by Dianne Keep
Bree blinked. “I fainted?” Why was everyone staring at her with horror? She vaguely remembered drinking something that made her mind fuzzy. Keir Ryne convulsed on the rug. “What’s wrong with your father?”
Khrisk’s thumbs stroked her cheeks. “He drank too much imperia.” He had tears in his eyes. Why was he so upset?
Ehre poured something hot on the cut inside Bree’s elbow. Bree winced. Whatever it was turned cold. Looking down, clear liquid dripped on the floor from what looked like a tiny scratch. She touched it. “What’s this?”
Khrisk peeked at her arm and sighed. “We needed to make sure your cut doesn’t get infected.” He left her and went to his father. Her alhor stuck to him until he touched his father’s chest. Amber light flickered under Ryne’s jacket. There was something she knew about that light.
Emptiness choked her.
Khrisk radiated peace, comfort, and trust, but he stayed just beyond her reach. Sharp pangs stung her eyes. She wiped them, but there was no moisture. Why was she feeling sad? Her cage needed mending. She forced herself into numbness.
Ehre wrapped the prince’s arm with a white cloth. “Not my best binding ceremony.” She tied two knots, and Bayan pulled his sleeve down. He kept his eyes averted.
Something was wrong.
A chill crept around Bree’s feet, climbing her legs until it rested on her chest. She couldn’t move her arm. “Do I need a bandage?”
Ehre pulled a cloth from her robe, wiped Bree’s arm, and tied a cloth around the wound. “I’ll take you to the tower.”
“Wait until my brother has recovered.” Osling perched his ear over Keir Ryne’s mouth. “He’s still breathing.”
“Should I help him?” Bree studied Ehre’s face.
Her tutor’s eyebrows furrowed. “What ails him is not for you to heal.”
Bayan and Khrisk paced the floor while the Resh returned to his desk. Ehre and Nathan whispered. Bree tapped her feet and counted the seconds, focusing on the snakes circling Ryne’s body.
They waited half an hour.
Ryne groaned and pushed himself into a sitting position. “Have I ever told you how creepy those snakes are?”
Osling slapped his desk. “Time again and over. I thought I’d have to bury you.”
“I’ve many years ahead of me.” Redness edged the scar on Ryne’s neck making it look like a new wound just healed. “Missed the ceremony, I see. How do you feel, Bree, bound to your new Honor?”
“Outside myself.” Clasping her hands, she dug her nails into her palms. The room closed in around her. She sighed. “I’m overwhelmed.”
Ryne nodded. “As any girl feels when her life has begun.” He held his hand out. “I need a hand up.”
Khrisk helped his father and hugged him fiercely. “You won’t do that tomorrow.”
“I hope not.” With three hardy pats to Khrisk’s back, Ryne let his son go. “Have we drunk in joy for the happy couple? I could use a drink.”
The room spun. Bree had to leave. “I need to go to bed.” She walked over to Bayan. “Goodnight.” Not waiting for his answer, she turned to the rest, and said, “Good evening.”
Her feet stopped at the closed double doors. Come on Ehre! She clasped the amber gem. It seared her skin.
Look at it. See, the girl whispered.
Blood pumped beneath the white strip of cloth knotted at her elbow. She glanced at the gem. Another tiny crack at the top broke its shiny surface. Two cracks.
Memories gnawed at the fog inside her mind as pain slashed her forehead in half. She rubbed her temples.
What am I missing?
The girl didn’t answer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
On the walk back to her tower, Bree’s alhor skipped ahead, dousing lanterns and swishing curtains like a breeze in the empty hallways. Her clouded mind couldn’t arrange her thoughts properly, except one. Khrisk was leaving tomorrow and he might never come back. A mutated wild cat might shred him the first day.
Shane opened the thick metal door to her tower bedroom. “Goodnight, my star. Sleep well.” The other quad members gave him curious glances.
Bree nodded. “Thank you, Captain Shane. Goodnight.” She closed the door but didn’t hear its bolts click behind her. “Tosha?” Her bedroom lanterns weren’t lit. “Are you here?”
