by Emily Wilson
Azrian reaches over to take Kato’s hand. “That's awesome news! But sweet Cettia, where are we gonna put everyone?”
Kato wants to respond, but he's struggling with words. Most of his life he’d believed he’d never know his brothers — if they were even alive — and now the prospect of meeting two of them was almost too much. He stares at them both so long they actually start to look worried for him, and he forces out the first words that come to mind: “Um... I can sleep outside with Nut and Axis.”
“That's ridiculous, Kato,” Az says instantly. “Your brothers would what, then... sleep with me?”
“You? No. You’ll be with me.” The thought makes Kato frown even though he doesn’t fully understand the emotions behind it. “We’ll figure it out. Maybe we can go to Rhix’s house with them? Since he’s always here in your mom’s room.”
Azrian grimaces as Riley giggles. “Kato,” Az starts with a sigh. “We’ll just put them in Rone’s room. Ronan can sleep on the couch again. It'll be okay.”
“Okay, then. It's settled, which is good. They'll be here any day now,” Riley says.
Kato grins from ear to ear. When they left Deadrun, things were a constant uphill battle and each day felt like a struggle to survive, but it’s only gotten better now that they’re settled and finally beginning their lives. “Will you still be here when they arrive?”
She shakes her head. “Nope, I promised Neginah I'd be back to help her and Han. We’ve got almost everyone back where they belong, but we’re still trying to get Deadrun set up as a prison. Praediti-proofing is harder than it sounds.”
“Yeah, Melior used pure fear and stealing kids when they were young enough to be manipulated. I imagine containing adult Praediti is much more difficult. There’s only one exit, at least.” Kato ruffles her hair. “You’re still the shortest Praediti I know. Rone might pass you soon.”
“They put the most dangerous ones in the smallest packages, K8.0,” she replies in a mocking tone. “Guess that means you're harmless.”
Azzy scoffs. “Yeah right. He's about as harmless as Mors Byssum.”
Kato rolls his eyes and wraps an arm around Az, slouching so his chin is resting on his shoulder. “Does that mean you shouldn’t eat me even though I smell sweet?”
Riley releases a disgusted noise as she turns back to the house. “That’s exactly what I meant by gross, Kato!” she calls as she ducks inside, and Kato huffs into Az’s neck.
“Well, at least that'll be one less person we have to house... but I'll tell you, I’m starting to like the idea of building another house. I know it'll be a lot of work, but it'll be worth it. Especially if Rhix and my mom stay together, though I can't figure out why she doesn't just stay with him. I think he's doing it to mess with me.” Az tilts his head to kiss Kato’s cheek and holds there for a moment. “Shadowhead.”
“I-I heard him and Roe talking about it the other day. She won’t leave because she said this is her home — even if the foundation is new — and she’s worried to be far from you. If she had it her way, you’d never leave her sight.” Kato turns to pull him against his chest and kisses the top of his head. “Can you blame her? You’re really cute.”
“Okay, but that doesn't give her the ri—” Az yelps, wrapping his arms tightly around Kato’s neck as he lifts him up by his thighs. “Sweet shadows, Kato, you can't —”
Kato kisses him to stop the rambling and can feel the second he stops struggling and turns to putty. “I can’t what?” He kisses again and nips Az’s bottom lip. “I can. You’re mine.”
“Yours,” Az whispers breathlessly, but Riley's voice invades Kato’s thoughts to kill the mood.
“Oh please, for the love of Cettia, wait until I'm halfway across Edros before you continue this.”
Kato cackles loudly at her and when Az looks at him like he’s crazy, he realizes he should probably explain what’s so funny. “Sorry. Ri heard all that.” He sets Azrian down and grips his chin. “We’ll pick that up later when Roe runs to the market with Rhix. It’s been a while since we had the house to ourselves.”
“Too long,” Az agrees. He lets out a shaky breath and straightens his tunic, but his face instantly falls. “I doubt she’s going to go until after Ronan’s back from school. I don't think we'll have it to ourselves today, either.”
“Then I’ll just have to take you to the woods,” Kato says loudly enough for Nut and Axis to hear from the porch, and Axis’ huff travels at least a mile.
