More than anything, I needed something good and beautiful to think on, a lifeline in the dark.
“Switch has the softest hair. When I sleep next to him and it fans out on the pillow, I rest my head on it. I feel like I’m surrounded by kittens.” He smiled, as the thought of it flooded him. “Your turn.”
My answer was instant and surprising to even me. “Ryker cuddles.”
“You mean, like hugging and stuff after it’s over?” Ruck asked, as if he couldn’t merge the two.
“Yes.” I laughed at the shock on his face.
“Wow. He didn’t strike me as the type.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, as if I could feel Ryker with me. “When he does, I feel like nothing could ever hurt me. Like he’d protect me from anything.” I shrugged, wishing I’d picked something else. Hearing it aloud made it seem more ridiculous than it had in my head.
“I can see that.”
“You can?”
“Yeah. The day you left for Dorley, he came to the tower and yelled up that I had to get my ass down from there right this second. I nearly jumped half the way, because when Ryker’s in a mood, you sort of do that. He said, ‘You’re leaving with Bugs today.’ I told him I didn’t have a replacement for my shift. He said, ‘I don’t give a fuck. Your girl’s upset. Get your ass moving.’
“This thing with you two might never work out, but I don’t doubt for a second he’d protect you if he could.”
I dropped my head, biting my lip. “Thanks, Ruck. I needed that today.”
Thirty-Four
Ryker looked at the clock on his wall. Burn and Sneak were hogging the couch, and I was sitting on the table.
Ryker walked to the open door. “Where the fuck is Switch? We were supposed to leave for Durroker twenty minutes ago.”
“I’ll go get him.” Fetching Switch was better than telling Ryker what I thought was holding him up.
“He’s at Ruck’s again?”
“I don’t know. Figured I’d try a few places.” I’d try Ruck’s first, though, because I’d heard the noises when I walked by a few hours ago. Still, it was only a guess.
I ducked out and jogged over.
They were definitely still going at it when I knocked.
“Switch? You ready? Everyone is waiting.” I used to barge in, but not these days. Ruck and Switch went at it like rabbits, and creative ones.
Someone said, “Oh shit,” on the other side of the door.
“I’m coming!” Switch yelled.
I leaned a shoulder against the building as they rustled around inside. Switch stepped out with hair sticking every which way and a shirt that was leaning to the left.
“Bugs, swing by after you’re done,” Ruck said from inside, where he was flopped on the bed.
“See you in a bit.”
Switch was running his fingers through his hair, trying to flatten it, as he rushed toward Ryker’s. “I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”
“Don’t worry. You’re not that late.” I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and tugged it down, evening him out.
Three stares were leveled on him as we walked up.
“They look cranky,” he said as we got closer.
“They always look cranky,” I said. “Okay, we’re all here, so let’s get going.”
We formed a circle and then we were off.
I had one hand wrapped around Ryker’s and one around Switch’s.
Suddenly I was alone, crashing to the ground.
“Dammit and magic, Switch!” I yelled, knowing he wasn’t there to hear. He’d dropped me off in the middle of nowhere, again. I’d been juicing him, too. Where’d he drop everyone else? What a clusterfuck.
I got up and dusted off my bruised butt and then patted the pocket I kept the stone in. It was empty. It must’ve dropped out during the fall.
I scanned the ground, looking for it. It had to be here. Dammit. I was going to kill Switch when I got to him.
I froze as the smell hit me, that rotting, putrid smell that made me want to dry-heave and run. It was here.
I scrambled around on the ground. I needed to find that stone, and now. I saw a glint a hundred yards away and made a dash for it.
Then I stopped short as Asterol appeared in front of it. He picked it up and held it in front of him. The stone glinted in the sun, looking as if it were exploding. The sparks that shot off absorbed into its skin. It opened its arms, its chest expanding, and stretched as if it had eaten a good meal.
Then it turned its attention on me. “Chiara.”