A shadow moved in the corner by the balcony curtains. “Sorry your night was so terrible,” Khrisk said.
Her heart leapt like it would break through her ribs. “You’re sorry? I’m bound to Bayan, and I don’t love him.” Bree went to the dressing room. “Where’s Tosha?”
“She’s out.” Khrisk came to her side. “I wanted to speak with you before the Ranking.” Taking her hand, he led her to the chairs. “Will you sit with me for a while?”
“Don’t you need to be sleeping? Big day tomorrow.” She wanted to be with him, but he confused her and made her forget important things. He offered comfort for her sadness, but for a price, and she didn’t want to pay it anymore.
“You have some time before Gallie comes.” He patted the seat. “Please sit with me.”
Her strength to resist gave out. She sat but couldn’t look at him. Instead, she admired the glowing stargazers on her nightstand, shimmering like moonlight.
“You like those?” Khrisk’s breath kissed her cheek. Her alhor had already covered him.
“This is the first time I’ve got to see them alight. They’re beautiful.”
“Yes, very.” He inched closer. “But not, I think, as beautiful as you.”
That was enough. “You’re marrying Karra Elissa. Don’t say things like that to me.”
“Why not? Everyone thinks so. I’m telling you because it’s true.”
“Then tell me something else that is true. Do you love her?”
He leaned back in his seat and ran his hands through his hair. “No. She’s nicer than most court girls, though, and her family isn’t completely corrupt. Is that honest enough for you?”
“Then why do you act like you and her have been in love for centuries?’
“Because I’m supposed to act that way. And I’m not centuries old.” He winked. “Don’t you ever act a certain way, say certain things because everyone expects you to?” He gave her a sly smile.
“I guess. Is that what you’re doing now? Saying things to me because someone expects you to?”
“Ah, no. I don’t think I’m supposed to be here telling you you’re beautiful. No one really expects that.” Crossing his arms, his face went serious. “Heard you activated a comm disk today.”
“How do you know its name?”
“It’s a disk and you can communicate with it. Comm disk.”
“Fine. A comm disk.” Why was she irritated? This was Khrisk. He was alone with her in her bedroom. He might die tomorrow, and she couldn’t be more upset with him.
“How did you do it?” he asked.
“With my magic.”
“Ha. Ha. Tell me how you managed your magic to activate it.”
Bree crossed her arms. “I don’t know. I touched the disk. It turned on.”
Khrisk rubbed his chin. “Just like that?”
“The first time I activated the disk, I had just looked at some jewelry from a historical book. It’s like something opened. I can’t always control what the magic does, but my talents seem to be returning.”
“Try to turn this one on.” He pulled a comm disk from his pocket.
“Right now?”
Placing the disk in her hand, he said, “Right now.”
Bree concentrated on the disk, but nothing happened. “Um, I guess my talents aren’t completely returned.”
“Try thinking of the jewelry again.”
She thought of the glittering gold jewelry with the tiny circles inside of each other. Tyras had design them. Tyras of Ara. She had a look-a-like set now, and its touch was warm, warmer than Khrisk’s comfort. She hadn’t thought of that before. The disk beeped.
“Was it the jewelr
y Fara gave you?” His gaze intensified.
“Yes, and the original set. From the book.”
He stood, taking the active disk with him. He pressed the button to stop the beeping. “You healed me today too. What were you thinking when you did that?”
Standing, she went to her nightstand and stroked the stargazer’s velvety petals. Tingles shot up her arm. “I saw the blood, and I healed you. I knew I could, like I’d done it a thousand times before.”
“That’s it? You didn’t have any visions.” Khrisk stood right behind her. She could fell his heat through her dress.
“I saw broken bodies everywhere, and I think I had healed them at some point in my life. I don’t know if the charm is still stable.” The stargazers moved under her hand like a cat wanting to be stroked again. “I see things. I know I do things. Then I forget.”
