by Beth Flynn
He blew out a sigh of relief and we turned around and started walking back to his house.
“I have to tell you. I appreciate that you’ve been so willing to wait, Jake. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you in prison for all those years without sex.” I quickly caught myself and said, “Well, I’m sure you had sex. Just not with women. Wait, I wasn’t trying to imply you had sex with men, I’m just saying…”
“Stop, Barbie,” he said with a laugh. “It’s okay. I know you’re not implying I had sex with men in prison. And I wasn’t completely abstinent behind bars.”
I gave him a curious look. “But you couldn’t be with a woman in prison, right?”
He looked skyward. “I had sex with women while I was in prison, Barbie. So did Kenny.”
“You had conjugal visits with girlfriends?” I was feeling selfish because I didn’t like the thought of either of them having women they cared about while they were behind bars.
“Conjugal implies marriage. I didn’t marry any of the paid prostitutes that came to the prison. I had sex with them.” He said it like it was common.
I stopped walking and looked over at him. “You had sex with prostitutes in prison? How is that possible? And please tell me you used protection.”
He tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me along. “About the protection. Always. And with the right connections and a deep purse, you can have anything inside prison that you can have on the outside, except your freedom—everything from women and drugs to liquor and Pop-Tarts. In more recent years, cell phones were even available. There are very few people who won’t take a bribe, Barbie. Especially in a facility where the prisoner-to-guard-and-staff ratio is so skewed. And even more so when you’re incarcerated in the most corrupt detention facility in the United States.”
“Did you have a cell phone?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t need one. I didn’t have anybody to call.”
That was enlightening. And sad. I still had some things I wanted to know about Kenny, but felt I needed to broach the subject delicately.
“Is it okay if I ask you more about Kenny? I promise I won’t ask after today. I don’t want you to think he’ll always be part of us, Jake.”
He stopped and gave me a serious look. “Barbie, I’m not threatened by your feelings for Kenny. And I completely understand your curiosity. Don’t apologize for wanting to know more. Kenny Pritchard was my best friend. He was closer than a brother. We shared everything. Whether we want it or not, he’ll always be part of us. Ask away, sweetheart.”
I turned to him, trying to observe his actions nonchalantly. “You said you had a job in prison. Did Kenny have one?”
“Kenny had the hardest job of anyone.” He scratched his chin, his expression thoughtful. My mouth hung open of its own volition as I waited for him to tell me. He paused long enough to pick up two sticks. We watched as Henry and Lady raced to get them. “Kenny’s job was to be a model prisoner.”
I listened, fascinated, as Jake told me that Kenny continued to work for the same man on the inside that he’d worked for on the outside. The man they called Grizz. He explained that Kenny’s job was to gain the trust of the facility guards and staff members. And he did an excellent job of it because one of Kenny’s prison duties was to empty the garbage cans from their offices at the end of the day.
“That was about the time Kenny and I started matching up our ink. It was part of Grizz’s plan to get access to the safe in the warden’s office. We started slowly. I had the ball and chain put on my left bicep and it was the same size and shape as Kenny’s pocket watch.” Jake looked over at me. “He had that pocket watch done to replace the one he’d left under your bedroom floor. He was always thinking about you, Barbie.”
My only response was a sad smile.
“Kenny had the skull with flames put on his neck to match mine and it covered that birthmark he had.” Jake brushed his fingers where Kenny’s birthmark had been. “He eventually filled in the pocket watch so it would look like my ball and chain. As we got older and started filling out in the same places, we looked even more alike and Grizz saw an opportunity there. He tested the waters by having us swap our uniforms and pretend to be each other. When we all realized that we could fool people…” He squeezed my hand. “And let’s face it, in prison, nobody cares. You’re practically invisible anyway so what we were doing didn’t draw any attention. When it was obvious we could get away with it, Grizz used it to his advantage.”
“How?”
