“Hey, I forgot to ask, did you try again this morning?” she whispered.
That was Dez’s nice way of asking if my worming was still on the fritz. She’d caught me trying to worm earlier in the day. She’d accidentally stumbled into my favorite corner.
“Still not working.”
“It’ll be okay.” She squeezed my hand and didn’t let go as we made our way through the familiar streets.
All those nights I’d lain in bed and thought about this place, and here I was again, knowing I couldn’t stay. It was almost worse to come back and see everything I’d missed. The houses weren’t too big and they weren’t too small. The roads were the perfect width, with just the right amount of trees lining them.
“Hey!” Ruck yelled down from the tower.
“Ryker’s making you work?” I yelled up. That bastard. He’d do anything to screw with me. I’d assumed Ruck would be at the party.
He waved his hand, telling me to calm down. “No. I’m covering a shift tonight for Tommy, who wanted to go check out the party. Don’t leave without saying bye and bringing me some food, okay?”
“I’ll be there.” Probably sooner than he’d expect.
He disappeared to the other side of the tower, and it might’ve crossed my mind to ditch the party altogether and go hang out there. Except that bastard wanted my Ruck, and I’d be making things very clear to him tonight.
Laughter rang out in the distance, mixed with the sound of music. The smell of a roast made my mouth water. Nothing prepared me for when we saw the gathering.
The grove looked like something out of the fairytales I’d read. Fires burned and fairies flew overhead, leaving sparkling trails in their wake. The light bounced off dancing bodies. Bottles were passed around as hundreds of Wyrd Blood mingled and weaved, danced and laughed.
There were familiar faces everywhere. Burn and Sneak stood across the distance mingling. I gave a nod in their direction and received a wave and a smile in return.
I’d make my way over there eventually and give them a formal hello, but not until there was more booze than blood fueling my body. Burn and Sneak were from a lifetime ago, and attached to someone I wasn’t sure I was ready to see. As to him, he wasn’t here. I would’ve felt him already, even mingled with the heady sizzle of magic filling the area.
Dez grabbed my arm, her fingers digging in. “Oh my magic. I haven’t seen him in a decade.”
Him who? I followed her gaze until I landed on a hulking piece of man that Ruck would’ve given his stamp of approval. He’d noticed her as well, and gravity was about to take over.
“Come on, I’ll introduce you,” she said, tugging on me as she let the blond god’s gravity suck her to him.
I wriggled my arm loose. “That’s quite all right. I think this is a meeting meant for two. I’m good here.”
“You sure?” she asked, even as she struggled with the gravitational pull from across the grove.
“Positive. If things get ugly and I need you, you’ll know. We rarely keep our fights quiet.”
She bit her lower lip. She was half turned away from me but not moving.
“Trust me, I’ll be loud enough that you’ll hear me.” I gave her a small shove.
She smiled, and then her feet moved. Knife had already fallen into a small group, mingling.
I circled the place, waving at a few people here and there. Stopping and making small talk with others. Jeanette was on her fifth child, and none of them showing any signs of magic yet. Zane was chasing after a dull who had no interest in him or his ability to see through walls. Moto was forcing himself to eat a spoonful of hollyhoney every day because he swore it was increasing his magic.
By the time I’d made my way back around, an hour or so had passed.
Knife stepped closer.
“You see Ryker yet?” He tilted a bottle he was holding to his lips and then held it out to me.
“Nope. He’ll show eventually. That’ll be soon enough.” I took his offer, letting the liquid burn my throat before handing the bottle back.
“Come on.” He took a few steps toward the mass of dancing bodies, and then turned back, his hand extended.
I held up a hand. “I’m good.”
“No, you’re not. You’re strung worse than a coiled snake about to strike.” He inched forward, wrapping his hand around mine. “Come on. He’s going to show eventually, and you don’t want to be standing here looking like you’re counting down the seconds”—he leaned in with a knowing smile—“even if you are.”
