by Eden Finley
“I thought feminism meant we should treat you all equally, so suck it, because I kicked your ass.” I dance around the half court like the goofball I am, which only makes Skylar laugh.
“That was a lucky rebound,” she protests.
I know she’s talking about the game, but my brain gets stuck on the word rebound, and then all I can think about is Wyatt.
I’ve been thinking about him for the last week.
“What’s with the face?” Skylar asks and throws the ball at my chest.
I catch it easily and smirk. “My beautiful face that you regret letting go?”
She rolls her eyes. “No, the moronic one that’s staring off into space as if trying to cure cancer.”
“I …” I want to confess everything to her, but she’s gonna be mad. She’ll hate the Wyatt thing more than the Noah thing, and she’ll hate even more that I didn’t tell her about either. “I need a hug.”
She smiles, and it still makes my chest flutter with affection even though it’s been eight years since we were together. Her short, black, pixie haircut is wet with sweat, her tank top shows off her sleeve tattoos, and her nose piercing glints in the late Sunday afternoon light. Skylar’s not only my ex but probably my best friend. We ended on relatively good terms, and we’ve only grown closer as the years pass. I should tell her what’s going on—I basically tell her most things anyway—but I hate when she yells. It’s all high-pitched and mean mommy-like.
“If I hug you, will you tell me?” she asks.
“Nah, it’s fine. I can work it out.” I drop the ball as she steps into my arms anyway.
The way I feel about Skylar is the same kind of love I’ve always had for Wyatt. We’re friends—great friends. But the potential for more with him is there now, and it makes me wonder if I’ve had these feelings for him this whole time lying dormant, just waiting for the right moment to hit me over the head.
Wyatt’s always been a relationship guy, and he’s so fucking gorgeous he can have any guy he wants. And I want him desperately to want me. Which is stupid. Because we’re friends.
Friends who fucked.
Then again, so were Noah and I. Now that situation’s messed up, and I’m trying to get over that too.
It’s confusing though, because I don’t know why I’m upset over Noah. I don’t think I actually want him anymore anyway. I’ve had a month to get over it, and I thought I was, but then … then he gets this new boyfriend and seems so serious about him. I have to ask why him and not me?
“Your thinking is hurting my brain,” Skylar says and steps back. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can help you with?”
“Positive. Thanks. I’ve just been thinking lately about what I want.”
“A million dollars, a gallon of lube, sixty-nine condoms, and a week on some orgy island somewhere.”
“Holy shit, can you read my mind?”
She laughs.
“But why sixty-nine condoms?”
“Best. Number. Ever.”
I pull her in for another hug. “I love you.”
“Okay, now I’m really worried.”
I sigh. “I should get going. You and Bec coming to the bar tomorrow night?”
“Yup. So are Damon and Maddox. Their cruise gets back in the morning.”
“And Noah?” I ask and try not to let my voice croak.
“Dunno about him. Isn’t he with that football guy now? How long do you reckon that’ll last?”
I want to say not long, but I don’t know if that’ll be true. “Noah’s already labeled him his boyfriend, so it must be serious.”
“Are you sure it’s not just the media saying that? Noah hasn’t had a boyfriend, like, ever.”
“He texted me some bullshit about being swept off his feet.”
“He did not.”
“Okay, that’s paraphrasing but it’s true. He’s in a legit relationship with the football player.”
“No. Fucking. Way.”
Sounds about right. “That was pretty much my reaction.”
“H-how do you feel about that?” Her voice is quiet and cautious.
I narrow my eyes. “What do you know?”
“Oh, hon, if you think I didn’t know you two have been going at it for months—”
“Almost a year, actually.”
Her eyes widen. “Damn, I’m slipping. I only picked up on it that night Damon and Maddox hooked up at Noah’s and he was talking to Matt, and you were shooting daggers at both of them.”
“Ah, yeah. That was kinda the end of us.”
Noah noticed my jealousy and freaked out. I tried to get him back, but he flat-out refused.
“Don’t worry, I haven’t spoken about it to anyone. Not even Bec. I figured you’d either come to me or work it out yourself that you two were a disaster together.”
“Yeah, well it ended in spectacular fashion.”
“He ran away?”
I nod.
“I’m sorry—”
“I don’t need the sympathy or pity. I just wish … I dunno what I wish for. To not feel like a loser?”
She wraps her arm around me. “Aron, I’m only going to say this once. You are a loser. You may as well accept it.”
I burst out laughing and nudge her.
“Okay, in all seriousness, you may be a loser, but it has nothing to do with falling for Noah.”
I run my hand through my hair. “That’s the thing though. I don’t know if … like, I’m not sure I fell for him. I cared about him, sure. No, I care for him. I think I wanted more because I might … I mean, I think—”
“There you go with that evil thinking thing again.”
“Right. The truth is …” Why’s it so hard to say? “I think I’m ready for a relationship. I thought I had potential with Noah, and we were practically in a relationship anyway, but he just didn’t realize it. So, when he said no, I think it was my ego that got crushed and not my heart?”
I’ve been trying to analyze this for the past week, but all it does is send me around in circles.