This wasn’t a mistake or Switch’s fault at all. The first time I’d dropped, I’d ended up near a magical stone. This time, I ended up here, with it. This thing had broken my connection with Switch, and he’d done it again, now.
“You’re the one that made Switch drop me.”
It bent its large body forward until its face was a foot away. Its upper body rested on its knuckles. “Give up, Chiara. You’re not strong enough to fight me. You’re not strong enough to win.”
“What are you?”
Its form broke from the beast until my mother was standing before me. “I’m whatever you need. Whatever you want, if you’d only let me in. Give me what I need.”
The voice sounded exactly like hers, the hair and skin as if she were the same age as the last time I’d seen her.
I stumbled backward.
Ryker stood in front of me. But it wasn’t him. The true Ryker wasn’t here. “Is this better? Is this what you need? Will you let me in now? I could be everything he isn’t. I want you like he never will. I’ll never leave you. We’ll be together for eternity.” It continued forward, its hand outstretched to me.
I jerked back. “You’re not him.”
“Does it matter if I look like him, sound like him?” It reached out and brushed its fingers over the flesh of my cheek. “Feel like him? I want you, not like the rest of them. Your parents threw you away. He turns from you. Ruck has someone else. Marra betrayed you. But me, I’d be all yours. I’d be the one that never left you. After all, we’re the same.”
I recoiled, clinging to what Ryker had said about most magic coming from the Black Abyss, not just mine. But I was nothing like this creature.
“No we aren’t.”
“We need to be one. He’ll never want you now. You have to know that. You’re different. You’re like me.”
“No, I’m not.” It would say anything to break me. I knew that. It wanted me, and once it had me, it would get Ryker.
“You hold my magic, so much of it, and with my help, we can get it all. You’re special, Chiara. Don’t make me hurt you.”
A tickle of pain started, flaring across my skin. I stumbled to the ground as the pressure began, and the agony would follow. This time I didn’t have a stone to help me, and no one would be getting me help.
This time I’d break, he’d take everything I had, or I’d die.
The pressure built and nothing I did relieved the pain, as if I were being stabbed from every direction. He was going to break me, find his way in. I could feel his magic snaking into me through sheer pressure. I opened my eyes, trying to find a weapon to end my life with. I couldn’t beat him, but I could stop him from getting Ryker.
“Bugs!”
I heard Ryker’s faint shout in the distance and knew this was really him. I could feel his magic reaching out to me. I searched the horizon for him. Ryker was trying to get to me, but it looked like he was fighting against a wind I couldn’t see or feel.
Asterol’s arm rose, and Ryker was flung even farther away. I saw him try to get up before he was lifted and tossed yet again.
A blast of magic surged within me. It was Ryker’s. He’d given me all that he could, all he had left, and all he’d done was seal his fate. I was going to lose. Asterol would find his way in, break me, and then kill Ryker as he lay weakened.
The pressure increased, and with every push, I felt its magic claw closer to that special spot within me.
> This was it. I was going to break.
I could feel Ryker’s magic pulsing inside me, mixed with my own. If I had Ryker’s magic, why couldn’t I wield it the way he did? If I could break any ward, why couldn’t I break through the force Asterol was pressing down on me? It said the same magic pulsed through us both. If it could block me from worming, why couldn’t I do the same to it?
As if it sensed what was going on in my mind, another wave of magic blasted everything from me but pain. I gasped, trying to hold on. I hugged my knees to my chest, my eyes watering. I rolled onto my side, feeling as if I were in a vise that was crushing everything I was.
Two spots appeared high above. Then there was only one. Switch had just dropped Knife out of the sky.
His magic waned for a second, as if he sensed the coming attack.
“I’ll do it if you promise not to hurt Ryker,” I said to Asterol, trying to keep its attention on me. I only needed a second before Knife dropped down on upon it.
