Julia smiled at them, watching as years of friendship and memories passed between them.
“Ladies,” Jacob said, poking his head out the door. “I’m afraid we’ve got a dinner reservation here soon,” he said as he looked at his watch. Eleanore stood and offered Margaret a hand to help her up out of the low chair.
“See you all later,” Eleanore said, waving at Julia and Daisy as they stepped back into the room carefully, her hand on Margaret’s arm the whole way.
Daisy leaned back in her chair and looked out at the water, taking a long sip of her drink. “So,” she finally said.
Julia kept her eyes trained on the water. Things had gotten off to an awkward start with Daisy, and she wasn’t sure where she stood with the older woman.
“I heard things aren’t going so well.” With a sideways look at Julia, Daisy put her lips together and waited.
“What did you hear?”
“Well,” Daisy said, finally turning her upper body so that she was facing Julia. Her body language said she was ready for gossip. “I overheard at breakfast that your young man was called up on stage last night during some ill-advised event meant to match up singles, and that you and everyone else heard that he’d been to prison,” she said, lowering her voice dramatically.
Julia took another long pull from her drink as she nodded. “That’s pretty much the sum total of it.”
“I see.”
The two women sat and faced the water again, not saying anything.
“Anyhow,” Daisy finally said. “Once upon a time, Arthur was in a prison of sorts.”
This got Julia’s attention; she turned her head and cast a glance into the room where Arthur was picking at the cheese plate. He was clearly busying himself so that the women would have a few minutes to talk.
“Arthur was in prison?” Julia whispered incredulously. That tiny, sweet man didn’t seem like he could even think a bad thought, much less commit a crime that could land him in prison. “Are you serious?”
“Oh, he was very young, of course,” Daisy said. Her eyes twinkled, but something about them was serious and deeply knowing. “But honey, many of our people were imprisoned for something that they believed in; something that couldn’t even be helped.”
Julia’s face changed as she realized what Daisy was talking about: the German concentration camps. “Oh…” She started to say something, but Daisy reached over and wrapped her fingers around Julia’s wrist, hushing her.
“It’s okay,” Daisy assured her, trying to stop Julia from getting Arthur’s attention. “My point is, sometimes we don’t know anything about a person’s intentions or their life experiences, and therefore we need more information before we can judge them. Do you see what I’m saying?”
Arthur began to hum to himself in the room behind them as he stacked up plates and glasses noisily.
Julia nodded, keeping her eyes on Daisy. “I think so.”
“Good.” Daisy squeezed her wrist one more time before letting go. “Then you should probably track this young man down and hear what he has to say.” She took another sip of her drink. “Go, go,” she encouraged, shooing Julia so that she stood up uncertainly and paused for a moment before stepping back into Arthur’s room.
“Hey, Arthur,” she said, looking around for somewhere to set her glass. He took it from her with a kind smile. “I think I’m going to go and see what’s happening on the ship tonight,” she said with a weak smile. She needed to find Martin before another hour passed and he got the impression that she was so rigid that she wouldn’t even be open to hearing the real details of his life.
“You do that, Mrs. Delmonico,” Arthur said. His bushy eyebrows pulled together as he frowned. “And Julia?”
“Yes?” Julia paused at the door, her hand on the knob.
“She’s not so bad, is she?” Arthur dipped his head in the direction of his balcony.
“Daisy?” Julia’s eyes flicked out to where the older woman sat, still enjoying her pre-dinner drink as she looked out at the water once more. “Nah, she’s not bad at all.” Julia felt a happiness growing inside her to imagine that Arthur might be warming towards Daisy. “You two have a good evening, okay?”
Arthur smiled sheepishly and waved her off, but even as he busied himself with cleaning up, she could see the twinkle in his eyes.
14
When Julia retrieved her phone from its charger and finally reviewed all the messages Martin had sent over the course of the day, she was disappointed to find that he’d stopped texting around the time she got back to the ship. Up until that point, he’d sent a fairly steady stream of messages requesting that she call him or meet up with him in Honolulu, and she’d missed a total of three phone calls from him. All she could imagine was that he’d finally taken her silence as a wall he couldn’t break through and given up. But now she didn't want him to give up.
The evening was balmy enough to be out in just her spaghetti-strap maxi-dress, and Julia held the hem of her skirt as she rushed up the stairs from the pool deck to the top deck, scanning the crowds of people as she went to see if she could spot Martin. He had to be there somewhere.
The potted palm trees on the top deck were cemented to the ship so that they wouldn’t move with the rocking and swaying of the boat, and white twinkling lights had been wound tightly around them and clipped into place. Couples cuddled in the early evening darkness on the lounge chairs as a low, pulsing soundtrack of music played through the speakers all around. The water splashed the hull of the ship far below in the choppy waves, and Julia stopped and leaned over the railing, pulling in a huge breath of the night air.
She’d replied to one of Martin’s texts and watched in frustration as it sat there, undelivered. When she’d tried his number, it had gone straight to voicemail. Either he’d turned off his phone, or the spotty connection on the ship was preventing her from getting ahold of him. Truth be told, she knew it would be better to see him in person anyway. To be able to look into his face and hear whatever he had to say. There were so many opportunities for misunderstanding when it came to sending written messages, and she’d rather just look into his eyes and let him see her face as she processed whatever truths he needed to share with her.
