Cleo shifted her gaze to me. “And you, honey?”
I felt a lot of things in that moment, but none of them were good. This wasn’t my moment to share. I wasn’t sure how Dex and I could ever be a team when he already had a partner to do this with. I…felt out of place. “I’m really excited.” I put on my best smile and lied my ass off because the last thing I wanted was to ruin this moment by making it about myself.
Because it wasn’t about me at all.
Twenty
Dex
I was nervous.
Like, wanna throw up kind of nervous.
Catherine opened the door to her apartment, dressed in tight jeans and a top, and gave me a smile. “Ready?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I had a bag over my shoulder with some toys I’d brought for him, some clothes, even though he wouldn’t care about that, and my phone so I could take a ton of pictures.
“Alright.” She stepped aside so I could walk inside.
He was in the middle of the living room, sitting on a blanket on top of the rug, playing with a couple toys. He didn’t look at me when I walked in, too busy with his plastic key ring and his plastic fire truck.
In awe, I stood there and stared.
He had my light-brown hair, my mom’s blue eyes, and his facial features were already even starting to look similar to mine. I was mesmerized by the scene, looking at him like he was the single most important thing in my life.
It reminded me of the way my parents looked at me.
Full circle.
Catherine stood there and waited for me to make a move.
I was paralyzed on the spot, unable to believe I was looking at my son.
Catherine kneeled on the floor beside him. “Baby, someone is here to see you.” She ran her fingers through his thin hair as she looked down at him. “Look.” She gave him a couple pokes.
Like an idiot, I held up my hand and gave an awkward wave.
He stared at me the way I stared at him, even though he probably had no idea who I was.
“That’s your daddy,” Catherine said. “Can you say Daddy?”
Ryan looked at her again, watching her lips move as she said my title over and over. Then he got it, saying it on his own. “Daddy…”
Oh my fucking god.
Catherine smiled then turned to me. “Told you he was smart.”
I dropped the bag on the rug and took a seat beside him, looking at him with a new perspective, an even deeper love than I had before.
He looked at me too, very interested in me.
“I’m your daddy…that’s me.” My hand slowly extended until it reached his shoulder. It sat there, my fingers gently touching the cotton of his clothing, my breathing a little deeper because this was a moment I would never, ever forget.
He went back to playing with his toys.
Catherine looked at me, her eyes watering at the sight of us together.
My eyes watered too.
Life was totally different now.
Any free time I had during the day was spent thinking about Ryan. Should I take him to the zoo? What about the planetarium? Maybe he’d like to meet his cousins for a playdate? Did he understand who I was? Did he understand that we looked similar?
Sicily walked into my office. “I’ve got Dr. Guerra on the line for you. He wants to discuss an emergency patient he’s sending over.”
I’d been staring at the wall, daydreaming about Ryan, and I had to force myself out of it. “Sure. Patch him through.”
She hit the button on the phone and handed me the receiver.
I took the call, discussed the patient he was referring to me, and then hung up. Sicily was gone and my food had been left on the desk, so I walked into the lobby and found her sitting at the front desk. “Hey, you want to come over for dinner tonight? I know we should cook, but I’m totally on a pizza kick right now.”
She looked up and gave a nod. “Sure.”
Things weren’t the same between us. I could feel it. It sucked. I knew my parents assuming she was pregnant really freaked her out. I was really absorbed in my son right now, so I tried to make an effort to spend time with her and not mention him at all, so we could have our own solid foundation that was unaffected by the chaos in my life. “Great.”
The elevator doors opened and revealed Daisy.
Oh no.
She gave me a dumbfounded look. “You have a kid?”
I stayed at the counter. “Heard the news, huh?”
She marched over. “You have a kid, and you didn’t tell me?”
“Look, everything happened really fast—”
“You told Mom and Dad.”
“And I knew they would tell you and Derek.”
She rolled her eyes. “So, we all get to meet him this weekend?”
“Yes.”
“Mom sent me some pictures.” She held up her phone. “Dude, this kid is freakin’ adorable.”
I grinned with pride. “He is, isn’t he?”
“I can’t wait to play with him.” She slid her phone back into her pocket. “How are you holding up with this?” She leaned against the counter and looked at Sicily.
Sicily gave a smile. “It’s a lot, but we’re managing.”
“What kind of psycho has a kid and doesn’t tell the dad?” Daisy asked as she shook her head. “Good thing Ryan has you. You know, a normal woman in his life.” She patted me on the arm and turned away. “Well, I was just stopping by. I’m on my way to lunch. Got a date.”
“Yeah?” I asked, happy to hear that she was doing better. “Who’s the guy?”
“Uh, none of your business.” She shot me a glare over her shoulder as she walked away. “Already learned my lesson.”
When it was just the two of us in my apartment, Ryan’s stuff in his bedroom, it started to feel the way it used to. Sicily loosened up noticeably, and by the time we finished our pizza and got settled in bed, she was herself once more.
