by Tara Wyatt
“Oh, God Max!” she screamed, her entire body rigid, muscles taut, thighs shaking on either side of her head. “Fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come.”
He moaned as she ground against him, her hips bucking and jerking in his grip. Her clit pulsed against his tongue and she started to shake, her head tipped back. Fuck, she was so incredibly sexy lost in how good he was making her feel.
He gradually gentled his licks and sucks, letting her come down slowly. Savoring the taste of her as he nipped at her outer lips. With a sigh, she slumped forward, resting her forehead on the headboard.
“That was incredible,” she said, a smile twisting her lips.
He grinned up at her and kissed the inside of her thigh. Then, with his hands on her hips, he helped her climb off. She sat on the bed beside him and immediately reached for his cock, wrapping her fingers around it and stroking him slowly.
“This is really happening,” she whispered, her eyes fixated on his cock in her hand. “It’s real.”
He sat up and pulled her against him, kissing her, letting her taste herself on his tongue. “It’s real.” He pulled back, cupping her face, drinking in the sight of her. “It’s real. I love you, Willa.”
Never in his life had he said those three words to a woman who wasn’t his sister. He’d always been terrified of them. But here, with Willa, they didn’t feel anything but right.
She lifted her hand, tracing her fingertips over his cheek, his jaw, his mouth. She swallowed, her eyes luminous in the dark. “I love you, Max. I think I have for a long time now.”
He kissed her, his tongue sliding against hers as he reached for his nightstand drawer and pulled out the box of condoms. She broke the kiss and frowned slightly, staring at the box. Maybe it was because of the 98% compatibility rating, or maybe it was just because he was that in tune with her, but he knew exactly what she was thinking. He could tell immediately from the way she was staring at the box as though she had X-ray vision.
“I haven’t been with anyone,” he said quietly. “Not since you.”
A slow smile spread across her face as the tension ebbed out of her shoulders. “Is it unevolved of me to admit that I’m relieved?”
He pulled a condom out of the box and ripped it open, studying her as he rolled it down his cock. “If you’re unevolved, then so am I.” He forced himself to meet her eyes. “I understand if you have but—”
She cut him off with a kiss, her fingers in his hair. “No, Max. There hasn’t been anyone since you.” He sat back against the headboard, taking her with him. “There’s only you.” She climbed into his lap, straddling him. Without another word, he fisted his cock and she sank down onto him, her hands gripping his shoulders, the two of them moving together seamlessly, as though they’d done this hundreds of times. They both let out a long moan as she sank all the way down, taking him deep. Tight, wet heat gripped him, her pussy fluttering in welcome around him. Fucking hell, how had he thought he’d be able to walk away from this? Nothing had ever felt as incredible as Willa. Nothing.
“Good. I won’t have to murder anyone, then.”
She cupped his face and kissed him, a slow, sweet kiss that matched the rhythm of her hips as she rocked back and forth. “Two jokes in one night. I feel like don’t even know you anymore.” A smile pulled up the corner of her mouth and he kissed her, needing more of her.
His hands kneaded her ass, urging her up and down his cock, unhurried but steady. It wasn’t like him to make jokes. Or smile. Or feel…much of anything, really. He was always so worried about keeping the darkness buried deep down inside him that nothing else ever had the chance to surface. But with Willa, he didn’t feel that way.
He realized then that he loved her because she was the only person who’d been able to tease even the slightest bit of happiness out of him in more than a decade. It was why he’d been drawn to her right from the start. He’d known on some level that he needed her. Needed her sunshine. And now that he had her, the happiness was only growing, expanding inside him, making him feel different. Want to be different. And for once, he wasn’t going to shove it all down. No, he was going to chase it.
He looked down, transfixed by the sight of his cock disappearing inside her over and over again, pleasure curling through his veins, heat building inside him. They moved together, bodies entwined as he lost himself in her. Not just in how fucking amazing she felt, but in the knowledge that Willa was his. That despite everything—his scars, the way he’d treated her, all of it—she wanted him. Loved him. He didn’t understand it, didn’t feel worthy of it, but he knew he needed it. Needed her. More than he’d ever needed anyone in his life.
With Willa, he felt like he was actually living. Not just existing, but alive and awake and grateful for it. She’d given him that, with her warmth and forgiveness and sunshine. He didn’t deserve it, but she’d given it to him anyway, and he knew that he was going to do whatever it took to hang on to it. To this. Them.
“God, Willa,” he groaned, urging her to move faster. She ground down on him, working her clit against him.
She threw her head back as she rode him, her breath coming in sharp pants. “I’m so close. I’m so close but I can’t…” She trailed off and shook her head, grinding her clit against him again.
“I’ve got you, angel,” he said. Leaving one hand on her back to help support her, he slipped his other hand between her legs, circling her clit with firm strokes. His fingers brushed against where they were joined and he groaned, watching her pussy slide up and down his cock as he massaged her clit. “Like that?” he asked, wanting to make her feel good. Wanting to feel her come around him.