Nut runs up and sits at their feet, staring up with his hands out. “Rhix sweetbread,” he states as Kato lifts him up as if he hasn’t gained all of his weight back and then some.
Luckily for him, Kato’s craving it too. “You think Rhix can make some sweetbread? For our guests, of course.”
“Yeah, it depends on how late he is. He taught me how to make it though, do you want me to try?” Az asks, reaching up to scratch behind Nut’s ear. “Maybe I'll make his fat free.”
“Is that possible?” Kato looks at Nut and even without being a Cogitare, he’d be able to tell he isn’t pleased. The raccanis snaps at Azrian’s fingers and chitters as he turns away, jumping down and walking back to the porch with an attitude. “Well, he’s mad at you again.” Kato chuckles and takes Az’s hand, pulling him back toward the house.
The grumpiness radiates off of Azrian as they pass Nut in the doorway. “He knows this is my house too, right? I don't get why he hates me so much; I'm trying. Sort of... occasionally.”
“Sort of... occasionally,” Kato mimics with a grin. “He’s fine. He really does love you. Trust me, he can’t lie to me. He’s just a furry shadowhead.”
Az glares at the chubby raccanis one more time before softening. “Fine. I'll get started on that sweetbread.”
AFTER ANOTHER FEW DAYS pass, Kato begins to worry his brothers won’t come. The stress of it triggers yet another nightmare — one where Kato’s a toddler and Melior is yelling about a baby girl. It settles something Kato was beginning to doubt: these are just dreams. They have to be. There’s never been a baby girl at Deadrun. Young children, yes. But a baby? Kato would have known.
“I’m sorry I woke you again.”
Az blinks sleepily. “S’okay, Jellycrai. What happened?”
“I don’t know. It’s kind of fuzzy, but I was at Deadrun again and Melior was angry. I was probably younger than three.” Kato scratches the back of his neck and groans. “Why do I keep dreaming of that place? I want to forget I was ever there.”
There isn't anything but understanding on Azrian’s face as he lays down against his chest. “Trauma’s funny that way. The harder we try to forget, the more it tries to hold on. You can't forget Deadrun for the same reason I no longer allow fires inside the house. Things like that leave scars... and I'm not talking about the ones on our skin.”
“Right. Internal scars. Those always seem to hurt more.” Kato ghosts his fingers up his arm and stares at the ceiling, thinking of how far away Deadrun should be yet how close to the surface it always is.
“Tell me how to help,” Az whispers.
For the first time that morning, Kato smiles. “You do help. Every single day, Azzy.” His thoughts travel back to his brothers, and he wonders what they’re all doing right now. Are they happy? Alive, even? The mere scraps of information he’s gotten over the last year aren’t enough. He wants answers. “Do you think they’re really coming? My brothers?”
“Of course. I don't think Riley would lie, but maybe they're just as nervous as you are. They'll come when they're ready.”
“Yeah... maybe... I wonder if Nut will be nice. He’s been trying to sneak inside now that the weather is cooling down. Does it snow in Embermeadow?”
Azrian’s stubble rubs against Kato’s bare chest. “Yeah, it snows like crazy here. We still have about a month before it starts, but you tell that little shit that I'll fry him if he tries to steal you from me again.”
Kato laughs a little louder than he means to, seeing as the sun hasn’t ev
en peaked over Coldhallow Crest. “He could never replace you. I like the little guy, but not the same way I like you.” He’s still grinning as he rests his eyes, and Azrian’s breathing calms the knots threatening to return to his stomach as he thinks of Aleon and Teagon again. “What if they don’t like me?”
“Then they're wrong,” he says quietly, knowing exactly who Kato means. “I didn't like you at all at first, but things were different with us. You were sort of holding me hostage and ignored me when I tried to tell you it was wrong. Your brothers don't really have a reason not to like you.”
“Technically I wasn’t the one holding you hostage... but yeah, I can see why you blamed me. I didn’t see it back then — I was pretty upset about it, actually — but now I understand. I was stupid. They shouldn’t have been able to lie to me for so long. I didn’t want to see the truth. Thank you for opening my eyes, Az.”
