by Natalie Ann
“Sure,” Sherrie replied. “He does look like a daddy holding her.”
Sherrie didn’t miss the look exchanged between Candy and Joey, guessing cynically, She’s probably going to have his kid, while she looked at Candy’s belly.
Fortunately, she had to go take care of another patient, leaving Candy and Joey alone.
“Baby Jane looks content,” Candy murmured.
“She looks like an Annie to me.”
“Annie, where did that come from?” Candy asked, a little more than shocked.
“It just popped into my head. I’m going to call her Annie.”
“What’s the mother’s last name?”
“I couldn’t care less,” he snapped. “That piece of garbage left her to die.”
Surprised at the venom he spewed, Candy didn’t bring up that she’d looked for a saint to pray to and had found Saint Anne. It felt less spiritual, almost creepy. Why would this offspring of a drug addict be called the name that her baby would have if it was a girl baby? Then her animosity flooded her with guilt. Was she jealous of a little baby? There was a lot of jealousy swirling around in that ICU nursery. Maybe she’d better try to pull it together.
“Can I hold her?”
“Sure,” Joey said. “I guess we’d better wait for Sherrie to come back.”
The switch was eventually made, and then Candy attempted to focus on the baby instead of trying to overhear the whispered conversation Sherrie was having with Joey. She was doubly glad she’d done her best to satisfy him in the garage that morning.
After fifteen minutes, the baby started to fuss, and that was enough for Candy. “She probably needs her diaper changed,” Sherrie said, taking her from Candy.
“You ready?” Joey asked, and Candy nodded, getting up from the chair.
They held hands while he told Sherrie he’d be back another day.
“Text me,” she said, with a quick, innocent glance at Candy.
Yeah, not on your life, Candy thought.
Out in the truck, they decided they weren’t dressed appropriately to go out to dinner downtown.
“Let’s just pick something up and eat at home,” Candy said, aware that Joey was breathing a sigh of relief. “You’re probably beat and dying to get into bed.”
“I am exhausted, and our bed sounds really good. So thank you, Candy. You’re always thinking about my comfort. How do you feel?”
“I’m great,” she said. “Happy and excited.”
They’d talked about their baby during their beach hike, and she felt confident that he was sincerely excited about it.
“You’re gonna make a great momma,” he said, kissing her.
They decided on Mexican for dinner, so a local drive-thru took care of food. At home, they discovered that Roberta had outdone herself.
“It’s feeling more and more like home,” Candy said. It was too late to send a text message to thank her, and besides, she was anxious to get Joey into bed so she could search through his phone messages.
By eleven, he was out cold, snoring softly. She grabbed his phone and hid in the guest bathroom. First of all, she shut off the ringer, just in case. Because he was technically always on call, she’d have to switch it back on in case an emergency alert came through. Nervously, she scrolled through the icons until she came to Messages. He hadn’t bothered to add Sherrie’s name, so she scrolled through the phone numbers until she found a message that appeared to be about a baby.
Hey, Baby Jane has her breathing tube out! If you come down to visit, you’ll be able to hold her.
It was almost word for word what he had repeated. Sherrie didn’t think he was smart enough to know what extubated meant, so she’d used the phrase breathing tube. That agitated Candy. But now that she was at the right place, she scrolled back to find the beginning, and that was when she realized they’d been talking since the first time Candy had told her about Joey. They’d been texting for weeks. Somehow, Sherrie had gotten ahold of his cell phone number.
Hi, this is Sherrie Colecki, the nurse caring for the baby you rescued last week. I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I got your number from dispatch.
That fact made Candy’s blood boil. She wondered what excuse Sherrie Colecki the nurse had used to get a private phone number.
How’s the baby doing? I’ve thought of her daily and welcome news of her condition.
So there was the hook. Sherrie would send daily texts updating Joey on Baby Jane’s condition. It wasn’t enough that his wife was there every day, oh no, nurse Sherrie would make it her duty to keep the hot fireman informed.
It appeared he visited the baby only when Candy was aware of it, on days she was there as an intern, and if there was any communication between them outside of the baby’s care, she couldn’t find it on the phone. Only one item concerned her, and that was that it appeared they’d had lunch together on one of those days.
Thanks for lunch!
Surely if there was anything clandestine about it, he wouldn’t have risked getting caught. Unless he’d been there on a day she wasn’t aware of.
Looking up from the phone, she studied the tile on the bathroom wall. Why did other women think it was okay to develop relationships with married men? It made no sense to her. She crept into the bedroom and replaced Joey’s phone next to him, remembering to switch the ringer on again.
Out in the living room, she was dying for a glass of wine. Instead, she made a cup of tea, bypassing the artificial sweetener and putting a heaping teaspoon of honey into it, stirring it until it dissolved. How many sacrifices was she willing to make for her tiny embryo? It was not even that yet, just a zygote. She’d sacrifice anything for it, realizing she was passing judgment on Baby Jane’s mother even though she’d tried to defend her earlier.
