by Ashton Johns
Daisy and her kindness—the sweet and pure nature of someone so untouched by the shitty existence I led—and my mom.
I worried that she’d fade from my mind the older I got. I’d learned to cope with the sadness her death caused me and remember the time she’d been in my life. It wasn’t her fault; she’d done her very best for me until she took her last breath. Thinking of her and the way she loved me helped me to fight off my despair at my new situation.
We’d lived a simple life, just she and I in a little two bed rental, and I was her world. Everything she did was for me. I never wanted for anything, and the only friend she had was a neighbor next door who had a kid the same age as me. My mom and Paighton had an arrangement that meant they both had childcare. While one worked at night, the other worked days. I grew up thinking Cory was my brother, and when my mom fell ill, I relied on Paighton more and more. It’s hard to understand when you’re six why your own mother can’t cook your mac and cheese anymore. As she got sicker, the days she got out of bed became fewer and fewer, and thinking back now, I wish I’d spent more time looking after her than racing round the yard with Cory. If only I’d known how precious those few years were.
I never knew who my dad was. It never seemed important enough to cross my mind because my mom gave me everything I needed. When Paighton finally called in the doctor, I remembered crying as they took my mom away in an ambulance, and that was the last I saw of her. She passed away a few days later, and that odd feeling of nothingness was still something I forced myself to feel now if I had days when I reminisced too much. Apart from a short time with an amazing foster family, I’d been in state care where despair and loneliness seeped through the brickwork and suffocated most of us kids one way or another. For me it had been the loneliness, knowing I had no one to call my family. No one who cared if I lived or died.
I turned over and breathed deeply, forcing happy memories back to the front of my mind. I was warm, I had a full belly, and my best friend was snoring beside me.
This was my choice, and whether I lived to see another day was down to me, not some state funded kids home run by a spiteful witch or foster family who took you in to treat you like a butler.
Five
Daisy Ingles
It was only just after eight when I turned on the Mac on my desk, but Meredith’s office door swung open straight away. She stood in the doorway, tapping her foot, hands on hips with a face as red as the usual scarlet of her nails.
“You’re late,” she growled. “Get in here now.”
I sighed, not bothering to tell her that I was actually fifteen minutes early. There was no point. She was a bitch and never listened.
“Tell me about the tramp,” she said as soon as I closed her office door behind me. “What leverage do we have to get him to appear on the show?”
That was Meredith all over—talking at tangents, vocalizing the jumble of thoughts that bumped around in her head.
“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand,” I replied, trying not to look her in the eye. I learned on my first day that you never met Meredith’s eye; her stare could bring you to your knees. Either that or turn you to stone. She could have been Medusa in a past life.
“The homeless guy,” she said, blatantly exasperated by me. “I said last night, or weren’t you listening? I want to use him on the show. He’ll be our hook. He’s going to be our millionaire, at least as far as the stupid bitches taking part think.”
I tried not to gasp too loudly; it was best to never show Meredith that you were shocked by any of her ideas. Never let her think you believed her to be anything less than a genius, so shock was not a good emotion to display.
“What?” she snapped. “You’re looking at me like I just shot your damn puppy. He’ll be glad to be off the fucking streets, believe me.”
I didn’t doubt that, but from the little I knew of Kade, I knew he had his pride and would hate being treated like some World Fair exhibit.
“I’m not sure it’s really ethical, Meredith.”
“Ethics, shmethics,” she scoffed, with a wave of her hand. “He’ll get paid, have a roof over his head, decent clothes on his back and food in his belly. You tell me what’s unethical about that?”
“You’re exploiting him.” I pushed my glasses up my nose and tried desperately not to end that sentence with the addendum – ‘you selfish bitch’.
“I’m fucking not. I’d be exploiting him if I didn’t pay him and didn’t tell the viewers that he was some homeless schmuck, but that’s the whole point. I’m not going to.” She preened, running her long fingernails through her hair.
“Why don’t you just get a real-life millionaire? Having Kade won’t win you an award if the audience doesn't know he’s really homeless. The show will simply be another reality TV show about rich men and stupid women.”
Meredith visibly winced; I’d obviously hit the mark with my description of her latest ‘baby’. I had no doubt this was a great opportunity for Kade to get off the streets, but something about it didn’t sit straight with me. I didn’t like to think that Kade’s life would become public property. He was a quiet and thoughtful man from what I’d seen, and I wasn’t sure how he’d cope being under media scrutiny.
“How do you propose we keep it from the media?” I asked. “You know what they’re like. They’ll find out his real story and that will just spoil the whole concept for the show.”
Meredith seemed to contemplate this for mere seconds, and then waved it away. “We can create him a back story that not even the FBI would be able to crack.”
I doubted that, but Meredith was evidently more confident than I was.
“People might recognize him. People who knew him before he was homeless. I mean I know he’s from out of state but even so.”
Meredith stalked over to the plate glass window that overlooked the busy street below and stared out at the city.
