“My information from when I was a baby. Pictures included. You’re welcome to look at them. She has my hair, the color and the curls,” he said.
That made me defensive, and I didn’t bother to pick up the folder.
“That would make sense considering she’s your child,” I said firmly.
“Before we go any further in this conversation, I need to let you know that my mother mentioned our lawyer. The family has an attorney on retainer, and she immediately thought it would be appropriate to get in touch with him and get his involvement in this whole situation from the very beginning,” Darren told me.
I felt myself recoil. The horrified look on my face made Darren scoff. Maybe I deserved that, but that didn’t mean I was just going to lie down and let him walk on me.
“When I first told you about Willa—which is her name, by the way; you can say it—I asked you not to take her. That might have come across as a plea, but it wasn’t. I didn’t think we needed to go this route, and you need to understand, if you get lawyers involved, I will fight,” I told him without hesitation.
“I hope that won’t be necessary,” Darren said. “I don’t want to deal with a lawyer either if we can avoid it. I will, if I have to, but for now, we need to go one step at a time. You offered a DNA test, and I want it. I know you have her medical records here.”
“Yes, and they have her blood type. If you want to compare…”
“No,” he said flatly.
That took me aback. I wasn’t proud to say I didn’t think Darren had it in him to respond to me like that, but it truly surprised me. There was nothing to worry about considering I knew without a shadow of a doubt he was Willa’s father, but I didn’t expect him to be so forceful. From what I knew about him and the way he’d been treating me recently, I genuinely thought he wouldn’t question me. But now he was pushing back hard, and I had to process how I felt about that.
“No?” I asked.
Darren shook his head again.
“No. I have my records, and we could compare blood types, but that’s not exact enough. Just having a blood type that would come from the combination of two parents doesn’t really prove anything. I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, but it could just as easily mean her actual father has the same blood type I do. That wouldn’t be that great of a leap. I want a true DNA test,” he demanded.
Drawing in a breath, I nodded.
“All right. How do you want to do it?”
“In the morning, I’m going to the doctor. I get my blood drawn regularly as it is because of the racing, and I’m due for a draw. I’ll explain the situation and have them take an extra tube. You will need to bring Willa in to have a swab done. We’ll submit it to a private clinic and have it processed.”
“I can do that,” I told him. “I’ll bring her in tomorrow.”
Darren nodded and stepped up closer to me so he could lean forward and examine Willa’s face. He studied her closely, like he was trying to find other signs they were related or was waiting for some sort of instant attachment, a paternal instinct to kick in. I looked over at Kira. My sister shook her head at me like she didn’t know what to think, either. Nodding at her, I tipped my head back toward the bedroom. She immediately understood what I was trying to say and got up to come over to us. I turned the baby toward her, and she took Willa out of my arms.
“Come on, Willa,” she said cheerfully, lifting her eyebrows and smiling broadly to make sure Willa felt secure and didn’t sense the anger growing in the room. “Let’s go take a bath and get ready for bed.”
The bathroom door closed, and I turned to Darren again. I didn’t know what to do or say, or how I was supposed to respond to any of this. There was no playbook here; I had no idea how we were supposed to move forward from this.
“Once the test is over, we’ll open the results together. Now, if those results come out and show you’re not lying to me and this isn’t some ploy to get my money, you and I are going to have a very long talk and figure some stuff out. Until then, stay out of my way. Do you understand me? I don’t want to be near you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t even want to see you. Working at the garage is going to make that difficult, I understand, but you do everything you can to avoid me, and I promise you I will do everything I can to avoid you. If you need something, you talk to my father or to Quentin. I have never been as angry as I am right now, and I have no idea what that’s going to mean or how it’s going to manifest.”
I tried hard not to be offended, but it was a challenge when there was so much in that little speech to piss me the fuck off. Remembering my daughter was just in the bathroom down the hallway and would be able to hear if I went off on him, I forced myself to stay calm. This was supposed to be about her. The whole reason we were doing this was because I wanted her to have her father, or at least for him to know he had a daughter. He was angry and hurt. My feelings aside, he was entitled to that reaction. I needed to remember that and give him the chance to work through it. Even if it felt like he was dragging me over sandpaper.
I held out the folder with all of Willa’s information, and he snatched it from me. Without another word, he stormed out. That’s all I could take before I was crying. I dragged in a few breaths, trying to settle myself down. Knowing Kira was taking care of Willa and would get her settled down for bed at least took pressure off, and I was able to just sit there and try to get calm.
27
Darren
I never realized just how exhausting anger and stress could be. I guess that was one of the benefits of not having as impulsive and fiery a personality as my brothers did. They were known to occasionally explode, some more than others, and seemed to experience more stress and anxiety than I did. At least, that’s what I thought. Then this happened to me, and I felt the full force of going through something so intense. After I left Kelly’s house, I was so full of adrenaline and rage it was like I could have done an Ironman competition and then built a house with my own bare hands. But that didn’t last for long. I couldn’t sleep at all the night after I got the life-changing news and was up bright and early the next morning to go get my blood drawn.
