by Tara Wyatt
He pulled away, his chest heaving as he gulped down air, and he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, his fingertips leaving a tingling warmth in their wake. “I don’t know how to stay away from you,” he said, his voice raw.
She bit her lip and gazed up at him, her heart beating hard and fast in her chest. “I don’t think you’re supposed to,” she said softly. His features were tight with longing, his brow furrowed, his eyes bright. “I should be angry right now. I should be hurt and disappointed. But I’m not. Because I don’t think we’re supposed to stay away from each other.”
“Willa,” he moaned and then dipped his head, kissing her again, slowly, like he was savoring every single slide of his tongue against hers. She traced her fingers over his taut stomach, seeking out the ridges and valleys covered in a layer of soft cotton.
The elevator jerked and shuddered and then began slowly descending. The jolt was enough to bring her back to reality and panic started to spiral through her. This was the part where he’d push her away again, wasn’t it? Where he’d reject her because this was nothing but a game to him, and she was nothing but a toy.
He lowered her leg back to the floor and then bent and picked up her phone, handing it to her. She took it with a small smile and adjusted herself, smoothing her hands over her blouse and pants. She could feel the weight of Max’s gaze on her.
The elevator chimed and the doors slid open. “This is me,” she said stiffly, wanting to put some space between them before he had the chance to reject her again. She wasn’t sure her bruised heart could take it, especially after the sheer joy of having his mouth on hers again after two long months. She stepped out of the elevator and started to walk away, a heaviness descending on her.
“Willa, wait!”
Unable to stop herself, she glanced back to find Max standing on the threshold of the elevator, his palms on the elevator doors, holding them open. God, he was so unbelievably sexy, all stretched out like that, giving her an unobstructed view of his broad, muscled frame.
“Have dinner with me. Tonight.”
She turned and took a step back toward him. “What kind of dinner? The kind where you try to let me down gently?”
He closed his eyes briefly and then shook his head. “I can’t blame you for thinking that,” he said. “But no. The kind of dinner where I take you on a date. Where we can talk.”
She swallowed thickly and licked her lips. “Tell me now if you’re just going to reject me again, because I don’t think I can take—”
He stepped out of the elevator and cupped her face, kissing her in front of she didn’t even know how many people. All the conversation around them died away almost instantly.
“Like I said,” he murmured, his thumbs stroking over her cheekbones. “I don’t know how to stay away from you. So I’m done trying.” He kissed her again, a sweeter, softer kiss. “Have dinner with me. Please.”
She nodded, pulling in a shaky breath. “Okay. Dinner.”
He kissed her forehead in a shockingly tender gesture and then let her go, stepping back and pressing the call button for the elevator. She could feel several pairs of curious eyes on her, but she didn’t care. She waited until he’d disappeared inside, feeling as though everything had just been flipped upside down and turned inside out.
Max was Mr. 23.
Max wanted to take her on a date.
Max, who still had secrets and a past and was her boss.
Max, who thought he needed to stay away from her for mysterious reasons.
Max, who she already knew she was going to give her heart to.
12
Sitting alone at the table he’d reserved at the best sushi restaurant in all of Manhattan, Max smoothed a hand over the front of his black button-down shirt, wondering if he should’ve worn something else. He’d tried on four other shirts before finally deciding on this one and pairing it with gray dress pants. All of the others—the green collared shirt, the gray V-neck sweater, the gray button down, the dark blue long-sleeved shirt—hadn’t seemed quite right.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this nervous about…anything. He’d had important meetings with investors that had made him way less anxious than he was feeling right now. He’d been on plenty of first dates, he’d fired people, he’d taken a major tech company public, and had handled all kinds of difficult situations in both his personal and professional life. And none of them had made him feel like this, like he might throw up because breathing was making him nauseous.
Then again, none of those other things had been Willa. None of those other things had mattered, truly. Not the way she did. She’d always mattered. And while he wasn’t one to look for signs or messages from the Universe or whatever, the fact that she was Fresh Princess had to mean something. Had to be proof that as terrifying as it was, she was supposed to be in his life. They’d been matched with staggering compatibility and the weeks of messages had only served to deepen his feelings for her.
He pulled out his phone and scrolled back through the hundreds and hundreds of messages he’d exchanged with her over the past few weeks, smiling to himself as he reread some of them. Now that he knew Fresh Princess was Willa, it made total sense as to why he’d been so drawn to her. Why he’d thought she was warm and sweet and adorable and it felt so fucking good just talking to her. Because that was Willa. She was the only person he’d ever met who felt like pure sunshine. The only person he’d ever met who’d made him feel less broken than he believed himself to be.
He’d meant it when he’d told her earlier that he didn’t know how to stay away from her. He’d tried for two months and it had been pure hell. Absolute torture. In the back of his mind, he knew he still probably shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t push her away again. He didn’t have the strength, both for his own selfish reasons and because the thought of hurting her again made him want to throw up. And that meant he was left with only one option: try. Try like hell to move past the broken shards of his past, for her sake. Try to see himself as someone worthy of being with a woman like her. Try to give her what she needed. He had to, for her. For them.
