A New Beginning

by Samantha Hicks

  “Laura? What are you doing here?” Her tone was accusatory, she couldn’t help it. Laura wasn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow night, when Amy would be safely out of the house and away from the conflicting emotions seeing Laura brought up.

  Laura’s eyes went wide. “Um, your mother called earlier in the week and said she needed to reschedule.”

  “I just bet she did,” Amy said through gritted teeth.

  Laura repositioned the things she held in her arms, her laptop, a gift-wrapped box, and a bottle of wine. “Is there a problem?”

  “Yes, there is a problem. My mother is about to get hit in the head with a frying pan.” Laura glanced away, her shoulders sagging, visibly uncomfortable with Amy’s brusque demeanor. Amy didn’t care right now about Laura’s feelings getting hurt, she had other things to worry about, like killing her mother for finding a way to try and set her up again.

  Laura caught Amy’s gaze with her own. “Look, if me being here is going to upset you I can go. I can schedule a meeting at the office, so you wouldn’t have to see me.”

  Drawing in a calming breath, Amy replied, “No, it’s fine.” She stepped back from the threshold. “Please come in.”

  “Ah, Laura,” Martha said as she came into foyer, wiping her hands on a tea towel. “I thought that was your voice I heard.”

  “Hello, Mrs. George.” She held out the wine. “This is for you and Jim, a thank you for having me over again.”

  “Ooh, thank you, but you didn’t need to do that.” She took the proffered gift, reading the label on the back. “This is a business dinner, right?” she continued, a sly smile gracing her lips.

  Amy’s pulse hammered, and she balled her hands into fists to prevent herself from making a scene. She’d be having words with her mother as soon as she could get her alone.

  “If you say so,” Laura replied, matching Martha’s smile with one of her own. “I also brought something for Aaron.” As if by saying his name made him appear, Aaron came thundering down the stairs, Jim not far behind him.

  “Hey, Laura.”

  “Hiya, buddy.” She nodded at Jim. “Jim.”

  “Is that for me?” Aaron asked, his face lit up with excitement.

  Laura glanced at Amy, as if checking it was okay to give it to him. Even if Amy was mad Laura was here, handing out gifts like Santa Clause, it wouldn’t be fair to Aaron to tell him no. She reluctantly nodded to Laura that it was okay.

  Laura smiled her thanks and said to Aaron, “Sure is buddy. Here you go.”

  They all watched as Aaron tore through the paper, his huge grin over taking his features as he recognised the Lego set. “It’s a Star Wars X-Wing Fighter, like from my game,” he said, his eyes sparkling with delight.

  Amy conceded that it was a nice gesture, but it still pissed her off she had been railroaded into attending a dinner with Laura. Not only that, she had on her most tatty clothes and she felt embarrassed. Compared to Laura Amy looked like a bum. Amy allowed her gaze to quickly scan over her. She had on loose fitted cotton trousers, the same shade as Amy’s hair, and a tight-fitting cream silk shirt which accentuated her breasts. Amy tried not to let her gaze linger too long on her chest, but it was hard, her mouth went dry.

  “I hope you like it,” Laura said to Aaron and it took Amy a second to realise she wasn’t referring to her chest but Aaron’s Lego set.

  “I love it. Can you help me put it together?”

  “After dinner, Aaron,” Martha said. “Laura and Grampy have some business to discuss first. Amy?” Amy glared at her mother, hoping her death stare would cause the meddling old lady to poop in her pants. Martha just smiled sweetly back and continued, “Can you give me a hand in the kitchen?”

  “Certainly, Mother.” Without looking back at Laura, she followed Martha into the kitchen. “What the hell, Mum?” she seethed, placing her hands on her hips.

  “What?” Martha asked innocently as she gathered wine glasses from a cabinet.

  “You changed the day of the dinner so I’d be here on purpose.”

  “And?”

  Amy pinched the bridge of her nose. “You can’t keep doing this.” When was her mother going to get a clue and lay off her love life?

  “Is it so wrong for me to want to see my daughter happy?” She opened a drawer, looking for the corkscrew then began to open the bottle.

