by Sue MacKay
Kayla closed her eyes as cold filled her. Cold from the snow, from the fear, from—‘I thought I was dying.’ Her eyes flew open and she stared directly at Jamie. ‘Didn’t I?’
‘Yes, you did for a moment.’
She’d held his hand and everything fell back into place. Another squirm. He’d been there for her and she’d taken it to heart. He was her rescuer, not a man to get wound up about. She started talking to shut down her disappointment. ‘I used to be a competitive skier and looked forward to lots of time on the local ski fields.’
‘Then one bit you on the backside.’
‘It’s been a few years since I’ve done any serious skiing so I probably shouldn’t have gone off the main field.’ She couldn’t stop watching him, held there by a feeling of hope that came with that smile. Hope that she didn’t want to acknowledge. ‘When my companions suggested giving the more difficult slope a crack I couldn’t resist. It never crossed my mind that there would be an avalanche. But, then, when does nature send out a memo that it’s about to disrupt things?’
Talking too much, Kayla.
‘You’re quite athletic when your legs aren’t letting you down?’
Relax.
He was going with the easy option, not about to grill her about the past. ‘I run a lot. Used to hike in the hills when I lived in Queenstown before. I hope to get back to that. I’m an outdoor girl through and through.’ There were endless numbers of walking tracks in the district and she couldn’t wait to put a pack on her back and get out there. ‘You’re into rescues so does that mean you like hiking in the hills?’ Still talking too much. Dragging her eyes away from that strong face, she drew in oxygen and uncurled her fingers.
‘When I get time. I like nothing better than a night in a hut in the middle of nowhere, just me and a cold beer, a steak on the fire, and the birds for company. And the mates I go with, of course.’
They had something in common. Her mood lightened a little. ‘So you’re not a two-minute-noodle hiker?’ Many people took instant food packages to save weight in their packs and time cooking over a fire. She always took meat. ‘Nothing like the smoky flavour of steak at the end of a hard grunt getting to the hut.’
‘I agree. Sometimes I take my sons overnight to a hut that’s easy to get to. They enjoy being out in the bush, until they start thinking about ghosts lurking behind the trees.’ Jamie suddenly looked shocked and glanced at his watch before standing up. ‘I’d better get going. My boys will be waiting at the school gate if I don’t get a move on, and then I’ll be in trouble.’ For the first time there wasn’t a smile to be seen.
He hadn’t intended to mention he had children? Was he being dishonest by wanting to hide the fact he wasn’t alone? Or was there more to his story? ‘How old are your boys?’
‘Six and seven.’ His gaze was fixed on her. ‘They keep me busy.’
No mention of a wife or the boys’ mother. ‘Are you a solo dad?’ If she didn’t ask she wouldn’t know. Did she need to know? No. Did she want to? Yes. Why? Because he interested her, touched her, in ways she wasn’t ready for. She shouldn’t have asked, because nothing was happening between them. Especially if he already had a family.
‘My ex-wife and I share raising them fortnight about, though that’s not fixed in concrete with my hours and Leanne sometimes travelling for her work.’ He turned towards the door.
There was more to this story. She felt it in the sudden flattening of his voice, the way he rubbed his thumb over the fingertips of his left hand. She understood his need to keep things to himself. Another thing they had in common. ‘Jamie.’ She hesitated, waiting for him to look back at her. ‘Thanks for calling in. I do appreciate it.’ When she was being honest with herself.
‘I’ll keep in touch and let you know when I’m up and about.’ He’d probably only been doing his job as second in command at the rescue unit, but he’d broken the boring moments of her day and for that she was grateful. Though not so grateful for him waking her up in unexpected ways. Finding a man who lit her lights was not meant to happen.
‘Take care and get back on those feet ASAP, okay?’ His smile was back, not as large or enticing, but it was there.
And just as warming—if she allowed it. Why was it getting harder to ignore this sense of finding something that had been missing for a long time? These feelings scared her. She knew too well how it could all go wrong in an instant. But it seemed she couldn’t help herself. ‘I’ll do that.’ She even managed a small smile of her own.
‘Bye.’ He was gone.
Leaving her with a sudden sense that he wouldn’t be back to see her again. Leaving her feeling flat, let down, and very, very confused. She bashed her pillow with her fist. What a stuff-up.
