Finally they came to Prince Town. This was protected by thickly tangled ivy vines, some of them leagues long. Dolph flew them over, and they landed in a nicely laid out pattern of streets, buildings, and parks.
“Girls ahoy!” someone shouted.
Immediately they were surrounded by princes. They ignored the kings and focused on the women. But soon that focus narrowed to Davina and Fiona; dull Tipsy had been tuned out.
She rejoined Bink. “Even in a dream, I can’t get the attention of a prince,” she said with resignation.
“But you’re a fine person.”
“I think we’ve already been over that.”
“A problem has occurred to me,” Dor said. “How can living Xanth women marry dream princes? The two realms don’t overlap in reality.”
“That bothers me too,” Bink said. “I was hoping we would figure out a way.”
“I can think of something that might work,” Tipsy said.
They turned to her. “If you can do that, we’ll be in your debt,” Bink said.
She smiled sadly. “But you can’t marry me, even if you wanted to. So forget it. Here is my notion: maybe we don’t need to have the realms overlap. All we need is to have plenty of that dreaming potion, so the women of the Isles can visit Prince Town whenever they want. They can marry princes here, and do whatever they want with them, and when they want to rest, they can simply wake up and be where no man can bother them. Most of them would appreciate that, though they wouldn’t say so in mixed company.”
Dor nodded. “That sounds good, for the women. But wouldn’t the princes object?”
“I think they would be glad to see the women any time the women appeared. Apparently they are a long way from Princess Town. And they probably need time for their studies. So they might like half time too, especially since the women would be coming with romance in mind. I understand that men do have other interests, like jousting and gambling and watching nymphs run, that they don’t necessarily care to share with women.”
Bink nodded. “Astute assessment. Let’s put it to the princes. Would they like part-time marriages to lovely women?”
They discussed it with the princes, and it turned out that the princes were indeed interested, provided they got to pick the women themselves. Davina and Fiona already had commitments from suitable princes. In fact they were not yet ready to wake; they had hot dates in mind.
So Tipsy Troll returned with the three kings. They simply went outside of Prince Town, held hands, and concentrated on waking up.
They woke in the retention pool. Davina and Fiona remained asleep. But Tipsy was able to make the report. “In short,” she concluded, “every woman can have a prince in a dream marriage, without leaving the Isle. The princes are eager to meet all of you. All you need is the sleep potion and a place to lie down.”
The others were not convinced. But they released the three kings to roam the Isle while the matter was being settled. When Davina and Fiona woke, they would compare notes.
But Bink hesitated as they departed the pool. “What of you, Tipsy?” he asked. “There doesn’t seem to be much for you in Prince Town.”
“There’s not much for me anywhere,” she said sadly.
An idea had been simmering in the background, and now it moved hesitantly forward. “Would you consider marrying a non-prince?”
“I’d marry anyone who wanted me. But no one does.”
“How about a man who molds things into other things?”
“Sure.” It was significant that she didn’t qualify her agreement, or ask whether the man was handsome or nice.
“I know a man who wants a wife. In fact he agreed to tell us something we want to know, if we bring him a wife from the Isle of Women. His name is Phil Istine. He’s not a prince.”
“But he wasn’t thinking of a troll.”
“But I think he might settle for one, with a bit of management.”
“All right.”
“Then stay with us. We must find Breanna and make sure she’s all right. Then, when the women are satisfied with the dream princes, we can leave the Isle, and take you along.”
They set off on the path toward the house Breanna had entered. But before they had taken many steps, there was Breanna herself coming toward them.
“Are you all right?” Bink and Breanna called together. Then they laughed, together.
11
ISLE OF WOLVES
“I came out of the house, and you were gone,” Breanna told the three kings. “I was afraid something had happened to you.”
“Something did,” King Dor agreed. “But we worked it out. What of you?”
“Something happened to me too, but now it’s all right. King Xeth has found a good zombie woman to marry, and they are addressing the stork now. So I don’t have to stay here after all.”
“We’ll be glad to take you home when we leave,” Prince Dolph said. “Which should be soon.”
“Thanks! I’m glad things are okay.” Then she noticed that there was another person with them. “Hello. I’m Breanna of the Black Wave.”
“I’m Tipsy Troll. I’m going with them too.”
Breanna was surprised. “Not—?”
Tipsy laughed. “Not married, no. But they think there’s a man there who will marry me.”
“Oh. Okay.” And of course she had known that none of the kings would have married any woman of the Isle.
“Indeed they would not,” Justin Tree said. “But I suspect that they have quite a story to tell, if they care to tell it.”
Breanna made a mental note to be sure to ask for that story, when the occasion seemed propitious. Then she thought of something else. “Justin, I guess my adventure is just about over, now that I’ve escaped marriage to the Zombie King, thanks to your help. So I guess that means we’ll be parting company soon.”
“I confess that is a sad occasion for me. You have been fascinating company.”
“And you have been great. I really needed your guidance.”
“But of course you have your own life to live now, and do not need any further intrusions.”
“I guess.” But she was dissatisfied. “Justin, I know you have had enough of teenage girls by now.”
“As if there could ever be enough of them.”