How could she leave her baby, even to go to the kitchen to prepare food? Leave her in a box, on the floor of a trash-filled room. Joey had said she’d ceased crying, that the smoke had overcome her tiny body. What if she hadn’t cried originally, and he hadn’t looked for her? The image of the baby in the box diminished the importance of the stupid text messages from Sherrie, and the fact that Joey had eaten a meal with her.
Reaching for her missal again, she wanted to find wisdom that would carry her through the confusion. It was silly, but she wanted to proceed wisely, not accuse him, not even broach the topic if need be. Although medicine technically did not make her a scientist, she was a critical thinker like one and wanted to approach her marriage that way rather than viscerally. Trying to look objectively at what she had felt in the nursery today with Sherrie and Joey, and what she had later discovered, seemed to point to one thing. She had to tell him what she felt. When Sherrie was whispering to him, it felt disrespectful. What was she saying to him that necessitated secretiveness unless it was something that didn’t include her?
“Here you are.”
She looked up, and there was her husband in all his glory, naked from the waist up, his body amazing, scratching his head.
“And there you are,” she replied, smiling.
“Are you going to be up long?”
“I’m not tired at all, so for a while. What’s up?”
“I need to talk to you,” he said.
“Come sit. Can I make you a cup of tea?”
“I’d love tea. I miss tea at night and never think to make it for myself when I’m at the station.”
She moved toward the kitchen. “I’ll remind you from now on,” she said, curious about what would bring him out of the bedroom after midnight.
As she carried two cups into the family room, he got up to take one from her.
“Thank you,” he said, waiting for her to sit down.
They sat in silence for a while. The window in the den had a view of the eastern foothills covered with lights from houses and a few businesses. It was the view that had sealed the deal of the house.
“I can look at that view for the rest of my life,” she’d said.
It wasn�
�t that impressive during the day, but the expansiveness of it grabbed them both.
“Look at that view,” Joey finally said.
She turned her head to look out the window. “It’s why we bought this house.”
“I mean you,” he said. “I love you, Candy. I’m excited about our baby, too. We kind of got sidetracked this evening with the visit and everything.”
“It was nice to see the baby. I’m glad we got to do it together.”
“I’m sorry it got a little weird there with the nurse. I want to explain.”
Candy’s heart revved up a few points. So he was going to confess something without her saying a word. “Okay, I’m not sure I follow you.”
“The whispering and that BS with Sherrie this evening. That was wrong. I was uncomfortable with it, and I wanted to apologize for it.”
“Thanks. It did make me feel excluded, like you two had something together I wasn’t aware of.”
“Shall I tell you what it’s about?”
“Ah, yes! Now you have to,” she said, laughing.
“Well, they’re already talking about a foster home for Annie. They’ve asked me if we might consider having a home inspection to become a licensed foster home.”
Speechless, Candy just looked at him, thinking about what he’d said. “How did that ever come about? Why would they randomly approach you?”
“It actually started with you,” he said, smiling. “When you went up to see the baby in the unit, the wheels started turning in the nurses’ minds that you might be a potential foster parent. Then when you told Sherrie I had rescued the baby, and then with me seeing her at least weekly, that pretty much did it. Sherrie stayed in touch regarding her progress.
“Every time I went to see her, I’d have a discussion about fostering her with someone from the nursing staff or Child Protective Services. I had lunch with a woman from the state Child Protective Services and Sherrie last week.
“I was just going to approach you about it when you surprised me with the news of our own baby this morning. Sherrie asked me again today if I’d talked to you about it, but I know it must be out of the question now.”
“I’m stunned,” Candy said. “I thought she was flirting with you.”
“She is sort of flirty, but in a harmless way. Her husband is a nurse in the ER at Palomar.”
“No way. I wonder if my dad knows him.”
“I don’t know. You should ask. Anyway, there you have it. We’re being offered a chance at helping out Baby Jane Doe.”
She looked over him, wondering why he was using that name. “Are they talking about discharging her already?”
“No, she’s going to be in the hospital for a while. They wouldn’t send an infant out on a monitor.”
“If we decided to take her, how would we manage? I mean, I’m gone all day, and you’re really away when you work. We’d have to get full-time childcare. Would they let us foster her with the understanding that someone else would be caring for her?”
“I don’t know. They know we’re both gone during the day, so I’m guessing they would be okay with it.”
“Now add the caveat that the mother wants her back,” Candy said. “That sounds like a recipe for heartbreak to me.”
“We don’t have to make any decisions right now, but let’s just think about it, okay? And then if the opportunity arises, we’ll know if it’s for us or not. But I need to be honest with you. I really want to take her.”
“You can’t mother the world, Joey,” Candy whispered.
“What does that mean?”
“Every time we see some poor pathetic creature that needs us, we won’t be able to rescue every one. It’s not possible.”
“Candy, I know that. Believe me, this isn’t the first time I’ve run across something that broke my heart, that if I hadn’t lived at home with Roberta and Big Mike, I would have intervened. This is the first time I can do something that won’t mean asking mommy and daddy if I can do it.”
“No, you just have to ask your pregnant wife,” Candy said, smiling.
She put her teacup down and crawled over to him, getting into his lap. “I’m so lucky,” she whispered. “How did I ever catch a guy like you, a loving, handsome, hot guy like Joey Saint? Someone up there must really like me.”
