She gave me that look, that softness, like a rose petal opening for the first time when the sunshine hit perfectly. “That’s sweet.”
“So, you want to be a heart surgeon?”
“God, no,” she said with a chuckle. “It’s the most stressful job in the world.”
“But the most fulfilling.” The timer went off again, so I pulled the food from the oven, and we threw our dinner together, eating at my dining table across from each other. My back was to the window, so she had a view of the city—but I had a view of her.
We were quiet most of the meal, sharing a bottle of wine in the center of the table, the two of us in silent companionship that reminded me of what I had with my family. There was no need to talk all the time. When you truly had a connection with someone, you didn’t need to talk at all.
“How’s your father doing?”
“Good, I think,” I said. “Just been busy beating up people on the street.”
She chuckled before she took a bite, needing a second before she got the noodles into her mouth.
I loved it when I made her laugh. I loved it when I made her happy. It gave me a real sense of accomplishment, just like when I treated my patients. “I could tell my mom was trying to be mature about the whole thing. You know, violence solves nothing, just walk away. But I could also tell she was happy that my dad broke Mason’s face.”
“Oh, I’m sure she was. She’s so protective of you guys.”
“Psh, she’s protective of everyone. She’s like everyone’s mom.”
“True. But when it comes to you three, she’s a mama bear. Remember when Tony got in your face?”
I grinned. “Yeah, my mom wiped the floor with him too—just with her words.”
“Your parents are so cute. You’re lucky to have them.”
I knew that every single day. “Your parents are cool too.”
She shrugged and took a drink. “They’re good people, but they aren’t unique like your parents. All my mom cares about is me finding a husband and getting a ring on my finger. Your mom cares about Daisy being an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to take care of her.”
“My parents still want her to settle down and all that. My mom has pulled that shit on me, and I know my dad has done it to Derek.”
“But they want you to do it for happiness. My mom wants me to do it because I’m incapable of taking care of myself, apparently.”
“I highly doubt they think that. I mean, you take care of me. Without you, I’d starve.”
She chuckled.
“And be super unhappy…” The last month had shown me that truth, that without her, my heart was empty and my soul was crushed.
She dropped her gaze and pushed her food around.
I was done with my plate, so I slid it away and grabbed my wine.
“I know you have surgery tomorrow, so I should get going.” She finished the last few bites until her plate was clean.
I hated these nights of the week, because it meant she couldn’t sleep over. It was absolutely vital that I slept well, all through the night, without any interruptions. Doing anything without enough sleep was like driving slightly drunk. I couldn’t be slightly drunk when I was cutting someone open. There were a couple times in my career when, for whatever reason, I’d had a rough night of sleep, and even though I was confident I could still do my job, I never took the risk and those appointments had to be rescheduled. Sometimes the patients got mad at me, but I had to do the right thing. “Alright.” I gathered the plates and left them in the sink before I threw some clothes on.
“You really don’t have to walk me home every time.” She was ready to go at the front door, in the clothes she’d worn to work.
“I know I don’t. You’re perfectly capable of getting there on your own. But it gives me peace of mind…and just a little more time I get to spend with you.”
I walked her to her front door and didn’t try to come inside, even though it was tempting. I could strip off all my clothes and get under her sheets and refuse to move. I’d been sleeping with her so much that I wondered if sleeping without her was going to start throwing me off.
She got the door unlocked and set her bag on the table. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She came back to me, that twinkle in her eyes, like she still couldn’t believe that I was there with her, that we were together, that her greatest wish had come true. But there was also a subtle resistance there, like she couldn’t really allow herself to appreciate it, because it could disappear any moment.
That hurt…even though I deserved it.
“Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.” My arms wrapped around her little waist, and I pulled her into me for a deep embrace, holding her for a while before I had to let her go. My lips planted a kiss in her hairline before my arms slid away.
“Dex?” She tilted her chin up and looked at me.
I met her gaze.
“I got tested yesterday. Should have the results soon.”
I kept a straight face and appeared indifferent, even though my entire body turned hot, all the muscles in my body tightened, and there was a distinct flush that seared my entire neck. I didn’t have any idea what to say to that, so I just gave a nod.
“It’s not that I haven’t wanted to. I just…needed some time—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’ve been really happy just being together, waking up with you next to me. So, whenever it happens, you know I’m game. And if it doesn’t happen for a while, that’s cool too.”
She grabbed me by the front of the shirt and pulled me in for a gentle kiss. “I love you.” It was the first time she’d said that to me on her own, just spontaneously, without tears in her eyes like she’d when first told me how she felt.
My arm circled her waist again, and I tugged her back into me, unsure how I could walk away now, when she looked at me like that, when she said those words to me in a whisper. “I love you too.”
Sixteen
Sicily
My life was like a dream.
And like a dream, I was going to wake up at some point.
But it continued on and on, each day better than the last, Dex treating me like I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, that his big heart was full of a single person. I didn’t have to share space with Catherine.
