He studied her for a long moment, a single eyebrow rising as if he didn’t fully believe her.
“No,” he answered. “Whoever you deem correct, will be fine with me. Of course, there may be a few extra people that show up, but that is to be expected at such an event, I am told.”
“Yes, well, ….” she began as she desperately fought to think of the right thing to say.
He studied her for a moment then leaned down to look directly into her eyes, peering into her soul. She felt herself become lost in his gaze. How could she ask him what he thought of her?
Smiling he leaned forward, resting his hand on hers, and said as if reading her mind, “Lady Weston, Alice, last night was magical. It is etched in my memory to be recalled whenever I wish to think about what is right and beautiful with the world. I thank you for that.”
A heavy sigh escaped her before she could stop it. His words had released a tight knot inside of her. Setting her mind at rest.
He smiled and added. “My only comment is to say, that one night will never be enough for me.”
Her cheeks grew warm as her heart melted. Every part of her wanted him to wrap her in his arms and carry her away as he had the night before. Leaning up, she kissed him quickly on the cheek and whispered, “Thank you, myself as well.”
He smiled a sweet, caring smile. Meant just for her. Her mind raced as she fought to keep her body away from him. The pull she felt was almost overwhelming.
“Sir,” Jocko said from the door, “I am sorry, but if we’re to make it before morning we need to be on the road.”
Nathanial did not look away from her as he said, “Yes, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Alice continued to hold his stare as she heard Jocko close the door behind him.
“You should go,” she whispered, her heart breaking with each word.
He sighed heavily and nodded. “Yes, but it is harder to leave than I am accustomed to.”
She smiled and stepped back. If she did not create space between them she would surely throw herself into his arms.
“Take care, Nathanial. You will be missed.”
He smiled and turned to leave, his broad back filling the doorway. And then he was gone, the heavy oak door closing. Sealing her off from him and his world.
He was gone, she thought. But there would be a next time, she realized. He had as much as told her so. The realization sent a burst of anticipation and longing through her.
“Yes,” she said to herself, “there would most definitely be a next time.”
Chapter Sixteen
Alice’s stomach churned with worry as she walked up the steps to the London house. Six days since their time together. Would he still want her? Had he already moved on to new conquests? So many questions remained, so many things to worry about.
Every day in the country had been filled with doubt and desire. A constant mix of warring emotions that had threatened to tear her apart.
Sighing, she lifted the hem of her dress and hurried to catch up with her mother and Olivia.
“Is Mr. Caldwell at home,” her mother asked Benson as she removed her gloves.
“Yes, My Lady,” the butler responded with a sober frown as he took her gloves and cloak. “He is in his study.”
“Good, the sooner we deal with this issue, the better,” she said as she began to walk towards Nathanial’s study, her cane making a hard, tapping sound on the marble floor.
“Mother,” Alice hissed as a sudden terror filled her. Did her mother know about their liaison? Was she about to confront Nathanial and accuse him of ruining her daughter? The thought sent a cold chill down her spine.
“Perhaps we should wait,” Olivia said, “if not, then you are on your own Lady Weston. I learned long ago not to bother my brother in his study. Especially when he is conducting business. I never get what I want that way. Better to confront him at dinner.
“Don’t be silly girl,” her mother said. “This abomination needs to end immediately.”
Olivia shook her head, “I’m going to my room. Good Luck.”
Suddenly, Alice’s heart stopped beating.
“Caldwell,” her mother said as she opened the study door without even knocking. “We need to talk.”
Both Nathanial and his secretary Mr. Johnson jumped to their feet as her mother breezed into the room as if it were her house. A confused look of surprise crossed both their faces. Alice sighed internally, the man looked just as handsome as ever. Dressed in a black frock coat, a starched cravat, and black pantaloons. He looked every bit the rake he was rumored to be.
Swallowing hard, she followed her mother into Nathanial’s study.
Holding her breath, she wondered how he would react at the pair of them breaching his sanctuary. This was not how she had wished to reintroduce herself. Why couldn’t her mother ever just let matters alone? Surely, he would be upset. A thought that made her stomach clench up into a tight ball.
It would have been so much better if he had seen her at her best. Not after a day-long trip in as rocking coach. Not being attacked by an elderly Lady of the ton. No, this was not how she had anticipated their meeting.
“Lady Weston, Lady Alice, welcome home,” he said. “I hope the trip was uneventful?”
Had there been a quick smile when he had looked at her. Her heart jumped at the thought that he had seemed pleased to see her.
“Yes, yes,” her mother said as she waved her hands indicating that the subject of their trip was of no importance. “We need to discuss this party you wish to give. Such a tight schedule is ridiculous.”
Sighing, he smiled slightly and shot Alice a quick look, then waved his hands at the two chairs across from his desk for them to be seated.
“I will return later, Sir,” Johnson said as he made a move towards the door.
Nathanial held up a hand, “Hold for a moment,” he said. “I may need your help.”
Alice saw the quick frown Mr. Johnson tried to hide. Obviously, the last place he wanted to be at the moment was in the same room as Mr. Caldwell and Lady Weston while they argued about a ball. Alice’s heart went out to the man. She understood perfectly his feelings on the matter.