“You have an ego? Shocking.”
“Gah. I’m totally overthinking this, aren’t I? I can’t make any sense of what’s going on up here.” I point to my head.
And I’m totally overthinking Wyatt too, but she’s taken this news well. If I throw Wyatt on top, that’ll probably push her over the edge.
“I need to get going,” I say.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
If I were to answer that question truthfully, it’d probably be a no. “I will be.” I kiss her head. “I’ll see you and Bec tomorrow.”
Leaving the basketball courts, I have the sudden urge to see Wyatt. I want to know if the other night was a fluke or if something else is there. Maybe when I get there, all the confusion will disappear and I’ll only see him as my friend and not the guy I fucked last week and can’t stop thinking about.
I take out my phone and text: You home? Can I come over?
Wyatt: Will be in about twenty. See you then?
Aron: On my way.
4
Wyatt
I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans when the buzzer for the front entrance to the building goes off. Because the button to let Aron in is broken, I have to physically go out there to meet him.
My legs are jelly from nerves, and I’m scared about what he has to say. Any other time Aron has messaged to hang out, I haven’t thought anything of it. Now? All I can think about is being inside him, his loud moans as he comes, and what he looks like naked.
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
Never cross that line with friends.
At the door, Aron’s smile is easy and natural, while mine probably looks forced or like a serial killer’s when trying to act like a normal human being.
“Hey,” he says like he would any other day.
“Hi.” My voice is not like it is every other day, and I’m pretty sure it could be classed as a squeak. I clear my throat and step aside to let Aron pass.
“Usual. You?”
“Half day Fridays.” He does a Godawful Carlton dance, and I can’t help laughing at him. “Just got done shooting hoops with Skylar.”
“Ah, that’s why you’re all sweaty.” My gaze roams over his wet tank top, his sweaty biceps, and his tattoo, and I try to hold in a moan of appreciation. Damn him.
It’s been a long time since I looked at him this way, and with one night, he’s brought it all back.
Fucker.
It’s not his fault, I remind myself. I could’ve walked away.
Aron takes off his shoes and throws himself onto my long couch with his legs curled up beside him. “Wanna play some Halo?”
Guess nothing’s changed for him then. Although, he’s kinda avoiding eye contact.
“Sure.”
I turn on the console, grab the controllers, and throw him one. When my ass lands beside him, his feet loom close to my thigh, and suddenly I can’t concentrate on anything but his feet. The game starts on the screen, but I can’t seem to shoot anything. It’s like being this close to Aron now turns me into the dumb twink most guys assume I am.
I catch Aron glancing at me out the corner of my eye, but I try to ignore it.
“You okay?” he eventually says when I die in the game. “I usually die long before you do.”
Fuck, what do I do? Come clean? Tell the truth?
Nah, screw that. Avoidance all the way.
“Guess your sucky-ness is rubbing off on me.” God, don’t say rubbing off and mention anything to do with sucking in the same sentence.
As expected, my dick twitches in my jeans. I clear my throat and adjust the way I’m sitting.
Aron’s gaze burns into me, and my face heats. There’s a beat of silence that goes on just a bit too long, but then he says, “Last man standing wins.”
The flirt in me wants to ask “Wins what?” but instead, I take his prize-less bet and say “You’re on.”
We sink into the game, and it’s what we need to relax the charged air between us. That’s never been there before, and I don’t know how to deal with it.
But as the game goes on, everything between us goes back to normal, even if his feet still brush up against my thigh. I don’t know if he’s doing it on purpose or is unaware of it, but Aron appears less conflicted about our friendship than I do, so I don’t ask him to move.
If we have any hope of remaining friends, I have to swallow the niggly longing feeling that’s trying to make an appearance.
5
Aron
All I want to do the whole time I’m at Wyatt’s is throw him down on his couch and maul him, but instead, we both focus on trying to settle into some sort of normalcy between us.
But when I go home after hours of gaming, my chest aches with a sense of something missing. Perhaps it’s missing all the blood pumping through my heart because it’s currently in my dick, telling me I should’ve made another move on Wyatt.
I don’t want normalcy between us. I want him.
The thread holding our friendship together is starting to fray, and I fear it’ll snap if I do something to mess it up, but there’s no doubt about it; I want more.
The following night, as soon as I walk in the sports bar, my eyes immediately find Wyatt, and I break into a smile. On the outside, nothing’s changed, but on the inside, it’s like I’ve woken up. Last night was proof of that.
I make my way to Skylar and Rebecca first, kissing each of them and then lifting my chin in hello to Damon and Maddox. When I reach Wyatt, my heart stutters. His cologne is sandalwood scented but all I can smell is sex.
Two rounds of really hot sex.
I quickly sit on the stool next to his to hide my hardening cock.
“Hey,” he says with an easy smile.
“Hi.” My voice comes out like a breath, and I can’t tear my gaze away from him.
“Earth to Aron,” Damon says, waving his hand in front of my face.
I shake off my Wyatt distraction. “Wha?”
Damon’s green eyes glimmer in amusement. “Drink. You want anything?”
