by Eden O'Neill
He showed me that picture again, those four votes on the other side. They were obviously anonymous, but I didn’t need to ask who those votes were. I’d been told personally by the person who changed the vote himself.
My heart raced.
Ramses sat back. “I have a feeling that change had less to do with me and more to do with you, ’Zona,” he said, his smile small. “Those votes are Prinze, Knight Reed, Lance Johnson, and Jaxen Ambrose.”
I knew they were, how much I did. I squeezed my hands together. “Royal told me he got the vote to change. It was the day you got suspended. I let in on him about what he did to you, and it came out. I wanted to tell you. I just…” I didn’t know what to say and definitely didn’t want his pride hurt. I shook my head. “It was a lot that day.”
It was… still a lot, all these emotions. All this information I didn’t know what to do anything with. I just knew I felt something for Royal, and it was something so strong it scared me. I didn’t want him like this, all this stuff that was happening around us. I guess, in the end, I didn’t have a choice. The heart wanted what it wanted…
And I wanted him.
Ramses whistled after what I said, and I felt really bad for keeping something about him from him. I frowned. “I really didn’t want to keep all this from you…”
“It’s not that.” He waved a hand. “It’s just Prinze has just been so caviler about telling you about Court stuff. Telling you where to find me out in the woods? This? Really, ’Zona. Anything he tells about Court business or the hazing process comes with a hell of a risk. I only did because I didn’t give a fuck and we had a plan.”
He mentioned that before, a code. He’d said there’d be consequences for information discussed with those on the outside.
“What exactly are the consequences of that?” I asked. “For telling me those things and if someone found out?”
He shrugged. “Only he would know. I haven’t heard anything. But maybe he got away with the spill of information. It’s possible.”
Sure, it was, but what if he hadn’t? What if he’d been punished for doing nothing but telling me the truth?
My chest caved even more, and when Ramses rubbed my shoulder, I gazed up.
He smiled. “You should go to him, figure this out?” He shook his head. “That guy loathes my ass, so if he’s willing to fight for me, put all that past him for the sake of someone else…”
I swallowed.
“I still stand by what I said about him,” he stated. “The Court and all this hazing stuff is bullshit, and though I’m acknowledging he’s definitely not perfect, I think in the end, if it’s not me… well, I’m glad it’s him.”
He was glad it’s him.
I closed my eyes. I was glad it was him too.
Twenty-Five
Royal
Mira: You’re going to regret this. I’ll destroy you.
I was so far beyond Mira at this point I actually smirked. I was in another league and a completely different ballpark when it came to this girl it wasn’t even funny. She had no power over me anymore.
No one did.
Opening my desk drawer, I slid my phone inside to prove the point. I didn’t even block her. She could keep her threats.
What shit would I give about it?
Instead, I decided to take a shower, in my dad’s house tonight but not for any specific reason. Maybe I was trying to prove something to myself, that I could be anywhere and still have the power. He had less of a hold over me than Mira these days.
I scrubbed my hair, my body, before placing my hands on warm tiles. I stayed under hot jets for a long time, just thinking. I was thinking about what I ultimately had to do and what this would all boil down to. I tested mentally the means I’d ultimately have to go to for my friend, and I think I’d known that path for a long time. Everything was leading up to this.
It’d be my revenge.
How ironic this all had started a certain way, Paige wanting to get revenge for something and against someone who crossed her. From the beginning, this was all her, and though I hadn’t understood it then, I did now. I personally had stake in this…
Whoever it was that took my friend.
Of course I had no proof, but that was next. I’d find every shred of evidence I could to make sure things ended a certain way, me at one side of the playing field while the person and/or persons who screwed over Paige were at the other. It’d come to a final battle in the end.
And I’d have the smoking gun.
I pushed wet hair out of my face, breathing while the current slid down my nose and body. Taking that time turned out to be very valuable, got me out of my head and back on track. I turned off my personal shower before stepping out into heat and grabbing a towel. I cinched it right at my hips, tucking it tight before putting back on a sliver chain I’d been wearing lately. I found it deep in my things not long ago, a link to my past, and I wore it now as a symbol. I didn’t give a shit. I was going to do what I needed to do.
To hell with what my father felt about that.
Secure in the position, I put on my king ring, then padded out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Dinah, my sister Grace’s cat, played in the hallway with her toy, and I smiled at her, not many things to smile at these days. After tossing her toy, I headed into my bedroom for some clothes. I started to reach for my closet before a change in the wind caused me to grip the doors.
Someone’s in here, my space…
In my periphery, there was definitely another presence, a shadow in the corner of my eye. I recalled failing to enable the security codes before showering.
Playing it cool and pretending I hadn’t noticed, I stepped over to my desk drawer, sliding it open, but not to grab my phone and call the cops…
I got my hand around the nine millimeter, the gun I’d be using in the near future. I didn’t think it’d be needed quite so soon.
I braced the weight of it, ready to end this now, whoever it was in my room.
“Royal?”
