by Eden O'Neill
Today, the help would be ill-placed, though. Hubert may take me wherever I wanted to go, but he’d most assuredly take those details directly back to my father. One thing about Ramses’ plan was we weren’t supposed to report anything we were doing to anyone. We didn’t know who we could trust.
Even my own dad.
That man hadn’t given me any reasons to trust him, and I wouldn’t be starting now. I could use Hubert’s help with a ride today, but it wouldn’t be without a cost.
Faking a smile, I waved my hand. “Actually, Hubert, I’m hanging out with some friends tonight. I was going to get a ride with them.”
The old man in a billed hat frowned. “Are you sure? I could take you.”
I was damn sure, keeping that smile wide when I denied him again. Where I planned to go to work out this shit with Ramses would definitely shoot some questions out of my dad, and as of lately, he or my aunt Celeste hadn’t butted their noses into my life. I think they were both scared to, scared I’d run again or do something crazy. Because of that, they’d both been leaving me alone, and I wasn’t about to test the waters with that now.
I left Hubert at the doors of Windsor Prep after more assurances I didn’t even believe. No, I wasn’t sure I’d be okay, and I most definitely wasn’t fine. My friend was out there most likely on a mission by himself, and I wasn’t sure I had any power regarding the fallout. Ramses could be anywhere and doing anything.
Ramses may not have any time at all.
I kept myself together when I actually found my friends, the basketball girls crowded around Birdie Arnold’s locker. Shakira and Kiki where there too, the girls all looking like the cover of Shape magazine, Olympian edition. They were gorgeous. They were tall, and even though I definitely didn’t fit into their ranks with my lack of athletic ability, they chose to overlook that and hang out with me. I was grateful for that now, all the girls in the group brightening up when they saw me.
Birdie threw a long arm around me, her ponytail big, brown, and curly. “Hey, friend. You decided to come out with us after all?”
I didn’t, and where I actually wanted to go made all the girls in the circle do a double take. They quite literally stared at each other a long time while I waited for them to get over the initial reaction. People were probably crazy to go out to Windsor House if they weren’t Court, and I probably was. I had a bone to pick.
And I was going to make sure Royal Prinze fucking heard me.
Four
Royal
A knock pounded on my door, and the bottle of bourbon left my fingers. It hit the carpet with a soft thud, and I groaned, pressing palms to my eyes.
What the fuck?
The knock reverberated through my room like thunder, and roaming through my sheets, I managed to find the bottle of whiskey I’d emptied last night. I tossed the motherfucker, the bottle hitting the door and shattering into a million pieces. The knocks stopped immediately, and throwing the sheets back over my head, I intended to get some fucking sleep.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“What do you fucking want!” I roared, immediately regretting that. My hangover reached legendary levels at the sound, and I gripped my head, feeling like a stupid fuck for getting so drunk last night. Hell, it’d been more than one night. I day-drank all yesterday, the day before, and even early this morning.
I wanted to drink more, taking a pillow and pressing it over my head. There was too much light in my room, my head spinning and throbbing.
And that blasted door.
Knocks hit again, softer this time.
“Royal?” started a voice, soft and meek. I didn’t recognize it, but it sounded like a young dude on the other side. “Sorry to bother you, man, but—”
My thunderous steps roared through the room, and when I ripped the door open, a kid basically stared scared as shit at me. I’d surprised him, the kid stumbling back, and I pretty much had too on the way to the door. I was frankly fucking surprised I even made it over here.
I honed in. “Then why are you?”
He wrestled with his hands—Tyler, I think his name was? Anyway, he wore his Windsor Prep academy uniform, and it must have been later in the day than I believed. I either missed school or it was about to start. Either way, it didn’t matter. I didn’t care.
There was also two of the dude, the guy hazing in and out before my eyes. He swallowed. “There’s a girl downstairs for you. Well, at the gates, and she’s making a lot of noise about wanting to talk to you.”
I rolled my eyes. “So?”
Girls asked for me all the time, nothing new.
He swallowed again. “I just thought you should know—”
I slammed the door in his face, told, so now he could go the fuck away. I returned to my bed, pulling the sheets back over my head.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
This kid seriously had a death wish, but as I didn’t have the energy or stamina to deal with him, I buried into my bed like a vampire. I figured he’d eventually go away and would unless he wanted me to annihilate him.
“So you want me to tell her to go, then?” he asked. “She said her name’s December…”
My eyes shot open, my stomach dropping. December?
My steps hit the wood panel floor again, and the kid looked in the midst of a sprint before I grabbed him.
“December?” I asked, getting him by his lapels. Why were there fucking three of this kid now? I shook him. “Did you say December?”
His throat jumped. “Yes, do you want me to tell her to leave?”
He should tell her to leave. She needed to fucking leave.
“Bring her to my room.” I dropped him, my mind a blur when I slammed the door and immediately scanned my room. I had shit everywhere, glass everywhere, and I scraped it up enough to clear the door.
Why is she here?
