by Di Jones
In fact, as she’d sat at the dinner table giving it logical thought, the more reasons came to her that she shouldn’t do this. While she could do her transcription work from any location, how easy would it be to focus and put the time in when they were traveling? And what about her house? The idea of giving it up was terrifying. While it might be modest and not in the best part of town, her little home was her much-loved sanctuary. Lewiston itself was a cocoon. All her friends were here and if something went wrong with her relationship with Andy she’d be isolated until she could get back home.
Her gut swam with adrenaline, making her feel sick with apprehension, and yet when she thought about telling him that she wasn’t going, she froze up. Everything he did demonstrated how much he cared for her and wanted to make her happy. She could see the way he felt about her, so how could she disappoint him like this? It would ruin their evening and anyway, she wanted him to be happy.
Despite the festivities in the town square, she’d been distracted, but now she was relieved to be in their seats, waiting for the show to start.
As the lights dimmed and the first performer came on, she started to relax. During the first three acts, she became aware of people around her shifting in their seats.
She leaned over to Andy. “What’s happening? Everyone seems unsettled.”
“They’re probably waiting for Emery Dante to come on.”
“It’s more than that. I have this feeling that things are unraveling. Something’s going on.”
Trisha Bell and the Mayor were huddled together at the end of the aisle, just to the side of the stage, and their voices were rising in pitch. Harmony was at the side of the curtain wringing her hands, her mother Gladys by her side. A group of kids were running around below the stage with no one to corral them as Harmony’s attention wasn’t on them, unusual for a teacher who was usually so organized and diligent. The other adults, most of them volunteers, seemed confused and had no idea what to do. Was everyone so overwhelmed at the idea of Emery being in the show that things had fallen apart even before he’d come on stage?
“Listen to those kids,” Andy stage whispered, as if no one else had noticed. A group of boys were now whooping and screeching, which would have put off eighty six year old Mr. Brown, who was attempting to sing a song from last century. He carried on valiantly—because of his deafness—although it would have put off a better man. “What the hell’s going on?”
“I don’t know, but they need someone to sort it out,” she whispered back. She went to get up from her seat but Andy pulled her back down.
“It’s not your problem.”
It was her problem, because she knew what to do. She’d been a volunteer more times than she could count and she understood how things should run. She couldn’t sit here and do nothing…none of this would’ve happened if she had just agreed to fall in line and do what Trisha asked when she came into the bookstore to ask her to volunteer. If she had agreed, and was backstage helping, rather than sitting here in the audience with Andy, the holiday concert wouldn’t be a mess. This was all her fault.
She looked around and shrank back into her seat as acquaintances’ eyes met hers. Were they judging her, wondering why she was selfishly sitting in the audience while the production was falling apart? Behind her, a woman leaned forward. “Wow, they really needed you this year.”
“It’s not Elizabeth’s fault.” Andy turned around, springing to her defense. “It’s not her problem either.”
“It’s the town’s problem,” she said, pulling him to turn back to her, “and I’m not going to sit here and watch the concert fall apart.”
“Do you want to leave?” Andy asked. “I can see you’re uncomfortable. Come on, let’s go.” He urged her out of her seat.
She ignored him, instead turning her attention back to the stage. The Mayor was speaking, and a gasp went up from the audience as he told them there was a change to the main act as Emery had left town.
She turned to Andy, and he looked as shocked as she felt.
Harmony trudged on stage, looking as if she was about to cry.
Elizabeth brought her hand across her mouth…she hadn’t seen Harmony on stage singing for years, not since the incident when she’d embarrassingly frozen as she was about to perform. What on the earth was going on?
“Let’s get out of here,” Andy said. He stood, again taking her hand and pulling her up from her seat. “Look, we’re not the only ones leaving.”
A large number of people had left their seats and were now fighting for position to exit the building and get back to their homes.
Harmony’s singing voice cut through the chatter that was now threatening to shut down the event. Her sweet voice wavered—her lack of confidence was painfully apparent. The children, who’d already gotten out of control, paid no attention to their teacher singing and their laughter, screams and chatter became louder, threatening to drown her out completely. Harmony was aware of it too, and she turned back toward the curtain, and stopped singing.
Elizabeth froze, her heart filling with sympathy, and Andy tried to pull her to the aisle. “I can’t do this,” she grumbled, pulling against him.
“What?” He frowned, his forehead riveted with lines. “Come on, let’s go.” His tone was impatient, rankling her.
“I can’t leave now. Look at Harmony up there. She needs help.”
“Don’t be silly, there’s nothing you can do to help her. Everyone’s upset about Emery Dante. It’s to be expected.”
The feelings she’d been battling overwhelmed her. “I can’t leave, Andy…not just this concert, but this town. Ever. But you...should go.” She pulled away from his hand, and squeezed past him before he could stop her. Then she climbed backstage to help out, like she should’ve done all along.