“When Kenny was emptying garbage cans in the infirmary, he swiped a stethoscope. And the next night, I did his rounds dressed in his uniform. When I emptied the garbage can in the warden’s office, I…”
“Emptied his safe too,” I finished for him.
“No. Grizz didn’t steal from the warden. Someone would’ve noticed. He liked being one step ahead of him and he knew that the warden kept important papers in the safe. Instead, I would access the safe every few weeks and inform him of what was in there.”
“Wow!” I said. “You and Kenny did share everything. Tattoos, jobs, maybe even women.” I looked down and kicked at the dirt so I didn’t have to see the truth in his eyes about the women.
“Our dreams, our memories, all of it,” Jake finished.
“You knew how to make moonshine before you came here, didn’t you?” I teased.
“Yes, just like Kenny knew everything there was to know about growing flowers and how to crack a safe. He didn’t need me to keep swapping jobs with him. He got into the warden’s safe all by himself until it was upgraded to one of those digital types. Kenny knew about my brother, Philip, and my regret at how I’d treated my parents. If I’d died before I was released, Kenny would’ve gotten my baseball and the story that went with it. We were more than cellmates, Barbie. We were soul brothers.”
I knew everything I needed to know, and because the conversation had turned melancholy, I asked him to tell me something funny. I couldn’t imagine there being anything to laugh about in prison, but if there was, I wanted to know it. The conversation became lighter when Jake described some of their antics. I was glad to know that as difficult as their lives had been, there were some brighter moments to remember.
Jake’s house had come into view. “Kenny was a bit of a prankster. Even in the worst circumstances, he would always find a way to make me smile. And as horrible as his father treated him, I never once remember seeing Kenny shed a tear.”
Jake agreed and followed it up with, “I only saw Kenny cry twice.”
I stopped short and looked up at him. My heart ached knowing something or someone had hurt him. “What made him cry?”
“The day he got Darlene’s letter that said you’d gotten married.”
I sucked in my breath and, after letting it out, asked, “And what was the second thing that made him cry?”
“Meeting the daughter he never knew he had.”
Chapter 48
He Would’ve Been Happy For Us
Finding out that Kenny had a daughter could’ve toppled me over. I latched on to Jake’s arm to steady myself.
Grabbing me, he asked, “Are you okay, Barbie? I’m sorry if you find it upsetting. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you, but it probably would’ve come out eventually.”
I collected myself. “No apology is necessary, Jake. I’m shocked, not upset.” I couldn’t help but ask with a lump in my throat, “Who was her mother?”
“It’s another long story if you’re up for hearing it.”
I told him I was, and after feeding the dogs, we returned to the front porch stoop where our conversation originally began. It had been less than thirty minutes since Jake had returned home and we’d set out on our walk to my house and back, but it felt like hours.
Jake described a despicable tale of a gang rape in South Florida. I shivered when I heard the details of how two seasoned motorcycle gang members had tricked Kenny into believing his initiation was to rape a woman.
“It wasn’t true, and Kenny refused to participate,” Jake explained. “There was no initiation. Just two rogue members who were messing with him.”
I cringed. “The guy from prison, was it his motorcycle gang?
“Yes, but it wasn’t legit. I told you that guy was bad, and he was. No doubt there. But he never enforced a club initiation that involved rape. Never.” Jake leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. Staring straight ahead, he described how the two older men had taken Kenny out on a motorcycle run for beer. They stopped at a convenience store and dragged an unsuspecting customer behind it, where they both forced themselves on her. They told Kenny if he didn’t do it, they would kill him and the woman.
I sat straight up. “Is that true? Would they have killed Kenny if he didn’t rape her?” My heart was pumping wildly and I took deep breaths to calm myself.
Jake looked over at me. “Yes, Barbie. They took turns holding a gun on Kenny, forcing him to watch, while they raped that poor girl. Then they pushed him down on top of her and insisted he do the same.” Jake’s voice was flat, lifeless. “They had the gun pointed at his head the entire time. Kenny told me he would’ve rather died than touch her, but they’d threatened to kill her in front of him. So yeah, they would definitely have killed them both.”
