I won’t,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “I need this. I need you.” When he continued to hesitate, as if afraid he was taking advantage of my emotionally weakened state, I swallowed hard and whispered, “Please.”
Please comfort me. Please make me forget. Please take away the pain.
As tears sprung to my eyes, I felt his resolve slip. Felt his renewed desire to be close to me. Yes, I continued to silently plead. I need you, I need you, I need you. A tear spilled unnoticed down my cheek, or so I thought. The moment it did, he slowly backed me against the wall. Gently prying my thighs apart with his, he slipped his fingers between my legs.
At the sudden rush of contact, I threw my head back and moaned, unable to control my reaction. He stroked me firmly, bringing me high so fast that I didn’t realize he’d dropped the washcloth. I opened my mouth to warn him, but nothing came out. I was too far gone and his bare fingers sliding over the wet satin fabric felt too good. I reached my hand out again and cupped him, pleased when he emitted a low hiss.
But I wanted more. Wanted to feel more. So I fumbled to unbutton his jeans. His nervous energy pinged through me again, swift and sharp. But when he didn’t stop me, I released the button and slowly undid his zipper. My nervousness joined his, along with a rush of mutual excitement. I’d never done something like this before, never intimately touched a man. My fingers trembled. Nerves and inexperience almost made me pull back. But I needed this too much. Needed him.
The second my hand connected with his manhood, he loosed a guttural groan. Just like that, all of my doubts fell away. With only a thin layer of cotton between us, I was able to properly explore the impressive length. Hard yet somehow soft, I famili
arized myself with him. Careful not to touch his skin, I grew braver with each stroke, basking in his reactions. Every pant, every hitched breath, every twitch and moan heightened my own pleasure.
As his shaft swelled beneath my touch, he pressed himself into my palm, rubbing against me. I followed his lead, slowly and a bit awkwardly learning what he wanted. He patiently coached me, matching his movements to mine.
A deep ache gradually built, one we mutually felt. We desperately fed the ache, letting it grow and grow and grow until it could no longer be contained. Ecstasy simultaneously exploded through us, the combined sensation powerful enough to render me deaf and blind.
When I could see again, it was to find him watching me.
A pang of wonder, of awe shivered through me, one that matched his expression.
More tears scalded my cheeks. Tears of relief, of gratitude.
We let the moment last for as long as we could. The water ran cold. Even then, we remained where we were, loath to leave this unexpected haven where something so earth-shattering had happened. Once this moment ended, reality and all its hardships would come crashing down around us. So I clung to this moment, relieved when he did too. Savoring every precious second.
Even while knowing that it wouldn’t last.
* * *
For as long as I could remember, sleep was a struggle for me. I was forever jerking awake from a nightmare or perceived threat. The dreams had only grown stronger with age, more vivid, more detailed. More real. Like the one I’d dreamt of Isla.
But when Lochlan was near, close enough to touch, it was like he could block the dreams. Like his body was a physical barrier, protecting me from the dark things that wanted to crawl into my subconscious.
After our shower, I’d tried to hold onto denial a little while longer with some sleep. But I’d tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, unable to quiet my mind.
Until he’d slipped into bed with me.
Gathering me against him, he’d whispered for me to sleep.
That’s all it took.
I’d drifted away into nothing, peaceful nothing.
I awoke hours later to the sun peeking in through a broken blind. Expecting Lochlan to have arisen early like he had in the past, I was shocked speechless to still feel him behind me. Before I could turn to see if he was awake, he lazily looped his arms around my middle and pulled me against him.
“Morning,” he said, his voice low and husky from sleep. My toes curled at the sound, at the way he snuggled up against me and buried his face in my hair.
Holy fates, I could get used to this. Really, really used to this. Which was bad. Really, really bad. Wait, why was it bad again? I couldn’t seem to remember.
Even though we were both fully clothed now, his heat penetrated my pajamas, making me feel more content and safe than I’d ever felt before. One of his hands suddenly went rogue, sliding down to cup me between my legs.
Freaking fate babies.
Instantly awake, I moaned breathlessly and arched against him. “Lochlan,” I gasped as he pressed down on the sensitive bundle of nerves. “What are . . . what are you—”
“We’ve never done it in the morning,” his languid voice purred in my ear. “Or on a bed.”
What the . . . Was he keeping track? And why did that completely turn me on?
But before his talented fingers could begin their magic, making me utterly useless, I rolled over on top of him. Straddling his hips, I slowly sank down onto his erection. “You’ve also never let me lead before,” I said, shocking us both with my boldness. With him now in his human form, I watched as flecks of red brightened his dark eyes. When I ground myself against him, he hissed and grabbed my waist.
Stilling my movements, he propped himself up so that our faces were inches away. “That’s because I need to be in control,” he answered, using his hands to rock me against him.
Sucking in a gasp, I gave him what he wanted, digging my fingers into his shoulders as he increased the pace. “Why?” I panted, trying to maintain eye contact. “Why do you need control?”
Vulnerability darkened his gaze. “So I can’t be hurt again.”