She whimpered and nodded. “Just like that,” she said, her voice shaky. He dipped his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth, nipping lightly at it. She started to move faster, her hips undulating in a rhythm that had him seeing stars, fighting off his own orgasm. He was dangerously close to exploding, but he refused to let himself go until he’d sent her over the edge one more time.
He turned his attention to her other nipple, his fingers sliding around her clit and as he scraped his teeth over her sensitive flesh, she started to flutter and pulse around him, clamping down on his cock.
“That’s it, angel,” he whispered. “Come on my fingers with my cock deep inside you.”
“Max,” she moaned, her hips slamming against his now, her pussy rippling around him and igniting the fuse of his own orgasm. Her movements started to falter as her orgasm pulsed through her, making her moan and tremble, so he gripped her ass, working her up and down his cock. With her arms around his neck, she leaned forward and kissed him. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips, and it was her words that sent him crashing over the edge headfirst into oblivion.
“Fuck, Willa,” he groaned, his grip on her ass almost bruising as he slammed his hips up into her twice more before he came, his cock pulsing and jerking inside her. “I love you,” he rasped out, his voice raw. “Fuck.”
She swiveled her hips, a slow, sexy movement, her forehead pressed to his. “Please tell me we can do that again later,” she said, an adorable smile on her lips. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you inside me.”
“Mmm,” he groaned, kissing her softly. “I know what you mean.” He kissed her again, feeling almost weightless after the intense orgasm he’d just had. “We are absolutely doing that again later. And tomorrow morning.” An idea charged through him and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Let’s play hooky tomorrow. We could stay in bed all morning. Go out for lunch. Whatever you want to do.”
She smiled at him, her eyes bright. “I don’t know. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but my boss is kind of a hard ass.” The smile on her lips was relaxed, teasing.
“Don’t worry, I have an in with your boss. Besides, I think his hard ass days might be behind him.” He leaned forward and kissed her. “He’s been in an awfully good mood lately. I think he might be in love.”
“Lucky woman
,” she said softly, her eyes full of emotion.
“He’s the lucky one.”
“Max,” she sighed, tracing her fingertips over his cheek. “Of course I want to spend the day with you. I still can’t believe this is real.” Her voice broke and she cleared her throat softly. “I’ve just…I’ve just wanted exactly this for so long now, and…”
He kissed her, guilt and regret pulling at him. “I know. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “What matters is now. The future.”
He kissed her again and then gently eased her off him. “Be right back.”
When he returned from disposing of the condom, he found Willa sitting on the edge of the bed wearing nothing but his discarded black button-down, a pensive look on her face as she stared out at the city. For a moment, he did nothing but stare as his heart hammered in his chest. She was so beautiful. So warm and kind. So sexy and sweet and funny and smart and holy fuck was he not even close to deserving of her.
But for once in his life, instead of accepting that something wasn’t meant for him, he was going to try to be worthy of it. He had to. He needed to. Because how he felt when he was with her, how he felt when she looked at him with her heart in her eyes…yeah. He needed to hang on as tightly as possible to that.
He turned and rummaged in a drawer, pulling out a pair of gray sweatpants and slipping them on. Then he sat down on the bed beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.
She leaned into him, her face pressed against his shoulder. “Everything I know about Mr. 23. I’m trying to map it onto your life, to make the pieces fit together.” She looked up at him and smiled. “So Lucian was the one who drove his car across the school lawn and told those bullies to fuck off, right?”
Max let out a low laugh, nodding. “Yeah. He scared the shit out of them.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s a scary guy when he wants to be. And let me guess…Bastian was the sandcastle smasher, wasn’t he?”
“He was. Even back then, he was like a hurricane, so much energy and zero impulse control.”
She made a soft humming noise. “But you know what I keep thinking about most of all?”
Please don’t ask about the necklace. Please.
“What?” he asked, wondering if she could hear the note of caution that had crept into his voice.
“Do you really have an original, working Atari? Like, actually?”
Relief trickled through him and he grinned. “I do. You wanna play?”
“Duh.” She stood from the bed and took his hand, hauling him to his feet. “But I think you’re going to have to put a shirt on,” she said, running her hand up his chest. “Because this is very distracting.”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “You’re wearing nothing but my shirt. I think we’re even.”
She laughed. “Fair enough. Come on. I’ve never played Space Invaders on an actual Atari.”
“Your wish is my command,” he said, leading her out of the bedroom and down the hall to his media room. When he pushed the door open, her eyes went wide, like a kid in a toy store. He watched her as she explored, unable to take his eyes off her, enjoying the way she was thrilled over everything in his collection. Enjoying the way she fit so easily, so effortlessly into his life.
For the first time in years, decades even, Max was happy.
14
Morning crested over Manhattan like it always did, the sun climbing slowly in the sky, shining between the buildings, rays beaming off windows and painting everything in shades of pink and orange. It was a pretty spring morning like so many others, and yet to Willa, everything felt different in the best possible way.
Max sat with his back against the headboard with Willa curled against his naked chest. She wove her fingers through the light dusting of dark brown chest hair covering his gorgeous pecs, enjoying the play of textures, the crisp hair against soft, warm skin. The simple, beautiful intimacy of laying in bed together, naked, watching the sun climb higher and higher in the sky. It was bliss, knowing she could touch him, kiss him, hold him and he wouldn’t run away. That he wanted this as much as she did. She’d been so achingly lonely for weeks now that waking up like this was a joy she hadn’t been fully prepared for.