An older couple walked by slowly, their arms entwined as they ambled together, looking up at the clear night sky. The man smiled at Julia kindly and she smiled back, still leaning on the railing with both elbows. What would it have been like for her and Will if they’d gotten the chance to grow old together?
Would they have done something as impetuous (or well thought out, depending on your point of view) as spending their golden years sailing the world in style? Would he hold her arm as gently as the older man she’d just smiled at held his wife’s arm? She’d never know, and while she’d come to accept that fact, there were still times she wondered.
For starters, she wouldn’t be on a cruise like this if Will were still alive. She wouldn’t feel a blossoming attraction to a man with twinkly eyes and a great sense of humor and—apparently—a dark and mysterious past. She wouldn’t have to navigate the ups and downs of her daughter’s love life alone, and she could sleep easily every night knowing that she’d wake up the next day with someone to kiss her forehead and share a morning coffee with her. But none of that was the case, and she knew it.
Three long years had passed since Will had been gone, and she’d grown accustomed to no one kissing her good morning. And now, finally, she realized she wanted that again. She wanted to share herself and her life and all the little things that went along with that, but she felt scared—scared that she’d choose the wrong person, scared that she’d get her heart broken, scared that her life would change so much that she might not recognize it anymore.
And yet…she knew it was time.
With a final breath of the ocean air and a double tap of the railing with both hands, Julia turned and walked back to the stairs. If Martin wasn’t out and about and if he wouldn’t take her calls or texts, she’d g
o to him.
Martin opened the door to his stateroom and looked at Julia with surprise. He was shirtless and his hair was mussed, and she very nearly turned to go without saying a word, fearful that seeing him like this would eliminate her resolve to get to the bottom of his past.
“Can I come in?” she asked boldly, looking beyond him at the rumpled bed and the glass of whiskey on the nightstand. A book was open and resting facedown next to his drink.
“Uh, sure. Yeah.” Martin stepped back and let her walk through the doorway. When she glanced back, he was standing there in just a pair of black shorts, one hand on his chest as he assessed her. “Sorry it’s so messy. You want to go out onto the balcony?”
Julia stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him. From his messy hair down to his bare feet, he was completely charming and sexy. Julia inhaled and centered herself, holding her clasped hands in front of her.
“I want…” she said, trying to articulate her need to hear an explanation and to get reassurance all at once. But instead of formulating the words, she dropped her hands to her sides and walked back over to the door, surprising Martin as she got closer to him.
He let the door close as she grabbed his shoulders with both hands and pushed him lightly against the wall. For a long moment, they stood there—Martin’s bare chest just inches from Julia’s heaving breasts beneath the thin fabric of her dress—staring at one another. Searching each other’s eyes. Speaking without speaking.
“I want to know you,” she finally whispered hoarsely. “Really know you. I’m scared to go any further and not know you.”
In response, Martin’s hands found her waist and he pulled her even closer until her pelvis was against his, her breasts brushing against his naked skin. His lips were so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath. A rushing, pulsing sensation filled her with a sensation she hadn’t known in years, and in response, she pushed into him, feeling his hardness as his body responded in kind.
Rather than simply kiss her, Martin pushed one hand into the back of Julia’s pinned up hair, twisting it gently in his fingers as he tipped her head back and placed his lips on her mouth. The heat between them ratcheted up as his tongue explored her mouth hungrily. Julia moaned and put her hands on his bare chest, exploring his stomach, and finally hooking her fingers on the waistband of his shorts. Without hesitation, she slipped her hands under the fabric, feeling the smooth skin that covered his hips and the soft layer of hair on his buttocks. Some women might like the gym-pumped, waxed look of younger men, but Julia loved nothing more than a man who was truly a man: strong and firm and with hair in all the right places.
She made a small sound into his mouth and Martin lost control. He moved her to the bed, laying her gently on the mattress and crawling onto the foot of the bed, holding himself over her as he looked at her body splayed across the white duvet. Her dress was pushed up to the top of her thighs, and with one hand, he gently lifted the fabric, revealing a triangle of white cotton panties that made him breathe harder and faster. In his eyes she could see the desire of a man who saw something he wanted, and she knew that if she gave him the right signal, before long he’d be hers.
Martin’s hand ran up from Julia’s knee, trailing slowly up her inner thigh as he looked at her smooth skin. The light from the bedside table fell over them and the rush of the ocean through the open balcony door filled the small room. Over the waves Julia could hear Martin’s ragged breath as he bent forward, putting his hot lips against the cotton of her underwear. Her moan filled the room with a sound that had become unfamiliar to her, and when she realized it had come from her, Julia laughed, pressing both of her hands to the headboard behind her.
Martin looked up. “Are you okay?” he asked huskily. Julia nodded quickly, putting both of her hands in his messy hair and holding his head so that she could look into his eyes. “Do you want this?” he asked, his eyes hopeful. Julia nodded again, not tearing her gaze from his. “Okay,” he said, putting his lips back to the fabric and breathing out slowly so that she could feel the heat. As he did this, he never stopped looking at her.