I opened my mouth to deny it. He raised his eyebrows and cleared his throat.
“Fine. We’ll dance.” I let him tug me closer. He had a point. Did I really want to be happened upon standing by myself while I watched everyone else dancing and laughing? No. I wanted to be one of the happy people. I wanted to have fun, and drink and cavort because I didn’t care if this was Ryker’s party or not.
Knife pulled me forward, an arm wrapped around my waist, and spun me into the crowd to the beat of the band.
People passed bottles around while others smoked. Some did nothing, simply enjoying the music and zoning out.
For the first time in my life, I was surrounded by nothing but Wyrd Blood. These were my people. They understood the persecution, the hiding, the fear. They also knew the thrill of magic pouring through you.
Dez sidled up to me, dancing to my right, her blond god beside her. The musicians launched into a new song with a slower rhythm and a bass that reverberated through you. The magic was flowing, commingling in a way that tingled on my flesh. At some point, I stopped becoming a spectator and was pulled into the larger blend of power exuding and mixing all around. If I were a coiled snake, the magic was the charmer, luring me into the moment, the music, the dance. It was headier than the alcohol flowing.
A half-hour—and half a bottle of booze—later, I’d almost forgotten about Ryker. Until I felt him approaching, his magic a magnet for mine. He was much stronger than the rest of the people here combined, except for me and maybe Knife. When he entered the area, he packed a heady punch.
I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed as soon as he’d stepped into the clearing. I caught sight of him as he made his way through the crowd, people parting as he walked. A woman I only knew by face made her way to him, trying to lure him into a dance, her hips signaling an invitation to much more. My blood instantly spiked. This was why I’d left. My feelings had continued to grow into something unhealthy, while his hadn’t grown at all.
He walked past her, shrugging off a hand on his arm as if it had been a gnat. His stare was on me and he was heading our way.
He stopped, watching me. I pulled my gaze away from him. I’d talk to him, but when I decided, not him. I took another swig of liquor and then moved closer to Knife, resting my forearm on his shoulder, moving my hips in time to his. I didn’t look at Ryker again.
I’d known I’d see him here. Had planned to. But I hadn’t been prepared for the pain. The gaping hole in my chest, which had barely scabbed over, was torn again. Months away and it changed nothing. It might as well have been hours.
Knife said something, and from the smile on his face, it might’ve been a joke. I forced out a laugh that was hollow, which echoed in my ears and rattled my hollowed heart. It was for the best this way. Full hearts only led to pain.
I forced my eyes to look anywhere but the spot I’d seen Ryker last, as his magic burned my senses and called to me in a way nothing else in the universe ever had.
Ryker’s presence grew stronger, and I fisted my hand on Knife’s collar. Knife’s gaze was guarded and fixed over my right shoulder. If that wasn’t enough, all the eyes around us were fixed on the same spot.
I stopped pretending Ryker wasn’t right behind me, dropped my grasp on Knife, and turned around to face Ryker.
He was standing there, barely a foot away.
“Do you have a minute? We need to talk.” The hard look of Ryker’s eyes wiped away the softness of the
words.
How many times had I dreamed of him saying we needed to talk? Except in those dreams, he’d shown up at Dorley and begged me to come back. The reality was dismal in comparison.
Not even a single note in six months. Ruck he’d messaged. Not me. If I hadn’t come here tonight, I might never have seen him again.
I could’ve refused. He wouldn’t force me. I knew Ryker enough to know when he’d make an issue and when he’d walk away. Our eyes locked for a few seconds and then he turned and left, giving me the option to follow or not.
I stood still as my heart pounded in my chest, as if it were trying to leave me behind and follow its rightful owner.
I glanced at Knife. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
He nodded, looking as happy as I was.
I made my way toward where Ryker had disappeared down a trail that would lead back to his place. He was still near. I could feel him. A little farther and I could see his form up ahead as he waited for me in the dark.