Jake paused to take a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
“Kenny did what he was told. He told me while he was on top of the girl he whispered in her ear how sorry he was.” Raking his hand through his hair, he continued, “When it was over they took the girl’s purse with her identification. They told her if she went to the police they knew where to find her. Other than leaving you and Jonathan, it was the biggest regret of his life.”
“That is a horrid story. That poor girl.” I placed my hand on Jake’s back and rubbed it. “Wait a second. If it was a gang rape, how did she know Kenny was the father of her baby?”
“That’s where it gets a little bizarre,” he told me. “The victim saw the gang patch on the back of their jackets as they rode away. Of course, Kenny wasn’t a member yet so he didn’t have one. She discretely asked around and found out who they were and where they met up. It was an old motel way out in the middle of nowhere. She started parking at a grocery store she knew they would have to drive past and she started following anybody she saw on a motorcycle. She was particularly interested in finding Kenny because she didn’t think he was like the other two. She knew he did what he did against his will and she was going to ask him to get her identification back. It freaked her out knowing that those men had her address, and she saw some compassion in Kenny despite what he’d done to her.”
“I can understand why she saw compassion in Kenny,” I admitted, my voice gravelly. “And I know with all my heart that Kenny would never deliberately do that to a woman.”
“I agree with you, Barbie,” came Jake’s soft response. “But he did and he carried his guilt to the grave.”
I shook my head. “I wish he was here so I could tell him that studies of male physiology suggest that erections are only partially under voluntary control. They’re known to happen during times of extreme duress and definitely in the absence of sexual pleasure.” I clasped my hands together tightly in front of me and closed my eyes, trying to imagine the guilt Kenny had to live with. “Elevated blood flow and adrenaline can result in an erection for pretty much any man in a stressful situation. Sounds to me like having your life threatened by two individuals who are capable of following through on their threats would be considered more than stressful.”
I opened my eyes when Jake cleared his throat and said, “Sounds like a pretty clinical description of what can happen in that type of situation.”
I gave a less than enthusiastic nod. “It’s not my area of expertise.” I shrugged. “I’m just repeating what little I do know about the subject. I only wish he’d known it before he died.” I started to chew on the inside of my cheek when a thought occurred to me. “Jake, how old is Kenny’s daughter?” I looked over at him and waited for an answer. After he replied, I used my fingers to tick off the years. “Oh, Jake. Kenny was only a teenager when this happened.” I shook my head. “He was a teenager!” I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air.
“Yeah, he was young, Barbie. And I believed him when he said there was nothing remotely pleasurable about it. He mentioned that after he left, he had to stop twice so he could puke.” His voice was thick with emotion. “Getting back to the story. She wanted to find Kenny, but she hadn’t seen his face. They’d dragged her behind the store, it was night and there was very little light. Plus, they insisted she keep her eyes closed. She peeked a few times and she saw the birthmark on Kenny’s neck. This was long before he went to prison and we matched up our tattoos. It’s the birthmark you were looking for the first morning we had coffee at the diner.”
I looked away, embarrassed. “You’re right. Even though I knew you couldn’t be Kenny, there was something in me that had to be sure.” I patted his leg. “Don’t worry. I knew it was a ridiculous assumption.”
“Anyway, she spotted him one day and followed him. To her surprise, he ended up at a Catholic church. She was so stunned that instead of trying to talk to him she waited until he left and went inside to see if he’d spoken to anyone there. That’s where she met Sister Agnes, Kenny’s aunt. She befriended the nun and never told her what her nephew had done. I’m not sure why, but she stopped following Kenny and started spending time with his aunt. She found out she was pregnant about the same time Sister Agnes transferred to another church.” Jake stopped and scrubbed a hand down his face. “On a side note.” He looked over at me. “Kenny told me he never finished what he’d started during the rape.”
“You mean he never ejaculated inside her?”