  Amy felt her hackles rise. She looked up at her mother’s face and for a moment she saw an unguarded look of sadness on her features. She’s just looking out for me. I can’t be mad at that, can I? “No, of course not, but you can’t keep trying to force me.”

  “Amy, honey, say what you want, but I can see the way she looks at you. She likes you.”

  “So? I have absolutely no interest in that woman. She is so not my type.” She didn’t know Laura was there until she heard her clear her throat. Amy’s face coloured.

  “Uh, Jim wanted me to ask you if you knew where his notebook is?”

  Amy refused to look at her. She didn’t need to see her to know she had hurt her feelings. The tone of Laura’s voice was evidence enough of that.

  “It’s in the top drawer of his desk.”

  “Thanks.” Laura turned on her heel and strode away.

  “Well, that certainly was uncomfortable,” Martha said unnecessarily.

  “That was your fault. You should have told me she was coming here tonight.” At least so I could have changed my shitty clothes.

  “You would have tried to not be here.”

  “Yes, I would have, then I wouldn’t have put my foot in it.”

  Martha came around the kitchen island and took Amy’s hands in her own. “Listen, Honey. I know how difficult things have been for you since Julia, but would it be so bad to just get to know her?”

  “Yes, yes it would.” She felt like crying.

  “Why?”

  “Because...” Amy lifted her gaze to meet her mother’s. “She makes my heart race, Mum, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” She hadn’t meant to say that, to be so honest, but she couldn’t keep the feelings inside any longer. She had only known Laura a few weeks, only met her a handful of times, but already she felt drawn to her, connected in a way she had never experienced before, not even with Julia, and that scared her, a lot.

  “Oh, Amy.” She gathered Amy into a fierce hug. “It’ll be okay.”

  “No, it won’t,” Amy mumbled into Martha’s neck, the familiar scent of her mother soothing her turmoil. “I’m scared.”

  “I know. But look on the bright side.” She pulled back, locking gazes with her. “If you start dating Laura, I won’t have to keep hitting up the lesbian bars trying to find you a mate.”

  Amy’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. She wasn’t sure if her mother was joking or not, it would be just the type of thing she would do. “You don’t seriously do that do you?” Martha winked at her then gathered up the tray of glasses.

  “Mum!” Amy whined as Martha sashayed out of the kitchen. She wouldn’t put it past her mother to do just that. Amy remained in the kitchen, not wanting to face Laura just yet. She thought about changing her clothes to something more flattering but decided against it. I’m not interested in her. It doesn’t matter what I look like. Yes, she found Laura attractive and intriguing, but she wasn’t going to act on it. She loved Julia. If she kept telling herself that, all would be okay.

  An hour later they were all sitting around the dining table again, much the same as they had last time. Conversation had been sparse, and Amy knew that was her fault. It wasn’t hard to miss the dejected set of Laura’s shoulders. Amy had been rude, but she didn’t know how to apologise for it, or even if she wanted to. It would be best if Laura continued to think she wasn’t interested in her, that way Amy wouldn’t have to face up to the attraction she was feeling for her, eventually the feelings would go away.

  Laura cleared her throat. “So, Amy, how did your job interview go?”

  She’s giving me an olive branch. “Really well, a
ctually.”

  “I don’t want you at my school, Mum,” Aaron complained from his place next to Laura.

  “Sorry, son, but I need to go back to work. If it makes you feel better, I’ll pretend I don’t know you.”

  “Good.” He stabbed at a potato, taking his emotions out on the food.

  “Thanks,” Amy replied dryly. She looked back to Laura, hating the guarded look in her eyes. “Anyway, the head master was pleased with my credentials and said he’d let me know once he’s checked my references.”

  “They’d be stupid not to have you,” Jim said from his end of the table, pride in his voice.

