by Natalie Ann
He disappeared into his room to get dressed, and Alex followed him and closed the door. Lexi was smiling at the door and shook her head before putting her attention back on Devon.
“You are such a handsome boy. Yes, you are,” Lexi cooed toward him, and I found myself smiling. “I hope my baby is half as handsome as you are.”
“Are you pregnant?”
She grinned at me. “Yes, I am. Almost three months along.”
“That’s wonderful,” I said with a smile. “You mentioned you were engaged. Are you and Alex going to wait until after the baby is born to tie the knot?”
She shook her head. “Nope, we are getting married next weekend.” She eyed me carefully. “Trevor should bring you as his date.”
I barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“Why not? He’s single, and I assume you are single, too. He’s Alex’s best man; he should come with a date.”
I laughed uneasily. “We don’t particularly have the best relationship. I mean, I’m only here to help with Devon anyway. It’s a one-time thing, you know? I’m sure after he picks up all the stuff from Carol’s place, we won’t see each other again.”
“When is he supposed to get the stuff from Carol’s?”
“In a little while. That’s why he’s getting dressed so that we can go over.”
“Were you planning on taking the baby with you?”
“Yes,” I stated.
“Now you don’t have to. Alex and I can watch him. We don’t have any plans until later today, and I’d love to spend time with this little guy. It will give you and Trevor the time you need to get his stuff packed and get to know each other a little better.”
“We don’t need to get to know each other,” I stated.
She shrugged with a grin. “Well, I tried, but I can still watch him for you two.”
I turned away and began to put my laptops back into my bag. “You’ll have to ask his father. I have no say in the matter.”
“Okay,” she responded and directed her attention back to Devon until Alex and Trevor came out of the bedroom. My gaze slipped down the denim-clad legs and then back up to the white t-shirt tucked into the waistband. The blue-and-white long-sleeve flannel over the top of that made his blue eyes brighter. I swallowed and forced myself to look away before I started to drool.
How can any man look that good in flannel and jeans? I mean, come on. I shook my head as Lexi spoke up excitedly. “Alex and I are going to watch Devon this afternoon. So make sure to pack up his diaper bag.”
“What?” Trevor stopped in mid-step, and Alex looked just as surprised.
“Aren’t you and Davina going to get his stuff from his mother’s place?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“So, you can’t watch a baby and move things around. I’ll take him for the afternoon. It will be good practice.”
“Lexi, we have to get Nica in a few hours.”
“Veronica won’t mind. She loves babies, too.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “If that’s what you want, honey.”
“Yes,” Lexi replied quickly, and my gaze shifted to Trevor who looked a little nervous as he stared at Lexi holding the baby.
“Are you sure, Lex? I know you get tired and everything; I don’t want this to wear you out.”
“I’m fine. Alex is too worried about me. Pack his bag, and we can take him with us. Then you’ll have the afternoon to get things together, and you can pick him up from our place later, say around dinner.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Lexi grinned at him, and I saw Trevor relax.
“Okay, thanks, Lexi. It will be easier without having to worry about him.”
I watched as Trevor went through the diaper bag and wandered over his way. “Don’t forget this.” I handed him the wipes. “They are kind of important.”
He glanced my way, smiling so brightly that it almost took my breath away. “Thanks.”
I quickly shuffled off to the side and waited while Alex, Trevor, and Lexi talked about things for the afternoon. There was laughter and smiles amongst the three of them, and I found myself quietly envying them. Carol had been my only real friend, and her absence suddenly felt like a weight tied to my leg in the ocean current.
We were getting ready to leave when Lexi glanced at me and then turned to Trevor. “You know, have you thought about what you are going to do with Devon next weekend for the wedding?”
“Oh, shit!” Trevor muttered. “I didn’t even think about that. I guess I need to find a babysitter.”
I was about to open my mouth and tell him that I might know someone when Trevor turned to me. “Davina, would you be able to watch Devon next weekend while I attend their wedding?”
