by Jenika Snow
Dad grinned at me, nodding with understanding. "New year, new you?"
"Something like that." I smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't call you last night. I was just nervous of what you'd say, and I knew I could count on Bastian to... take care of me."
"I'm glad you called him. But it's important that you know I'd never judge you for whatever happened last night. I'm here to help. But while we're on the topic... you shouldn't be drinking, Holly."
"I know," I muttered, my cheeks and my conscience burning. "I'm sorry, Daddy."
"I hope you've learned your lesson." He patted my hand. "And you certainly made up for making me worry so much. The roast was amazing, darling."
"I'm glad." I started clearing the plates, but I still felt his eyes on me as I made my way around the room. He appeared behind me, startling me as his hand landed on my arm.
"Are you sure everything's okay, honey?" he asked. The note of concern was unmistakable in his voice, and I hated myself for lying to him—the man who'd raised me.
"Of course. Everything's fine; I'm just a bit stressed out with school stuff. Don't worry about me, Dad."
"Okay, honey. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"Yes," I whispered, but this time, I wasn't fooling him. He gently squeezed my arm, making me look up at him.
"What's going on, Holly?"
"I like someone." I just blurted the words out before I could stop myself. I could never tell Daddy who I meant, but I didn't want to keep secrets either. "I like someone very much."
"Oh?" His smile was amused. "So this is about a boy, huh?"
"A man," I replied, swallowing back the rest of that sentence. "He's a man, really, not a boy."
"Older than you?" He raised a brow at me.
"Yes."
"Would I like him?"
I laughed nervously, muttering, "I think you really, really would."
"Then I don't know what the problem is." He smiled fondly at me, gently kissing my forehead. "If you like him, I'll like him too, honey. Don't worry about introducing me yet though. I can be patient. Are you taking precautions with this boy?"
"Precautions?"
"You know." He looked so uncomfortable I almost burst out laughing. "Protection...."
"Uh, yeah," I lied through my teeth. "Of course. Way to make it awkward, Dad."
He laughed and shrugged as he took some plates out of my hands and loaded up the dishwasher. The atmosphere changed from nervous and tense to amicable, and we cleared the table together and wiped down the counters. When I was just about to leave, Daddy's hand lingered on my arm again, making me look up at him once more.
"Take your time to work things out, honey," Dad said. "And remember, I'll be waiting whenever you're ready."
"Thanks, Dad." I offered him a grateful smile before scampering back to my room.
I finally got the chance to check my phone, finding several texts from Rosie on it. She was worried about me and apologized profusely about the previous night. Instead of texting back, I called her number and lay on my bed, waiting for her to pick up. I didn't have to wait long, and the thought that she'd been waiting by her phone for me to call made me grin.
"First of all, I'm so freaking sorry," she started breathlessly. "I cannot believe I ruined your night like that, and I am so, so sorry."
"Don't worry," I consoled her. "It happens to the best of us. I'm just glad you're okay."
"Thanks, Holly. But what about you? What happened after you took me home?"
"I..." I bit my bottom lip nervously, getting up to close my bedroom door. "I went home with him."
"You did?" Holly screeched. "I can't believe it! Did something happen?"
"Um. Yeah, kind of."
"Okay, you have to tell me everything. I want details. I want the full story."
"I don't think I should," I whispered, feeling the burn of tears in the back of my eyes. "I shouldn't have done it. I really messed up, Rosie."
"Messed up?" she repeated. "Messed up how? You only did what you've been wanting to do for years, acted on your natural instincts. There's nothing wrong with that, babe."
"But..."
"But what?"
"But my dad," I managed. "He'd be so upset if he knew what I've done."
"Why do you think so?"
"Because," I went on. "Bastian is his best friend, and he's so much older than me. I just know he wouldn't approve."
"I think you're judging your dad too much," Rosie said firmly. "I don't think he'd hold it against you at all. But if you aren't ready to tell him, you should wait to see how your feelings develop, until you're ready to tell him. Bastian isn't going anywhere."