“Do you think maybe—I mean, if you don’t have something better to do—you could maybe, sort of, well, stay around a little longer? Of course you don’t have to—”
“I do not wish to impose, Breanna. I fear my presence limits your lifestyle. You have given me a fine adventure, and I can’t complain.”
“I wish you’d stay.”
She felt his surprise.
“You are not merely being polite? The Good Magician did say a year, or until we mutually agreed to end it, but of course I would not hold you to such a term.”
“I’m being more like desperate. I think I don’t want to go back to nothingness just yet, and that’s what it’ll be. But maybe I could sort of hang around with the three kings a while longer, and that’s bound to be interesting. But I don’t really know them, and you do, so if you could tell me what to do—”
“I would be glad to, Breanna. I am gratified that you are not yet tired of my presence.”
“I’m not tired of it! I couldn’t’ve made it without you.”
“I thank you for that sentiment.”
They walked to the dock. There was the duck-footed boat. “Will you take us back to the mainland?” Dor asked it.
“Sure, when the women say it’s okay. When the Isle interfaces again.”
“But that won’t be until tomorrow,” Breanna protested.
“No, that’s the automatic cycle. The women can change it when they want to, to let an impatient prince in, or to take a married one out with his bride. We can go when Voracia says it’s okay. She should be along in due course.”
“That’s great,” Breanna said, though she was speaking more for the kings than for herself. This did not seem like a bad isle
, now that she had settled with Xeth.
They sat down to wait for Voracia. And while they rested, they exchanged stories. Justin’s surmise turned out to be correct: the women had pulled a dastardly stunt, and only some good breaks and good thinking had gotten them out of it. Exactly as it had been for Breanna herself.
Voracia came down the path. “We’re setting up the interface,” she told the boat. “Take them back to Xanth.” She glanced at Tipsy. “You’re going too?”
“Yes. They think there’s a man for me.”
“Good for you. We’ve got dream princes galore. Davina and Fiona confirmed it, and will show us the way there.”
They got into the boat, and it paddled across the pond and ran up onto the path on the other side. They were on their way.
They reached the shore, and the boat splashed into the sea. There was Xanth, as she gathered it had not been until the women set up the interface.
“Now may be a propitious time to raise the matter…”
Oh. Yes. “Uh, you said you would take me home.”
“Yes, of course,” King Dor said.
“Could you maybe wait on that? I mean, I’m grateful, but I’d sort of like to stick around with you a while, if that’s not too much trouble.”
King Dor glanced at the others, who nodded. “Certainly, Breanna. You have been of real help to us, and we appreciate it. We suspect that our own adventure, such as it has been, is about done, but you will be welcome to remain with us until it ends.”
“Gee, thanks.” She stifled a tear; she really appreciated their generosity. They were all good men, as well as being kings, unlike that bad Ralph.
They reached the other dock and disembarked. There were a few zombies wandering desolately around. “Oops, there’s something I should do,” Breanna said.
“We can keep you from the zombies,” Prince Dolph said. “We’ll simply fly away from them.”
“No, I’m tired of running from problems.” Breanna walked boldly up to the nearest zombie. “Hello. I’m Breanna, the one you’ve been chasing. But you can go home now, because your King Xeth has found love with Zyzzyva Zombie instead, and will marry her. They’ll be returning here in a day or two, I think. Do you understand?”
The zombie seemed surprised. “Underzdand,” he repeated after a suitable pause for cogitation.
“Good enough. You stay here to welcome them when they come.” Then she extended her hand.
After another pause, the zombie extended his hand. Breanna grasped it firmly and shook it, not hard. It felt somewhat slimy, but she gave no sign of disgust. She had conquered her fear of zombies.
“Good for you, Breanna!”
Then she returned to the kings. “Okay, that’s done.”
Dor was talking with the duck-footed boat. He looked up as Breanna returned. “We have made a deal. It will be days before Para needs to service the Isle of Women, because their interest is now on dreams. Voracia will call if the boat is needed sooner. So we will exchange conveyances.”
“So the boat is Para, with the two docks,” Justin remarked appreciatively. “There can be more meanings in a name than one expects.”
“Yeah, every time you figure you know something, there’s more you don’t know.”
“I don’t understand,” Tipsy said. “I thought that man was near here.”
“No, he’s some distance south,” Bink said. “But we feel there is one thing you need before you meet him. So we shall fetch it now.”
“I don’t mean to be any trouble,” Tipsy said.
“They don’t consider it trouble,” Breanna said.
“They’re nice people.” She had come to know the troll-woman somewhat while they waited to cross back to Xanth, and knew she was warm-hearted. “You helped them; they’re helping you.”
King Dor, Bink, Tipsy and Breanna got into the boat again. Prince Dolph changed into a roc bird. He caught up the boat in his huge talons, spread his wings, and took off. Breanna saw that it was definitely easier to be carried in the boat than it would have been to be clutched by bare claws.
“Wheee!” the boat exclaimed, wiggling its feet. “I’ve been on land and sea, but never in air before.”
“Me too,” Breanna agreed, peering down as the land fell below.
“And me,” Tipsy said, looking down the other side. “It looks just like a map.”