God. Them. Just the thought had his stomach tightening, heat warming him from the inside out.
He glanced up from his phone and spotted her weaving her way between the tables towards him. The sight of her was like an electrical jolt to his system, leaving him tingling and hyperaware of his body, as though he could feel every single nerve ending. She lifted her hand in a wave, shooting him a tentative, almost shy smile. Slipping his phone back in his pocket, he stood as she approached.
“Hi,” she said, biting her lip. She held out her hand as if intending to shake his hand, then dropped it, then shifted on the spot. “Um…”
“Hi.” He grinned and made the decision for her, sliding his arms around her waist and dipping his head, kissing her gently. He forced himself to pull away after only a couple of seconds, not wanting to embarrass her in public. A sudden thought occurred to him as he moved around the table to pull out her chair for her.
Note to self: first thing tomorrow, find that elevator security cam footage and erase it.
Not because he was ashamed of what had happened between them in the elevator—he definitely wasn’t—but because he didn’t want anyone else seeing Willa like that. He realized it was because he was already thinking of her as his. His woman to protect and care for.
God, he’d done a fucking fantastic job of that so far, hadn’t he? It showed just how messed up he was that the Universe or fate or whatever the hell was out there had sent him a fucking angel and his response had been, yeah, no thanks. I’m too busy flagellating myself over something that happened eight years ago.
He didn’t want to live like that anymore. Finding out that Willa was Fresh Princess had cracked something open inside him, letting light shine where it hadn’t for a very long time.
He helped Willa tuck in her chair, and then ducked his head and pressed a quick kiss to the juncture whe
re her neck and shoulder met. She let out a shivery gasp, her head tipping to the side slightly, and a thrill roared through him. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough of the way she responded to him. It was completely addictive, and he’d happily turn into a junkie for the sake of her pleasure.
“You look absolutely beautiful,” he murmured, allowing himself one more kiss, one more inhale of her delicate floral scent before returning to his seat across the table.
She blushed and tucked a stand of hair behind her ear. She was wearing it in loose curls that brushed against her jaw. Her dress was a pale yellow with blue and green watercolor splotches on the skirt that became darker and more intense closer to the hemline. He swallowed thickly, already picturing that dress on his bedroom floor later tonight, hope soaring through him. The thought of having her again was enough to make his pants tight, his blood pounding through his veins, but he knew he was getting ahead of himself. Just because she’d agreed to dinner didn’t mean she’d be going home with him.
“Thanks, so do you.” She laughed softly, shaking her head. “I mean, you look nice too.” She cleared her throat and toyed with the chopsticks on the table. “Sorry. I’m nervous.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I—” But he broke off as a waiter approached with a pot of green tea along with a carafe of sake.
“I’ve always wanted to try this place,” she said, picking up the teapot and pouring a cup for him first and then one for herself. “I’ve heard it’s amazing. In fact, I think the chef was featured on—”
“Worth the Buzz,” he finished, nodding. “He was.”
She nodded and bit her lip again, smoothing her hands over her skirt. “So, um. I don’t really know where to start,” she said, gazing at him across the table. The way the low lighting caught her hazel eyes made them look like deep, burnished gold. Like treasure. He didn’t know how it was possible for someone to be that fucking beautiful, but she was. “But we do have a lot to talk about.”
“Why don’t we start at the beginning?” he suggested, his heart hammering in his chest.
“What do you consider the beginning?”
He reached across the table and took her hand, tracing his thumb over her knuckles. This was it. This was his shot to try to make things right. His pulse pounded in his temples, a surge of adrenaline rushing through him.
“Ever since you started working for Tapp, I’ve been attracted to you. The second I first laid eyes on you, I thought you were so incredibly beautiful, Willa. And then, as we worked together and I got to know you, I saw how smart and kind and incredible you are.”
The corner of her mouth pulled up. “Good to know my feelings weren’t as one sided as I thought.”
He shook his head. “Definitely not. But I have a rule about not getting involved with employees.”
Her brows drew together. “Is that why you were so cold to me the morning after…after the invasion?”
He sighed, guilt weighing on him. “Yes and no.”
She opened her mouth, but the waiter returned with their first course, delicately sliced salmon and tuna on warm rice. Willa picked up a piece with her chopsticks and Max watched as she slid it between her lips. She closed her eyes and let out a soft moan, sending his blood rushing south.
“Oh my God, that’s so good,” she said, holding her hand in front of her mouth as she chewed. “Oh my God.”
They ate for several more minutes, commenting on the food, and he was grateful for the reprieve. Once the waiter had cleared the dishes, she leveled her gaze on him.
“What does yes and no mean?” she asked.
“I’m sorry I was such an asshole to you the morning after. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could do that entire morning over again. Because the truth is, I was freaking out.”
“No shit.” Her lips twisted in a wry smile.
He laughed. “I…” His own smile faded. “I have a complicated past with relationships and I’m still working through some things.”
“What kind of things?”