The gun slid back into the desk immediately, and when I whipped around, a girl was slipping into my room from behind curtains. She’d climbed a goddamn level to get up here, had to have scaled a tree on the outside. There was no ladder or vinery to climb below.
Em…
I recognized her before she’d even fully gotten out of the curtains, her beauty not able to be masked by any distraction or shadows. She stood out from it all, my little ounce of hope.
My little ounce of light.
She kept me on the right side of the darkness even now, a distraction for me, which was one of the biggest reasons I’d pushed her away yet again at school. I couldn’t have her keeping me from what I needed to do in the end.
So why did I go to her?
We met in the middle of my bedroom, my hand on my towel while I watched her. She watched me too, the pair of us drinking each other in like we hadn’t had a fucking taste of anything in days.
“Why are you here?” I asked her, hating her for being here. She couldn’t be here, would mess things up, but even still, I let her approach. Her fucking flowery smell consumed my lungs, choking me because I couldn’t have it and her.
How much I wanted her, the girl a goddess and everything I should have ever stayed away from. Even from the beginning of all this.
Dark eyes studied me in a dimly lit room, pink lips pouting and perfect. She wet them before crossing even more into my space.
She touched me.
My face at first, both hands, and they felt like such fucking heaven I wanted to melt beneath her. I wanted to worship her, beg her for her forgiveness. I wanted to beg her for hurting her and doing what I felt I had to do.
Her hands stopped around my eyes, one eye as she placed fingers beneath. Those scars had faded, but the deeper ones lingered beneath.
“Did he hit you?” she asked, her beautiful face cringing. “Did he hit you the day of the fight because of me?”
How could she even know that
? That pretty much every strike that came from my dad lately had been because of things I’d done in connection to her. They weren’t her fault, though. Choices I had made and not her.
I nodded because she asked me a question, but only that. I’d stood by what I had done and didn’t regret it. I’d do anything for her.
Her touches continued on, and it started to hurt but not physically. Mentally and emotionally, it pained me to the point of explosion. I couldn’t have her, too much at stake.
“Stop,” I rasped, but leaned into every one of her touches, telling her the exact opposite of what I said. She knew what I wanted, no mystery between us. Even still, I fought it, eventually pulling her back by her shoulders…
Only to ultimately tug her closer.
I grabbed her by the back of her neck, releasing my towel and pressing my body up against hers. She gasped in response, her breath stolen away, and I picked her up, wrapping her legs around me.
“Em…” I pressed her down on my bed, leaning myself into her. I fucking shuddered on top of her like I’d never touched a girl before.
She kissed me, breathing life into me with every one of her soft kisses. She didn’t just take my mouth but my cheeks and my neck. I groaned for lack of impatience, immediately unzipping her coat and pulling it off her.
I threw it, her body so curvy and perfect even with her clothes on. I pressed my face between her breasts, breathing her in through her sweater.
“Why are you here?” I rasped, bunching her shirt up, then taking it off. I kissed her right between that supple valley, her bra lace and chest beautiful. “Why?”
She was ruining this for me, ruining everything. I couldn’t be who I had to be with her in my life. I couldn’t do what I had to do. She kept me from crossing a line I needed to cross, and I couldn’t allow that.
I came up, brushing her nose, and she stopped me, her hands sliding across my face, then through my hair like fucking heaven.
“I want to be, Royal,” she said, trembling too, and then she made me look at her, studying me almost in awe. She looked at me like I wasn’t a monster.
She looked at me like I had a soul.
Pulling me down, she parted my lips, sighing hard into the kiss. “I love you,” she said, then again and again. “I love you.”
She loved me, my insides caving the rest of the way. I thought I’d travel into the depths…
Surprised when the other side turned into light.
So much clarity hit me, so many things coming into full circle. There was me and this girl, and that was damn everything.
I braced her, kissing everything away, my pain, my suffering. It all lessened with every kiss and taste.
“I fucking love you,” I admitted to her, the truth for so long. It was all before me like fucking reality. I loved her, and I’d loved her for so long. I gripped her to me. “I love you, Em.”
She trembled once again, her bra strap sliding beneath my fingers. I pulled it away, kissing her right there on her shoulder.
She grabbed my hips in response, pressing me into her, so hard where she was soft. I had to feel her, unfastening her jeans and sliding them down her perfect legs. I kissed every ounce of skin I could find, tasted flesh even down to her toes. I needed her so much.
“Royal…” She gripped the sheets, her head back into my bed. She couldn’t remain still, wriggling beneath me while I made sure not to miss any piece of her. I wanted every piece. I wanted every jagged edge. It made me not think about mine.
I delved a tongue into her belly button, sliding fingers into the side of her panties. I pulled them down as I released her breasts, skin on skin, flesh on flesh when I tossed the bra to the floor.
She called out, my hand on supple skin when I squeezed her breast. Her legs went up when I pulled her panties off, burying my face into her hair while I simply touched her, kissed her.
“Please,” she begged, her legs easing apart, for me. “Please…”
I reached into my desk again, for protection this time. I got it around myself before taking her hands.
