The K Word: Cameron (Redefine Me #0.5)

by Michelle MacQueen

  Neither of them moved for a moment as their heavy breath filled the silence. Finally, Cam rolled to the side, and she sat up, turning away from him.

  Now that he was with her, everything he’d wanted to say fled his mind. His stomach churned with nerves. Since when did Peyton’s presence make him nervous? She’d always had a calming effect on him. He ran better when she came to watch. He could handle his parents if she was by his side.

  And now? Now he didn’t know what to do.

  She shivered, and he realized for the first time her coat was open.

  “Are you trying to get sick?” He crawled forward and reached for her zipper to pull it up.

  She was slow to respond. “I didn’t really notice the cold.” Her eyes never left her hands.

  He chuckled, the sound breaking some barrier between them. “You never do.” Since they were kids, it had become a bit of a joke that he had to remind her to take her coat every time they went outside in winter. But that’s how they were together. Peyton was the spontaneous one who had so much life in her eyes. Cam was the planner, the logical one who had goals that left very little time for deviations.

  Sometimes, he’d wondered why she cared about him at all. They were so different. But she did. And Peyton never did anything half way. When she chose her friends, she gave them all of her.

  Once her coat was zipped, Cam pulled his hands back and curled them into fists, but not before Peyton caught sight of his bruised knuckles.

  A tiny gasp left her lips, and she grabbed his hand. “You’re hurt.”

  “I’m fine.” He shook off her hand.

  She crossed her arms. “Cameron Tucker, did you punch someone?” Her lips pulled down at the edges and she gave him a disapproving glare.

  He narrowed his eyes. “For you. I punched that football asshole for you.”

  She shook her head. “The only reason anyone punches someone is for themselves. You shouldn’t go around hitting people.”

  “But…” he sputtered. “He said—”

  “I know damn well what was said in that room.” She wiped a hand over her face. “I also know what wasn’t said.”

  You didn’t defend her. At least until she’d left.

  He scooted forward until their knees touched. “Peyton.” He couldn’t help himself. Needing to touch her, he wiped a tear from her face with his thumb. “You know I could never think…”

  He couldn’t actually say it and he knew he’d been wrong to avoid it the moment he stopped speaking. Peyton shrank in to herself.

  “Believe me, I know what people think of me.” Her voice was quiet, but it wrapped around him like a cloak of sadness. “I’ve lived with it most of my life. I just thought…” She shook her head.

  He leaned in. “What did you think?”

  When she lifted her eyes, they shone with unshed tears. Her emotion slammed into him, stealing his breath away. Peyton had always kept her feelings carefully guarded. It wasn’t the first time people had made fun of her. Their school was cruel. But she’d always kept a mask of uncaring coolness firmly in place. Now it had crumbled into dust, revealing the girl he’d only seen a few times throughout their childhood. Vulnerable. Fragile. And just as beautiful as the strong girl he’d always known.

  Her eyes pleaded with him to take back his question. She couldn’t lie to him, and something told him she didn’t want to give him an answer.

  He needed to know.

  His eyes scanned her face as it reflected the shadows of the night. Silver moonlight bounced off the curves of her cheeks, the bridge of her nose. Her pale, frozen lips parted to release a puff of air.

  “What did you think, Peyton?” He wasn’t letting her avoid the question. Not this time.

  Her brows pulled together as silence stretched between them. After a few tense moments, Peyton shocked Cam by leaning forward and pressing her lips to his.

  He didn’t respond at first as his mind worked faster than his body.

  Peyton pulled away, rejection in her eyes.

  Cam wanted to erase every bit of hurt he saw there, so he did the only thing he could. He pulled her back to him, melting her icy lips with his kiss.

  A sigh escaped her.

  Cam rose up on his knees to change the angle and deepen the kiss. His hands wound through her hair, tilting her head up as he took control.

  Something clicked into place inside him, a rightness. His feelings for Peyton had been so confusing for months and now he knew why. She hadn’t simply been his best friend, not in a long time. She’d been Peyton, the girl who owned a piece of him, who’d always cared for him.