She lay on me as we watched TV, our legs tangled together, her arm over my waist, her head on my shoulder.
I turned my head and kissed her temple as the TV blanketed my room with bluish light. I’d only interacted with Ryan once, and he’d made me so happy. I wished he were there with me all the time, that he didn’t have to go back and forth between us, but Sicily always made me really happy. Just being with her brought me euphoria.
I knew this whole thing was hard for her, but she continued to stick by my side.
A lot of other people would abandon ship, not wanting to take responsibility for a kid that wasn’t theirs.
But her love for me was that profound.
When the movie ended, I turned to her. “So, what do you want to watch next? Or better yet…how about we don’t watch anything?” My hand pulled up her baggy t-shirt a bit, revealing her hip and the lacy thong that went across it.
Her hand moved over her stomach. “I’m kinda bloated right now…with all the pizza.”
“Baby, bloated or not bloated, it’s all the same to me.” I rolled on top of her and lifted her shirt up, pressing kisses to her slender belly that looked the same as it always did. My tongue swiped over her delicious skin, and I gripped her panties and slowly pulled them down, getting them down those long legs, revealing the place I wanted to kiss her most. My lips sealed over her entirely, and my tongue did all the things she liked.
It didn’t take her long to convulse, to rock her hips against me, to fist my hair and cup the back of my neck and pull me into her like she couldn’t get enough of it. She quickly turned into a sexed-up heathen, panting and moaning, writhing.
But I didn’t give her what she wanted.
I pulled away and moved on top of her.
She gave me a fierce stare, pissed that I didn’t give her what she wanted, that I made her wait on purpose.
There was nothing that made me harder than turning her on, getting her soaked just by touching her, so when I shoved myself inside her, I made her wince because I was that big, that thick.
<
br /> I intended to take it slow and easy tonight, but when my hips were between her thighs and my arms were scooped behind her knees, I couldn’t control myself. I fucked her so hard that my headboard clapped against the wall like a hammer against nails.
Tears dripped from the corners of her eyes when she hit her threshold, crumbling apart and slicing my skin with her sharp nails. Her lips trembled against mine until she rolled her head back entirely and writhed underneath me, whispering my name. “Dex…yes.”
That made me feel like a king.
I kept up the same endurance, making her body rock viciously, making my headboard strike the wall harder with no concern for my neighbors. Then I drove her into another climax, watching her have the same reaction as last time, like I hadn’t already made her toes curl once.
I made up for the shitty week.
I made her remember that she was my everything.
I made her remember that we would always be us—no matter what.
The paternity test had come back with the expected results, and I was counting down until I got to leave Kline Clinic. I got to go pick up my son and keep him for the entire weekend. I was bringing him to my parents’ place so the whole family could meet him, to spoil him with clothes and toys, to say how cute he was.
Take that, Derek. You aren’t the only guy with a cute kid anymore.
I wasn’t sure what I would do with him for the rest of the weekend, but I’d find stuff for us to do.
Sicily walked into the lab, looking fine…as always. “Hey, I wanted to know what you think about—”
“Whoa, whoa.” I waved her off, telling her to be quiet. “First things first, drop that ass into my lap and give me a kiss.”
She gave me a playful glare. “You’re working.”
“Oh baby, we talked about this. I don’t care—at all.” I grabbed her by the wrist and guided her into my lap, so her nice ass was right on top of my dick. “Oh yeah, that’s the spot.” My dick hardened against her, and I knew she could feel it.
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t roll that smile off her face.
I pulled her top down a bit so I could kiss her shoulder and collarbone, making my way up her neck and jawline until I reached her lips. My hand cupped her face, and I kissed her with purpose, giving her some tongue, kissing her like we were alone in my apartment rather than sitting in my ice-cold lab.
I eventually pulled away and looked at her. “Okay, now you can tell me whatever you wanna tell me.”
Her eyes had a dreamy quality to them, like I’d just taken her somewhere far away from this place, on a beach somewhere exotic, our bodies tangled together in paradise. She cleared her throat. “We need to talk about our departure next week.”
“Departure?” I asked.
“For Doctors Without Borders.”
I stared at her blankly for a few seconds.
“You…forgot?”
Yeah…a bit. “Shit.”
She gave a slight smile. “Well, that’s what I’m here for. You’ve got a lot going on, so…”
All I wanted to do was stay in Manhattan now. That was where Ryan was. I just got to see him for the first time, and now I had to leave for two weeks? Fuck, what a mess. I rubbed the back of my neck as I tried to find a solution to my problem.
“Do you not want to go anymore?”
“I just feel strange leaving Ryan right now. Just found out I have a son, and I’m going to go to another country for two weeks?”
“The timing isn’t great, but you won’t be gone that long.”
Now that I had someone so important in my life, I felt uncomfortable being more than twenty miles away from him. What if he needed me? What if something happened to Catherine, and I wasn’t there? No wonder my parents never went on vacations unless it was to the cabin. “You think we can talk to them and see if someone else would take my place?”
“With a week’s notice?”