“Well, then, Lady Weston,” Nathanial said as he sat down, “what seems to be the matter?”
“The problem, Mr. Caldwell,” her mother said with a fierce stare, “is that it is impossible to arrange a ball on such short notice. It cannot be done. You will need to adjust your plans.”
Nathanial leaned back in his chair as he studied her mother for a moment. Not answering her, he slowly brought his fingertips together and smiled.
“I am sorry, but it must be that date, Lady Weston.”
“Pssshah,” her mother hissed as she waved a hand in the air. “It is impossible, not unless you wish your sister to be the laughingstock of the ton.”
He frowned for a moment and Alice could tell he was fighting to not roll his eyes at her mother's conjecture.
“Perhaps if you told me of your difficulties I might be able to help,” he said as a way of compromise. His calmness surprised Alice. The man was a rock. Didn’t anything ever bother him? Didn’t this man ever worry about what people thought?
No, she realized. Not really. He had fought and clawed his way to his wealth and status. None of it had been achieved by worrying about what other people thought.
“Difficulties?” her mother said. “You have absolutely no idea of all the issues that must be addressed. As it were, both Alice and Olivia have spent the last six days making out the invitations alone. We have held off sending them out so that we might convince you to change your mind about this ridiculous demand.”
Alice winced inside. Her mother couldn’t talk to him this way. Reaching out she started to put a restraining hand on her mother’s arm, but the woman shook it off and continued to stare at Nathanial as if he were a shop clark who could not begin to understand what was needed.
Nathanial nodded and said, “Perhaps, but why don’t we see w
hat we can do. What seems to be the biggest issue?”
Her mother sighed heavily and shook her head, obviously upset that the man had not simply done what she demanded.
“Musicians,” she said. “All the best will have already taken.”
Nathanial shrugged his shoulders. “We will pay them more. I am sure we can convince some to adjust their schedule.”
Her mother rolled her eyes and snorted. “See, you don’t understand. If we were to poach musicians we would offend the hostess that had scheduled them. Every one of her friends, family, and acquaintances would shun Olivia. The girl is already fighting an uphill battle. This would confirm their suspicion that she does not belong. It would be a terrible mistake.”
Nathanial sighed, then looked at Mr. Johnson. “Have someone travel to Oxford, hire the best musicians, offer triple their normal fee. Set them up in an Inn outside of town three days before the ball. Just to make sure they are available when needed.”
“Yes, Sir,” Johnson said as he pulled a slip of paper from his pocket and made a quick note.
“Next,” Nathanial asked Lady Weston. One eyebrow rose, silently challenging her to produce a problem that he could not solve.
Her mother’s shoulders slumped in defeat. Alice had to hide a smile, it seemed her mother had finally met her match.
“Dresses,” he mother said. “Both Alice and Olivia will need dresses for the ball.”
Nathanial snorted, “They have several dresses already. I know because I just paid the bill.”
Her mother shook her head at his naivety. “No, they must be new. They cannot have been seen in them already. Two weeks is not enough time.”
Nathanial sighed as he glanced at Mr. Johnson, “Have the modiste to whom we just sent that rather large payment come tomorrow. Tell her we will need three dresses within the week.”
“Three dresses?” her mother asked.
Nathanial smiled gently, “Yes, My Lady, I assumed you would be joining us for the gathering. You are almost like family after all.”
Alice was surprised to see her mother’s cheek flush a slight rose color at Nathanial’s comment. Her heart melted, the man was so sweet when he wanted to be. How could she not love him?
“Staff,” her mother said as she raised her chin, refusing to acknowledge his kindness. “You do not have enough staff here to prepare and serve during such an event.”
Nathanial nodded slowly. “Very well. We will have the staff from the country house brought to town. I am sure Benson can find tasks for them. Will that be enough? If not, I can have staff brought from my estates in Cornwall or Nottingham. It will take several days, but they could be here in time. If that is not enough, we can …”
“No, no,” her mother said holding up a hand. “The staff from the country house in Kent will be adequate.”
Alice bit back a smile. Her mother had been defeated on every front.
“Is there anything else My Lady?” Nathanial asked as he continued to tap his fingers together.
Her mother sighed heavily and seemed to slump in her chair. “Not at the moment,” she said as if each word was difficult to get out.
Nathanial nodded but did not smile at the woman’s defeat. “Good. Of course, if something does come up, please don’t hesitate to bring it to my attention. And as for the invitations. Please ensure Mr. Johnson and Jocko receive theirs.”
“Sir?” Mr. Johnson said with surprise.
“I will need you both close that night,” Nathanial said to him with a knowing look.
Alice frowned, what was going on? Why? Although she had no difficulty in both men attending. She knew that Olivia would be pleased. The fact that Nathanial had made such an issue out of it raised her interest.
Her mother nodded, “Of course, I assume Mr. Jocko will have something appropriate to wear?”
Nathanial laughed, “I will make sure of it.”
“Well then,” her mother said as she rose from her chair. “We will leave you to continue with your papers and accounts.”