Unable to breathe, I got the room in some kind of presentable state before thinking about myself. I wanted to shower. I needed to shower, but since I didn’t have time, I decided to assault my closet instead. I found a shirt I thought may be clean, and after working it over my head, I had just enough time to splash some water from a water bottle in my face before another more lively knock came down on the door. Lively was actually an understatement.
I was surprised she didn’t throw her fist through the wood.
“Royal!” Another slam and a smack this time like she bitch-slapped it. “Open this fucking door!”
She was angry at me, on fire, and though I’d given her more than one reason, I didn’t know why today. Maybe she was ready to finally hand my ass to me, blow up on me and let me know she was done with me and, hopefully, this town too.
Prepared for that and what I’d do to push her more, I opened the door, her hand poised in my direction. Hair down and cheeks flushed, December wore a big-ass coat that made her look like marshmallow fluff. It was white and everything, completely unbecoming, and she drowned in it.
Then why did she still look fucking gorgeous?
She looked like a damn cherub with that flush in her cheeks, her skin a cream-colored porcelain like one of my sister’s china-faced dolls. My dad never let the housekeepers put those away, there for his benefit as my sister hated those things. Even still, they were beautiful, ethereal.
Her hand falling, December stared at me too. I think, the two of us distracted by each other. I didn’t look my best, hair all over the place and shirt untucked. My jeans I pulled out of the hamper, and she followed me all the way up from them to my face. She came here to raise some hell, and I’d planned to give it to her right back.
So why did I just want to grab her instead?
I shouldn’t want that, not worthy of that. My sins were a mile long, and they’d only continue to grow. They had to in order to do what I needed to do.
“Okay,” I said, shrugging and dismissive about it. I propped a shoulder against the doorframe. “I opened the fucking door, now what?”
I wanted to piss her off. I wanted to push
her, and not only did I succeed, when her expression transformed, I got that when she physically pushed me inside my room. She slapped hands into my chest, little mitts that didn’t even hurt.
“What do I want?” She pushed again, another baby slap. “What do I want?”
She raised her hands, shoving me again, and I only didn’t fight back because I found I couldn’t. I couldn’t restrain her rage because I didn’t want to. I deserved every bit of it, physically unable to hurt her anymore. It was ripping me apart every day, so I let her jostle me.
“Where is he?” She gripped my shirt. “Where?”
“Who?”
The question enraged her more, her boots crunching on glass I missed picking up. She didn’t even notice it with how on fire she was. She shook me. “Don’t play with me—”
“I’m not,” I said, taking one hand and then the other. Backing her up, I kicked my door closed, then pressed her against it. This was easy because she was so tiny.
It was also easy because she smelled like fucking heaven.
Her flowery smell physically made my mouth water, all of this a bad idea when I lifted her hands. Pinning her, I got her beneath me, drunk off her.
“Now who, princess?” I asked her, my sins growing more when I leaned in. My nose brushed her ear, and I closed my eyes. “Who are you talking about?”
I needed to let go of her because if I didn’t, I knew what would happen. I’d let her in. I’d tell her everything if only to make the pain go away. It ripped me raw, worse and worse every day. Some days, I actually thought I’d buckle beneath it. She was the only thing that threatened my course of action, her and her damn flowers.
I breathed them in, wanting to sink inside her. I wanted to be part of her, and I wanted her to let me.
She did nothing at first, and I was scared of what she’d say next. I was scared she’d unravel me.
Instead, she told me to let go.
The words had been light but present, and when I pulled back, she had her eyes closed. All too quickly, she let out a breath, and when I let her go, I got back mine.
You’re so fucking stupid.
There wasn’t a world in which this girl and I could possibly be together. Too much had happened, and too much was still going to happen. She wasn’t supposed to be here.
“What do you want?” I asked, gripping the chair at my desk. I closed my eyes. “Why are you here?”
Why was she haunting me? A ghost like one of my sister’s china dolls. Her feet crunched more glass, and when I turned, she’d stared down at the floor. She noticed the glass, scraping through it, and eventually noticed the room too. It was in more than a disarray even with what I’d tried to do before she came in. I had stuff everywhere when things were normally tidy, and the amount of empty booze bottles that lined my dresser drawers and even my desk she’d definitely taken in. She started to look at the tower of shot glasses on the desk and the bottle of tequila I had beside it before I crossed my body in front of them both.
Her expression chilled. “Where is he, Royal?”
“I asked you who, princess,” I said, turning around. Opening my desk, I slipped my hand inside. “I’m not a mind reader.”
If looks could kill, I’d be dead where I stood when I passed a glance her way. She shot daggers at me, sinking her hands into her big ole coat.
“Your girlfriend was going on about how you made some pledge’s life hell all weekend in gym class today,” she said, her eyes to the floor again. She pushed out a breath before facing me. “So if you have Ramses—”
“Mallick?” Enraged now. Livid, I seethed. My hand in my desk, I pulled something out, gripping it. “What about him?”