“We wondered. Ehre mentioned you’d been having trouble.” He turned her to face him and inspected the amber gem. “Two cracks. That means something. Ehre assures us the charm is strong.” His hands went to the Honor chain. “Do you want to remember?”
“Yes and no.” With him so close, she didn’t want to remember, but the power under her ribs begged her to.
“How do you feel when we’re together?”
“Did Ehre give you an incantation for reading thoughts?”
“Even if she did, I couldn’t perform it.” He tapped the veins in his wrist. “No blood magic.”
“There’s magic in your blood.” Her heart thudded. She stared at her slippers. “I can feel it.” She wouldn’t be able to stand being anywhere near him once she was married, or Bayan would have her thrown into the dungeons.
Khrisk tilted her head. “Look at me.” His hands caressed her face. “I feel it too.” A deep sigh escaped him. “I don’t think I can stop myself. Not tonight.”
His lips touched hers, tentatively. Withdrawing, he whispered, “You call to me. Every time I see you, I want to be right where you are.”
Words left her. Her body was on fire, but a different kind of fire. Not the charm’s painful scorch, but something entirely new. “Kiss me again.”
He did. His hands roamed her neck, shoulders, back, drawing her closer. Everywhere he touched, she felt free for the first time in months. Then his lips left hers, making trails down her neck.
He stopped when his lips met the Honor chain.
“Don’t stop. I need you close,” she breathed.
“You’re Bayan’s now.”
“Never. It’s not possible. I can’t. You can’t.” She couldn’t live like this. Not confused and forgetful and alone. Even with Bayan, she’d be alone. “I’ll tell Bayan tomorrow and you’ll tell the Resh and Elissa, and they’ll have to deal with it.”
Khrisk took five steps back, taking his deliciousness with him. Her body felt starved.
“I should go.” He walked to the other side of the bed. “This isn’t fair to you.”
“Fair to me? What is fair? Do you think this is fair?” She pulled the amber gem up, trying to lift it above her head. It stopped at her nose. “Do you think sending all those boys, those young men out to meet their deaths is fair?”
Khrisk knew all the answers but he would never share them with her. And he wouldn’t stay. She read it like a sentence on his face.
“Gallie will be here any moment.” Khrisk raked a hand through his hair. “The sun is almost gone. Look at me, please. I have to say something.”
Her eyes locked with his. “I will always want you. Always. But I’m not allowed. I bring things out in you that we aren’t prepared for yet. Bayan is safer. We’ll all be safer if you’re with him, not me.”
How could he say that to her? “Safer? What is that supposed to mean? How can I be better for Bayan? He’s the heir! Without the charm, I might go on murdering people. Does the Resh believe I won’t harm Bayan if the charm fails? Because we all know what I’m capable of.”
“I need you to listen.” Khrisk’s eyes filled with determination. “Are you listening?”
“You’re the only other person in the room, Khrisk.”
“I am, but I still need you to listen.” He smiled his wonderful smile. “You must forget I came tonight.” His hand rested on her arm, on the exact spot where Ehre sliced her earlier. “You don’t want to remember me, or your past. You want to marry Bayan.”
Fear, regret, and something else crossed his features. “I’ll be gone after the Ranking. You must forget me. Do you understand?”
A fog crept over Bree’s thoughts. Molten energy burned in her middle.
Don’t forget, whispered the girl.
I won’t.
Heat pulsed in her veins, a happy heat. Khrisk was hers. She was his. No one could take that away from her, not even him.
Say what he wants us to say.
“What were you saying?” Bree rubbed her temples. “Why are you here? Where’s Tosha?”
Sadness marred his beautiful face. “She went out. She’ll be back soon. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He might not have wanted to succeed in convincing her.
“I’m fine,” Bree said. “Tired, but fine. Be safe for me tomorrow?” Don’t forget. His lips touched ours. He wants us.
Khrisk bowed. “I’ll try my best. Sleep well, Superior.”
“You also.”