I didn’t stop until we stood almost toe to toe. His smell, the feel of his magic, all so familiar, called to me like I’d been a long time from home. Why was it that the Cursed King, maybe the most dangerous man to have walked this world, made me want to curl into him? Wrap myself around him?
Why hadn’t all these months away dimmed the need I felt when I was around him? Was I equally cursed? Would I always feel this emptiness gnawing at me, which only he could fill? I’d barely seen him and yet I dreaded leaving. I never should’ve come back here.
He turned on his heel and began walking again.
“I see you’ve settled over at Dorley quite well. Heard you’re in the sweetheart suite.” He punctuated the sentence with a short scoff, in case the sarcasm of his words hadn’t been blunt enough to bludgeon me to death.
“Dorley is an easy place to settle into. I can’t complain about the accommodations, either.” So I wasn’t the only one who’d heard my rooms were typically given to Knife’s current flings. If I had fucked Knife, it was none of Ryker’s business. Just as it was none of mine when he fucked every woman in this place and probably the five countries around it. I’d never say a word to him, even as it shredded me on every level and made me wonder what was wrong with me as I lay in bed at night.
I walked behind him as if every minute with him wasn’t my own personal purgatory of want. My head told me to run from here and never come back. My heart told me to leap into his arms and beg him to want me. Convince him I could be whoever he wanted. Unfortunately, I wasn’t drunk enough to give in to either notion.
We walked the rest of the way in silence. I wondered a few times if I should find some excuse to scurry on back to the party. He’d stop and turn, as if sensing my need to escape. I’d continue to walk forward as if I’d never had the thought.
He opened his door, a dim light burning in the corner of the room. He crossed the distance to it, making it burn slightly brighter, but still dark enough for the shadows to blur together.
I watched his every move, soaking it in. He turned back toward me, his eyes meeting mine as he walked back over, stopping a few feet away.
Ryker’s gaze landed on my face and then my lips. They followed the line of my waist and the curve of my hip before meeting my eyes. He was doing it again, making it seem like he wanted me when he didn’t. Toying with me, making me want something more from him.
We’d had a few moments before we’d merged magic, and then it changed. I didn’t know why, but I was tired of the chase. I was ready to do the running.
As much as I’d wanted to see him, had thought of this grand plan of confronting him about Ruck, if Ryker hadn’t sought me out, I wouldn’t be standing here right now. Pride had driven me to the Valley, but fear had me wanting to leave as soon as I’d arrived.
We stood in his living room, not too far apart but not close enough either. Like always, our relationship was in some sort of murky middle ground that neither of us could quantify, and I didn’t want to be in this place anymore. For the millionth time in minutes, I wished I’d never come. I felt as if my wounds were lying open, my blood gushing out as I wanted to beg this man for mercy when he didn’t know the word.
There was only one thing he knew—war and battle. If I wanted to survive, I needed to fight my way out of here and never come back.
“Why did you ask Ruck to come here? I hope you’re not thinking of trying to get him to stay. He won’t. He’s mine.” Unlike Ryker, Ruck was mine. He was my family, my rock, the one person I could count on, and no one was taking him from me.
“I needed him, but I won’t make him stay.”
He needed Ruck. Not me. Not now that he had his stones. There’d never been anything else between us, and yet I couldn’t turn and walk away.
Deep down inside, hidden in a place I didn’t share with anyone, I’d hoped that maybe when Ryker saw me, he’d finally realize how much he wanted me. It was sad and pathetic and hard to admit. But I stood there, letting him take his sweet time with whatever it was he wanted. That was what kept my feet in one spot. The hope that maybe seeing me would change something for him. It would hit him like a lightning bolt that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
Odds were that wasn’t going to happen, but my feet didn’t budge. I needed to get out of here before more damage was done. “What did you want?”