“I know it’s shitty, but I…I can’t leave him right now.”
“Dex, you didn’t know you had a son until a week ago—”
“I know, okay? But it doesn’t feel right. I just got him, and now I’m going to leave?”
“You made a commitment to these people, Dex.”
“And I’m not abandoning them. I’m just asking if someone can take my place. That’s all.”
“You really want to do that when you know you’re the best?” She stared me down with disappointment, like she would think less of me if I chose my son over my philanthropic work. “You know how far these people are going to walk to see you? And then you aren’t going to be there.”
I closed my eyes and sighed.
“Dex, Ryan will be here when you get back.”
“You don’t understand…”
She winced.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m responsible for him, and if I leave, he’ll just have Catherine—”
“And your entire family of geniuses. Dex, you’re just being selfish right now. I understand you want to spend all your time with your son, but you can’t pull out this late. I know you know I’m right. You’re just being emotional right now.”
After a long pause, I gave a nod. “Yeah.”
She rubbed my shoulder before she moved off my lap. “It is sweet that you care so much, though.”
“Yeah.” I was already one of those obsessive parents. “At least we can have two weeks to ourselves, getting it on in our tent, going on safari. It should be a good time.”
“We’re gonna sleep in a tent?”
“Yep. You can still back out if you want to.”
“Like…on the ground?”
I nodded. “I bet you understand why I want to stay with my son so bad.”
She stared at me, clearly surprised.
“I can handle it on my own if you want. I totally understand if you want to stay in New York.”
“No…I’ll go. As long as I’m with you, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
Twenty-One
Sicily
We walked up to the building, but I didn’t join him in the elevator.
“You coming?” Dex stepped back out and let the doors shut.
“You go. I’ll just wait here.” I didn’t want to go to Catherine’s apartment and watch them interact. I would always dislike her for what she did to Dex. It was good for him to let bygones be bygones, but I didn’t like that she’d hurt him, and I didn’t like her audacity to try to get him back when he was with someone else now.
“Baby.” He came toward me. “We’re all adults here.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“I just… want to interact with her as little as possible.”
He sighed quietly. “Look, you and I are a done deal. That means the two of you need to get along. I know she hasn’t made a good impression lately, but she’s a good person. I told her I wanted to be with you, and she respected that. It’s over.”
Did she, though?
“Come on.” He nodded toward the elevator.
I joined him this time.
We made it to her front door, and she let Dex inside, wearing a smile like she was happy to see him, but that smile quickly faded when she saw me. She obviously hadn’t expected me at her front door.
She stepped aside and let us walk in.
Ryan was on a blanket in the living room, dressed and ready to go, playing with a doll.
“There’s my mini me.” Dex kneeled and scooped him up, giving him kisses all over his forehead.
Catherine stood there with her arms over her chest, watching them together.
Dex held him with one arm and grabbed the bag Catherine had packed and walked back to me. “I’ll drop him off on Sunday night.”
Catherine nodded, ignoring my existence.
Dex walked up to me. “Let’s go.”
With pleasure. I walked out first.
Dex came behind me. “Say bye to Mama.”
Ryan waved. “Bye…”<
br />
Catherine smiled as she watched them leave, but there was a noticeable twinge of sadness in her eyes.
Dex walked up to me in the hallway. “Baby, I’d like to introduce you to the cutest little guy ever.” Dex was happy and affectionate, like he felt no despair leaving his ex-wife alone when he could have stayed, when he could have chosen for the three of them to be a family. “Ryan, this is Sicily. It’ll probably take some time for you to learn that name, but you’ll get there.”
Ryan looked at me, smiling slightly, looking back and forth between us. He didn’t just have Dex’s looks, but his bubbly happiness, his carefree attitude. He wasn’t shy or timid, just easygoing.
Like everyone else, I fell under his spell with a single look. “Hey, Ryan.” I placed my fingers around his foot in his sock and gave a gentle squeeze. “You really are the cutest.”
Dex managed him with a single arm with the bag over his shoulder, and he put his other arm around my waist as we walked down the hallway. “Alright, let’s go see Grandma and Grandpa. They’re so excited to meet you.”
The entire family was there, and they were all enamored of Ryan.
Ryan sat on the floor with his cousins, all of them playing toys together, Little Deacon and Cam getting used to their new family member. Deacon was on the floor with Ryan, holding him in his lap and playing with him.
He was a hit.
Dex was happier than I’d ever seen him, absorbed in his son and loved by his whole family.
I sat on the couch and watched, seeing a group of people that loved one another unconditionally. They were all such wonderful people, and I knew Ryan would end up the same way. He would be a brilliant, successful, good-hearted man.
“Dad, come on.” Daisy sat beside him. “When is it my turn?”
Deacon smiled and handed him over.
Daisy placed him between her legs and smothered him with his kisses. “I’m gonna be your favorite aunt. Your mom’s sisters suck compared to me.” She gave him a tickle and pulled him for some kisses.
The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless Book 11) Page 17