“Wait, no! You can’t ask Davina to watch Devon,” Lexi said quickly.
“Why not?”
Lexi rolled her eyes. “Because you need a date.”
“I already told you, Lexi, I’m coming alone. Isn’t Clare coming alone, too? We can hang out together.”
I pursed my lips at the mention of another single woman. I had no claim over him, but now that he had a son, shouldn’t he clean up his act?
“Clare has a date,” Lexi said quickly. “A last-minute date, so you shouldn’t come alone.” She turned to me. “You’ll be his date, right?”
“Um, no. I think I prefer Trevor’s idea that I watch Devon instead.”
Trevor grinned. “See, all fixed, and I don’t need a date, Lexi.” He winked at her, and I felt a little bit better about the fact that he was going alone.
I turned away quickly. “Um, I’m going to head back to my place. I’ll meet you at Carol’s in a little while.”
A hand reached out and grabbed my arm. “What’s the address?”
I stared at him. “You don’t even know where she lived?”
He shook his head. “No, I met her places.”
I rolled my eyes. “Why am I not surprised.” I gave him the address, waved goodbye to Lexi and Alex, and hustled out to my car.
At least I’d get a chance to see Devon next week when I babysat him. I frowned as I started my vehicle. Lexi had been trying to get Trevor to invite me as his date. Obviously, I didn’t measure up. My level was babysitter, not date. I sighed; why did it even matter? I wasn’t interested in a man like Trevor Vaughn.
When I got home, I dropped my laptop bag inside the door and went straight to my bedroom. I quickly grabbed a change of clothes and hurried into the shower. I hadn’t had one in two days, and while I knew I would possibly get sweaty moving things around with Trevor, I didn’t want to be dirty and smelly. Not that he would even notice, but I would.
I received a text from him as I got dressed and told him I’d be up in a minute. Carol’s apartment was one floor above mine. I pulled my hair back in my standard messy bun and shoved my feet into sneakers before grabbing my phone and the keys to her apartment.
My stomach rolled as I climbed the steps. Not because I was going to be seeing Trevor again, but because I was going to be stepping into Carol’s place. How many nights had we kicked back on her couch, drank a bottle of wine or something stronger, and watched movies or talked about life? Too many to count.
I turned the corner onto her floor and found Trevor leaning back against the wall staring at her door. He must have heard me because he quickly turned and straightened. His gaze drifted down my body and back up, and I swear that there was something like approval in his eyes as they landed on mine. What did he approve of?
“Sorry,” I said softly as I passed him and went to unlock the door. I turned the key and then paused, preparing myself for the onslaught of memories that would come once I opened it.
“You okay?” Trevor asked quietly from right behind me.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m just—”
His hand touched my shoulder, and he squeezed. “It’s okay, I get it. Take the time that you need.”
I glanced back at him and saw a true understanding in his gaze. It
told me something about him. Told me he understood loss, and that made me a little sad to know.
I inhaled and then pushed open the door, leaving it open behind me as I forced myself to walk into her small living room and look around. I was instantly bombarded with memories. Little blips of time: sounds, words, images all collided with one another trying to get their ten seconds in the spotlight. It made me want to drop to my knees and scream! My eyes filled with tears, and then I felt an arm wrap around my back. A solid warm body stood beside me, and I leaned into it as tears slowly slid down my cheeks.
The pillows that we’d hit each other with, the book that I’d given her for her birthday, the new curtains that we’d hung together, the bag of her favorite candy sitting on the coffee table. All of it screamed at me, and my knees went weak. I felt my body shift, and then strong arms were around me again, holding me tightly as I burrowed into the fabric in front of me. Soft words were spoken, but I only heard Carol’s voice, her laughter, her anguish, her dreams, and her fears.
I sobbed for the second time that day, and as I began to get ahold of myself, I felt something on my head. Had he just kissed my forehead? What was he saying?
