“P and L?” I repeated.
“Profit and loss,” Sam said. “The accounting backbone of every business. The statement that predicts if a business will succeed or fail. The Royalty Roasters’s P and L is flawless.”
I stared down at the paperwork in front of me. I was looking at a perfect example of how a business should run. Should I take notes or something? I wondered.
My inner miser spoke up. Yes! You have so much to learn.
I spotted a column of numbers with the word “Employees” written on top. There was a list of names under the column heading, and then numbers written next to the names, with the letters “oz” written next to each number.
“That stands for ounces, right?” I said to Sam. “Or is it some kind of fancy accounting acronym that I don’t know yet?” I was feeling ready to learn.
Sam peered at the letters. “Oz stands for ounces,” he said.
I raised my eyebrows. “Wow—they pay their employees in ounces of gold?”
Sam chuckled as he shook his head. “No, that would be outrageous! Look, this one says twenty ounces. You think that The Miser would really approve of giving one of the employees that much in compensation? He and his brother would be bankrupt within a day!”
I shrugged. “I don't know,” I said. “To be very honest with you, I’m not that great with numbers. It’s something I’m working on.” As I said, this, my necklace glowed even warmer against my heart. I smiled. My healing really was working!
It felt good.
“So if it’s not gold... what is it?” I asked. “Ounces of what?”
I expected him to reply with some kind of Spirit Realm currency, so I was surprised when he spoke. “Peanuts,” he said simply.
I looked down at the printout. “Peanuts?” I repeated. “Seriously?” I scanned the column of employee names. “June” popped out at me. Next to her name, I saw “20 oz.”
“You’re kidding me,” I said aloud. “You’re saying that The Miser and King Midas actually pay their employees peanuts?”
Sam nodded. “I suspect that’s The Miser’s call. You know how he hates to spend money. He’ll do anything to pinch a penny. He takes all the peanuts that weren’t sold on the market and are about to expire, and doles them out to employees as payment. That way he doesn’t waste any of the company's product, and he doesn’t really spend anything, either.”
“But this must make the employees furious!” I said. “Why in the world would anyone work for old peanuts?”
“Employment is hard to come by in the Spirit Realm,” Sam said. “And peanuts are better than nothing, I guess.” He looked over at me. “The employees don’t like it, but what can they do?” He shrugged. “King Midas is constantly talking about raises. He always hints that he’s going to give a big raise to all of his employees. I have a feeling that’s why some of them stick around—they hope that one day soon King Midas really will hand out the big money he’s always saying they deserve. He loves his employees. I have no doubt that he’d shower them with gold if it was up to him.”
I thought over how King Midas treated June. Sam’s observation seemed spot on to me. King Midas seemed to respect and appreciate June. When I first met the two of them, he went on about how wonderful she was.
“So why doesn’t he give out raises?” I asked.
“Because,” Sam said, “The Miser always stops it.”
I bit my lip. I looked down at June’s name again.
I imagined what it would be like, to be in her shoes.
Working for peanuts.
Not just peanuts, which was bad enough, but old peanuts that were about to expire.
My heart raced.
What would she be willing to do to get The Miser out of the picture? The Miser was the only one standing between her and the financial abundance that King Midas promised time and time again.
I stood up. “I have to go!” I said to Sam.
He stood, too. “Where?” he asked me.
My heart pounded with excitement. “I think I just figured out who’s trying to kill The Miser! I have to try to get some info from the Chihuahua I’m dog-sitting for, to make sure I’m not mistaken. Then I’m going to confront her!”
“Who?” Sam called out after me. But I didn’t answer him. I was already halfway across the deck, on my way to my van.
I knew Blueberry Muffin would be outside with Skili, just where I’d left them that morning. I had some questions for my fur and feathered friends—and I was hoping that the answers they provided would give me the final piece to the puzzle I was trying so desperately to solve.