His eyes narrowed, as if he’d not understood the sudden impatience. “How long do you plan on staying at Dorley? I’ve got leads on other stones.”
Oh yeah, he wanted something. It was a good thing I’d stayed away. Better yet that I was going back. Being here, seeing him—none of this had been a good idea. I’d walked into this place, girding myself to be like those stone statues I’d seen in the ancient temples. If I could be hard as stone, then I’d be okay. But even stone crumbled.
I crossed my arms, turning slightly away from him and looking at the door. After tonight, I wouldn’t come back here, no matter what. “Send me a message when you know where they are. I’ll go get them. I’ll keep every other one I get. That’s the deal.”
I was done with this inequitable distribution. This was business. I didn’t need him anymore. No reason he should get them all.
“You can’t go alone.”
“I won’t. Knife will back me up.” He’d be happy to if he got a stake in my share of the stones.
After tonight, it was clear what this was. This would be the last time I had any stupid delusions of something happening between us, any romantic notions that Ryker really did want me. That he could ever fall in love with me.
“Was that it? I want to get back to the party.” I wanted to get back to Dorley, away from this man that crushed me. When he didn’t say anything, I walked to the door, slower than I should’ve. If I had any common sense, I would run from there, but my heart was still reaching back to him, arms outstretched, begging me to stay. Pleading with him to want me.
I was nearly to the door when he said, “Bugs…hold up.”
I turned. Give me something. Anything I could cling to. It would be so easy to stay. I wanted to stay. I’d never wanted anything more. He walked out of the room, and I waited.
He walked back in and tossed something at me. I caught it before I saw what it was. The second my fingers closed around it, I felt the hum of its magic.
“That’s the largest. Its mass roughly equals the same amount I have. That should settle us up.”
My chin dropped. My eyes watered. My heart sputtered.
I looked at him, forcing everything warm and soft in me to ice over and freeze. I gripped the stone in my hands and nodded.
Then I did the only thing left to do: I walked out of his place, away from him with a confidence that was all show. I kept my back straight and leashed my emotions until I got well away from him.
Ten
I stepped outside and walked to the right. Left would’ve brought me back to drunken revelry, and there was no part of me that would be able to blend in with that crowd at the m
oment. I could go see Ruck, but he’d take one look at me and immediately question what was wrong. I’d rather have my tongue cut out than talk.
Instead, I walked the streets of the Valley alone, saying goodbye to this place like I hadn’t done when I’d left for Dorley. When I left six months ago, part of me had at least suspected I’d be back, or hoped. This time was much different. I’d never set foot here again if I could help it. I never should’ve returned in the first place. It was idiotic to think it would be a good idea, or even a mediocre one.
At least I could say goodbye in peace, since the streets were empty. Any Wyrd Blood would still be at the grove. Any dull would be asleep, and I had no delusions of Ryker chasing after me this time.
There were memories everywhere. The shower building, where they wouldn’t give you a bar of soap if you were even a day early for your ration. No one cared if your buddy Ruck had lost his and you’d been sharing for a week. Somehow, that made me smile now.
The food building appeared around the bend, and I could almost smell flaky biscuits covered in butter. The first time I’d walked in the place, I was shocked at all the heaping piles of food laid out for anyone to take. I’d had to fight the urge to pocket more than my stomach could hold, and usually lost. I ran a hand over the closed door, knowing I’d never eat there again.
An autumn breeze blew through the brilliant purple leaves of the Harlow trees with their strong floral scent. That smell alone made my stomach grumble, as if it signaled the feast to come.
It was followed by another smell that brought my arm to my nose. It was like I’d been walking through a clean, crisp forest and then been plunged into a smelly bog.
I recognized its greasy foulness as it settled over me. It was the same smell I’d noticed at Dorley, but stronger. This time, I knew it wasn’t just a scent on the air, but the smell of something wrong nearby. I could feel it with my magic.
Blood Binds: Wyrd Blood Book Three Page 5