I will remember.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Bree’s dream of burning to ashes with Khrisk continued throughout the night. Today, she’d have to watch him voluntarily offer himself as a possible mutated monster meal. He said he’d be gone after the Ranking, so he must be planning to disappear at the closing of the contest before the ending ceremonies. He could do that. He’d already proven himself to Rysa once. To take part in a second Ranking was pure madness.
But why would he have to leave in the first place? He just returned from his mission. Was the Resh sending him out on another so soon? Or was something else going on?
She couldn’t let him go without her.
“Tosha?” She flipped the covers back. She was sticky with sweat. “Tosha?” The dressing room door was open, but Tosha wasn’t there.
Bree bathed and dressed in the Ranking outfit chosen by Bayan. When she had tried it on with him the stitching hadn’t been completed. The pants and jacket were deep brown with faint blue circles stitched into the entirety of the material.
She brushed and braided her hair, tying the end with a strip of leather. She looked around and found her boots stuffed under the wardrobe, and the box holding the necklace and bracelet with the circle pendants. The pieces were already warm when she touched them.
“It suits you,” said Bayan from the door to her room. He wore the same outfit, but the added mesh lining in his made the collar stand up, protecting his neck. He turned around to take a breakfast tray from Shane, and she saw a bright blue circle was stitched on the back.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” said Bree. “You haven’t seen Tosha hiding out there have you?”
“You’ve lost your maid?” Bayan tsked. “I decided to bring your breakfast this morning. You should have gloves. It’s chilly out.”
She glanced around the vanity and dug through the wardrobe, only to find them behind an obscure box Tosha had hid under the wardrobe. “Got them.” She grabbed some sweet mint leaves to chase the ashy taste from her mouth before returning to her room.
“Please, sit.” Bayan set the food on the small table between the chairs.
Memories from last night replayed. The disappointment she’d seen in Bayan’s eyes was no longer there. It was something more like resignation.
“Thank you for bringing me breakfast.” She sat, picked up her plate and started shoving food in her mouth without looking at what Cook had prepared.
“Hungry much?” Bayan poured neyne over his hot cakes and sausage. “This will be my last hot meal for the next three days. I ordered my favorite. Seems it’s your favorite too.”
She’d cleaned her plate and reached for her steaming c
up of tea. “It was delightful. Cook is extraordinarily talented.”
“She is.” He sipped his cup. “I wanted to speak with you about our upcoming wedding. I understand Ehre told you it will be the day after the Ranking ends.”
“Yes.” Her breakfast wanted to escape the confines of her stomach. Did they have to talk about this now?
Bayan ate the rest of his cakes. “How do you feel about it?”
“About the wedding?”
“That, and me. How do you feel about me?” He drank his tea, staring at her over the rim.
Her heels bounced. Be honest?
“Please,” Bayan said. “Be honest.”
“I’d prefer not to be married.”
“To me, or in general?”
“To you, and I feel, in general.” That was honest enough. She was already telling him she didn’t want him, why add that she wanted Khrisk? Would she marry Khrisk?
“I think, without my memories, I’m not really me. I’m the person everyone is telling me I am, but that person isn’t real, is she?” Her words echoed in her chest. The ache there throbbed. She could never be herself without her past.
“How do you feel about me, then?” His face told her nothing.
Was he going to tell her to forget this conversation like Khrisk had last night? She couldn’t remember Bayan blurring any of her thoughts. “You’re a nice person, as far as what you’ve shown me. But I don’t know you very well, do I?”
Bayan tilted his head back and laughed. “You don’t. I don’t know you either. Not really.” He placed his cup on the table. “It’s good to know how you feel. I should have asked you earlier.”
“Maybe. But I’m not sure I would’ve answered you honestly.” He might die today knowing that she didn’t love him and didn’t want to marry him. Shouldn’t his heart be broken?
“If I could tell you how I feel, I would, and you wouldn’t look so sad about not loving me.” He grabbed her hand, leaned in, and inspected the amber gem. “All will be as it should soon enough.”
The fiery lattice didn’t appear, and for the first time, Bree felt like she could really trust him.