“Oh, I’ll come with.” I stand and for some inexplicable reason turn to Wyatt. “You good? Want me to get you something?”
His lips quirk as he lifts his almost full beer. “I’m all good.”
Ah. Right. With a nod, I follow Damon to the bar.
“You okay?” he asks when we’re waiting in line.
I startle. “Wha?” Apparently, this is the extent of my ability to create words now.
“Where are you tonight? You’re here but not really here.”
“I’m fine. Just distracted. How was your cruise?” I almost choke on the words, and I pray to God that he doesn’t bring up Noah and Matt. There are bigger, more confusing things I’d rather think about than them.
Damon grins as he stares over his shoulder at his boyfriend. “The best.”
“You and Maddox the real deal then? Living together already?”
“Yup. Real deal. If he can survive living with me for the next year, we’re gonna buy a place.”
“Whoa. That’s not just the real deal, that’s like … Rebecca and Skylar real deal. Like a future and promises of forever and shit.”
Damon shakes his head. “Maddox doesn’t do marriage, but I’m okay with what we have. It’ll still be forever.”
“What’s that like?” I wonder, and it takes me a second to realize it comes out aloud.
“What’s what like?”
“Having someone you know will last?”
“Awesome.”
Is this what longing feels like? My chest aches, and I don’t like it. The conversation I had with Wyatt the night we hooked up replays in my head, and the longer I’ve had to think about it, the more I realize he’s probably right.
I haven’t been hung up on Noah. I’ve been hung up over the relationship I thought we could have. I want someone in my life. Someone important. The fact he went out and found it so fast makes me wonder if I’m just not relationship material.
When we’re served our drinks and go back to the table, Wyatt smiles at me again, and it’s a cocky, knowing smile that says, “We’ve totally seen each other naked.”
And I really want to see it again. If the way Wyatt’s gaze roams over me says anything, he wouldn’t mind seeing it again too.
If that were to happen, though, I have no idea what it’d mean for us.
We agreed that one night was smart so things wouldn’t get messy.
Fuck, I wanna get messy with him.
But then my last mess walks through the door with his next mistake hanging off his arm.
Wyatt’s brow furrows as my face falls, and when he sees why, he purses his lips.
Noah stands there, tall and smug like normal, only this time he’s talking to a giant of a guy with a thick beard and a body like a fucking God. Okay, yeah, I have to admit the football player is hot.
Gah, why do I hate this so much? I was literally drooling over Wyatt twenty seconds ago, and now I’m mad the football player is here?
I haven’t been this confused since I watched my first ever porno at fourteen and wondered why both the male and female turned me on.
While Noah and his boyfriend take a seat, I lose myself even more. The conversations float around me as if I’m underwater. Damon thought I was weird at the bar, but it’s nothing compared to now.
Wyatt follows Noah to the bar, leaving me alone … well, Skylar and Bec, Maddox and Damon are here too, but sitting just a few seats away from me is Mr. Perfect himself.
I can’t help checking him out, trying to figure out what he has that I don’t.
A multi-million-dollar paycheck maybe?
Ugh. Right. That.
Not that Noah needs the money. He’s a gajillion-flippty-floppity-aire. His money has money, and then that money has lots of little baby money running around.
I just do
n’t get why this new guy changes everything Noah stands for. It makes me wonder why I’m not good enough.
That’s a dangerous thinking path. One I don’t really want to take.
“Hey, guys, I’m …” I shake my head. “Yeah, I’m gonna go. Drink ain’t sitting right.”
“Aron,” Skylar says with sympathy in her eyes.
“I’m okay,” I try to reassure her, but I don’t think I pull it off.
When I walk up to Noah and Wyatt at the bar, my palms sweat, but I don’t know which one of them is causing it.
“I’m out.”
I stare at Noah, waiting for him to say something, respond … anything, but I know I’m wasting my energy. This is Noah. It’s what he does. I knew that all along, and yet here I am, still hoping he wakes up to himself and stops being a dick—give me an explanation, an apology. Something.
Not that it’d make a difference.
When I realize it’s futile and won’t change anything even if he did say something, my feet move as fast as they can out to the street, and I don’t slow down and take a breath until after a few blocks.
Running footsteps and heavy breathing catch up to me soon after, but I know it won’t be Noah, and for the first time since we ended things, I don’t wish it to be him. There’s only one guy I want it to be, and sure enough, when Wyatt appears at my side, I can’t help breaking into a smile.
“Holy fuck, that’s so not fair. Your legs are way longer than mine.”
“You didn’t have to follow me. I’m a big boy.”
“I wanted to.”
“Adopt a loser day?”
He pinches me. “Call yourself a loser one more time and you might actually become one.”
Wyatt’s right. I’ve never let anyone make me feel less than worthy before, so I don’t know why I let Noah get to me. Maybe I just need time to get over the crush to my ego.
“So, I’m guessing our little rebound didn’t work,” Wyatt says.
I think it worked too well, I want to say, because I still don’t know how I can be looking at Wyatt right now wanting to undress him and fuck him here on the street, when I just left the bar because of another guy.