“Yeah, he told me he went soft, which is understandable.”
“He didn’t have to ejaculate. He wouldn’t have known that pre-ejaculate was leaking out. It’s why people should never rely on pulling out as a means of birth control.” I side-eyed him and said, “Yeah, that’s the physician in me again. Sorry for interrupting.”
He smiled. “No problem. Anyway, when the baby was born, and without even knowing back then she was carrying Kenny’s child, she named the baby after Sister Agnes.”
“So, Kenny has a daughter named Agnes.”
“No. She named the little girl Bevin. That was Kenny’s aunt’s name before she became a nun.”
“Bevin,” I whispered. “Please tell me about Bevin, Jake.”
He smiled then. “Bevin’s mother, whose name was Celeste, never told her the rape story or who her father was, but somehow, and I don’t know how and neither did Kenny, Bevin found out. Celeste had been a law student when she was attacked. She later became a judge and was notorious for throwing the book at convicted rapists. Judge Celeste Marconi earned herself a reputation and became known as Maximum Marconi.”
“Good for her!” I shouted before I jumped up from my perch and started pacing. “How did Celeste know Kenny was Bevin’s father?”
Jake shook his head. “I guess as time passed, and with her contacts in law enforcement, she had her daughter’s DNA run through the system and got a hit. Years later, when Bevin eventually discovered her father’s identity, she confronted her mother and demanded the truth. It caused a falling out between mother and daughter at which time Bevin took it upon herself to meet Kenny in prison. That only made it worse. When her mother found out about the visits, she gave Bevin an ultimatum. She had to choose between the woman who’d raised her or the man who’d fathered her.”
I sat back down at which time Lady walked over to me and tried to sit on my lap. Even though she was getting big, I managed to settle her comfortably and asked, “How did Bevin’s visits with Kenny go?”
“At first, not good,” Jake said. “Kenny told me that after he got over the shock of meeting a daughter he never knew existed, and realizing she wanted to get to know him, he tried to scare her away by describing the crowd he used
to run with in gruesome detail. He told her that it wasn’t safe for someone like her to visit a prison as corrupt as the one where he was incarcerated. He’d hoped it would frighten her into not visiting him because he thought she deserved better than a criminal father who was never getting out of jail.”
I could feel the energy slowly draining out of me. How awful it must’ve been for all of them. For Bevin to learn she was conceived during a brutal rape. For Celeste to be the victim of such a heinous crime. And even for Kenny to come face-to-face with a daughter he never knew about, and to know that she knew the story behind her conception. It was all too awful.
“He died without ever getting to know his daughter.” I felt limp.
“Not true.” His voice perked up a tad. “Bevin was a persistent young lady and didn’t frighten easily. She forced her way back into Kenny’s life whether he liked it or not. She wasn’t terribly invasive, but she had wanted to know a little bit about the man who’d fathered her so she kept showing up at the prison. He relented. He didn’t tell her about you or Jonathan or Pumpkin Rest. The story he shared with her pretty much started after he ran away from home. She was relieved to find out that Kenny wasn’t a hardened criminal nor a rapist. At least not a deliberate one. She seemed satisfied with that. When Kenny died, they’d not seen each other for a while, but had been on good terms. I’m not sure if Bevin knew that her mother, the judge, had visited Kenny in prison too.”
“Tell me that part,” I insisted.
Jake plucked a blade of grass that was growing up between the deck boards. “The judge and Bevin hadn’t been on speaking terms because, when Bevin found her father and confronted her mother, Celeste described the attack in a way that didn’t cast blame on Kenny. Bevin accused her mother of having feelings for Kenny, which was ridiculous. They had a falling out over it, and like I already said, it only got worse when Celeste found out Bevin had been visiting Kenny. The judge later told Kenny when she went to see him in prison that during the assault she’d peeked a few times and could see that Kenny had a gun held to the back of his head. She’d also heard Kenny pleading not for his life, but for hers. He begged the guys to kill him and just let her go.”