“We’re going to Mt. Rushmost,” Bink explained. “For some lip bomb.”
“A bomb!”
“You put it on your lips, and when you kiss a man, it just about knocks him out, in a pleasant way. We think that with that, you will be able to make an impression on Phil Istine.”
Tipsy looked at Breanna. Breanna shrugged. “I haven’t encountered this.”
“I have. Long ago. It is a good ploy.”
“But Justin says it’s good,” Breanna said.
Soon they came to a towering mountain. Dolph-roc glided to a landing at the edge of its upper plateau. He set the boat down, changed to manform, and jumped in as the duck feet got moving.
“We are looking for Karla, Sharon, or Chea Centaur,” Dor said. “Or Serena girl.”
“Go that way,” the ground said, its voice moving in a particular direction.
They went that way, and came to an early evening fire where three winged monsters congregated. All of them were centaurs, and female.
“What, are you men back again for more punishment?” one of the centaur fillies demanded.
“I’m not a man, and neither is Tipsy Troll,” Breanna said before it occurred to her that silence might be better.
“You’re not winged, either,” the centaur said disapprovingly.
“Karla, we come to ask another favor,” King Dor said quickly. “We’d like to get some lip bomb for Tipsy.”
The centaurs considered. “What use would a troll have for that?”
“She did us a favor, and now we want to help her get married. She’s a good person. We think the lip bomb will enable her to make a suitable impression.”
“Very well: we will give it to you. But you must demonstrate it on your two girls, so that they understand its nature.”
“You mean, we must don it, and kiss our companions?” Prince Dolph asked.
“Exactly.”
King Dor looked at the girls. “I don’t know—”
But Breanna was curious. “Sure one of you can kiss me,” she said. “I’ll know you don’t mean it, so it’s no violation of the Adult Conspiracy, if that matters.”
The kings looked doubtful, but didn’t argue.
“All right,” Tipsy agreed uncertainly.
Karla brought out a jar of red stuff. “Come here, King Dor,” she said with a typically centaurian obscure smile. She took paste on her fingers and carefully smeared it on his lips. Then she did the same with Bink. “Now kiss them.”
The king and the prince turned. Bink approached Tipsy, and Dor approached Breanna. “I apologize for the necessity,” he said.
“Oh, at least pretend some enthusiasm,” Breanna said naughtily. “It isn’t as if I haven’t been kissed by a king before.”
He took her in his arms and put his lips to hers. It was sort of pathetic, that this middle-aged man thought his kiss could have any real effect. Then her mouth detonated, and she would have fallen spinning to the ground, except for the fact that he was firmly supporting her. Stars and planets careened in circles around her head. The experience was devastatingly pleasant.
She found herself limp in his embrace. “Do what you want with me,” she murmured blissfully.
“Have no fear of that,” he replied. “It is only a demonstration, as we agreed.” He set her on her feet and let go, and she was able to stand somewhat unsteadily.
“That lip bomb is remarkable stuff,” Justin remarked. “Now I appreciate more fully why they believe it will help Tipsy Troll.”
“For sure. If Xeth had used it on me, we’d be married by now.”
She looked around. Tipsy Troll was sagging aga
inst Bink, with little hearts floating up from her head. Obviously his kiss had been just as potent. “That’s some stuff,” Breanna repeated, awed.
Karla handed Tipsy the jar. “Now you know what to do with this,” she said. “Go get your man.”
“Now I know,” Tipsy agreed dizzily.
“We thank you very kindly,” King Dor said. “Perhaps you fillies can come to the big royal wedding next week at Castle Roogna.”
“Oh? Who is getting married?”
“We don’t know. But it will surely be a momentous occasion.”
“We like momentous occasions,” Karla said. “But we don’t have invitations.”
“I will try to get some made up for you,” King Dor said. “We’ll give them to you when you arrive.”
The centaur frowned. “That’s not exactly the way it is done.”
King Dor shrugged. “I’m a man. I don’t know any better.”
“True. We’ll try to attend.”
“Ask Serena, Erica, and Aurora to come too,” Prince Dolph said.
“We shall.”
They got into the boat, and it ran toward the brink. The centaurs waved farewell, evidently intrigued by their mode of transportation. The boat charged right over the edge and dropped toward the distant ground. Tipsy and Breanna screamed.
Then Prince Dolph changed form, his feet grabbing the sides of the boat while his great wings spread and took up the slack. The fall became a rise. They were on their way.
“That was fun,” the boat said. Breanna stomped a floor panel.
King Dor and Bink brought out handkerchiefs and wiped the remaining lip bomb from their faces. Breanna touched her own lips, where a trace of bliss lingered. She had had no idea that something like that existed. It was a devastating weapon in the war of genders, usable by either side. As it was, she had half a crush on King Dor, despite his advanced age.
They flew down to the ground somewhat south of the Isle. They landed, and Prince Dolph resumed riding in the boat. Soon they came to a man contemplating a loaf of bread. As they halted by him, the bread became a statue of a winged dragon.
“Phil Istine,” King Dor said, stepping out of the boat. “We have brought you a wife from the Isle of Women.”
Zombie Lover Page 24