"You don't think he is?" I chewed my bottom lip.
"Girl, are you kidding?" Rosie laughed on the other end of the line. "He's totally head-over-heels for you. There's no way he's going to give up on you, especially after last night. You just take some time to figure things out for yourself, and I'm sure he'll be waiting when you realize he's the one for you."
"Is he the one for me?" I whispered, even though I already knew the answer.
"Only you can answer that question," Rosie replied cryptically. "I have to run, but I'll text you later tonight. Love ya, babe!"
I cut the call, sitting on my bed with the phone in my hands and with Rosie's questioning ringing in my head. Was Bastian the one for me? I'd never had doubts about it. Now, I was more worried about circumstances not allowing us to be together. But there was no question about whether we were meant to be together.
The answer had always been a resounding yes.
Nine
Holly
Before I knew it, it was New Year's Eve. Despite my insistence to avoid Bastian as much as I possibly could, I found myself getting ready with Rosie that evening. We'd arranged for Sean to pick us up at my father's house, and Rosie was rifling through my closet to find shoes to match the dress we'd bought.
"You're going to look incredible," she told me time and time again. "He's going to eat his heart out."
I groaned, lying on my back on the bed. "What's the point? We can never be together."
"If only you weren't so stubborn." Rosie clicked her tongue and tossed a black lacy thong at me. "Put that on and the dress on top."
I straightened up. "What about a bra?"
"You can't wear a bra with that dress," she insisted. "Plus, it allows for easy access."
"Rosie Jenkins!"
"What?" She stuck her tongue out at me. "You might need it—you never know."
"You're so bad." I had a wistful grin on my face as I collected the clothes and disappeared into the bedroom. I removed my lounge clothes and put on the dress along with the thong. A look in the mirror revealed what I feared most—I looked good. Good enough to make Bastian want me, and I couldn't let that happen. We had an obligation to Dad, and I couldn't break his trust like that.
I left the bathroom to the sound of Rosie gasping. She sat me down in my room and spent half an hour doing my makeup before curling my long, brown hair into beautiful, rich waves. She spent so much time on me she only had twenty minutes to get ready herself, but by the time we were done, there was no doubt about it; we both looked like knockouts.
The doorbell rang a few minutes later, and we headed downstairs giggling. Dad was already waiting by the door, frowning at Sean as he waited for us to exchange greetings.
"Remember, be safe," he muttered in my ear, eyeing Rosie suspiciously. "Be good."
"Of course." I nodded. He was already upset about Sean. How on earth would he react if he knew about Bastian? "I'll see you tomorrow, Dad."
"You're not coming home?"
"Sleeping over at Rosie's." I nudged my friend, and she tore her eyes from Sean, smiling at my dad.
"What? Oh yeah. We're having a girls' night after the event."
"Can I join?" Sean joked, but the ice-cold stare from my dad shut him up fast. "Err, sorry, just a bad joke."
"I should hope so." Dad pressed a kiss against
my cheek while I swallowed another groan. Then, we were on our way.
The party was just as glitzy and glamorous as I'd imagined.
There were suited-up waiters serving gourmet canapes, and nobody asked for ID when I grabbed a flute of champagne from one of the silver trays. The music was low and pleasant, the room was huge, and the attending guests all wore designer clothes. I felt out of my league and depressed, my mind consumed with Bastian. Despite getting some approving looks from men in the room, I couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to chat with any of them. I just wanted Bastian, but I knew how wrong it was, so I did my best to stop the need for him in its tracks.
"Holly!" Sean came over, handing me another glass of champagne. "You seem so down. Are you sure you don't want to hit up the dancefloor with me and Rosie?" He motioned to my best friend who was busy twerking on an older gentleman, making me snicker.
"No, I'm fine, thanks," I mutter. "Go have fun."
"Sure, Holly. Don't forget though; we're here for you." He winked. I nodded gratefully, surprised Sean had turned out to be such a gentleman. That was unexpected.