  “Cam,” she whispered against his lips. “Is this real?” Her hands skimmed the width of his chest as if exploring him for the first time. Maybe it was the first time. They’d slept in the same bed for years and curled up against each other for movies.

  But now they were strangers, getting to know new sides of each other.

  “Yeah, Peyton.” He leaned back, running his fingertips down her face until they rested on her swollen lips. “This is real.”

  “You’re still my best friend. You know that, right? This doesn’t have to change anything.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “This changes everything.” His eyes slid shut. “Sorry it took me so long.”

  She laughed and he snapped his eyes open, enjoying the sound. “I’m glad you find me amusing.”

  “Cam.” She shook her head. “You’re the most oblivious guy in the entire world. You don’t know how wonderful you are. How many girls you leave brokenhearted by refusing to date. It’s one of the things I like about you.”

  “Do you want to know what I like about you?”

  She grinned. “Yes.”

  Honesty. He could be honest. Just this once. He’d never been good at sharing his feelings. Most people at school thought he was a robot, only caring about his next running time. They were wrong. He cared… so much. He just didn’t know how to express it. No one had ever taught him. His parents gave him their single minded drive, their ambition, but little else.

  “You’re kind,” he began, a slow smile spreading across his face. “The kindest person I know. You can make me feel like the world isn’t such a bad place, like I’ll be okay if I don’t achieve everything I’ve been working toward. When I’m with you, I see different things. My future isn’t only clouded by Olympic rings. I don’t know what’s going to happen or if I’m going to make it and that terrifies me sometimes. But every time you tell me it’ll be okay, I believe it.”

  He cupped her cheek. “You make me fearless, Pey.”

  “You see me,” she said. This time, when a tear tracked down her cheek, he didn’t brush it away. “Not the weight.”

  “Well that’s easy.” He leaned in. “Because you’re beautiful.” He let his hands drift under the edges of her coat, wanting to hold her close for more than just warmth. “What’s this?” He pulled a gift box from her lap, turning it over in his hands.

  “Oh, um, that’s your Christmas present.” She fidgeted as if unable to sit still.

  “My gift?” Cam shifted, so he sat beside her, drawing her close.

  “I made it, so it’s super cheesy.”

  Peyton was all heart and cheese, and Cam loved every minute of it. He always had.

  “I’m one hundred percent certain I’ll love it.” And he was. She had a knack for gift giving, but even if she didn’t, getting anything from her made him happy. His parents would buy him expensive things to make up for missing Christmas or for being jerks most of the year. Peyton’s parents would give him a gift because they felt bad he was alone for the holidays.

  But Peyton… caring about him was part of her DNA.

  He lifted the lid, his eyes resting on piles of sealed envelopes. “What is all this?”

  “This is for you when I’m not around.” She reached for an envelope, her arm brushing against his chest. “When your parents are driving you crazy or when you have zero motivation to listen to your d
ad-coach and his bullshit. Open one of these for Peyton’s pearls of wisdom. Or just when you need a good laugh or a reminder that there is at least one other person who understands you and everything you shoulder all on your own. I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to train for the Olympics, but I know you and I know there will be times when you need these. And I hope it helps you through the tough times ahead.”

  His eyes widened as he rifled through notes, reading Peyton’s words. Some were funny, some inspirational. His heart pounded against his chest as he lifted his eyes to her. He realized instantly what she’d done. She’d given him her. She’d bottled up everything that was Peyton and put it into words so he always had her with him. She was the one person he’d always turned to when his life spun out of control. And she always would be.

  Whatever this was between them, whether it lasted or not, they’d always be in each other’s lives.

  “This is so perfect, Peyton.” He couldn’t resist the pull she had on him as he kissed her. He couldn’t believe he got to do that now. He’d resisted it, worried about losing the most important person in his life.

  But that was impossible.

  “I guess I should give you your gift too, huh?” He laughed.

  “Gimmie.” Peyton grinned.