Its full attention swung to me again. Before it said anything, Knife landed on the monster in a blur of movement. Asterol screamed in agony as slices appeared everywhere across its body. Asterol howled in pain as more slices appeared, but none of them were deep enough. The damage was widespread, but there were no killing blows.
Willing myself to find the strength, I got to my hands and knees as Asterol ripped Knife from its back. It snapped Knife’s body in two before dropping him to the ground like a discarded rag doll.
Black blood oozed from all over Asterol’s body, and it wobbled on its feet.
Knife’s eyes were glazed, blood coming from his mouth. I heard him whisper, “Kill the bastard.”
As if he’d been hovering nearby, Switch was there and gone in a second, and so was Knife.
Asterol was unsteady, but quickly regaining its strength. If it disappeared this time, I might never have another chance. I had one shot at this. I needed to be close. To touch him, even. This had to work.
But it was injured. Would it let me close now? I turned, ignoring its presence as I stared at Ryker’s lifeless form.
I fell to my knees, praying I could pull this off.
“He’s dead,” I said, letting the tears fall freely. It wasn’t all an act. Ryker wasn’t yet, but he might be soon. So might Knife. I couldn’t let them go unavenged.
I folded in on myself, slouching forward, broken.
“I have nothing left.” I looked up at Asterol as the tears continued to flow. “Can you show me him whole one last time?”
It hesitated, and I dropped my gaze to the ground, letting the sorrow of failure soak into me. If I couldn’t do this, Ryker would be dead.
“I can be him if that is what you desire.”
I looked up. Ryker stood, healthy, in front of me. It was a mirage, but maybe the last time I’d see Ryker whole.
I reached a hand out to it, and it walked forward.
Its fingers wrapped around mine. I felt the ragged hide of what I was really holding. I saw the black tar substance that dripped from the illusion.
Eyes closed, I dropped as much of the protective ward around myself as I could. Nothing could be between us. One shot at this. That was it.
With my magic and every drop of Ryker’s flowing through me, I reached inward. I couldn’t use his magic like it was my own—I had to use it the way it was meant to be wielded. I went to that dark place I’d sensed, and this time I didn’t only dip my toes into the abyss—I flung myself into its mercy and hoped I didn’t take out the rest of humanity.
Ryker’s dark magic filled me like nothing I’d ever encountered. My magic had always felt like it wanted to curl around me, protect me. This magic felt as if it wanted to strike out. Fear battled with need. I knew I could kill everything around me, including Ryker. If I didn’t, we were dead anyway.
I let it surge out of me like the wild beast it was, unleashed in Asterol’s direction. I blasted it, and it struggled, pulling back from me with immense power. I clung with a tenacity born of desperation and grief.
It switched to the offense, battering me with its magic. I held on, wrapping both hands around it, unleashing everything I had, everything Ryker had given me, and then pulling for more, hoping it wouldn’t be the final blow that killed Ryker in the process.
Asterol dropped, shaking the ground beneath me as I became the Cursed Queen, walking death. A blast of heat hit me, sending me sprawling backward and feeling like it settled into my soul. As if part of Asterol’s essence had become one with mine.
I fell to the ground, nothing left.
Asterol lay dead. It was a sight I would’ve stared at for hours if it weren’t for the puddle of blood beside it belonging to Knife. If it weren’t for Ryker’s body lying nearby.
I crawled most of the way over to Ryker, who lay all too still, and pressed my ear against him. A strong beat thumped below. I collapsed beside him, my cheek pressed to his chest.
* * *
My lids parted slowly, and a hand smoothed the hair back from my face. A fire’s heat soothed me as I was lying on my side, covered in Ryker’s jacket.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
I sat up, wrapping his jacket more firmly around my shoulders. That strange sensation I’d had right after I killed Asterol was still there, as if a part of it had been injected into me.
“Okay. When I killed it, I was able to use your magic. Something strange happened. I feel…”
It was a hard thing to put a name to.
“Fuller?” he asked.
“Yeah. Full. Is it going to go away?” I searched his somber face, hoping he’d tell me this was something that went away.