Chapter Twenty
I found Blueberry Muffin and Skili lounging in front of my van. Blueberry was gnawing on a bone, and Skili was nibbling what looked like the crust of a peanut butter and fluff sandwich.
They both looked up as I approached with Sam right behind me.
“What is he doing here?” Skili transmitted to me, as she delivered a piercing glare to Sam.
“It’s okay,” I transmitted to Skili. “He’s not a recruiter. He’s an undercover government agent.”
“That’s even worse!” Skili said as she puffed out her feathers, which made her look larger. She dropped the crust she was working on and snapped her beak.
“He works for the Spirit Realm government, and he’s here undercover to investigate the business that The Miser and King Midas are running. But everything seems to check out. And there was something on the paperwork that caught my eye. June the dog walker is paid in peanuts!”
Skili thought this over.
Sam looked at me. “Everything okay?” he asked. “I assume you’re communicating telepathically?”
I nodded and then focused on Skili again.
She bent down, tore off a piece of her peanut butter topped bread and gulped it down. Then she transmitted. “What’s wrong with being paid in peanuts?” she asked.
“Skili, come on,” I said. “You know. Most beings like to be given actual monetary compensation.”
“I see,” she said. She took in another bite as she transmitted, “But we cleared June’s name. She has an alibi.”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about,” I said. “Blueberry Muffin is the one who got the alibi from Snowflake. I’m wondering if something got overlooked. I think we need to try to clarify a few things. Can you ask Blueberry Muffin a few questions for me?”
“Yes,” Skili said. She abandoned her meal and flew over to the ground near Blueberry. The little Chihuahua looked up from her bone and cocked her head to the side attentively.
Skili began pacing in the dirt in front of her, leaving little scratch marks with her talons as she walked.
“Ask her about the details of Snowflake’s walk by the creek that evening,” I transmitted to Skili. “I want to know if she was actually with June the entire time. I suspect that June snuck off at some point, and I want to confirm it before confronting June.”
I waited while Skili did this. I knew she had to use her mind to tune into Blueberry telepathically. Both animals looked at each other, staring right into each other’s eyes. I knew a transmission was happening and I couldn’t wait to see what the result was.
After a few moments, Skili broke eye contact with Blueberry. She looked at me and said, “You were right.”
“I was?” I transmitted back. I felt excited at the prospect that we might finally be making some progress.
“Yes,” Skili said. “Blueberry failed to mention a few important details to me.”
Skili sounded quite disappointed in our Chihuahua friend. It seemed to me like Blueberry could sense Skili’s disappointment because she was looking down at the ground with a guilty expression. I knelt down and stroked Blueberry’s back a few times, which perked her up.
“It’s okay Blueberry,” I said aloud. “We’re just glad that you’re telling us about this now.”
Sam knelt down beside us. “What’s happening?” he asked.
“This little fur baby was the
one who helped us get the alibi for June,” I told Sam, while still petting Blueberry. “But it sounds like she forgot to mention something important.”
Sam nodded.
I felt Skili begin to transmit more information, so I tuned into her. “Blueberry failed to mention that at one point on her walk, Snowflake laid down in the sun to take a nap. Blueberry said she didn’t think that was important.”
I sprang up to my feet. “But it is!” I transmitted back.
I turned to Sam. “I think June’s the killer,” I said. “I thought she was accounted for during the time that Old Two-Cats was killed, but it turns out that she had a perfect window of opportunity. The dog she was walking took a nap. That could have given June plenty of time to sneak into town, put on the Masked Bandit costume, and shoot Two-Cats. Plus, I know she can use magic; I saw her open a trash can without using her hands. So I know she could have erased Joy’s memory and conjured up the supplies she needed, like duct tape and a ladder. Come on! We have to go get her.”
A quick Location Spell informed us that June was in King Midas' suite, sitting in a chair with Snowflake on her lap. She was running a pink brush repetitively over Snowflake’s glossy hair. We also saw King Midas in the room, and his wife, Polly.