  “It’s not here. And it’s not really a thing I can wrap.”

  “I don’t understand.” She narrowed her eyes. “Cameron Tucker, did you lose your Christmas spirit?”

  He would have laughed if she didn’t look so damn cute. Christmas was Peyton’s favorite day of the year. He’d never have forgotten to get her a present. He studied the anticipation on her face, suddenly second guessing not actually buying anything.

  What if she hated it? What if it wasn’t enough?

  He blew out a breath. No. That wasn’t Peyton. Their kiss didn’t change who she was.

  “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I hate surprises. Tell me, or… or these lips stay away from yours.”

  He leaned back and tilted his face to the dark ceiling, a grin stretching his lips as he caught sight of the mistletoe hanging over them. “You’re terrible.”

  “And stubborn.” She smiled now too. “You forgot stubborn.”

  “I could never once forget how stubborn you are.” He leaned forward, rolling onto his knees to look down at her and shifted closer until their lips were only inches away. “How’s the stubbornness working out for you?”

  She swallowed. “I want to know what my present is.”

  The edges of his lips curved up as he fought to maintain control of himself. What was it about this girl that turned him into a smiling fool? His entire life, he’d been the serious one. The focused one. But now… His eyes darted to her lips.

  Peyton sucked in a breath and turned her head. “You’re not playing fair.”

  “I’m not playing at all.”

  She pushed at his chest to gain some distance and he let her have it. She bit her lip, and Cam didn’t need to be able to see the emotion in her gaze to know she was nervous. He’d always been able to read her.

  “Cam…”

  “Yeah?”

  “I feel stupid, okay.” She heaved a sigh. “I gave you the lamest gift ever and know you probably did something amazing because you always do.”

  “Pey.” He flicked his eyes from the box of cards to Peyton. “These aren’t lame. Not even a little.” He watched her for a moment longer before relenting. “Fine, but your mom is going to kill me.”

  “My mom?”

  He nodded. “Last night… “He closed his eyes, suddenly thinking this was the worst idea ever. It wasn’t enough. “I spent all night at the diner.”

  “Um… why?”

  “To get it ready for you. I know how much you love Christmas and when your mom told me about your hijacked holiday, I wanted to make it better for you. So, I… uh…” He glanced down at his hands. “I turned the diner into this Christmas explosion. It kind of looks like Santa threw up in there.”

  She laughed suddenly. “That sounds… interesting.”

  He smiled, suddenly shy. “I did the whole tree and lights and fake snow thing. I didn’t want you spending Christmas in the same old diner you go to every other day. Part of the diner will look like a fireplace and I found the stockings we made when we were kids. You know, the ones your mom told you she threw out accidentally, but really she just didn’t want to let us hand those ugly things every year. Everyone’s going to be there and I completely just ruined the surprise, but you deserve real Christ—” His words cut off with a grunt as Peyton launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

  She buried her face in his neck, her breath blowing hot across his frozen skin.

  “Pey—”

  “Shut up,” she whispered.

  “Why—”

  “Because, Cameron Tucker, you’re perfect and I can’t kiss you when you’re trying to act like you aren’t.” She pressed her soft lips to his, and they melted together.

  He knew then he’d made the right choice. He shouldn’t doubt how much he knew the girl who’d been his best friend since he was a kid.

  She wasn’t just Peyton, and he wasn’t just Cam. They were Peyton and Cam.

  When Peyton pulled back, Cam followed, not ready to let go yet. “God, I love you, Pey.”

  She smiled against his lips. It wasn’t the first time they’d said it to each other, and it wasn’t a romantic love… yet. He’d always loved her. As his best friend. As his family. As Peyton.

  He couldn’t be himself without her. As she kissed him again, a million thoughts raced through his mind until he finally settled on one. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He’d almost screwed it up. Almost let their friendship remain as it had always been.

  Maybe that would have been okay.

  But this was better.

  The treehouse groaned, breaking them apart.

  “We need to get back to the party before Avery drunkenly tries to find us, gets lost in the snow, and freezes to death.” Cam glanced to the door.