Eighteen
Andy
Andy sat out in the car waiting for Elizabeth, his heart tearing apart. Were her harsh words due to the stress of the situation, or were they a reflection of her true feelings? He suspected the latter, and because of this he knew he should leave, but if he left, how would she get home? Whatever she’d said to him, he wouldn’t leave her stuck at night. While he sat there, he tried to figure out what had made her react the way she had. Guilt was his best guess. He’d seen similar reactions during his time in the military.
He thought she’d been making progress standing up for herself but he was wrong. Maybe he’d pushed her too hard. After all, the habits of a lifetime were hard to break, and the small steps she’d taken might have scared her. Small, sustained change was only usually successful after a long period of time, and it had only been a few weeks since he’d been challenging her to break out of her old ways. He examined everything he’d done, hoping his approach hadn’t seemed confronting to her, but he couldn’t find anything in his conscience that made him uncomfortable. Within minutes of reaching this conclusion he exited the vehicle and made his way back inside.
Inside the Town Hall the crowds were re-congregating and he made his way forward to see why. Harmony was on stage singing, to his surprise with Emery Dante. Their voices soared in beautiful harmony and peoples’ faces were rapt. But Andy had more important things to attend to, and he made his way backstage to see what was going on with Elizabeth.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. There were three women surrounding Elizabeth as she struggled to calm the children, encouraging them back out front. One of the women was berating her and he recognized Trisha, the woman who’d tried to push Elizabeth into volunteering. He remembered that Elizabeth had told him that Trisha had been a schoolyard bully, sometimes making Elizabeth’s life difficult at high school. Now it looked to him as if she was in the same mode, and determined to prove her power.
Not tonight, not with Elizabeth…and certainly not with me here. No one messes with my girl.
He vaulted up onto the stage. “Hey, babe. Let’s get going.” He took hold of her hand, putting light pressure on her to join him. “They’ve g
ot this.”
“Actually, we could do with her help.”
He whipped around, having recognized the voice. “Mona, what are you doing here?”
“I came back a few days ago. I decided I didn't want to miss the concert. Although as I told Harmony, it didn’t seem like it was going to happen, because I saw Emery Dante flying back out to LA as we arrived back. But all’s well that ends well, isn’t it?”
“You didn’t think to tell Elizabeth and I that you were back? We’ve opened the store for you the past two days.”
“I wanted to get ready for Christmas.”
He didn’t have the time to argue with Mona, not now, although he was aghast at her lack of manners. For the moment, though, his priority was his girl. He grabbed her hand again. “Come on.”
Trisha whipped around and glared at him. “She’s not going anywhere.”
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his hands clenched with anger, but he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, in case he’d misunderstood what she was saying. “I beg your pardon?”
“I said she has to stay here. She’s not done cleaning up yet.”
He took a step closer to her, and staggered at her nerve, made his words plain. “Actually, Trisha, she is finished here. And grow up, please. You might have done it to her back at school, but you can’t keep pushing people around forever. This was your thing, so you clean up. You’re lucky Elizabeth came back to help out at all with the kids. She didn’t have to, you know. We were on a date.”
Trisha bristled with indignation, the same way she had that day she’d tried to push Elizabeth to volunteer back in the bookstore. She opened her mouth, wanting to say more, but before she could he turned his back on her, scooped up Elizabeth in his arms and carried her away.
He felt like a knight saving a damsel in distress from her captor, but to his surprise Elizabeth wasn’t impressed. She wriggled in his arms, and when he put her down outside she looked even more upset than she had before, although he’d rescued her. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I have to live here,” she whimpered as he led her to the car. “And this is embarrassing.”
“But you don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Have to live here. You could come away with me. This town’s not your problem. You don’t have to take care of everything and everyone. When are you going to get that, Elizabeth? No one here even appreciates you. They use you, they disrespect you, and they abuse you.” He could’ve gone on forever, but she turned away, tears in her eyes.
“Just drive,” she grumbled, and he put the car into gear and drove toward her house.
When they reached her place and he thought that they might finally have a talk or get to finish off their date, she jumped out of the car, strode up the path and into the house, not even waiting for him. He sat there a moment, composing his thoughts, wanting to start a fresh conversation on a better footing.
She’d left the front door open for him, but once inside, he saw she was standing at her bedroom door. The anger had left her face and his heart lifted.
“I’m going to sleep. I don’t want to talk about any of this.” She shut the door firmly behind her, and the sound of the lock turning tore at his heart.
He slumped on the couch in the living room, hoping she’d come out again, but after an hour when she hadn’t, he knew he was on his own. With a sigh, he made his way to the spare room and settled in for the night. This was not how any of this was supposed to go. He thought women liked to be saved…where had he gone wrong?
