Scripted Reality: Formerly I Wanna Get Laid by Kade

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Scripted Reality: Formerly I Wanna Get Laid by Kade Page 7

by Ashton Johns


  “I believe she has just shaped one of your eyebrows,” she confirmed.

  “Shaped? With what? A blowtorch?” I cried, watery tears forming beneath my eyelids.

  “No. Hot wax,” torture girl replied.

  “Well, no more of that shit. I’m not a damn chick. There is nothing fucking wrong with my eyebrows.”

  Daisy was struggling to hold in a laugh. “You have to do the other one, Kade.”

  “I do not,” I protested, spinning around and sitting upright to look in a mirror. “Jesus Christ, what have you done? Make it quick,” I conceded, seeing that my face would look ridiculous with only one done. “How you women do this is beyond me?”

  The therapist began to whisper to Daisy who replied with, “I think we should give that a miss.”

  “What? What are we missing?” I enquired.

  Once again, Daisy giggled. “You were down to have a back, sack and crack wax, too.” As soon as she saw the look of horror on my face, her giggling turned extreme and I wasn’t the only one with tears rolling down my face.

  I’d been here forever, and no one had approached the subject of my hair yet. “Daisy, are we going to be here much longer? I’m beginning to feel like some kind of beauty experiment.”

  “You’re nearly done and then we move on to the dentist and barbers.”

  When I was finally allowed to put my clothes back on, I felt weird. I could smell my own natural body odor and it wasn’t unpleasant. My hands seemed to glisten when I moved my fingers, they’d not been this clean in years. They’d even worked around my beard and my face felt as tight as drum skin when I grimaced or smiled. I was starting to feel like someone else. It had been a long, long time since I’d felt this clean or smelled this good.

  At the dentist, I was given a serious scale and polish. The hygienist who did the work was dressed up in some kind of hazmat suit, she was that worried about what she would be excavating, and I don’t use the word excavation lightly. It felt like someone had been between my poor ivories with a pneumatic drill. For the first time ever, I could feel air flowing between my teeth and around my gums after she’d finished. Quickly, I was ushered into a second room, and a different woman covered my lips and gums in some kind of rubber shield and began to paint them with a brush and some solution. I was left to bake in that room for God knows how long before being dispatched with some kind of mouth contraption and the words, “You can use this solution yourself to stay on top of your own whitening program.” One look at the woman handing it over convinced me I was never doing it again. Her own smile was so bright they should have issued Ray Bans to protect anyone who was forced to have a conversation with her.

  By this time, I was beginning to doubt whether Brody would recognize me when we went to pick him up. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I’d recognize myself when this was all finished. Daisy’s interest in my transformation was getting more and more as the process continued. We’d never spent so long in each other’s company before, and while I was trying to get a closer look at her, I could tell she was doing the same. Although, to say she wasn’t very covert was an understatement. Every time I caught her glancing my way, she’d jump a little bit and raise the magazine she was pretending to read. At one point in the afternoon, I noticed she hadn’t actually turned a page for nearly two hours. I had to be honest—I liked her gaze on me, and for the second time that day, it was perking up parts of me that hadn’t been ‘perked’ in a while.

  Then came the words I didn’t want to hear: “Kade, one more stop and then we can go and get Brody. Time to visit the hair salon.”

  Thirteen

  Daisy Ingles

  I had to admit Kade was looking pretty hot since he’d been polished and shined. His skin, without the grime, was remarkably clear for someone who’d lived on the streets for three years, and the way he filled out the cargo pants I got for him… Well, he made Ralph Lauren proud. I know, I shouldn’t have spent that much, but I figured Meredith would want him to have the best, and his long legs were perfect for the straight cut, designer pants that cost what I would spend on two weeks’ worth of groceries.

  “I’m keeping some of the length,” Kade muttered as he lifted his palms to smell his hands. “I did say that, right?”