Rhix swears from somewhere beyond their door, but Az simply clears his throat and tries to ignore the fact that the Viribus stayed again. “You helped me a lot too, Kato. I didn't trust Praediti other than Rhix before you, and definitely not Cogitare. We helped each other.”
“Yeah, but—” They hear another noise out there and he sits up with a curious expression, but he doesn’t look into anyone’s mind. Since they arrived back in Embermeadow, he’s been trying really hard to give everyone in his family privacy.
Family. The word is still foreign for Kato, but it also settles something in his chest that he’s long grown used to feeling — emptiness. An emptiness that's finally beginning to fill. “You’re right, Az. You’re always right...”
Just as Kato wonders if the noises outside are loud enough to drown out what he wants to do, Rhix pushes his way into their room with a wild look in his eyes. “Azrian, it's Ronan. He never came home last night.”
2 The Line
“I’m gonna—” Azrian cuts himself off, knowing any threat he throws out will be hypocritical. Ronan is at least half his responsibility; truthfully, he should've checked to make sure he was home before dark. Something about Ronan having Videre abilities has Azrian frequently forgetting he’s still very much an adolescent. “Do you hear him yet?”
They've been walking around town for almost two hours now trying to see if Kato can pick him out of the sea of voices, but so far, they haven't had any luck.
“No.” Kato’s entire body is tense as his long legs take strides so wide Az has to hop every so often to keep up. “If someone hurts him...” The gold in his eyes flashes so brightly, he doesn’t have to finish that sentence. Azrian knows it wouldn’t be pretty.
Their hands fold together as Az struggles to keep up. “Slow down a little. How can you even hear everyone?”
“I can’t. I’m getting voices and none are his. There are three women in that house... two men in that one. This one has children screaming.” His forehead wrinkles as he shakes his head slightly to drown out the kids. They walk in silence for a few more moments before he stops dead in his tracks. “Shh,” he hushes Az, who’s been silent most of the walk. “I hear him.” Kato tugs Azrian to the east, speeding up more than before and when he approaches a small house he stops near the porch. “He’s in there.”
He takes the steps in one leap and when he takes a stance to kick the door, Az dashes forward with a hushed yell to grab his leg. “Stop it,” he whispers harshly, narrowing his eyes at Kato. “You can't go breaking down doors, Jellycrai.” He knocks instead, keeping his other hand on Kato’s broad chest. “Ya big brute.”
Kato relaxes only slightly while they wait for someone to answer the door. Each passing moment makes the Cogitare more anxious, and when the wooden door finally swings, he moves to stand in front of Azrian. “Where’s Ronan?”
“Um... he's in the living room with Miya.”
“A girl?” Azrian says, his voice raising an octave. “And he stayed here last night?”
“Yes. With supervision, of course. He said it wasn’t a problem.” Miya’s mother looks at Kato nervously. “Are you his guardians?”
“Yes.” Kato walks into the house without permission and Azrian follows with a whispered apology. When they enter the living area, Ronan jumps up from the couch with wide eyes.
“Shadows. Az... why does Kato look like he’s going to make me slap myself?”
Surprisingly, Kato huffs a laugh at that. “I should. Or I can make you tell Miya about the daydream you had a few days ago.”
His cheeks turn rosy as he flicks his gray eyes toward Miya. “Please don't,” he mutters, hurrying over to Azrian. “Make him stop, Az.”
“I can't help you,” Az says sternly. “You scared the shadows out of us, and it's not okay to lie to people.” But still, he speaks into Kato’s mind. “Just scare him, don't actually do it.”
Miya’s mother clears her throat softly. “I promise, he was safe here with us. They slept in separate rooms.”
“Kato, I take it back,” Az says out loud when he realizes the alternative. “Do whatever you need to, he's too young for this.”
“The problem is we had no idea where you were. We’ve been walking for hours, searching and hoping you were okay. Why didn’t you tell us?” Kato asks, and from the way Ronan abruptly sits with a thud, it's clear that Kato isn't playing nice anymore.