As he tossed and turned sleepless in bed, he knew he should retreat. If Elizabeth wasn’t going to go traveling with him, he might as well put this behind him and get going on his own. The town had left such a sour taste in his mouth that he might never choose to return. As he acknowledged this truth, his gut swam with toxins, but his heart told him he was right. Since Elizabeth didn’t want to see him, it would be better for him to stay away. If he ever saw her again, it might hurt so much the pain would never stop.
Nineteen
Elizabeth
Alone in her bed, Elizabeth cried herself to sleep. Her emotions were mixed, leaving her exhausted. On the one hand, she wanted to be with Andy, but her heart couldn’t believe that a relationship with this man would work out. He’d get bored with her, wonder why he’d asked her to join him on his travels, and she’d be isolated far from home. Then there was what he’d done tonight—embarrassed her in front of others, and called Trisha out. Yes, he was right to do so, and nothing he’d said was untrue, but still, for someone as accommodating as her, the situation had been uncomfortable. Maybe she wasn’t ready to learn to stand up for herself, or have someone else do so. Possibly the role of doormat was what suited her, and what she deserved.
Eventually she fell asleep, but her slumber was shallow and she tossed and turned, lost in a myriad of otherworldly dreams. She woke slowly the next morning, lying in bed wondering how she was going to face Andy. Somehow she would, because she had to. She couldn’t stay in her room all day. Even if she wanted to, she had to eat.
She crept out of her room to get showered and dressed before facing him, hoping that he wouldn’t be in the living room waiting for her. This morning she needed to be her best, and she couldn’t be that looking and feeling the way she did. Holding a robe around her, she crept to the bathroom, but he wasn’t up, and she couldn’t hear a sound anywhere. Presumably he was still asleep. She sighed with relief then quickly lathered herself under the hot water, feeling it easing her tensed muscles.
Once out of the shower, she opened the bathroom door a crack, listening for Andy as she dried herself. The house was still silent and she didn’t want to wake him, so she snuck back to her room, dressed quickly then went quietly to the kitchen.
As relieved as she was that he wasn’t up yet, it did feel odd that there was no coffee and breakfast waiting for her. She frowned…without knowing it had happened she’d become accustomed to his attention. Maybe she should make coffee. It would be a nice touch, and a conciliatory gesture, because maybe she’d been just a tiny, little bit harsh on him last night. She put water in the kettle, boiled it and made the coffee. Maybe he was as scared to face her as she had been him? Maybe she should take him his coffee, just to show there were no hard feelings. She poured the coffee into the mug he liked, and walked quietly to the spare bedroom.
The door was open, and she peeked in. He’s not here.
She walked in, put the coffee on the nightstand, and opened the wardrobe. Empty.
Her chest tightened, and she took in a breath, trying to think. She had thought she’d feel relief when he left, but panic and loss nipped at her insides.
He’s gone. Have I blown my one chance at happiness with someone who understands me? So what if we barely know each other? For sure we’d get to know each other better on the trip.
She walked around the house, looking for a note, but he hadn’t left one. Why would he? I was clear with him last night. So what would he have to say to me?
The silence seemed to mock her: This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be alone again? No, she wanted to scream, I don’t want to be alone, but I’ve just guaranteed I will be.
In a panic, she called Mona. “Do you know where Andy is?” she asked without preamble.
“Isn’t he with you?”
“If he was, I wouldn’t be calling you. Do you know where he is?”
“No.”
“He hasn’t spoken to you?”
“No, and what’s with the twenty questions. Look, Betty, I’ve got to go. I’m busy.”
“No, you don’t have to go and you’re not busy. You don’t have a damn thing to do because you dumped it all on me, you selfish, insufferable cow. You’ve come back to town and you still expect me to open your store. Now answer me. Where would Andy go?”
“What did you call me?” Mona growled.
“A selfish, insufferable cow. I’ve been silently practicing it for years.
That’s why it rolled off my tongue so easily. Want me to repeat it again, or do you think you might know where Andy would go?” She was silent a moment then snapped her fingers. “Hurry up. The store won’t open itself and I need to find Andy before I do anything else.”
“What do you need him for?” Mona asked.
“It’s none of your business. Answer me. Now.” While she knew she was being rude, it was satisfying to finally be pulling a Mona on Mona.
“He has a camper van he bought when he was on leave. It’s in storage down at the lot on Gage Street. Now go open my store.”
“Later.” Elizabeth hung up.
I can’t miss him. I have to get to him before he leaves town. Gage Street was outside town, and she had no idea how much of a head start he had. She grabbed her purse and rushed out of the house, her heart pounding and every nerve in her body primed for action. She had to see Andy and explain herself to him before it was too late.