Even two hours into the party, I couldn't see Bastian anywhere. I knew I’d recognize him, even with a mask on. It seemed like he'd bailed, and the thought filled me with regret at knowing I wouldn't see him that night. Not that it was a good idea, but... for days, my body had been aching for him, crying out for the closeness we'd had in his bedroom. I'd tried to replicate it with my vibrator, but it didn't even come close. I wanted the real thing. I wanted Bastian. I wasn't sure whether I was ready to admit it to him yet, but his absence made me think of him that much more. What I'd do to be in his arms, feel his strong grip on my butt, his cock spearing me and leaking the treat I'd worked so hard for all over my pussy. God. The thought alone made me wet, and I flushed, putting the glass down and heading to our table.
Rosie and Sean were still busy dancing, but I'd seen the program for the night, and I knew Bastian was one of the speakers for the event. Surely he wouldn’t flake. Throughout the next twenty minutes, my eyes kept darting to the stage, hoping he'd show up for his slot. But no. He didn't come. The embarrassed host had no idea what was going on, and dread twisted my stomach into knots. What if something bad happened?
My mind latched onto the idea and I couldn't stop thinking about it. A car crash, a freak accident.... It could have been anything. What if something really happened? Something terrible?
I was getting myself worked up. All the emotions I'd bottled up since my mother had died, closed and locked behind thick doors, were struggling to break free at the most inappropriate of moments. I felt myself getting choked up, the emotion coming to a head inside me. I was going to start crying. I was already hyperventilating, terrified and on the verge of tears. I took off my mask as my eyes scanned the dancefloor, panicking as I looked for Sean and Rosie. But I couldn't see either of them.
Just then, a hand wrapped around my forearm, and I turned around with a gasp dying on my lips. It was him. The one I wanted it to be the most.
"Bastian," I whispered.
"Shhh, sugar plum." He smoothed my hair down. "Are you having a funny turn?"
"Yes," I managed to get out. I hadn't heard those two words in a long time. It's what Mom used to call my panic attacks. Bastian had seen a few in his time with us, but I hadn't had one since Mom had gone. She'd been the only one able to help me when it happened, the only one who knew how to calm me down. Without her there, I was afraid I'd simply shatter.
"It's okay, sugar plum," Bastian went on, his voice soft and calm. "Look at me. Right into my eyes, and breathe deep. Hold my hands. As tight as you can." His hands took mine and I wrapped my fingers around him, taking trembling breath after breath. "See? You're being such a good girl, Holly. I'm so, so proud of you. Keep looking at me. That's right, right here."
My eyes bore into his. I didn't feel scared then like I had that morning after. I felt like he was saving me. Like he'd been sent there to save me.
"In and out," he kept saying. "In and out, breathe with me, Holly. It's all right." He gently pried one hand out of my grip and handed me a glass of water. "Drink. The whole glass, nice and slow."
I gulped down the water, and when I set the glass down, I choked out a sob, and a single tear slid down my cheek.
"You're okay," Bastian said. "See? You're just fine."
"You're..." My bottom lip quivered. "You're here."
"Of course I'm here," he told me firmly. "I went to your place first, and your dad told me where you were. It's good you're here. I have a little surprise for you, sugar plum."
"What is it?"
"You're about to find out. But are you sure you're okay now?" He touched my forearm. "Your breathing seems to have slowed down."
"Yes, I'm fine," I muttered. "I'm so sorry for that. It hasn't happened since—"
"I know." He squeezed my arm then to reassure me. "It's okay, sugar plum. I was here to help. I watched your mom do it so many times I must've picked up some tricks."
"Yeah, I guess." I gave him a shaky smile.
"You look incredible, Holly."
"Thank you." I looked away. "What's the surprise, then?"
"Just watch and see." He stood up, motioning to the host of the evening, who rushed over with a microphone for Bastian. I watched him clear his throat and ascend the stairs leading up to the stage. He tapped the microphone and spoke a deep, throaty hello into it. Instantly, he had everyone's attention. Bastian wasn't a man anybody could ignore. He commanded respect. "Good evening, everyone, welcome to the charity gala."