CHAPTER TWO
‘MALLORY, TAKE ME with you,’ Kayla begged her friend. ‘I’m going spare, doing nothing.’ Two months of sitting around feeling useless had driven her insane.
‘It’s a training event in the hills. You’re on crutches. It won’t work for you or anyone else.’
‘I can observe.’ Sitting on her backside in the hills would be a great change from her couch. No doubt she’d be on her own most of the time but breathing fresh air and listening to the birds was way better than sitting in her lounge, which she was heartily sick of.
Mallory grinned. ‘You always were stubborn. I’ll check if it’s okay with Zac.’
Zac was a cop and head of the local search and rescue teams. He’d visited her a couple of times since she’d returned home from hospital, always cheerful and telling her stories of rescues in an attempt to get her interested in joining. He needn’t have tried so hard as she fully intended to, but she enjoyed his company so had let him tell his stories.
* * *
An hour later they pulled into the grass parking area where a group of search and rescue members were milling around something on the ground. Something or someone? ‘Trouble already?’ she mused, reaching for her crutches as Mallory braked.
‘I’ll go find out.’
‘Not without me.’ Kayla had her door open and the crutches under her arms to heave herself upright.
‘Mallory, bring Kayla over here, will you?’ Zac called out. ‘Robyn’s down.’
Swinging her crutches, Kayla made good time, ignoring the jabs of pain whenever she hit uneven ground. ‘What happened?’ She looked down at the young woman sprawled on her back.
Jamie looked up from where he crouched beside Robyn and stole the breath from her lungs. Those dark brown eyes had held her attention on the mountain, and then again in the hospital, demanding she stay with him. She’d never forgotten the depth of concern shining out at her. Today his eyes appeared to be smiling. ‘Hello, you. Robyn was running over the ground, got her foot caught in a hole and tripped. Her left knee’s painful and her leg’s at an odd angle.’
Kayla smiled back. ‘Hi, Jamie.’ Then she looked at Robyn. ‘Hello, I’m Kayla, a paramedic.’ How was she going to get down to examine her? Face plant, then lie on the ground and push up on her elbows?
Robyn grimaced. ‘I’m such an idiot. Wasn’t looking where I was going.’
‘We’ve all done that.’ Kayla glanced at Jamie, and sucked air. How had she forgotten how he made her feel different? Real, alive, ready to take on anything. Except fall in love. That was too risky.
He was watching her, that unnerving smile knocking her hard. ‘Tell me what to do from up there.’
Hold me? Take my hand? A fast tapping started up under her ribs. What was it about this guy? Whatever it was, now was not the time to be distracted so she focused on what was necessary, not desirable. ‘First, Robyn, tell us where the pain is.’
‘All around my knee.’
‘Not your ankle?’
‘A little, nothing like my knee though.’
‘Jamie, can you take the lower part of that trouser leg off?’ The trouse
rs were designed to become shorts whenever the wearer wanted. ‘Then roll the top half above the knee.’
‘Sorry if I hurt you, Robyn.’ Jamie carefully unzipped the lower half and then tug it down to her ankle. ‘All right to remove her boot?’ His eyes sought Kayla’s.
‘Since there’s little pain, yes, but look for swelling. She might’ve sprained her ankle.’ Kayla stood near Jamie. Watching those large, deft hands untie the laces and begin to slide the boot off, her skin felt as though light air was brushing across it, teasing her, drying her mouth. ‘Don’t tug or you’ll pull the whole leg.’
One eyebrow rose as Jamie glanced up at her. ‘Sure.’ Then he nodded at Robyn’s exposed knee. ‘What do you think?’
‘It’s at an odd angle.’ The patella wasn’t straight. ‘Robyn, Jamie’s going to touch your knee and see if he can find anything out of order. Is that all right?’
‘It’s fine. Have you got any painkillers handy?’
Kayla looked around for her friend. ‘Mallory, can you grab some tablets out of my bag?’ There were plenty there for when her fractures got too much to cope with, and she knew they were all right to give to this woman.
‘Sure.’ Mallory was already heading to her car.
‘Robyn, did you stand up after you fell?’
‘I tried to but my knee gave way under me. It was excruciating.’