Getting regular blood draws was something I was very used to. Ever since I started racing, I submitted to getting my blood drawn on a fairly frequent schedule. This was for a few reasons. Ever since we were young, Dad had insisted all four of the brothers be responsible and accountable for their own health and well-being. He made it extremely clear he wouldn’t tolerate any sort of controlled substance, and that became even more pressing when I started racing. It had been a tradition of the company since well before I even got on the back of a motorcycle to check in with the racers randomly to screen for drugs or anything else that he might not approve of.
Even though I’d never used any type of drug and would never consider taking a performance-enhancing substance of any kind, out of respect for my father and for tradition, I kept up with the checks. Getting my blood drawn regularly was about more than just ensuring I had a clean bill of health every time I got on my bike to race. It was also about making sure I was ready to face whatever might happen in that race. As evidenced by the catastrophe with Greg at the last race, these events could be extremely dangerous. I was very fortunate to have never been involved in something truly dangerous or have my life at risk. But others had.
Some nights were still scarred by nightmares that came from the memories of wrecks I’d witnessed. Very early in my career, I watched a man go down and hit the track with a force that destroyed several bones and nearly caused him to bleed out. He was mere moments from death and was only saved by transfusions. When I met Colby and found out his sister was a phlebotomist, it inspired me to start collecting blood so it would be available if there was ever an emergency like that. Having a stash of my own blood ready meant if there was ever a time when I needed a transfusion because of an accident, the hospital wouldn’t have to try to find a match, and I wouldn’t deplete the stores of blood for others who might ne
ed it.
There was a certain degree of the macabre in the plan, but it made me feel more confident, so I did it as frequently as I could. I did it so often it usually didn’t bother me at all but asking for the extra blood and explaining the situation to her was upsetting all over again. She was understanding and supportive, even saying her lab could process the test for me. That made me feel better, knowing at least somebody I was familiar with was handling this critically important moment of my life. But after everything was done and submitted, all the adrenaline left me, and I was completely exhausted.
Feeling drained and empty, I didn’t leave my couch for all of Saturday afternoon or night and stayed there through Sunday morning. I fully intended on staying longer, but I wasn’t given the choice. My front door burst open and Quentin, Nick, and Colby stormed in like they were sent on a mission. Each one carried a bag under one arm, and I immediately wondered which one of them my mother talked to first.
“You look like a hot mess,” Colby said.
Quentin made a snorting noise.
“You’re a lot nicer than me. I was going to say you look like something chewed you up, spit you out, then turned you into cud,” he said.
“Gee thanks,” I muttered, dragging myself up so I was at least sitting up on the couch rather than lying on it to look up at them.
“What the hell did you do to yourself?” Nick asked.
“Liquor,” I answered.
As soon as I put the materials into the lab, I drove straight to the liquor store and stocked up. It felt like the kind of weekend where I was going to need it to get through. It was going to be a couple days before the results came through, and I wanted to be lucid and thinking about it as little as humanly possible. The ragged appearance all came from the night before, though. I hadn’t yet started drinking for the morning. But at least it seemed there was no judgment coming from my friend and brothers as Colby reached into the bag he held and handed me a bottle of green juice.
“This will take the edge off the hangover,” he said. “Do you have any good greasy food in your kitchen?”
“No,” I said. “I’ll have to order something.”
“That might be a good idea. But get started on this,” Nick said, handing me a sandwich. “Start absorbing some of that alcohol.”
Quentin set his bag down without taking anything out of it and walked around in front of the couch. Moving an empty whiskey bottle aside, he sat down on the coffee table and folded his fingers in his lap, staring at me intently.
“Tell us,” he said.
I nodded and took a deep breath before spilling everything that happened a few days before.
“You guys know how I’ve felt about Kelly and what a big deal it was when she showed back up,” I started.
All three of them nodded.
“We were there the night you first met her, then again when you ran into her again. We’ve seen the puppy dog looks,” Quentin told me.
“It’s more than just puppy dog,” Colby pointed out, defending me from a further ribbing by my big brother. I knew Quentin didn’t mean any harm and was just trying to be an older brother making things less miserable for me, but it also felt good to have my best friend step in to block him for me. “You should hear how he’s been talking about her. There’s something real there.”
“It’s true,” I confirmed. “At least, I thought there was something real. After meeting her on my birthday three years ago, I never really stopped thinking about her. I mean, I’ve been with other girls and dated around, so it’s not like I’ve just been sitting up in a tower and pining for her while I wrote melodramatic poetry or anything.”
“What about that piece of paper you keep in your pocket when you race?” Nick asked.
“What piece of paper?” Colby asked.
“He has this folded piece of paper he always puts in his pocket before the race. Then he puts it in his wallet when he gets done. I’ve always assumed it was a poem or love letter or something. That sort of fits in with your whole persona,” he said.
“Yeah, it kind of does,” Colby confirmed.