My breath hitched as pain tightened my chest. His pain. I instinctually wanted to comfort him, to touch his cheek and run my fingers through his hair. I curled them into his shirt instead. “I won’t hurt you,” I whispered. “I promise.”
He slowed, still tightly gripping my waist. “I can’t take that chance, McKenna. I’m sorry.”
We stared at each other, long enough for me to see, to feel, more than he probably wanted me to. When he abruptly started to pull away, I squeezed my thighs to hold him in place. “Who hurt you?” I demanded, undeterred when he clenched his jaw and looked away. “Was it a witch? A Syphon?”
I heard it then, the thundering of his heart. The instant panic. And I knew, just knew that I was right.
“Tell me, Lochlan. Please,” I said, softening my voice. “I want to help you.”
He bared his teeth in a trembling grimace, still refusing to look at me. “You can’t. Your kind broke me.”
My heart twisted miserably as I felt his cold resentment. Even if it wasn’t directed at me, it sure felt that way. I didn’t give up though, desperate to know what had happened to him. “Is it because they cursed you?” Silence. “Is that why you vowed never to trust or care about a witch ever again?”
“Stop, McKenna,” he quietly said.
“Is that why you want me to reject our bond? Because I’m a disgusting witch and you hate us all?”
“Stop,” he said again, louder this time. But I was hurt now, hurt and confused. My own voice raised.
“Is this the only thing witches are good for? A little fooling around before you dump them? Is this what you did with all the other Syphons? Use them, then kill them when your hatred for them became too strong?”
“Stop!” he roared, flipping me beneath him in one fell swoop. His fiery gaze effectively pinned me to the mattress. “I was never intimate with the other Syphons I hunted. Never even had a desire to. And I haven’t intentionally tried to kill one in nearly a hundred years. I tried to protect them, even when they tried to kill me. I only ever wanted to break the curse and be done with witches forever. But then . . . then you came along.”
“Yeah. Me,” I spat, giving in to my anger despite how easily he could kill me right now. “The witch who ruined all your plans. The Syphon you can’t trust or be honest with. The solemae that you never wanted. But I should feel lucky, right? Because I can save the world from a supernatural war. Because a sexy vampire prince wants to get inside my pants. Yeah, lucky me.”
He’d gone absolutely still while I raved at him, the blood slowly leaching from his face. When I’d finished, only my harsh breathing filled the silence.
Several emotions pricked at my chest, all of them his. None of them good.
Horror, disbelief, fear, dread.
Just as I felt the beginning of tears threaten to fill my eyes, he breathed my name. There was so much feeling behind the sound that I stopped breathing, desperately trying to figure out what it meant. He did it again, searching my face as if it held all the mysteries of the universe.
Then he reached for me.
With his bare hand.
Reached for my face, his fingers inches away from touching it.
The door banged open. Splintering against the wall.
Two forms rushed in, and neither of them was Kade.
My bones turned to ice when I recognized who they were.
Lochlan’s brothers had found us.
22
KENNA
Lochlan was clearly only thinking one thing.
Protect.
The emotion poured from him in pulsating waves. The second his brothers burst in, he had me pressed against the wall, his body shielding me from view.
An unearthly growl rumbled through him, growing louder the closer his brothers came. I rose on tiptoe to see them over his shoulder.
&
nbsp; Troy, the one wearing a baseball hat with longer hair and sharper features, rolled his eyes and muttered, “I knew it. He’s totally screwing her.”
“Watch your mouth, Troy,” Lochlan snarled, bristling with fury.
I peeked at Everett, the older brother whose body looked like it was chiseled from rock. The sight of him dredged up horrific memories I’d tried to suppress, of him snapping August’s neck and slowly squeezing my own. Fear crawled up my throat.
“Hand her over, Loch,” he said, curling his gloved fingers into fists. “If you go peaceably, I won’t take my frustration with you out on her.”
Lochlan went predatorily still. “Touch her and you’ll regret it.”
Everett’s pale green eyes flashed. “What will you do, kill me?”
“If I have to.”
“Okay, enough,” Troy groaned. “You two are worse than roosters in a cockfight. Just tell him about our prisoner so we can be on our way, Ever.”
“What prisoner?” I spoke up, despite my fear. If they had Kade—if they’d harmed him in any way—no one would stop me from seeking vengeance, not even Lochlan.
Everett narrowed his eyes on me and I shivered at the promised violence in their depths. Instead of answering me, he jerked his chin at Troy. “Go get him.”
It didn’t take long for Troy to return with a bound and gagged man, so beaten up that he was unrecognizable. I winced as Troy tripped the man’s feet and he crashed to his knees.
“Who is he?” Lochlan said, which eased some of my worry. Surely he’d know if it was Kade.
“We found him in the woods trying to follow the Syphon’s trail,” Everett replied. “Said he’s grown quite close to her this past week. That he helped her escape the institute. He was able to resist our thrall though, so it took us longer to get information out of him. He eventually told us about his kidnapped sister and where you were headed. Then all Troy had to do was track his phone to this rat-infested hole.”
Curse Touched: A Paranormal Vampire Romance (A Touch of Vampire Book 2) Page 19