He waited for people to look at him, shooting me a comforting look just as Rosie and Sean slipped into their seats.
"Are you okay?" Rosie whispered.
I nodded, motioning to the stage. "Look who's here."
Her hand found mine and held on while we watched Bastian address us all.
"I've been invited to speak here today, as the foundation has been so kind to honor me," Bastian spoke up. "I'm so proud to say we've established a new family program with the Breast Cancer Awareness Foundation. Each month, it will send three women with a terminal diagnosis on a vacation with their families. We sometimes fool ourselves into thinking there's nothing we can do. There is something; we can stick together in the toughest times, and we can unite families. It was with that in mind that this foundation was established."
Applause followed. My eyes filled with tears. Was I hearing this right?
"I was inspired by my dear friend and her family, Barbara and the rest of the Hallidays." Bastian looked straight at me to go on. "As luck would have it, Barbara's daughter, Holly, is here with us today. Holly, would you please stand up?"
A spotlight found me in the audience, and I smiled before rising to my feet. I was nervous, but the bright light was so blinding I could barely make out anyone but Bastian alone, so I focused on him.
"Holly, I've known you as a little girl, and I've known you as a woman," Bastian went on. "I've loved you as both. And throughout the years, you have shown me you are truly your mother's daughter. You have her kindness, her beauty, and her wisdom. There isn't a day I don't remember her and think of how proud she'd be of you, sugar plum."
I laughed as a tear slid down my cheek. Thank you, I mouthed, touching my hand to my chest.
"I am happy to announce the Barbara Halliday Foundation!" Bastian raised a glass to the audience. "I watched Barbara Halliday spend her last days with her husband and daughter, and I'd never seen her happier. We want to commemorate those moments and give these families a beautiful memory."
"To the Barbara Halliday Foundation." The words rang out as I sat down and a man on stage congratulated Bastian. Rosie discreetly handed me a tissue, and I dabbed my eyes as the music came back on and Bastian came to sit next to me.
"Did you like it?" he asked, and I nodded.
"It was perfect. She would have loved it. She always wanted to see the world."
He looked right into my eyes. "Holly, have you forgive
n me?"
"For what?"
"For that night... I was foolish. You'd been drinking."
"Bastian... no." My hand found his. "I don't regret what happened."
"Then why..." His brows knitted together in worry. "Why have you been avoiding me, sugar plum?"
"Because I'm worried about my dad," I whispered. "I'm worried he'll be mad at us… or refuse to be my dad anymore. Or that you'd lose your best friend."
"Holly. I'm not going to let that happen."
"Promise?" My eyes found his and he nodded gravely.
"If anyone understands true love, it's Aston. There's a reason he's my best friend, sugar plum."
"So, what then?" I whispered. "What happens next?"
"What happens next—" He leaned over to whisper in my ear. "—is I take you to my house and we christen the New Year together. How do you like that idea, Holly?"
"It's perfect." I giggled, flushing.
"Then let's go," he said, gallantly offering me a hand and sweeping me off my feet. "I can't wait to unwrap my last present."
Ten
Holly
I sat with my legs clasped together in the passenger seat of Bastian's car. He'd told me not to distract him. To sit there like a good girl and wait until we got home. I was struggling with it now, inches away from him. He was much harder to resist when he was close enough to touch.
"Stop it, sugar plum," he muttered.
"I'm not d-doing anything," I stuttered, laughing nervously. "I'm just nervous."
"We've already done this," he reminded me. "Don't tell me I'm that forgettable."
"You could never be forgettable." I tried to sneak my fingers under my dress, and he noticed, glaring at me from the corner of his eye, remaining calm and focused on the road.
"Holly. Stop it."
"I can't." My fingers worked eagerly to get beneath the thong. "Let me just—"
"Holly. Hands. Off."
"I don't want to."