“It’s okay, Davina, I got you. I’m right here, sweetheart, for as long as you need me. Let it out, baby, let it out.”
A sob stuck in my throat, not because of my grief for Carol, but because he sounded like he meant the words he spoke, and I knew he didn’t really. I felt his lips on the top of my head again, realized that his arms were holding me so tightly that if I’d lifted my feet off the floor, I would have remained right where I was. One of his hands was holding my head to his chest, and the other curled around my rib cage. That hand was dangerously close to the underside of my breast, and it was as he flexed his hand the slightest bit that I felt it brush the sensitive flesh. Maybe it was because my hormones were all over the place from grief and weird sleeping habits, but my body began to respond to his soft words, his long fingers, the lips in my hair.
I began to move, and the hand holding my head cupped my cheek as I lifted my gaze to his. His blue eyes filled with understanding, and maybe some of his own pain. His thumb brushed away a tear, and then his gaze slowly moved over my face and stopped on my lips. His thumb touched my bottom one, and I felt them part. I was helpless to move, completely at his mercy. His face came closer, pausing less than an inch from my lips, and his eyes found mine. I saw the question in them and gave him my answer as I closed my eyes and leaned forward.
Chapter 11 – Trevor
Davina took off a little faster than I had expected her to, and after Lexi set Devon down in his car seat, she turned to me and swatted my arm. “You men can be so dense sometimes.”
“What did I do?” I asked, completely baffled.
“You asked Davina to babysit Devon for our wedding.”
“Yeah, so? It’s a great idea. She knows him.”
“Trevor,” Lexi sighed, “I thought maybe you would ask her to be your date.”
“What?” I quickly shook my head. “No, Davina definitely would not want to go as my date. She barely tolerates me. She thinks I’m to blame for Carol’s death because I got her pregnant.”
Lexi blinked once, then twice, and cocked her head. “Did she say that?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what she said. Trust me; Davina is not the least bit interested in going out with me.”
“If you thought she was, would you ask her?” Lexi questioned.
I laughed. “She’s not my type, or maybe I should say, I’m totally not her type.”
“Types!” Lexi threw her hands in the air. “Who knows what type of person they should be with. Trust me; I never thought I would be his type.” She pointed at Alex. “But he is totally my type.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not going to happen, Lexi. Why would you even want me to bring a date? I’m quite happy to go alone. I’ve never needed a woman around to make me happy before, so why start now?”
“Whatever,” she muttered frustratedly. “Is the bag packed?”
“Yeah, but are you sure you want to do this? I can take him with me.”
Lexi smiled at me, and all signs of frustration immediately vanished. “I want to watch him. Come over when you’re done; we’ll order pizza before you head home.”
“Thanks, Lexi.” I kissed her cheek, then Alex removed the car seat base from my truck and put it in his. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, but it seemed like instinct to reach in when he was done and make sure it was tight. Of course, he’s the one that had taught me how to install the car seat base in the first place, so I shouldn’t have had to check, but I did. He chuckled softly behind me.
“Be careful with him and call me if there are any problems,” I said as I watched Alex put his car seat into the base.
Lexi put her hand on my chest and patted it. “He will be fine.” She chuckled. “And you thought you wouldn’t be a very good parent.”
I said goodbye and then headed to the apartment building where Davina lived. As I drove, I glanced out the window at some of the houses I passed. Maybe it was time to get a house. Devon would need a room of his own, and it would probably be a good idea to have a room for a nanny to sleep in while I was traveling. So, a three-bedroom house would be good. Plus it would be great to have a yard for us to throw a football around in or kick a soccer ball.
I tried to conjure up an image of an older Devon and picture what sport he might be into. Maybe baseball, or perhaps he’d be more into science and math than sports. Nah, sports. He was going to do sports.