She let me, both of her tiny wrists gathered in one strong grip. I lifted them above her, her entire body flush and perfect. Pinning her, I placed my weight on her, being so careful. I didn’t want to hurt her.
I eased myself inside her, both of us crying out. I couldn’t even move at fucking first, all of it too much. Besides what happened at the beginning of term, I hadn’t been with anyone else, and during that I hadn’t felt anything. I’d had to get myself completely wasted and high to even do it. I had to numb myself so I wouldn’t feel it.
I felt this, every bit of her as I pumped inside her. She braced me, telling me things. She said she loved me, how she needed me.
“I need you.” I hated to admit it, feeling it made me weak. This girl was my Kryptonite, always had been.
Taking both of her hands now, I picked up, the pair of us creating a rhythm. I didn’t take from her, refused. I’d fucking die first.
December’s ankles crossed behind my back, making me move faster, driving harder. I gave her what she wanted and what I needed, this and every piece of her.
I kissed the inside of her arm, patient when she peaked first. I breathed kisses on her until I found that point myself, leaning so hard into it I thought I was literally falling. I couldn’t catch myself, gratefully succumbing to the wave.
Spent, I allowed my weight to fall on her, releasing her arms above only to wrap them around my neck. As stupid as it was, I wanted her to hold me.
I wanted her to never let me go.
Twenty-Six
December
Warm lips pressed against my back, and I closed my eyes. I stayed the night.
He let me stay the night.
Royal hadn’t pushed me away. If anything, he wouldn’t let me go away. He held me all night and this morning, when I woke up, his lips were on my skin. He held me close, absorbing his heat into me.
“I want to know everything,” I said.
He stopped kissing, but only long enough to pull back my hair. He touched teeth down in my shoulder, biting me a little.
“Em…” he sighed, and I turned around, never getting over how absolutely fucking beautiful he was in the morning. He had that messy just-boned look, appropriate for what we did last night.
I pushed some of the blond back and he kissed my palm.
“I need to know everything,” I pushed. “Everything that happened that night with Paige.”
He had the answers, and he needed to give them to me, my right. That was my sister, and he knew more than he was allowing me to. So much was going on here, but I was here now, here to listen.
He played with my hair as well, each touch to dark tendrils shooting electrodes directly into my scalp. I eased into him for his smell and heat, unable to get enough.
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” he stated, eventually cupping my cheek. “You just have no fucking idea.”
Which was why I needed him to tell me. I took his hand, waiting.
He touched his brow to mine. “I don’t want you to get hurt. What happened with Paige just starts with that night. It’s deep, and even I don’t have all the answers. I’m trying to figure it out, and it’s getting darker and darker the deeper I go in.”
I pushed arms around his waist, and he hugged me close.
He breathed into my hair. “I can’t have you getting hurt.”
“Can you?” I asked. “Is it possible… whatever this is, you might get hurt?”
He pulled away, pushing my hair back with a nod.
I wet my lips. “Then I’m all in. I need to know the truth, everything, and if something might happen to you too because of all this, I definitely need to know. What’s going on?”
He embraced me with his long arms, muscled body and hard biceps wrapped around me. “I don’t deserve you. And you didn’t deserve this. You or Paige.”
I swallowed, closing my eyes.
“This is going to get fucking de
ep, Em,” he said. “It’s gonna get worse, and that’s not just a speculation. That’s a promise. What the guys and I have unleashed is hell. We’re at fucking Dante’s gates, and who knows how worse that fire’s going to get as we go deeper. It’s bad. It’s fucking sick.”
I choked down a swallow again, and though I was scared also, terrified of the unknown and what he could possibly be talking about, I’d stay brave. If he was going to go through the gates of hell, I would too. I’d do it for my sister.
I’d do it for him too.
His hand came down my neck, smoothing before resting between my breasts. He held a firm hand there, my heart racing against him.
“Where’s Mallick’s token?” he asked, returning his hand to my neck. “The necklace he gave you?”
I’d lied so well, hadn’t I? A part of my own darkness. I took his hand. “All of that is over now. It was never real.”
He put distance between us a little, looking at me and touching anywhere he could find skin. He couldn’t seem to stop, doing that all night. “What do you mean?”
I chewed my lip. “Ramses speculated what was going on with you, the guys, and Paige at Route 80 before Christmas. That’s how I found out. After, we had a plan for him to get into Court so we could figure out the truth and expose what happened to Paige. The relationship between us was a lie for that. Never real.”
It was never… this, his hands on me, the feel of us together. It was so much more real than that and anything I’d ever felt with anyone else. This guy’s touch brought me to life, and his darkness I found myself wanting to do anything but leave from. I wanted to balance him, put it out. He was a good person. He just needed that balance, and I fully believed that.
Fingers came up to my lips, his thumb parting them. “You’re not his? Never was?”
“No…” I sighed, closing my eyes as he kissed me again. He sucked me into his heat, his body so close to mine. Eventually, I felt his hand go between us and to his own neck.