Of course, she was here for him. The two of them besties, and I felt like an idiot again.
She’s not here for you.
The reality of that forced me to consider all the acts I’d done, all the things I was going to do to make sure she put herself and this town in her rearview mirror. December didn’t belong here and especially not right now. I thought I was protecting her.
I’d only screwed myself, doing things I didn’t want to do that not only made me sick but were pointless. Touching other girls had been pointless. She was over me.
The vacuum suck of that was heavy, my insides cut worse than they should. I shouldn’t care and maybe her lack of emotional tie would keep her away.
That’s what you wanted.
I supposed the ends did justify the means after all. I closed my eyes.
“I want to know where he is,” she said behind me. “He told me he was pledging to get into your Court.”
I raised my head, my breaths harsh. “Did he?”
“Yes. So if you have him…”
I turned, gripping that object out of my desk. I kept it behind my back, running my hands over it. “What makes you think I have him?”
And what else did she know? What else had he told her about what he thought he knew? He wouldn’t be that stupid. He wouldn’t… hurt her with nothing but theories. He would possibly if he wanted to hurt all of us, hurt me. He may not know anything about my relationship with December, but he knew I was friends with her sister. I’d protect her at all costs.
An attack on her would be a hit against me.
It made me long to rewrite history and how I’d handled recent events. I’d made a judgment call, and maybe it’d been the wrong one, but when December approached me, eyes on me, I took those thoughts back again. I hadn’t made the wrong choice.
And I knew just as well as her standing in this room.
She cared about Mallick, was friends with him, and though that drove me fucking crazy, that was the truth. The pair had a tie. They had a friendship or whatever.
She wet her lips. “Because you are the king of that group. You have influence, so you know everything that goes down. You tell me where my friend is or I’m calling the fucking cops.”
She didn’t know anything, and I knew that by the innocence of her accusations. She just wanted to know where Mallick was and needed my help to find him. I should be relieved by that.
My jaw clenching, I turned away, opening my hands and pushing a red cloth onto my desk. It was a handkerchief, old and worn and something my friend told me to keep. She hadn’t wanted it back after she’d given it to me to use.
My throat jumped. “Check the woods,” I told December, facing back at her. “The woods by the school.”
She simply stood there, stared at me, but in the end, not for long. She left my room, nothing but her scent in the air, and my head sagged forward. I’d made the right decision regarding Mallick.
The ultimate result of anything else would have gutted me.
I knew that for a fact, which was why I’d made the decision I had. After December left, I was alone in my room, but not for long.
LJ… Jax, Knight, and LJ opened my door. They didn’t come in, though, just standing there.
“You told her where Mallick is?” Knight asked, obviously having heard our conversation in here. He may have even passed her in the hallway.
Putting Paige’s handkerchief away, I nodded.
LJ frowned. “You know there’ll be repercussions from that, from her being here? Half the house saw her.”
“And heard you both.” Jax came in, cringing. “Your voices traveled down the hallway. People know Court business was told.”
It didn’t matter what our brothers knew, at least the ones here. It just mattered what got back to other members, a certain member in particular, and I’d deal with that like I always did.
I’d basically had to my whole life.
Five
December
The evening was cold, my breath in cloudy puffs as my boots crushed ice-lined leaves. The days had been warmer recently, but not warm enough. If Ramses was actually out here, somewhere out here behind the back of the school, that was crazy.
If Ramses was out here, he could be dead.
My friends didn’t even believe me when I t
old them, rushing back out to the car like a crazy person. I’d been talking a mile a minute, freaking out about the possibility of Ramses even being out behind the school. They hadn’t gotten it until I told them he pledged for Court. I hadn’t had a choice but to admit the truth.
I needed help searching.
I didn’t know how long it’d take to find Ramses in the woods, but I definitely wasn’t going without help. Along with the group in Birdie’s car, we’d been able to recruit pretty much the whole female and male basketball teams. If someone wasn’t out here looking, it was because we hadn’t gotten a hold of them. Ramses had a lot of friends, and everyone wanted to help. Currently, his name traveled through increasingly dark woods, the day shifting into night. The girls and myself huddled for warmth, the boys searching in other parts of the woods. The girls stayed together while the boys searched in smaller groups.
“Ramses!” I called out his name, several more of the girls doing the same. In their coats, they called just as loud and with just as much urgency as myself. We had to move quickly.
It was getting so cold.
Winter had been forgiving since December, but still, this was the Midwest, temperatures temperamental. Especially as things got dark. Soon, it’d be completely nightfall. Shakira shook her head. “Are you sure this is where Royal said he was? It’s too cold, December.”
It was too cold, all of this crazy. Especially if Ramses was out here for more than a couple hours. What kind of challenge could they possibly have had him out here for even? Did he have to just stand there, wait for someone to come and get him? That seemed way too easy, and if a previous haze had to do with lying on train tracks, it was too easy.
The fear running rogue through my veins, I faced my friends. “We need to split up like the guys. Smaller search parties.”