“I’m the lucky one,” he said.
Yawning, Candy rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m ready to call it a night.”
He stood up abruptly with her in his arms, and she screamed, letting him carry her to the bedroom.
Chapter Five
The hectic pace of medical school had picked up by mid November, and Candy had to decide where she wanted to do a residency and in what specialty. Sitting down with paper and pencil, she wrote her choices down for a pediatric residency—UCSD, Rady, Scripps. She wouldn’t hold her breath, because the match wouldn’t happen until March.
The internship at Rady added to the chaos, but she faithfully checked in on Baby Jane Doe every time she was there, no matter how busy school got. After Joey’s confession, she waited for Sherrie to approach her, but nothing was said about becoming a foster parent, so she forgot about it.
Then the magic six-week date arrived; she was officially six weeks pregnant. The risk to miscarry dropped somewhat, and she excitedly waited for Joey’s day off so they could make the announcement together.
“Are we still going to tell everyone on Thanksgiving?”
“That would be perfect,” Joey exclaimed. “The whole family will be there.”
“Oh, I’m so excited!”
Feeling great too, she lost a few pounds after her diminished appetite took hold. There were so many things to worry about now: the baby’s safety, getting through medical school while pregnant, starting a residency, too. Did she really need to add becoming a foster parent to Baby Jane to the list?
Joey’s behavior perplexed her. Although he hadn’t come right out to say he was doing it for Baby Jane, Candy had surmised that the extra effort he’d put into doing the final unpacking and decorating, especially in the nursery, was to benefit the foster parent inspection he insisted on having “just in case.”
Thanksgiving finally arrived. Roberta loved the holidays and put more than one hundred percent into the effort she made to please her family. Everyone was invited, including about half the firehouse staff who didn’t have local families to visit or invite to dinner.
Joey had worked the night before, and Candy waited at home for him to return. Later that morning they’d walk over to Big Mike and Roberta’s together. They’d share the news of the next little Saint coming in almost seven months. She imagined her mother-in-law’s surprise. Everyone knew Joey was her favorite son, so any child he had would be doted upon unmercifully. She giggled at the thought, almost feeling sorry for the little guy.
At nine, she finally heard the garage door open. The living room window faced the front of the house, and she watched his sparkling truck pulling into the driveway. Confusingly, a maroon sedan followed the truck, parking behind him. Her view of the driver was blocked by Joey’s truck, so she waited to see if someone would emerge. She stepped behind the drapes to peek out when Joey appeared, walking toward the car. Then the driver’s door opened, and Sherrie got out.
Her heartbeat increased exponentially. She realized it wasn’t just shock that had caused it, she was angry, too. Angry at Sherrie for interloping, and angry at Joey for not warning her that he was bringing company.
Rather than open the door for him, the loving wife waiting for her knight in shining armor’s return, she’d go back to the bedroom to wait, not wanting to hear his explanation in Sherrie’s presence.
Narrowed eyes looking back at her from her reflection made her laugh out loud. She was unable to hide what she felt inside, ever.
“Hey, here you are,” he said, coming to her to kiss. “How are you?” Without waiting to hear how she was, he launched into his explanation. Joey was already ready with a rationalization. “You’ll never gu
ess who’s here. I stopped for gas at the corner, and Sherrie was there, on her way home from the store.”
“Sherrie the nurse?”
“Yes. She followed me home so we could talk about becoming foster parents.”
“On Thanksgiving?”
“It’s as good a time as any, isn’t it? Little Annie is in the hospital alone today with no one to be grateful for her. I’m really ready to make the move to get her.”
“Joey, I’m not ready.”
“Candy, please. It’s what I want. She deserves a home with parents who cherish her.”
“But what about me? What about what I want? The bulk of her care will fall on me, Joey, and I’m not sure I can do it.”
“Just hear her out, Candy. That’s all I’m asking.”
Seething, he’d put her on the spot. They’d had the perfect relationship, the perfect marriage up until now. All her dreams had come true, from going to medical school to having someone like Joey Saint fall in love with her and marry her, getting pregnant right away, and now this!
“I feel like you’re obsessing over it,” she said.
“Will you come out and listen to her?”
“What choice do I have now? If I don’t, I’m a bitch.”
“I never said that.”
“You won’t have to. If I don’t come out, it’ll be all over the hospital by morning.”
She looked at him one last time and marched around him, fuming. A small hint that she might be overreacting had surfaced during her march to the living room, so she quickly tried to pull it together for Joey’s sake. The shrewish wife was not a good look for her, and she didn’t want him to be embarrassed.
“Hi, happy Thanksgiving!” Sherrie had a grin on her face that might be a little too all knowing, and Candy wanted to slap it off, but she just smiled and waited for Joey. She’d say nothing and let those two run the show since it appeared they were in collusion.
“I explained to Candy that you wanted to talk to us about fostering the baby.”
“That’s right, Candy. Nothing has changed regarding her guardianship. Her mother is out of the picture, and no one has stepped forward to claim paternity although attempts were made to find out who he is by the CPS. There are no family members willing to take her, and truly, that doesn’t seem to be in her best interest.