Within a few minutes, Sam, Blueberry Muffin, Skili, and I were all staged outside of the suite’s door.
I spoke in a whisper to the little group. “Okay, you guys, we have to be careful here. She could be dangerous. No one’s found the gun that was used, so she still might have it on her.”
Sam looked serious. “I don’t like this, Marley,” he said. “I’m a trained operative. This isn’t the way we apprehend criminals. I think you all had better stand back while I go in and—”
“Yip! Yip yip yip!” Blueberry had her nose to the crack under the door, and was sniffing, wagging her tail, and barking with excitement.
She’d caught the scent of her friend Polly, I knew, and as usual she was getting fired up about it.
I hear a commotion behind the door. First, Snowflake started barking with excitement. Then I heard June’s voice. “Whoops! Well, I guess the brushing is done!” I imagined that in all the excitement, Snowflake may have jumped off of June’s lap.
“Well, well! Who could that be at the door?” King Midas' voice floated out to us, getting louder and louder. Then the door swung open.
I imagined that the four of us—Sam and I, plus an owl and a Chihuahua, looked like an oddball family huddled together out there in the hallway.
I greeted King Midas and then looked past him to June, who eyed me suspiciously and stood up from her chair. She reached for her purse, which was on the floor near the chair. She clutched it to her chest. Her possessiveness over her bag made me suspicious. She has the gun in there, I thought.
King Midas and Polly seemed oblivious to the looks that were transpiring between June and me. Polly wandered towards the door casually. “Marley! Good to see you. My husband and I have been having the nicest day. I have to thank you, actually. We’ve never been this close.”
She reached out for his arm, and swept her hand along the sleeve of his silk top. His surgical gloves were in place. Instead of reaching for his gloved hand, she simply curled her fingers around his wrist, in a sort of hand holding position.
She went on. “I do have to credit this beautiful center of yours for the healing that occurred between us.”
June inched sideways, along the perimeter of the room. I saw her eyes dart to the various escape avenues—one window, the next, and then the door behind me. She was still clutching her purse.
“Yes! Quite a place you have here,” King Midas said. “I had a marvelous soak in that mud bath you prepared for me. I’ve never felt energy quite like this. High vibes, I say! High, high vibes. The highest I’ve felt in years! Wouldn’t you say, Polly, darling?”
“Oh, yes,” Polly said. “I am going to tell all of our friends and acquaintances about this place. I think our neighbor and her husband should come check out a retreat. What options do you have coming up? Anything to do with—”
She stopped short, as though finally picking up on the tension that sizzled between June and me and my friends. “What is going on here?” she asked. “Is there something we should know about? Why are you here, exactly?”
At that moment, there was a knock on the door behind us, which was halfway open. I didn’t take my eyes off of June, but I heard The Miser’s voice. “What’s the fuss about?” he asked.
I heard him step into the room as he continued talking. “I heard voices over here and figured you must have a visitor. Are we getting ready to leave? King Midas and I have some very important business to take care of at the peanut factory, so we’d best hit the road soon.”
He turned to eye me. He was wearing his tattered brown jacket, and it was looking very bulky around his shoulders. I could tell he was wearing his bullet proof vest beneath it.
“Marley, I’m glad you’re here,” he said in a gruff, complaintive tone that made me feel he wasn’t really glad to see me at all. “I’m very disappointed that we never figured out who has been trying to end my life,” he said. “It’s too late now, we’re going to hit the road soon. But I guess I should at least thank you for trying—even though you didn’t succeed. Sorry that you won’t be getting the gold.”
“Actually,” I said slowly, with my eyes locked on June. “I think we did figure it out. It was June. She’s upset about the way you pay her. She wants more. She figured that if she got The Miser out of the picture, she’d make much more money with her job.”
June froze. All eyes turned to her.