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “I’ve finished,” Aaron informed them all. He tugged on Laura’s sleeve. “Can we do the Lego now?” Amy wasn’t sure she was happy with her son’s admiration for Laura. The last thing she wanted was him getting attached to someone, especially when he wouldn’t be seeing more of her. Laura glanced at her again and Amy nodded. It would seem she had no defenses when it came to looking into Laura’s eyes. One glance and she would agree to anything.

  “Sure, let’s go,” Laura said.

  “Thanks for helping to clear the table, Amy,” Martha said as she shut the dishwasher half hour later.

  “No problem, Mum. As always, the food was delightful. I’m going to go up and check on Aaron.”

  “Okay.”

  Amy stood in the doorway of Aarons room, watching Laura and Aaron as they put the finishing pieces of the Lego together. Her heart seized at the homely visage in front of her. Many a night she wished Julia could be here with her son, playing games and helping with his homework. She pushed the pain away. After six years it should have been easier for her to adjust to life without Julia, but it wasn’t. It still filled her with anger and resentment and an empty heart she knew would never heal. She pushed the melancholy away, refusing to let it grip her like it usually did. She stepped into the room.

  “Hey, Mum, look!” Aaron lifted the completed model into the air.

  “That’s amazing, sweetie.” She knelt and ran her fingers through his shaggy hair.

  “Laura said there are more in the collection.”

  She glanced at Laura, who immediately blushed. “Did she?”

  “Yeah, I’ll have to get the rest now.”

  “They’re not cheap, Aaron, so maybe we need to renegotiate your chores.”

  “Nah.” He shook his head. “Laura can get them for me.”

  “Aaron, don’t be rude,” Amy admonished. “You can’t demand gifts.”

  “How about this?” Laura said, sitting up and crossing her legs. “You help your mum with the chores she wants you to do and I’ll see if I can get a hold of the others?”

  “You don’t need to do that.” Amy’s tone was firm, if not a little pissed off. She didn’t need help from anyone in raising her son.

  “I want to,” Laura carried on as if she didn’t notice Amy’s warning glare. “I don’t have any nieces or nephews and I find I’m enjoying myself.”

  Who the hell does she think she is? Amy stood, placing her hands on her hips. “Aaron, go brush your teeth and say goodnight to Nanny and Grampy.”

  “Aww, Mum!”

  “Now.” He must have realised this was her no-nonsense tone because he shot out of the room as quick as he could.

  Laura stood, stretching her back. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. Well, yes. I don’t want you making promises to my son. You’re here to design a house, not bribe Aaron with toys.”

  “I wasn’t doing that. I just thought it would be a nice thing to do for him.”

  “I can afford to buy him his own toys.” She might not be working right now but she had plenty of money. She didn’t need anyone implying she couldn’t afford to buy things for her son.

  “I never said you couldn’t.” Laura smoothed her hair back, looking everywhere but at Amy. “I’m sorry. I need to go. I think I’ve outstayed my welcome.” She brushed past Amy, but Amy stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

  “Laura, wait.” Laura turned back, linking her fingers loosely with Amy’s. Amy felt the unfamiliar touch, but the urge to pull her hand away was absent. Laura’s hand felt nice in her own, her skin smooth and soft, and warm. “I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard. You offered to do a kind thing for him and I threw it back in your face.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. God. I don’t know what’s happening to me lately.” She smiled. “You have thrown me through quite a loop.”

  “I haven’t done anything.”

  “You have, and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

  “Amy, do you like me?” Laura asked as her gaze penetrated straight through Amy, Amy couldn’t look away.

  Did she? Yes, she did. And that was the problem. All these years she had closed herself off to intimacy, the fear of finally letting go of Julia too much to bare. It had been easy. No one had ever interested her before. However, Laura was different. There was just something about her, making Amy want to get to know her. “It’s hard not to.”

  Laura cast her gaze to the floor releasing her hold on Amy’s hand. “But you don’t want to, do you?”

  “I’m not sure anymore,” Amy whispered. She didn’t know what she wanted. How could she ever think about being with someone other than her wife? They had been together for ten years before Julia was killed, she was Amy’s only proper relationship. She was thirty-seven and she had a son to think about. She couldn’t just get involved with someone, not without thinking it through first.