He looks down, and Azrian recognizes the look of embarrassment and regret. It's a look he's had on his own face more than once, and he tries to remind himself that Ronan’s fourteen now so things like this are going to happen. “Okay,” Az says softly. “Let’s have this conversation at home.” He turns to Miya’s mother and gives her an apologetic smile. “I'm sorry for busting in like this. But in the future, if he tries to stay overnight here, just send him home. We’ll drop him off ourselves if he's allowed to stay.”
When she agrees, the three of them walk quickly out of the house, but Ronan rounds on them the second they're back on the road. “I'm sorry, okay! But sweet stoning Cettia, did you have to come barging in like that?”
“First off,” Azrian starts, “don’t talk about Cettia like that. I learned the hard way she's always listening.”
Kato exhales a deep breath. “And yeah... we did. We thought someone took you! Do you not understand how terrified we were? The thought of someone taking you...” Kato lets a pained expression finish his sentence.
It's hard not to soften when Azrian sees how much Kato cares. Every day, it surprises him a little more, and each of those days brings them a little closer to being a real family. “He's right, Rone. We haven't exactly had a good history with kidnapping, I'm sure you understand.”
“I'm sorry,” Rone rushes out, throwing thin arms around them both and squeezing. “I didn't — I didn't even think—”
They all hold each other for a while, and when they start to walk again, Kato puts an arm around Ronan and pulls him back in. “So a girl, huh?”
“Yeah,” he admits with a blush. “She's awesome. She doesn't even mind my weird eyes.”
Again, Azrian finds himself sympathizing with the young Videre. Most humans have dull-colored eyes to separate them from Praediti, but gray eyes are exceedingly rare in Embermeadow. He involuntarily flashes back to his own experiences going through school with gray irises and finds himself grateful to Miya. “I'd have thought your powers would help. I didn't have mine until long after I was finished with school.”
Azrian knows he isn’t listening to his thoughts, but Kato’s hand tightens in his. “The other kids were shadowheads in Deadrun, too. They called me Defect because of my eyes.” Kato frowns a little at his feet, but it’s gone almost instantly and replaced with a small smile. “I’m glad you don’t mind her being human, Ronan. I’m really proud of you for looking past that.”
The word choice makes Azrian’s stomach drop. He knows Kato doesn't care that he's choosing to be human, knows that Kato doesn't judge anyone based on what they are, but the verbiage reminds him that so many others do. That so, so many Praediti think being human is something that needs to
be overcome.
He loses track of the conversation after that. He's glad Ronan is safe and that they're all back together, but his thoughts have turned completely to the future and what they can do to change the way humans are seen — the way anyone different is seen.
“Go to your room,” Kato commands, pulling Az back to the present. Ronan goes without argument, but his relaxed posture suggests he's going of his own accord, which is a good sign.
When the door closes, Az is surprised to realize they made it all the way back home. “Wow, I really zoned. I'm sorry.”
“It's okay, Azzy. Did I upset you?” Kato grips his chin so he can stare into his eyes, and all of a sudden Azrian forgets what they're even talking about.
He swallows thickly. “What?”
The grin that creeps across Kato's face sends a shiver up Azrian's spine. “We really need some time alone, Azrian.” He steps back and once the fog clears, Az is able to find his train of thought once more.
“You... didn't... upset me,” he finally gets out. “I was just thinking about how far we still have left to go. The Venandi might be in shambles, but with other strongholds out there and so many Praediti that hate humans, it just feels like it's too big. You know? Like no matter what we do, we’ll never be able to fix it all.”
Kato watches him for a few moments before he responds. He can see the wheels turning in that gorgeous giant head, but Az gets a funny feeling in his stomach every time Kato stares at him like this. “No,” he finally says. “I refuse to believe it's too big. It will take time. I won't pretend to be blind to the amount of work it will take, but we will do it. Did you already forget how unstoppable we are together, Az?”
“Of course not,” he replies quietly. “I just... thought we were done, I guess.”
“Come here.” Kato pulls him to the couch and sits down, patting his lap. “I know you want to be done... shadows, I don't blame you. But imagine how you'd feel if Ronan's children grew up in a world where everyone was treated equally. Wouldn't it all be worth it?”