Although being into science and math wasn’t a bad thing. Davina was big into those things, and she appeared to be doing well. Hell, she was working on her master’s degree, so I knew she was doing well. What job had Carol worked? Oh yeah, Davina mentioned marketing. I frowned as I realized there was so much that I didn’t know about his mother, and probably never would.
When I arrived, I found the apartment door and knocked, but there was no answer. I sent Davina a text, and she said she’d be there in a minute. While I waited, I leaned against the wall and tried to picture Carol opening it, smiling widely. Her image was bleary, marred by the time of not seeing her. As I tried to get the image to clear, it morphed into a different one, and Davina formed before my eyes. Her bright whiskey irises sparkled as she smiled up at me, and I could picture myself stepping up close and getting lost in her eyes.
A noise to my side caught my attention, and I quickly straightened when I saw it was Davina. She wore jeans that fit her like a second skin and a t-shirt that was tight in all the right places. Damn, the woman had gorgeous curves.
She went to open the door and paused. I knew exactly why. I’d had the same reaction to going to my friend’s house after he’d been killed overseas. I’d told his parents I would clean the place out for them, and that first time opening the door had been rough. I waited patiently, knowing that it was going to be even worse once she was inside.
After she’d opened the door, she walked straight to the living room and stood there, her head slowly shifting as she took in the room. I entered slower, taking a moment to notice the notes pinned to the bulletin board in the entryway, the neat row of shoes, the two coats on the hooks.
I stepped farther in, glancing into the kitchen. A lone glass sat beside the sink, a thin coat of dust covering it now. A brown dishtowel hung from the oven door. Beside the cordless phone was an array of medication bottles. I walked a little farther in and saw a huge pile of baby stuff in the corner. All boxed up, waiting to be moved.
Scattered around the room were pictures and pieces of Carol’s life, and then my eyes fell on Davina, and I noticed her entire body shake as she began to crumble. I went to her, knowing how much this must have hurt her. I hadn’t known Carol very well, but I was feeling the loss myself.
I pulled Davina into my arms, resting my cheek on the top of her head, inhaling the fresh scent of her shampoo. I closed my eyes and let her cry, hoping that the little bit I was able to
do for her was enough. I didn’t think it was, but it was all I had for her.
I spoke softly to her once in a while, letting her get her grief out, and I allowed my gaze to drift around. There were several pictures of her and Davina on the walls, a few more of landscapes and other friends, and unsurprisingly, several of lightning. Words from her letter drifted into my mind: the storm from the sky. Davina continued to cry softly, and I held her as tightly as I could without smothering her, part of me needing the solace myself.
She felt good in my arms, and I kissed her forehead, then brushed my lips over the top of her hair. A few minutes later, Davina calmed and lifted her face, and I cupped her check, meaning to show her I was there for her, but I got trapped in her whiskey gaze. I felt drawn to her, and I leaned forward.
I suddenly wanted to kiss her, to feel her respond to me. It was like death was around us, and I needed to feel alive. She brought her lips to mine, and the kiss was tentative, soft lips briefly brushing one another before pulling back momentarily. It wasn’t enough, not nearly enough.
One of her hands drifted to the back of my head as our lips touched again, opening slightly as if consenting to me, and our tongues touched exploratorily. I curled my hand around the back of her neck, holding her face in place as I deepened the kiss. Our bodies had already been close together, but we both shifted as if to line them up properly.
The kiss began to consume me, drawing me in as her eyes had done just a moment before. I shifted my other hand, my fingers brushing the underside of her breast, wanting to cover it completely. I wanted to touch every inch of her body, explore what was under her clothing, but I didn’t.
I slowly ended the kiss, reining in the need to have her and forcing myself to calm down. I wasn’t here for this. It wasn’t the right time or place for this. Who knew if it ever would be, but I knew for sure it was not now or here.
I kissed her forehead, held her close, and inhaled deeply. My heart was pounding in my chest, aching for a reason it didn’t quite understand. She sniffed as her arms wrapped around my waist.