I knew that the moment I saw the broken picture in his garbage.
I never told him about it because I wasn’t meant to see it in the first place.
But there was still a low wall around my heart, a slight resistance, a slight fear…like this could all end tomorrow.
I sat in the armchair in the corner and took his notes on the laptop, watching him interact with his new patient, a three-year-old boy who had a hole in his heart. The dysfunction was actually more common than I realized, and most of the patients who came in were kids like him.
Dex sat on the couch beside him, his stethoscope in his ears, the metal tip pressed against the boy’s t-shirt. He gave the boy a smile as he listened to his heart pump the blood, when it was flooding between two different sections of the atrium. He leaned back and returned the stethoscope to around his neck. “It’s just a little hole. About this big.” He made a circle with his fingers. “All I have to do is close it up, and you’ll be good as new.” Dex grabbed his shoulder and gave him an affectionate squeeze.
He seemed to be too young to really understand, but he mimicked Dex’s movements and made a circle himself. “Like that?”
“Yep.” He took the boy’s hand in his and put his fingers into a fist. “And then it’s gonna look like this. No hole.”
The boy looked at his closed fists.
“You like to ride bikes?”
He nodded.
“You’re gonna be riding your bike longer and farther than you did before. You’re gonna feel so much better. I do this all the time, taking care of brave little boys and girls, and every single one of them is very happy.”
He nodded again, staring
at Dex’s face like he was a little shy.
Dex gave him a gentle pat on the back and looked at his mother. “You’ve got a handsome boy here.”
The parents loved Dex even more than the kids did. “I know. And he’s so sweet too.” She ran her fingers through his hair.
“I’ll get it on the schedule,” Dex said. “Then you’ve gotta take him to Disney World to celebrate.”
His eyes widened, and he looked at his mom. “Can we? Can we?”
“Whoops,” Dex said with a chuckle. “Sorry…”
She smiled and kissed the little boy’s forehead. “Absolutely. It’s a great idea.” They said their goodbyes before they departed.
Dex waved before moving back to his spot on the other couch. He grabbed his tablet and quickly pulled up something he needed. It was getting warmer with every passing week, the humidity starting to arrive, so Dex stuck with jeans and a tee every day.
I moved to the couch across from him. “That boy was so cute.”
“I know, right?” He grinned as he looked at his tablet.
“You’re gonna be a great father.” The words were out of my mouth without further thought, just jumping into the universe and having a distinct echo. “I don’t mean, like, we’re gonna have kids or anything—”
“Thanks.” He lifted his chin and looked at me, still wearing his smile. “I’ve always wanted to be a father. Someday. We’ll get there.” He dropped his chin and read his tablet again, like I hadn’t just said something that could have ruined the entire day.
“I didn’t know that.”
“What?”
“That you’ve always wanted to be a father.”
He looked up and stared at me. “Not so much when I was younger, but then Derek had this really special relationship with Lizzie, and I started to think about my relationship with my own father, and yada-yada…and I just knew. It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen.” He went back to reading his screen but then abruptly looked up. “Wait, you wanna have kids, right?”
I chuckled. “Uh, yeah.”
“Phew, alright.” He went back to reading.
I had stuff to do, but I chose to stare at him for a while, picturing the two of us together, with a couple kids running around, living happily ever after, having the reality Catherine could have had…but she threw it away.
One bitch’s garbage was another woman’s treasure, right?
I was sitting at the desk in the lobby at the end of the day when the elevator doors opened and Daisy walked in. She wore a green dress with sandals, looking like she was ready for a spring day but also the office. Her thick hair was in a high ponytail, showing off her face and slender neck.
Why the hell would Mason let her go? He was a good-looking guy, but…
She strutted up to my desk. “Hey, girl.”
“Hey. How’s it going?”
She shrugged. “Same ol’, same ol’.” She was still the bright and bubbly woman she used to be, but there was a distinct shadow to her now, like her broken heart had slowed her down a bit. She put on a brave front for everyone, but she was human, so she was grieving like anybody would. “I hear you and Dex finally got your shit together.” She rested her arms on the surface of the desk, leaning forward slightly.
“Yeah…you could say that.”
“Good. I’m glad that you’re willing to put up with him. I know he came in a really shitty package. You know, like a new pair of scissors trapped inside the packaging that can only be opened with a pair of scissors—but worth it in the end.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, he’s great.”
“Only downside…” She held up one finger. “Is now that Dex has pretty much settled down, my parents are gonna point their headlights at me.” She pointed into her chest. “And that sucks pretty hard.”
“Your parents don’t seem that intrusive.”
She threw her head back and released a loud, booming laugh. “Oh girl, you don’t even know.” She came back to me and gave me a wink. “You’ll see.”
“What the hell is that obnoxious noise?” Dex came out of his office. “Is there a bat in here?”
Daisy flipped him the bird. “Oh, shut it.”