Nathanial stood up and bowed. “I am at your service, Lady Weston.”
Her mother studied him for a long moment, then nodded before turning to leave.
Alice’s insides began to relax. They had gotten through the conflict without anyone saying the wrong thing. Even more importantly, without her mother accosting Nathanial about their tryst in the dowager’s house. Perhaps she would be allowed to return to some semblance of normal after all.
“Lady Alice,” Nathanial said, pulling her heart to an instant stop, “would you remain for a moment? I would like to talk to you about Olivia’s birthday next month. Perhaps you might have some ideas that we could discuss.”
She halted and glanced at her mother who thankfully wasn’t really listening. She’s probably trying to understand how she came off so badly in her confrontation with Mr. Caldwell. Alice could see the thoughts tumbling around in her mother’s head. How had this trader’s son defeated her so easily?
“Of course,” Alice said to Nathanial as her heart began to race. The thought of being alone with him sent a warm thrill through her body.
“Lady Weston,” Mr. Johnson said as he followed her mother out of the room. “Perhaps you could give me your thoughts on what you desire in musicians.”
Her mother didn’t pause as she began to list her demands and expectations.
The door closed behind them with a solid click that sent a bolt of pure energy through Alice. Holding her breath, she turned to face Nathanial.
He smiled at her and dipped his head towards the door. “Your mother is rather formable, she would make a rug merchant in a Moroccan bazaar quake with fear.
Alice laughed, he wasn’t mad.
She smiled back at him, looking into his eyes and enjoying the pure pleasure that was Nathanial Caldwell. “I am sure she would say the same about you. It is not often I have seen her defeated like that.”
“Defeated?” he scoffed. “The woman got everything she wanted.”
Alice frowned as she thought about what he had said and realized he was right. Her mother’s concerns had been met. The date of the party had not been the issue. It was always her intention to enlist Nathanial’s aid. Her stomach turned over as she realized how her mother had manipulated the situation.
“Do not concern yourself,” Nathanial said as he stepped out from behind his desk. “I had hoped she would take charge, lifting the burden off Olivia’s shoulders. I am more than glad to be of assistance if it means Olivia’s first time as a hostess goes well.”
Alice nodded as she swallowed hard. Here he was only a few inches away. She could reach out and touch him if she dared. But no, she reminded herself. Not here when anyone might step in. Not here in London.
Her heart broke at the thought of what she would not have. Pulling herself together she lifted her chin and looked him in the eye.
“You wished to discuss Olivia’s birthday?” she asked.
He smiled and slowly shook his head. “To hell with Olivia’s birthday. I wanted a moment alone with you. A moment to feast upon your beauty. A moment to tell you how much our time together meant to me.”
Alice’s knees grew weak as she felt herself sinking into his arms.
Once again, he had known the perfect words to say to relieve all her fears.
“Nathanial,” she sighed as his arms wrapped around her.
He held her for a long moment, making her world feel safe and welcoming. She could stay in that spot for the rest of her life, she realized as her heart pounded in her chest. This spot, resting in his arms, surrounded by the scent of sandalwood and the warmth of his embrace.
“We are in London now,” he whispered as he kissed the top of her head. “The rules are different here.”
“I know,” she said as she fought to not cry. He was telling her they couldn’t risk being caught together. The ton would never understand. It would ruin any chance of Olivia finding a good match. No, nothing could be allowed to endanger that.
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br /> “I understand,” she said as she pulled away. “After all, I did ask for one night only.”
He frowned at her as he slowly nodded, “True, that is what you said.”
She studied him for a moment, silently praying that he would disagree with her, silently hoping that he would toss aside his concerns and take her in his arms and never let go.
But no, not Mr. Nathanial Caldwell. He wasn’t holding back because of what he feared people would think of him. No, he was concerned for Olivia and herself. He was thinking of them. Yes, despite his reputation, Alice had learned the truth. At his core, Mr. Caldwell was a good man.
The thought saddened her, for if the truth be told, she secretly wished he would revert to his rakish reputation and disregard society by taking her, here and now.
But, no, such bliss was not to be, she realized as she turned to rush from the room. She would not let him see her cry. Not now, not ever.
Chapter Seventeen
Nathanial examined himself in the mirror. Everything had to be perfect. This was Olivia’s night. Her chance to impress and astonish. Her chance to demonstrate she belonged in the rarified air of the ton.
Nathanial’s heart softened as he thought about his sister and the woman she was becoming. Smiling to himself he realized it had all been worth it. Giving up the sea. Dedicating himself to making sure she received every convenience. Making sure she felt safe and happy. Yes, it had most definitely been worth it.
A quick knock at his bedroom door drew his attention. Glancing in the mirror, looking back over his shoulder, he paused as he watched Jocko step into the room like an angry dog.
“How do you people put up with this,” the Breton said as he pulled at his collar. “A man can barely move.”
Nathanial suppressed a laugh as he turned to examine the man. He looks like a trussed-up goose, he thought to himself. A buff jacket too tight in the shoulders. Starched white cravat, breaches to just below the knee, black hose, and buckled shoes.
“As you well know, it is form, not function, they prefer,” Nathanial answered.
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