“There is that I guess. Maybe we do tell the viewers,” she said, tapping a long red nail against her teeth. “Hmm, I’m liking that idea. We all know, but the poor fucking bitches who want him don’t. Shit, that would be good. It’ll all be recorded. We’ll keep them all on lock down in some rental mansion that they think is his, and none of them will know.”
“But that makes the girls look stupid.” I sighed.
Meredith turned to face me and shrugged her shoulders. “And?”
I shook my head. “I just think that it’s unfair to put Kade in the spotlight just because he’s homeless. If you want to help him, give him a job,” I gushed, suddenly excited that maybe we could help Kade get into employment.
Meredith curled her lip and flopped down into the huge leather chair behind her desk.
“Okay, Daisy,” she said with an air of weariness. “I’ll put it as plainly as I can. Whichever way I decide to run with this, your homeless buddy is going to be my millionaire, and the show’s concept will be ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’. The audience will love it, the reality TV board will think its genius to have a moral behind a reality show. Forget that it’ll be scripted, Sutton will finally be able to sleep safe at night without wondering whether he’s going to be robbed or pillaged in the biblical sense. You get me?”
“You didn’t say it would be scripted.” I smacked my hand against my forehead, totally exasperated. “I get that situations might be suggested to them, but scripted?”
Meredith huffed out a laugh. “You think I’m going to leave my award in the hands of a homeless bum? Get real.”
“What if Kade won’t do it?” I pouted, feeling braver than I ever had with Meredith before. I needed to ensure Kade wasn’t manipulated just for Meredith’s own ends. I hardly knew him, but I liked what I did know. He’d had a hard life—he’d told me he lost his mom when he was only a child, so, if I needed to stand my ground while shaking in my shoes just to help him, well, I would do it.
Meredith tilted her head back and looked down her nose at me. “Let’s put it this way, Daisy Duke, if
Kade and the Littlest Hobo aren’t on board then you, sugar tits, will lose your job. Now, I don’t doubt you would be grateful to be away from me, but for some reason you keep coming back every day, no matter how much shit I give you. That tells me you need this job, so get Sutton on board or get out of the door.”
My stomach lurched and my heart hammered against my breastbone. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. I had enough money to contribute to Mom’s medication bills for a while and to send her and Pop to Mexico or Belize. It wasn’t Europe but they’d love that just as much. So, she could shove her job as far as I was concerned.
“I tell you what,” Meredith said, interrupting my thoughts. “You get Kade to agree, I’ll not only let you keep your job, but I’ll give you a two-thousand-dollar bonus.”
I opened my mouth to say that wasn’t enough to make me manipulate the kind, handsome young man who had fallen on hard times, when Meredith continued.
“And if we win that award with Kade in the show, I’ll give you another ten thousand dollars.”
My mouth dropped open as a cold sweat formed on my brow. Ten thousand dollars, along with what I could save myself would help pay for Mom’s medication for a while—a long while.
“Okay,” I said quickly, hating myself as soon as the word came out.
Meredith smiled smugly and picked up the receiver of the phone on her desk. “Well get out there and persuade him then.”
“What if I can’t?” I asked, knowing it was a possibility.
“Then you lose your job. Simple.”
As Meredith waved me out of her office, I felt nausea rising in my throat. I hated the idea of manipulating Kade, but it was something I had to do. My mom and pop were depending on me
Six
Kade Sutton
Well that had been a total blast – not! The night in the hostel was one of the most uncomfortable I’d ever had. Not the bed—that had been good, comfy enough to send me to sleep pretty much straight away. The problem was the guy next to me. The poor dude had night terrors most of the night, screaming about, of all people, Dolly Parton stabbing him with his damn underwear.
His screaming had set Brody off howling, which in turn made a guy a few beds down join in with him. Thankfully, the night officer had been pretty cool and didn’t throw us out. He did have to move the Dolly Parton guy, though. He was hysterical and wouldn’t believe Dolly wasn’t gunning for him. My guess was he’d taken some pretty bad drugs—another reason I was glad I’d managed to stay clean.
Luckily, my usual spot next to Daisy’s office building was free. It was funny how I always made for there these days. I tried to kid myself into believing it was because it was a busy sidewalk and I got a decent amount of food, but the way my heart stuttered whenever I saw her bouncing towards me told me that her pretty face and kooky dress sense were what pulled me there.
I’d been late this morning as I’d had breakfast at the hostel, so hadn’t seen her going into the office as usual, so when I spotted her coming towards me, I grinned big. Today, her hair was in two braids, and she was wearing a huge sweater that fell off one shoulder, a pair of real tight jeans that stopped at her ankles and a pair of silver Chucks.
“Hey, Daisy,” I greeted her, getting to my feet. “You going out for office coffees or somethin’?”
She gave me a tight smile and shook her head. “No, I’m here to see you.”
“Me? How come?” I asked, giving Brody an absent-minded scratch. “Oh, let me guess… I won the lottery and you came to tell me.”
I let out a laugh but cut it short when I noticed that Daisy was chewing on her thumbnail and didn’t look happy.
“What’s wrong?” My heart thudded. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Nothing like that.”
“So, what then? Don’t tell me that bitch you work for has upset you again.”