  “Yes, Kade.” I grinned. “You did say that, and yes you can keep it longer in length. We just need to tidy it up.” I looked up at his hair. It was so unkempt I wondered if something could be living in it. “So, tell me, is the long hair a product of living on the streets, or have you always worn it that way?”

  Kade shook his head. “Not totally. In the homes we had our hair pretty much hacked off—to keep away the head lice apparently. It wasn’t until I moved in with my foster mom that I was allowed to grow it.”

  “That sounds awful,” I replied, guiding him across the car park towards my ancient Smart car.

  “Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “When I left the home and started my new school, the kids used to make fun of me and shout baldy at me during every recess.”

  “What?” I gasped. “They shaved you bald?”

  “No, it was just real short, but kids don’t think about things like that when it means they can get a laugh.”

  “God, kids sure are cruel,” I whispered, a lump forming in my throat at the thought of Kade being bullied. I really felt his pain.

  “Ah, don’t worry about it,” Kade said, waving a dismissive hand at me. “I kicked their butts, and once my hair started to grow, the girls were putty in my hands. The other guys in the class didn’t get a look in. Not wishing to sound like an egotistical idiot, but with long brown hair and bright blue eyes, I was kinda pretty.”

  Irrationally, I felt a small stab of jealousy at the thought of a group of girls fawning all over him. They were probably the cool girls—the mean girls—who made it quite clear that the nerdy, quiet girls were not allowed to even look Kade’s way. Holy fudge! What was going on with me? I couldn’t peel my eyes away this morning, and now I was getting jealous over a bunch of girls I never even knew.

  “Okay,” I said, letting out a long breath. “This is me.”

  Kade looked at my car and smiled. “Loving the flowers.”

  “What can I say,” I shrugged. “I love daisies.”

  I’d bought the car from an English lady. Originally, she hadn’t wanted to part with it but apparently, she’d met some rich guy who wanted to buy her a fancy car, so she put it on Craigslist. I saw it and I loved it. The problem was, it was a little bit boring being all black, so I’d pimped it with huge daisy stickers on the sides.

  “Not sure I’ll get in it, though.” Kade groaned. “It’s a pretty small car.”

  As I got into my seat, I giggled as I watched him fold his long legs into the passenger seat. His knees were practically under his chin. It was a real tight fit for him.

  “You can put the seat back,” I said. “My mom was the last person I had in here, and she’s pretty small and likes to be right upfront where the action is.”

  “How small is she?” Kade muttered as he slid the seat back. “Is she a munchkin or an Oompa-Loompa?”

  “She’s very small.” I laughed, thinking about my tiny little mom. “So, you okay?”

  Kade nodded. “Yep, let’s do this.”

  As I thrust the stick shift into gear, Kade blew out a long breath and I knew he was not looking forward to the next part one little bit.

  When we pulled up outside Dominique’s, I thought Kade was going to have some sort of fit and pass out. He was practically jumping in his seat with a huge Cheshire cat grin on his face.

  “Seriously?” he asked.

  I couldn’t help but reciprocate his smile as I nodded. Dominique’s was the most exclusive hair salon in the city, probably in the whole of the state, and appointments were at a premium. It was amazing, though, what Meredith’s offer of some network TV advertising could get you: an appointment with Dominique, their top stylist and owner.

  “Okay, let’s…” I started to say, but Ka
de was already out of the car.

  I got out and stood next to him on the sidewalk where he was gazing up at the signage. It was black with scrolling gold letters and its logo—a gold silhouette of a crown on the head of a woman with extremely long, flowing hair.

  “Wow,” he gasped. “My foster mom used to rave about this place when I was a kid?”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. She’d never shut up about the place, talked about it a lot.”

  I looked up at his handsome face as he stared up at the sign with a wistful smile, and my heart did a little flutter. Okay, so the reason we were here wasn’t ideal, but the fact that I, well the studio, could bring back a happy memory for him made me feel as though I’d done a really good thing. He was obviously thrilled and that made me beyond happy.