Finally, Julia couldn’t take it anymore. “Come here,” she rasped, reaching for his shoulders, her voice begging. Martin didn’t make her wait. In one swift move, he tugged at the fabric that covered her hips and pulled it off her legs, tossing her underwear to the floor. He got to his knees and offered her a hand, helping her sit upright as he slipped her dress over her head and discarded that as well. For a moment, he stared at her body in awe, taking in her nakedness with a desiring gaze. Normally Julia might have felt like covering herself or turning off the light, but the way he looked at her made her feel both beautiful and wanted. So rather than hiding, she laid back, letting him see her as she arched her back and ran a hand over her own taut midriff.
Martin wasted no time taking off his own shorts. He stood beside the bed, eyeing her as she looked at him, appreciating his body and wanting to reach out a hand and touch him. Martin let her look for so long that she wondered if he was going to lay down next to her or not. When she finally couldn’t take it anymore, she reached for his body and touched him, making him lean toward her as they looked at one another with wonder.
“Come here,” Julia said. Finally, she switched off the lamp next to the bed and let the moonlight fill the room with silver and shadows. They could see each other clearly as the long, gauzy curtains blew in and out of the room with the breeze. Martin stretched out on top of her gently, letting his weight ease onto her as she wrapped her arms around his body. “Come here,” she whispered again, kissing him, running her hands over him, moving with him.
She still hadn’t asked the questions she’d come to ask, but that night, Julia got all the answers she really needed. Her heart and her body asked questions she didn’t even know she had, and Martin answered them all—again and again and again.
15
Julia woke up the next morning with a smile on her face. It took her a few moments to work out why exactly, but as she rolled over and came face to face with a sleeping Martin, she remembered.
“Hi,” he said, his eyes opening slowly in the half-light of morning. Neither of them had gotten up the night before to close the sliding door to the balcony, and consequently the morning sun and the sounds of the port in Maui filled the room.
Julia curled her body up and wrapped herself around him, burying her nose in the space near his chest and inhaling the spicy scent of his deodorant and soap and aftershave. It had been a long time since she’d woken up and smelled the unparalleled scent of a man imprinted on sheets and pillows, and something about it warmed and comforted her.
Before she could roll over and look at the clock, Martin pulled her closer in his arms, placing a kiss on the top of her hair and laughing lightly to himself. “Are you smelling me?” he asked with amusement in his voice.
“Maybe a little,” Julia admitted. “You smell nice.” She shrugged against the mattress and kept her face hidden so that he couldn’t see her cheeks go pink.
“That’s cute.” He kissed her hair again and gently rolled her body so that they were facing each other. “How eager are you to get off the ship?” His lips curled up at the corners as he took one hand and tipped Julia’s chin up so that she was looking at him fully.
She shrugged again. “I mean…I want to see Maui, but I’m not about to jump out of your bed.”
“Oh, you’re not?” He laughed again. “Good to know.”
They looked at one another quietly for a moment, silently assessing their situation.
“How are you feeling?” Martin finally asked her.
Julia paused and really contemplated it. It wouldn’t be unheard of for her to be wrestling with a variety of emotions after what had occurred between them the night before, nor would it be strange if she woke up feeling exposed in the bed of a man who wasn’t her husband.
Instead, she felt strong. And happy. And…free. There were none of the conflicting emotions she might have
predicted she’d have back when she’d first lost Will. At that time, she couldn’t have even imagined that this day would ever come, so undoubtedly she would have felt strange. But now…this was something different.
She gave him a smile that came from the heart. “I feel good,” she said. “In fact, I feel amazing.” Without waiting for him to say anything, Julia moved her head closer to his and kissed him.
Martin lifted his head briefly and looked at the clock. “I ordered breakfast to be delivered at seven-thirty. We have an hour.”
Julia turned her face to the ceiling and pretended to contemplate this. “What do you think we should do with a whole hour to kill?”
Before she could say anything else or make another joke, Martin had sprung up from beside her and pinned her gently beneath his body again. From his laugh, she knew he was just teasing her, but hoping that she might be willing to play along.
She was, so she squealed with joy when he put his face in her neck and kissed her there, and then she wrapped her legs around his waist to let him know she wanted more.
Maui was lush and beautiful and Julia’s rosy outlook made the entire day feel like a tropical adventure. It was night and day from the somber solo tour of Honolulu she’d taken the day before.
“What do you think?” Martin yelled over the rush of the wind as he drove them up a winding road in a top-down yellow convertible Mustang. They’d picked it up at the lot as soon as they’d gotten their footing on Maui, and he’d promised a day of spectacular views, off-the-beaten-path restaurants, and romantic spots.
Julia held onto her hat with both hands as she shouted back. “I think it’s spectacular!” The grin that spread across her face was unavoidable; the past twelve hours had been magical and had opened the door to a life that Julia hadn’t even known existed. She looked at Martin’s profile now, appreciating the way the sun played across his strong, tanned arms as he gripped the steering wheel and pushed them through curves and turns in the deep green foliage that surrounded the two-lane road.
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