He grinned then came to her, giving her an unexpected hug. “You look nice.”
She gently pushed him off her. “Stop being nice to me because you feel bad for me. I prefer it when you’re a dick.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked incredulously. “I’m never a dick to you.”
“Then just don’t be so nice and affectionate,” she snapped. “You guys wanna go out for a drink or something?” She turned back to me.
I was put on the spot. “Oh, you guys can do something. I have a lot of work to do anyway.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. “I’m inviting you. The only reason Dex has an invitation is because he’s dating you.”
“Oh, I’m a dick?” Dex asked, trying to suppress his smile.
She flipped him the bird again without looking at him. “Come on, let’s go. I skipped lunch today, so if I don’t get some fries in my stomach pronto, I’m gonna scream.”
We went to the same bar we usually frequented, and as I suspected, Daisy was hit with free drinks like crazy.
She literally had five drinks sitting there, two glasses of wine, one scotch, and two fruity drinks. “Hmm, what should I drink next? I’m not a sweet person, so you want it, girl?” Daisy placed the cranberry vodka in front of me.
I took it. “Sure.”
Dex continued to devour the fries as he sat across from his sister. “How was work?”
Daisy smacked his hand away so she could get into the basket since Dex had been hogging it. “I have two new patients. You would think I’d be a master at this by now, but I feel like every time I get someone new, it’s something I’ve never even heard of. I’m going to be working a lot for the next few weeks, so you may not see me much.”
Dex gave a nod of approval. “Niiiice.”
Daisy gave him a glare.
“Hey,” he said. “You wanted me to be a dick, so there you go.” He turned to me. “Baby, I’m gonna go to the bar. You’re okay with that, or you want something else?”
“This is pretty good.” I took another sip. “Never had one before.”
“Why are you going to pay for a drink when I have this sampler set right here.” Daisy looked at the drinks her admirers had bought.
“I’m good.” Dex squeezed my thigh before he got up and headed to the bar.
Daisy kept eating her fries. “My brother is really happy. It’s nice.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
She nodded. “I haven’t seen him this happy in, like, years.” She gave me a thumbs-up. “Keep it up, girl.”
His family already felt like my family, and I didn’t have to put in any effort to be accepted by them. I was just some assistant with no college education and no awards, but I never felt like I was inferior to them. “How are you doing?”
“Great.” She dunked her fry into the ketchup before putting it in her mouth. “I won my tournament last weekend. I’d take a trip, but I’m too caught up at work right now…and have no one to go with. If I’m gonna go all the way to Bora Bora, I want to have some good sex while I’m there.”
“I mean, how are you really doing?” She was a tough cookie in front of her family, but I knew there was more to her than that.
She gave a slight shrug. “I mean, it’s hard…not gonna lie.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling.”
“I’ve gone out, done some flirting, but I’m still so hung up on Mason that I haven’t bagged a new guy. I thought I would just jump into bed with someone new, but when you love someone, that’s a lot harder than it seems.”
My eyes glanced at Dex across the bar, seeing him talk to the bartender and get his drink.
“And I wonder, has he already jumped into bed with the next lucky girl…?” She shook her head. “I’m sure he has, and that stings.”
“I’m sorry, Daisy
.”
“Yeah.” She continued to focus on her fries. “There must be something wrong with me, because I only like the guys who aren’t right for me. You know, playboys, bad boys, not good men like my dad and brothers. I wish I’d like a good guy, but I just don’t. And then I fall head over heels for a guy who says he wants to be with me, but when push comes to shove, he’s a deserter.”
“He wasn’t good enough for you anyway.”
She released a sarcastic laugh. “I know, right? That makes it worse. I feel like I have a lot to offer, like I’m one in a million, and you still do that shit?” She shook her head as she chewed her fry. “Whatever. I’ll get over him…at some point.”
“Have you ever considered online dating?”
“Not my thing.”
“Some of those sites match up people really well, so maybe that would be a good way for you to find someone who’s more compatible with you.”
“I’m just not interested in that. I’m not trying to force a relationship or settle down. If I fall in love, great. But I’m not gonna put effort into that when marriage and children aren’t important to me.”
“They aren’t?” I asked, slightly surprised.
“I just mean, they’ll be important when I find the right guy. But without the guy, they’re just goalposts, you know what I mean? I see so many women get trapped into this fear of not getting married and having kids, so they feel prompted to go find someone, and that’s not how it should be. This societal pressure on women just needs to stop. No one pressures men, right?” She shrugged and continued to eat. “If I have all those things, I want it to be right. I want it to be like what my parents have. And if it’s not…then I don’t want it. I don’t want some cheap, generic, knock-off version of the real thing.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” I looked at Dex again, who’d gotten his beer and was headed back over here, attracting head-turns in his wake. That was exactly how I felt about Dex, that Vince was just a knock-off version of what I had with him.
The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless Book 11) Page 12