  Peyton followed his gaze. “So how are we getting out of this thing? You broke the ladder with your big feet.”

  “Uh, you got a phone on you?” Cameron couldn’t help but laugh at her worried tone.

  “Nope. Guess we’ll have to scream.”

  “Or we could just wait till someone thinks to come looking for us.” He shuffled back away from the door, pulling Peyton with him. “In the meantime, I’ll keep you warm.

  The smile she sent him set his every nerve ending on fire. Was this the new normal for them? It was as if suddenly a switch had popped and he couldn’t look at Peyton without thinking of her lips… and other things.

  The guys were wrong. He wasn’t ashamed of liking Peyton. He knew what they thought of her, but they were idiots. She was the most beautiful girl in their entire school and he’d make her feel like it if it was the last thing he did.

  His knuckles still stung where he’d punched the football douche, and he reveled in the twinge of pain. He’d do it again. And again. He’d fight for every bit of Peyton’s confidence.

  He rested his head on her shoulder as he’d done a million times before when they were just friends. But this time it was more. This time, he didn’t want to let go.

  It should have scared him, but instead, it gave him hope. No matter what his parents threw at him, no matter what the kids at school said, he would be okay as long as his best friend was by his side.

  Want to know what happens to Cam and Peyton? Turn the page to reach chapter 1 of their full story, The F Word.

  The F Word: Chapter One

  Peyton

  Cameron is missing.

  Eighteen months ago, those three little words changed Peyton Callahan’s life forever. Everything that came after was like a punch in the gut, one right after another.

  Your brother is dead. Our rescue crew found Cooper’s body in the wreckage at the botto
m of Defiance Falls.

  They’d found her best friend, Cameron, the next morning. He went over the falls with Cooper, but he’d made it out of the car first. He washed up on the river bank miles away from the sight of the crash. He was unconscious, with a badly broken leg and a dangerous fever, but alive.

  After Cooper’s funeral, Julian, his twin, had left to go live with his aunt. Peyton knew it was hard for him walking around with Cooper’s face, seeing the regret in everyone around him, and hearing the wrong twin had died. She knew he needed the escape, but that left Peyton alone to deal with their parents’ grief along with her own.

  But the final blow threw Peyton over the edge. After he was discharged from the hospital, Cameron—her lifelong best friend—left her too. His dad claimed they sent him to work with a world-class physical therapist to get him back in shape. She hadn’t even had a chance to tell him goodbye.

  Now, eighteen months later, Cooper was still dead and Julian was still gone while Cameron was off at some Olympic Training Center chasing his gold medal dreams.

  “You’ve been polishing that same spot for the last ten minutes,” Peyton’s mother said as she stepped behind the diner counter, taking inventory of the coffee supplies. “Either wipe the whole counter or go clock out for dinner. And cancel your plans. I need you to work the late shift with me.”

  “Again?” she groaned. “I need to work on my STEM project tonight.”

  “On a Friday night?” Her mom’s eyes filled with pity. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

  Peyton scowled at her mother. Right she may be, but ouch. Once upon a time, Peyton had no shortage of friends and frequent weekend plans. Things changed after that night, and so had Peyton. Her STEM—Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics—project had saved her sanity over the last few months. It gave her something to focus on besides her grief.

  “Go get dinner,” her mother said in a softer tone. “We have some healthy new salads and vegan meals on the menu. You’ve been doing so well lately. Don’t let all the fried foods here tempt you. I’m proud of you.” Her words were kind, but there was no emotion behind them. Ever since the death of her stepson—whom she’d loved like a son since he was six years old—Sofia Callahan went through the motions of being a mother. She was like a robot, and the only thing that seemed to matter to her anymore was her work at the diner she owned with her husband, Brian, Peyton’s stepfather. Her parents threw themselves into working at the Main Street Diner. The Main was everyone’s favorite restaurant in Twin Rivers, thanks to Sofia’s blend of Spanish and American dishes along with her extensive dessert menu.