“Well,” she sighed. “It is to do with her, but it’s to do with you, too.”
“She better have deleted that picture, because if she’s done something stupid with it, I will not be happy.”
Daisy looked up the street and then back to me.
“You fancy a coffee from Demetri?” She nodded towards the huge Greek guy who sold coffee and burritos from a cart just up the street. “My treat.”
I laughed. “Well it would have to be. I kinda forgot my wallet.”
Daisy cringed. “Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey,” I said, laying a fairly clean hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m joking with ya.”
She nodded and turned towards Demetri.
“Stay, Brody,” I said to my best friend, but still tied him to the drainage pipe, just in case. He looked up at me with his big eyes, and if I hadn’t known better, I’d have said he sighed before settling down onto the cardboard that I used to sit on. With a last scratch to his head, I followed Daisy.
“You have to be fucking kidding me,” I hissed. “Sorry for cussing, but that is not happening.”
“I did tell her,” Daisy sighed. “But she wouldn’t listen.”
“I want to get off these streets more than anyone, believe me I do, but I’m not being paraded in front of millions of people like some circus freak.”
Daisy grinned. “It won’t be millions, maybe not even thousands. I can promise you that. We’re not exactly the most watched cable channel in the state. In fact, we’re not even the fourth and when you consider there are only five reality channels, that’s pretty bad, right?”
I leaned back on the bench we were sat on and looked over towards Brody. It would be nice to sleep in a bed for more than one night a week, and to shower every day and put clean clothes on.
“Why do you look so unhappy about it?” I asked, taking a sip of the strong, black brew in my hand. “Don’t you think I should do it?”
Daisy stared up at me, looking over the top of the black-rimmed glasses perched on the end of her nose. “Truth?”
I nodded.
“I think she’s using you for her own ends. I don’t think she cares that it will get you off the streets. All she cares about is winning that award.”
“So, she thinks that me being the ‘playboy’,” I said, making air quotes with my fingers, “will get her that award?”
“That’s about it. She thinks the reality TV board and the media will lap up the moral message the show gives.”
“Which is what? Don’t trust the rich guy? Because I have to be honest with you, I’m all in on that one.”
I didn’t expect anything from anyone, but those who tended to give me money and food were usually not those who could afford it the most. The haves were generally less generous than the have nots.
“No, the moral compass of the whole thing will be ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’.”
“And I’ll be the book?”
“I’m sorry, Kade,” she breathed out. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I should have told Meredith to stick her idea up her ass.”
I watched as she rubbed at her temple. Something was worrying her. “So why didn’t you? What’s the old witch got on you, Daisy?”
She looked at me, startled, opening and closing her mouth like a real cute fish.
“I… Well, I…”
“Come on, Daisy, I thought we were friends—as much as a smelly homeless guy and a pretty girl can be.”
Her cheeks pinked and I kinda wished I hadn’t said she was pretty. She was, but I shouldn’t have said it. The girl brought me and my dog food, for fuck’s sake. I had no right to speak to her like that.
“She threatened to fire me,” she suddenly announced.
“What?” I shifted on the bench to get a better look at her. “She did what?”
“She threatened to fire me if you didn’t do the show, and I wouldn’t care, Kade, I really wouldn’t, but I need the money.”
“What for? What’s so important that you feel the need to work for her?”
She lowered her lashes and twisted her hands together between her knees.
“Daisy?”
“You’ll think it’s shallow, you know, with you being in the situation you’re in. I think it’s shallow to a certain point, but Mom and Pop, well they need it.” Her eyes were pleading with me to understand, and she looked so sad I’d have needed a heart of cold steel to agree she was shallow. Whatever it was, it was a huge deal.
“Tell me,” I urged.
“My mom had a kidney transplant and it took all their money, so they live in my apartment with me, and Pop always promised Mom that when he left the force he’d take her to Europe, but of course that wasn’t possible, and she still has to have medicine, which is super expensive, and I just wanted them to have something nice, and if the show wins the award, Meredith said I’d get a bonus and that would not only get them a real nice trip but contribute to Mom’s medicine bills for ages…”
“Hey, Daisy?” I laughed, putting a hand on her forearm. “Take a breath.”
“Sorry, I just feel so bad. Doing this for money when you have nothing.” She let out a long breath and looked up at the sky. “Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d just taken a different route? You know, if you’d taken a different road to school one day would you have met someone who would change your life? Or maybe if you’d sat in a different doorway some really rich person might have come along and given you a job. I do, all the time.” She turned her gaze back to me and shrugged. “All the damn time, Kade.”
I had never wondered about my life. It was what it was. It was the fucking path a selfish bastard like me was meant to take, all because of Cory. Helping Daisy by doing this went toward salving my soul. I’d been helpless to save my mom but maybe I could Daisy’s. Mom was my world and I wouldn’t wish that desolation and heartbreak on anyone. If by doing this shit show I could spare Daisy that, I would.
“I’ll do it,” I said, leaning forward to throw my now empty cup into the trash. “I’ll do the show as long as you promise me one thing.”