“Fucked up family dynamics that broke something inside of me. Relationship failures where people got hurt. Badly.”
Her features softened and she reached out and took his hand, wrapping her small fingers around him. “You don’t want to go through that again, so you wall yourself away from anything that could be something.”
He nodded, savoring the feel of her hand in his. “People have been hurt because of me, and I don’t want that to happen again. And given the strong feelings I already had for you…I may have overcorrected.”
“I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, but I need you to know that you really hurt me that morning, Max. You did. Because I’d had feelings for you for a long time and then to be rejected like that after the most terrifying night of my life…” She met his eyes, her own bright. “You hurt me. Deeply.”
He closed his eyes, accepting her words. Accepting responsibility for the hurt he’d caused, marveling at the fact that despite what he’d done, she was still sitting here, her hand in his. “I know. The way I acted was unforgiveable, and I want you to know that I’m so sorry, Willa. I’m really fucking sorry.”
She studied him for a moment, her eyebrows furled. Gradually, her expression softened, and then she nodded. “Okay. Apology accepted.”
He looked down, his chest tingling. How could it be that simple? How could she just forgive him like that? Like it was easy and obvious? Growing up, his parents hadn’t ever modeled forgiveness. They’d been too busy putting on a masterclass in manipulation, neglect, and emotional abuse. It hadn’t occurred to him that forgiveness was something that could be given so easily.
The second course arrived, forcing their hands apart. Precisely arranged squid, scallops and king prawns dotted the large white platter the waiter set down in front of them. Tiny dabs of wasabi and ginger decorated the plate, making the entire course look like a work of art.
Willa studied him thoughtfully as she ate, her eyes glued to him. After a few moments, she set down her chopsticks and dabbed at her mouth with her napkin. “I guess my question now is…what’s different? What’s changed? What’s happened in two months that you’ve done a 180 on…on us? Because that is what’s happened, isn’t it?” He could see the hope shining in her eyes, in the way she leaned forward slightly, her lips parted. And for once, he didn’t have to squash it. The relief made him feel lighter than he had in a long time.
“I thought that staying away from you was the best thing I could do for you. You know from our chats that I have a lot of baggage, and given how I feel about you, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I told myself that I was doing the right thing by keeping my distance. But finding out that you’re Fresh Princess, that we have this incredible connection…I meant it when I said that everything is you, Willa. I meant it when I said that I don’t know how to stay away from you. And I’m still fucking terrified that I’m going to ruin this and hurt you. I am. But the past two months have been absolute hell and I can’t do it anymore.”
She exhaled sharply. “And over the past two months, did you give any thought to what I might be feeling? To what I might want?”
“Not nearly enough.” He took her hand again. “I’m bad at this. Really, really bad. I’m not good at relationships. I’m not good at love.”
Willa’s mouth fell open, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “What did you say?”
“Finding out that you’re Fresh Princess made me face the truth, a fact I’ve been running from for weeks now.” He held her gaze, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. “I’m in love with you, Willa.” He hadn’t planned on telling her that tonight, but now that he had, it felt like a relief. It was the most honest thing he’d ever said to her.
She closed her eyes and a single tear slipped down over her cheek. For several seconds, she stared down at her lap, shaking her head slowly. Finally, she looked up. “You are?” she asked, her voice shaking.
He nodded slowly, squeezing her hand. “
Yeah. I am. I think I have been for a long time now, and it took me longer than in should’ve to realize it because I’ve never been in love before, not with anyone. For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me, that I couldn’t feel that way about anyone. But I feel that way about you. And it scares the shit out of me because I don’t know how to be in a relationship like that. All I’ve ever done is disappoint and hurt people. And that’s the last thing I want for you. But I also know that my feelings are strong enough that I want to take that chance. If you’ll have me. It’s your call. I wouldn’t blame you if—”
“I’m in love with you, too,” she said softly, cutting him off. All of the air went out of his lungs as a wide smile spread across his face.
“You are? Even after all of the shit I’ve pulled? The way I’ve acted? How I’ve treated you?”
She glanced down. “I tried to stop. I tried to let you go. And I just couldn’t. Nothing I did worked. Because it’s you, Max. For months now, it’s been you. And then, finding out you’re Mr. 23…” She licked her lips and took a sip of her tea. “I’m willing to let go of the rejections and the hurt to give us a chance. I accept that you have some stuff in your past that makes this hard for you, but knowing that doesn’t make me want you any less. Because I do want to be with you, if that’s what you’re offering.”
Max didn’t have a name for the emotion exploding through him, taking up all of the available space in his chest. It was warmth. It was a racing pulse. It was a tingling feeling in his arms and legs. It was a dryness in his mouth and a tightness in his stomach. It was bigger and brighter and more beautiful than anything he’d ever felt before.
It was love.
He squeezed her hand again. “It is. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I didn’t even think…” He shook his head slowly. “I’m not even sure I know how to love someone. But I can’t ignore the feelings I have for you anymore. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to say any of this to you.” He sighed. “You need to know, getting involved with me might be an unmitigated disaster.”