  “Yep,” he said, taking a deep breath. “A real lot. Bernadette, my foster mom, she didn’t have much, so her dream was to come here one day. I used to tell her I’d pay for her when I was older and got a job, but of course that never happened. Then, when I was thirteen, she had a heart attack and her husband, Larry, couldn’t cope with looking after us kids and Bernadette, so the three of us had to leave her and go back into a state home, so…”

  He trailed off and looked down at the ground, hanging his hands off the back of his neck.

  “Hey,” I said, laying my palm on his back. “You okay?”

  Kade looked up at me, his eyes full of emotion, and gave me a small smile.

  “I’m okay. Bernie would’ve loved this, you know. I wish she was here to see it.”

  “Do you still have her number or know where she lives? We could call her,” I said excitedly.

  “She died,” Kade said, turning back to look at the signage. “We all visited for a couple of years, but then she had another heart attack and went.”

  “Oh, Kade, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I wrapped my arms around my waist and worried my bottom lip with my teeth, concerned that all of this coupled with reliving old memories was too much for him.

  “I’m not upset,” he replied. “Just a little disappointed she didn’t get to fulfill her dream.”

  I had no idea what to say to him. It was hard hearing about more misery he’d had to live through. He’d obviously loved her, and for her to have died must have been heartbreaking for him. Two special women in his life and they were both dead. I knew how I would have felt if my mom had died. I mean, she very nearly had. Only the dialysis was keeping her alive until she had the transplant, but thank God it did. We were real lucky she survived.

  “I think,” I said with a long exhale, “that Bernadette probably knows you’re here, and she’s happy for you.”

  Kade looked at me and grinned, nodding his head. “Yeah, I think so too.”

  “Come on then, let’s see what Dominique can do for you.”

  “Shit, you’re kidding me,” Kade cried, lacing his fingers at the back of his head. “The Dominique is doing my hair? Shit, Bernie will be sooo jealous.”

  “Yes.” I giggled. “So, come on or we’ll be late and that would never do.”

  Kade almost ran to the doorway, and seeing his joy made me feel happier than I had in a long, long time.

  Fourteen

  Kade Sutton

  “Woah,” I gasped as Ginny, one of Dominique's girls, placed a bottle of beer in front of me. “This is so cool, Daisy.”

  Despite the fact I smelled and looked like a pussy, while oil soaked into my damaged hair, this really was cool. I looked like a real idiot with Saran wrap around my head, but shit, it was Dominique’s, and the Dominique Jeffers had touched my hair. Admittedly, I’d been a little scared at first when she sheared my hair to shoulder length, which apparently was only the start of it. Dominique told me more was to be cut off and it would be styled properly. I hated to admit it, but it was already looking better. She knew exactly what she was doing.

  Daisy grinned and pushed her glasses back up her cute nose. “I know, right?” She lifted a plate with a selection of pastries and cakes on it. “Want one?”

  I thought about saying no after my binge in the hotel room, but that had been hours ago now and there’d been no adverse effects so far.

  “Okay, something small,” I said, peering at the plate and picking a cookie shaped thing with a few nuts on one side and covered in chocolate on the other.

  “Florentines are my favorite treat in the whole world,” Daisy chirruped with a little stamp of her silver chucks.

  “You want it?” I asked, offering it back to her.

  Her cheeks pinked and she lowered her lashes. “I had two already,” she said with a little grimace.

  “Wow, greedy girl. All mine then.” I took a bite of the cookie and had to stop myself from letting out some sort of sexual gratification groan.

  It was amazing. The crunchy nuts combined with the chocolate and caramel was like nothing I’d ever tasted before; well, nothing I’d tasted since I’d been homeless anyway. Cookies, candy and cakes were things you avoided when you had no idea when your next meal would be. That swift pleasure the sugar brought didn’t last long, and before you knew it you were hungry again. To be able to eat this and not worry about it brought a lump to my throat. I hadn’t realized how hard life had been, and yet just these few hours of being normal, of wearing clean clothes and simply being clean myself had been like a sledgehammer to the head. My life had been shit for years, and not just because I’d been on the streets for a lot of them, so I was grateful for the calm and peace. I was grateful for Daisy.