King Midas furrowed his brow. “Is that true, June?” he asked.
“We pay you plenty,” The Miser growled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
In one swift motion, June pulled the old-fashioned revolver from her purse. She aimed it wildly at The Miser as she shouted, “You pay me peanuts!” Her face was beet red. “Do not even try to tell me that’s appropriate! There should be a law against employers like you!”
The gun wavered in her hand as she swung it wildly over to me. “If it wasn’t for your nosey ways, this would all be over by now. You’re the one who’s snooping convinced The Miser to wear that stupid vest. And if it wasn’t for that vest, I’d have finally killed him last night and he’d be out of the way. But no—you had to stick your nose into our private business.”
Everyone gasped. June focused on me. Her eyes, behind her thick glasses, sparked with rage. “You ruined my plan,” she said. She steadied the gun so that it was pointed right at my head.
Then she squeezed her finger down on the trigger, and an explosion of sound erupted in the room.
Chapter Twenty-One
Just as the loud BANG sounded, I saw The Miser throw himself into the path of the bullet.
“No!” he shouted. The word was a deep rumble in his throat.
The bullet collided with his chest. He landed on the floor at my feet and winced with pain as he reached a hand up to feel the breastplate of his vest. “Ow! Hurts like a good punch to the chest, just like last time.”
He opened his jacket, revealing the bullet proof vest. “It’s a good thing I ordered two of these!” he said as he patted the new hole in the fabric.
There was a crash on the other side of the room, and I looked up from The Miser just in time to see Sam tackle June to the floor. He wrestled the gun from her, and then pushed it out onto the open floor. Skili swooped over and picked up the butt of it in her talons. She flew with it to the opposite corner of the room, and then landed on top of it. I knew that she wouldn't let anyone near the firearm.
I hurried over to Sam’s side. He had June’s arms pinned to the ground. I focused on her body, and spoke out in a loud clear voice. “Bind her!” A thick rope appeared out of the thin air and swirled around her body like a cobra might curl around the branch of a tree. The rope tightened more and more, until June’s arms and legs were bound.
“Nice work
,” Sam said, flashing me a smile as he got to his feet. He stuck out his hand, in an offer of a handshake. I grinned, and then pulled him in for a hug. “You too,” I said as I hugged him.
For some strange reason, my necklace glowed warm as we embraced. I didn’t understand why, and I didn’t try to. Maybe there was some healing that was going to take place between Sam and me in the future, or maybe not. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that it felt really nice to hug him.
“I’m really glad you’re not one of Sarin’s recruiters,” I whispered before I released him.
“What’s that?” he asked me.
“Oh, nothing,” I said. “Just—thanks for your help. I’m glad you were here this week. You really helped with this case.”
“I’m really happy I was here, too,” Sam said. He looked deeply into my eyes. “It’s been a pleasure getting to know you, Marley.”
I felt so spacey for a minute. The room around us faded from my awareness, and all I could think about was Sam.
Then The Miser broke into my awareness. He stepped forward, so that he was standing next to me and Sam, and looking down at June. “June, you’re fired,” he said. “And you’re not getting one of our terminated employee severance packages, either.”
“Good!” June spat out. “Because I bet it’s just more old peanuts!”
“It is,” The Miser said.
I turned to look at him. “Maybe you should rethink the way you pay your employees,” I said to him.
He nodded, and considered June’s rope-wrapped body. “Yes, yes, I think we should.” He nodded. “I’ll work on the numbers,”
“I’m sure you will,” I told him. Then I wrapped my arms around him. I felt an unexpected love wash over me for the miserly old man. He sure was cheap, gruff, and rough around the edges, but during the course of the week, I’d started to really care about him. “Thank you for jumping in front of that bullet for me,” I said, as I gave him a loving squeeze. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Well, when you’re the only one in the room in a bulletproof vest, you do have a sort of obligation,” he told me. “I couldn’t just stand there.”
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