“No, but you’ll get used to it.”
My gaze went to the spot where Asterol had been, a strange smoke billowing up from the area. “Where’s its body?”
“It’s been slowly shrinking for the last few hours. There’s nearly nothing left now but a stain.”
There’d be more than one. The puddle of Knife’s blood would be right beside it.
“Knife was here.”
Ryker didn’t respond right way as he pushed some of the logs around. “I know. Switch told me he was going back for him after he left me. I saw the human blood beside the body and figured as much.”
“Switch popped back in and took Knife away again. There’s still a chance.” If Switch had gotten him to the healer in time, I knew the magic that woman could wield. It was possible Knife was alive.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
“After Switch lost you, the rest of us got scattered. It took him a while to find me. Then longer to find where you were.”
“You guys look like shit,” Burn said as he appeared on the other side of the fire with Switch.
“Could you have taken a little longer?” Ryker asked, getting to his feet slower than he normally would.
“Not my fault.” Burn gave Switch a nudge with his elbow. “Switch refused to leave until he found the healer for Knife.”
Burn’s gaze lingered on Switch, and the smile dropped.
“Is he okay?” I asked, fearing the worst but still clinging to hope.
Switch caught my stare and shook his head. “It was too late.”
An ache opened up in my chest. Another death, another loss. But it was finally over.
“I’m sorry, Switch. I know you had your problems, but you were with Knife a long time.”
“He wasn’t a bad guy,” Switch said.
How many times had I said the same?
“So that thing is dead, huh? It let you close?” Burn asked Ryker.
“Not me—Bugs,” Ryker said.
“Well, I’ll be. Didn’t know you had it in you,” Burn said with a smile.
“Honestly, neither did I.” When you see the person you love and know they’re going to die if you don’t do something, it’s amazing the things you can pull off.
“Let’s go home,” Ryker said. He reached out and pulled me to my feet.
Thirt
y-Five
Two burials, less than twelve hours apart, and as different as night and day.
I sat on a hill in the grove of souls beside Ruck and Switch, watching Knife get laid to rest. Hundreds of people flooded in to pay their respects.
Marra’s burial was earlier this morning. Only Ruck, Switch, Ryker, and myself had been there to see it. Not even her new friends had shown. The fairies had made it clear that she wasn’t welcomed in the grove, so she’d been placed in a grave outside the perimeters of the Valley, a sunny spot on top of a hill. Ruck and Switch had carried over a boulder to mark her grave.
Those same fairies circled Knife’s tree now, singing their song of passing and helping him transition.
“I’m glad he’s here, but I would’ve thought he’d want to be laid to rest at Dorley,” I said.
Switch leaned forward so he could see me on the other side of Ruck. “Knife wanted to be buried beside Dez. It was the last thing he asked for before he died.”
Switch looked at me with a knowing eye, and I realized how stupid I’d been. Tears filled my eyes, then overflowed to my cheeks. How could I not have known?
“You knew,” I said to Switch.
Switch nodded. He looked down and then leaned his head on Ruck’s shoulder.
“Knew what?” Ruck grabbed my hand. “You all right?”
I shook my head. “I’m so stupid. Before I went back to Dorley, Dez had told me she’d been in love, but the man hadn’t loved her back. She was wrong. Knife just hadn’t realized it until she was gone.”
Ruck’s face fell. “Fuck. That’s some heavy shit.”
I dropped my head on Ruck’s other shoulder. “She only told me because she was trying to help me. She knew firsthand how hard it was to live like that.”
People were still moving around below us, and I saw Ryker glance up again to where we sat, watching the procession.
“So now what? We staying, or you still want to leave?” Ruck asked.
“I think I’ll follow her advice. This time, though, I’ll really move on,” I said.
Ryker’s stare was on me, as if he knew what I was planning. He couldn’t, but it sure felt that way.
Blood Binds: Wyrd Blood Book Three Page 21