  “You know, Daisy,” I said, finishing off the Florentine, “I know I shouldn’t, but I’m kinda looking forward to the show.”

  She looked at me wide eyed, a little cake thing halfway to her mouth. “You are?”

  “Yeah. I know I’ll probably live to regret saying that, but it’ll be nice to talk to other people, dress up a little and eat good food. I wouldn’t have that if Meredith hadn’t railroaded me into it.”

  “Oh God.” Daisy gasped. “You’re not starting to like her, are you?”

  The look of horror on her face made me laugh. Her glasses had dropped right to the end of her nose, and her mouth was wide open.

  “Shit, no!” I exclaimed. “She’s a damn bitch, but that doesn’t mean you and I can’t have some fun while we’re in the house.”

  “Mansion,” Daisy corrected.

  “Okay, mansion. Whatever it is, we can still have fun.”

  Daisy’s eyes glistened like the sun on a pool of water, but her brows were furrowed, and I knew instantly that she was feeling torn.

  “I’m not suggesting anything really bad,” I said, trying to placate her. “Just let’s make the most of it. We’ll treat it like a vacation.”

  “Funny thing, that’s exactly what I thought earlier. It’ll be a vacation away from Meredith if nothing else.”

  I watched as she rubbed her temple and narrowed her eyes.

  “Why are you so worried about it, then? I know you are. I can see it in your face.”

  She shrugged and placed the plate of goodies onto the side table beside her. “I have to tell my mom and pop that I’ll be gone all summer, and I’m not sure they’ll like why. They hate that I work for Meredith as it is, so if I tell them she’s pushed me into this, they’ll be crazy mad.”

  “It was kinda me really, though, who pushed you into it,” I said, feeling bad. “I understand if you want to change your mind.”

  Daisy shook her head. “No, no way. Apart from the fact I signed a contract and the money will help my folks an awful lot, I also promised you and I don’t go back on a promise.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I’d understand and I’m sure Meredith would prefer you not to be on the show.”

  “Hmm, probably,” she said, bobbing her head. “Which is why I’m definitely doing it.”

  We both laughed and I felt a little better.

  “Do your parents know why you’re working for Meredith—to help them out?”

 
“Yes and no. Obviously, they know that as well as paying the majority of the household bills, I give them money toward the cost of Mom’s meds. What they don’t know is that I chose to leave the animal shelter. They just think they couldn’t afford to pay me any longer.” She looked thoughtful as she stared ahead. “And so, I went to work for Meredith.”

  “You think you’ll go back there, once you have the money you need?”

  She grinned wide and nodded. “Oh yes, Pat and Sonia already said I could. They didn’t want me to leave in the first place, but the pay isn’t great, so they understood. I’ll probably need to get a waitressing or bar job too, the money I make from this won’t last forever and Mom will always need her meds.”

  “I guess it’s good pay at the studio, right.” I scratched at my head under the cap, wondering what the hell Dominique had put on it. “But no way you want to stay.”

  “The pay is pretty good. Much better than the shelter, but nothing like Meredith earns,” she replied with a laugh. “And no, I definitely don’t want to stay. This will give me a bit of breathing space and opportunity to leave that hell hole behind.”

  We fell into silence for a while, and I nodded off for a few minutes, but Dominique removing the Saran from my head startled me.

  “Oh hey,” I said, wiping a little drool from the corner of my mouth.

  “You’re nice and cooked now,” she said in her rich, smooth tone. “So, come with me, honey, and I’ll make you even more handsome.”

  Dominique moved me to the other side of the salon, away from Daisy, and pushed me down into a chair.

  “So, is she your bae?” she asked, nodding his head towards Daisy as she placed a pot of creamy stuff on a cart next to her. “She’s beautiful.”

 

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