He smoothed a hand slowly up and down her back, and she knew he was as lost in the freedom of touching her as she was with him. She snuggled into him a bit tighter, inhaling deeply, pulling the scent of him into her lungs, wanting to keep it there forever. She’d never felt like this before with a man. Never felt so whole and at peace and seen. Never felt so connected and at ease. Everything with Max just felt right. So incredibly right.
She wasn’t sure how long they sat in bed, cuddled together, watching the city come to life as the sky went from pink to light purple to a crisp, clear blue. Not saying anything because they didn’t need to. All they needed was to hold each other.
Last night had felt like a fairytale. The romantic dinner, Max’s confession that he was in love with her, the incredible sex. Playing Space Invaders, challenging each other to beat the other’s score. After a few rounds, he’d suggested that the loser would have to ditch an item of clothing. Given that they’d each only been wearing one item, the game hadn’t lasted long before he’d scooped her up and carried her back to his bed where he’d made love to her again, slow and agonizingly sweet.
He cleared his throat softly and kissed her temple. “I’ve been thinking about everything you told me, too,” he said, his deep voice quiet. “I keep thinking about what you told me, about having cancer. Will you…will you tell me more about it?”
As much as she didn’t love talking about it, she was touched that he wanted to know, so she swallowed and nodded, her cheek rubbing against his shoulder. “Yeah. It was six years ago now. I was twenty-three and I’d just finished grad school. I’d been having some irregular bleeding and some pain, so I went to the doctor. They did some tests and it turned out I had cervical cancer. They did more tests to determine what stage and how serious, and luckily it was early enough that it was treatable. Not long after the tests, I went through the process to harvest and freeze my eggs, and then I started a regimen of chemo and radiation.”
She could feel the tension in his muscles, in the way his hand had tightened on her hip. “For how long?”
“It was four weeks of intense treatment. I had chemo every Wednesday and radiation five days a week.”
“That sounds brutal.”
“It was. I was always really sick on Thursdays and Fridays from the chemo and could barely keep anything down, even water. And we had a hard time finding an anti-nausea drug that worked for me, so I never got a lot of relief from it. I lost weight because I had no appetite and I always had this really disgusting metallic taste in my mouth. And I was exhausted all the time from the radiation.”
He sighed heavily. “That sounds awful. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that.”
“Me too. It was a shock to the system having to deal with that just when I felt like my adult life was really starting, you know? Lauren was amazing through all of it. She and I had been roommates in college and were really close. She’d come with me to my chemo appointments and sit with me, and she’d hang out and keep me company a lot when I wasn’t feeling well. Even if all I wanted to do was lie on the couch half-asleep and watch Simpsons re-runs, she was always there. She’d do little things to try to cheer me up, like write me a goofy song, or bring me flowers or little presents, like a book or jumbo packs of the gum I was always chewing to try to get rid of the metallic taste. And she always let me be in my feelings, you know? However I was feeling was always okay. She never offered me platitudes or silver linings. She was just there, listening and letting me feel what I needed to feel.”
Max nodded slowly. “Lauren’s a sweetheart. I’m glad you had her for support.” He blew out a breath. “I can’t even imagine how scary that must’ve been.”
“It was, but my prognosis was always good be
cause it was only stage two when they found it.” She shook her head. “One of the shittiest parts was that this guy I’d been dating for like a year totally bailed. We’d met in grad school and things were starting to get a little serious. We’d said ‘I love you,’ talked about moving in together. But when I got sick, he broke up with me because he really wanted to go to Europe for two months.”
“What?” Max asked, his voice full of ice.
She shrugged. “Yeah. It was too heavy for him and he couldn’t deal, so he just left. Sometimes, when I think about getting sick again—because while it’s unlikely, it’s not impossible—I worry that the people I care about will leave me.” She cleared her throat and hurried to keep talking. “After the four weeks of treatment and a little time to heal, they ran more tests and I was officially in remission.”
“And you got to ring the bell,” he added, tucking her more tightly against him.
She nodded. “And…as much as it sucked, it did give me a new perspective on life. On going after the life that we want, not taking things for granted, choosing happiness. It’s too short to throw it away on misery. It also helps to talk to others who’ve been through it. I’m part of this support group for female cancer survivors under thirty-five. We meet once a month and just share whatever we’re dealing with. I’m pretty okay with everything now, but I have a feeling that some strong emotions are going to hit me when I’m ready to have a family and can’t just do it the old-fashioned way.”
“You said there’s a small chance it could come back?” he asked, a ripple of emotion in his voice.
She lifted her head and met his eyes, her stomach vaulting into her throat at the raw emotion shining out at her. She lifted a hand and smoothed her fingers over the lines in his forehead.
“It’s been six years and it hasn’t come back yet, so the chances are slim that it ever will. It’s not impossible, of course, but it’s unlikely. But I still get checkups every six months.”