  “I never meant to upset you or confuse you. I like you, and your parents. And Aaron is great. I guess I got a little caught up in your happy family I didn’t notice I was maybe over-stepping my boundaries.”

  “You haven’t. Don’t forget my mother was the one who invited you over.”

  “But still, I shouldn’t have enjoyed it so much. It’s just, since my nan died, I haven’t had anyone in my life. You have a lovely home and family and I enjoyed being here.”

  Amy stepped back, breaking the fragile connection between them. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this, whatever this is.” She indicated between them. “We can’t be your replacement family.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I...”

  “I’m finished, Mum.”

  Great timing, Kid. “Okay. Go pack your toys up and I’ll be in to tuck you in.”

  “Okay. Goodnight Laura. Thank you for the Lego.” He surprised Amy by hugging Laura tightly around her waist. “Best present ever!”

  “Even better than your gaming system?” Laura asked as she hugged him back.

  Aaron thought for a moment. “Well, not that great.”

  “It’s okay. Gaming systems are amazing. Goodnight, Aaron.”

  “I’ll be in in second.” They stepped outside, and Amy pulled his door closed so he wouldn’t be able to hear them talking.

  “I’m going to grab my things and get going. I’ll make sure any future meetings are done away from the house.”

  “You don’t need to do that.”

  “Yes, I do. This is obviously hard for you, and no matter how much I like you, you don’t want the same thing. It’ll be easier on us both.”

  “I really am sorry, Laura.”

  “Don’t be. It’s fine.” She stepped closer to Amy, leaning in, she whispered, “Take care, Amy,” then she kissed her softly on the cheek. She quickly turned away and headed down the stairs.

  Amy lifted her hand and touched her cheek where Laura’s lips had just been. It had been sweet, and chaste, and filled Amy with a longing she didn’t know she was capable of. Her stomach clenched. Why now? After all this time. Why now do I have to be feeling things again? With no answer forthcoming she went back into Aaron’s room and settled him into bed.

  A few minutes later she was seated in the lounge sipping on some of her father’s whiskey. Martha came in wearing her nightgown and settled next to her.

  “Are you okay, de
ar?”

  “Hmm?”

  “You look a little upset.”

  She waved her hand in the air. “Oh, no, I’m fine. I don’t think I’ll be seeing Laura again though. We had a chat and I told her I didn’t want anything to happen between us.”

  “So that was why she ran out of here like her ass was on fire.”

  “I’m sorry, Mum. I know you liked her, but I can’t do it.”

  Martha patted her knee. “It’s okay, honey. Maybe it was too soon.”

  Amy stared at her mother. “Really? Now you agree with me?”

  “No.” She shook her head and grinned. “I do happen to think she’s pretty special. She’s amazing with Aaron and he really likes her, but if you don’t think she’s for you, then so be it.”

  “So, you’ll stop with the match making?” she asked hopefully. She didn’t think she could cope with much more turmoil.

  “For a day or two. There are lots of women in this world.”

  “Mum!”

  “Just kidding. I’ll give it a rest for a while. Though I will say this, Laura is the first woman whom I’ve tried to set you up with that got under your skin.”

  “So?” she asked as she drew her eyebrows down.

  “So, maybe, you should reconsider your decision. Just saying.”

  “Will you still use her for your retirement home?” Laura really was talented, and it would be an awful shame if their little ‘misunderstanding’ got in the way of her parent’s dream.

  “Definitely. Your father keeps talking my ear off with the plans he has for the house.”

  “Do you know where you’ll build? I hope it’s not too far away from us.”

  “Don’t you worry, dear. You won’t be getting rid of us that easily.”

  “I love you, Mum.”

  Martha pulled her into a one arm hug and Amy settled her head on her shoulder. “I know. I love you too.”

  Chapter Six

  A week later Laura looked up from her computer screen when there was a knock on her office door and Jim walked in. “Good afternoon, Jim.”

  “Good afternoon.” She shook his hand and then he settled into the chair on the opposite side of her desk.” How are you?” he asked.