“It’s actually from Kelly. It’s the note she wrote me the night we met. Well, I guess the morning after we met. It’s what she left on my pillow when she went back to Canada. I’ve kept it with me since then.”
“Why would you keep something like that?” Nick asked.
“For some reason I didn’t throw it away when I found it. I forgot I shoved it in my pocket until after the race that night, and I won. It kind of became a good-luck charm. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to throw it away since. Then when Kelly showed up again, I realized it was because I still have feelings for her. I told her that just a few days ago.”
“He’s been bringing her coffee and stuff,” Quentin told Nick.
“I didn’t want to push anything too fast or make her feel like I just wanted a fling with her. When she texted me, I thought it was because she finally decided she wanted to talk about our relationship. The whole point of taking things really slow and just showing her I cared about her was so she didn’t feel pressured or awkward. I thought there could be something real between us. But then I got to her house, and she just blurted out that she has a little girl and that she’s mine. Just like that. Then when I went to Mom and Dad’s house and got pictures and stuff to bring to her, she got all pissy with me because I said I wanted a DNA test. Like it was so normal for a woman to go through a pregnancy and raise a child for over two years before telling the baby’s father.”
“I’m glad you did that,” Colby said. “This isn’t the time to play nice guy.”
I didn’t realize how much of my anger had been shoved into the back of my mind until going over the whole sordid tale brought it back with even greater ferocity. By the time I was finished talking, I was furious again and I chugged the juice, then shoved most of the sandwich into my mouth. Colby waited until I swallowed down the turkey and cheese before handing me another bottled health concoction.
“Can you even believe that?” I asked. “What kind of woman does something like that?”
Quentin cleared his throat, and I turned my attention back to him.
“Before Merry and I got our shit together, she got pregnant, found out, then didn’t tell me. So, I sort of understand.” I snorted at him, and he gave me a glare. “I said sort of understand. Obviously, this is different. Either way, we’re here and we’re going to stick around as long as you need us to. So yell, get angry, cry if you need to. We’ve got you,” he said.
Right then, I felt so lucky. No matter what I was going through, I had these amazing people in my life, and they were willing to see me through whatever I was facing. They stayed all day, ordered me a huge assortment of greasy, unhealthy food from a variety of restaurants, and watched stupid TV with me. By the time they got me in the shower and tucked me into bed that night, I thought I might have finally chased away the anger.
28
Kelly
It was almost surreal coming home from submitting Willa’s DNA sample to the lab for the test. As much as I’d thought about this situation before, I never really let my mind drift to the mechanics and details of it. It was strange to say the least to fill out the paperwork and hear that Darren had already submitted his sample, so they were ready to go through with the test. Kira was waiting for me when I got home. She’d offered to go along with us, but I felt like it was something I needed to do on my own. I didn’t want to. What I really wanted was to have my twin sister right there beside me like she had always been my whole life. But I had to think clearly and realistically about the situation and what it really meant.
Darren was already hurt and angry about me leaving him out of the very beginning of Willa’s life. Even if there was a part of him that was questioning the validity of his paternity, the part that did believe the truth realized he’d had a daughter out there in the world for two whole years without knowing it. And not only did he not know he was
a father, but he was very aware there were other people who experienced those days and weeks and months with me and with his child. It had to be painful to think about everything he had missed, and now my family, particularly Kira, had been able to witness all of that.
I had to be sensitive to that reality and to what it must put him through. Though I didn’t know if he was going to be at the lab when I submitted Willa’s cheek swab, if he was, I wanted it to be just me there. Seeing Kira would be a reminder of her involvement and make it seem like I was trying to gang up on him. So, I sucked it up and went alone. It turned out, he wasn’t even there. But it was still a relief to get home and see her there with lunch already prepared.
“How was it?” she asked.
“He wasn’t there. And I was really glad they only had to do a cheek swab on Willa. She’s never had to have her blood drawn for anything. I really didn’t want her to have to go through that for something I already know,” I said.
“Well, the test isn’t really about you,” she commented.
I paused as I lowered Willa to the floor so she could play with her toys.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“You just sound like you feel inconvenienced by having to do the test,” Kira said. “Like it kind of offends you that you have to do it.”
“Shouldn’t I be? I mean, I know I’m the one who offered to get the test, but I didn’t think he was actually going to take me up on it.”
“Why not?”
“He just doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would ask me to do it, that’s all. How would you feel if you were in my situation?” I asked.
“I would probably feel like he wants to be sure. I know it’s an uncomfortable situation for you but think about it from his perspective. You two didn’t know each other. You didn’t even know each other’s last names. You literally left the country the morning after you slept together. It wasn’t some sort of euphemism or a way for you to chicken out of ever seeing him again. You actually went to another country and were there for three more years during which time you gave birth to his child. He had no idea he would ever see you again, and then when he did, you didn’t even tell him about the baby until it had been weeks and you coincidentally were already working at his family’s business.”
The Freeman Brothers: A Secret Baby Romance Collection Page 36