‘Jamie, can you place your fingers on the kneecap, like this.’ She held her hand out, fingers wide. ‘Gently try moving it to the left then the right.’ She watched closely. ‘It’s moving.’
‘Very little resistance,’ he agreed. ‘Dislocated?’
‘I think so. Robyn, have you ever put your knee out before?’
‘No. Is it serious?’
‘You’ll need some time on crutches and not overdo it with exercise, but dislocations come right fairly quickly. But it’s something you’ll have to be careful of for years to come. It’s not uncommon in younger people, especially females for some reason.’
‘What do we do now?’ Jamie asked. ‘There’s a medical kit in Zac’s ute.’
Kayla looked for Zac. ‘Can we have the pack? I’m presuming there are crêpe bandages to wrap around the knee so when Robyn’s being transferred to a vehicle for the ride back to town it won’t swing and cause more pain.’
‘Onto it. I’ll bring the ute alongside.’
When he had the bandage in hand, Jamie asked Kayla, ‘How tight? I’m thinking it has to be firm without causing too much pressure.’
‘Exactly. You should be able to slide a finger—’ though his were larger than most ‘—underneath when you’ve finished and feel it holding in place.’
He stared at his hand and smiled. ‘Guess I’ve got some leeway, then.’
A jolt of pure lust hit Kayla. That hand, that smile. Did it to her every time. Unsettled her. Wobbled her carefully held-together equilibrium. Thank goodness for the crutches keeping her upright. Her head felt light, like it was floating. She’d felt the same on the mountain that day but then it had been caused by concussion. She hadn’t taken a hit since then, but it felt like it.
Watching Jamie wind the bandage around Robyn’s dislocated knee, she held her breath, absorbed in the confidence he showed, and the gentleness. He was a force to be reckoned with, if she let him. She wouldn’t, though. Too risky. Anyway, what if he wanted more kids? Chances were she couldn’t have any. Two miscarriages made her think that. Then again, he might think two children were enough and she’d love to have her own if at all possible.
He stood up and locked those eyes on her, reminding her why she was here. ‘All done. We make a good team, even if I did do all the work.’
Lifting one crutch, she made to jab him in the backside. She stopped. He might get the wrong idea. His boot was more appropriate. ‘You’ll keep.’ Now, there was a thought. Could she spend time getting to know the man who’d managed to stir her blood with a smile? Not likely. She’d lost too much in her life already and wasn’t prepared to risk it happening again. Confusion clouded her thinking. Now what?
‘I’ll hitch a ride back to town in the ambulance. There’s nothing much I can do out here, and I’ve had a break from my four walls.’ Coward. Totally. Or another way of putting it, she was trying to save herself from more drama. Not that Jamie had made any advances, nor did she expect him to. But he gave her such a jolt of longing for all the things she’d persuaded herself weren’t for her again that she had to get away.
‘You could work alongside Zac, co-ordinating the practise rescue. You won’t need to be walking for that. We’ve still got a man out there, waiting to be “found”,’ Jamie told her.
Glancing over at Zac, she could see how organised he was, and unlikely to need her hanging off every word. And when the rescue was over everyone would likely go to the pub for a beer, no doubt including Jamie. Looking at him, a longing for family and love again filled her. He had children. Did he want a loving partner too? Was she ready for all that? Would it be enough?
‘Kayla?’ It had been said like he had when trying to get her attention on the mountain. Wake up, it said. Focus. Concentrate.
‘I’ll go back with Robyn.’ Running away from a jolt to her system? From a man who hadn’t encouraged her about anything more personal than working together to help a woman who’d dislocated her knee? ‘I’ll catch up with everyone later in the pub and hear how the training went down. Hopefully better than it started out.’
‘See you then.’ Jamie strode away to join the team.
‘Like him?’ Mallory asked from behind her.
Kayla spun around, and gasped as her legs protested. ‘How long were you standing there?’
‘Long enough.’ Her friend grinned. ‘Don’t go pointing the bone at me. I only want you to be happy.’
‘Just because you’re bursting with love for Josue.’ Mallory deserved to be happy.
So do I.
But she’d take it slowly, make friends before anything else.
* * *
‘You okay sitting here?’ Kayla asked Robyn as they settled at a table in the pub where the S and R guys were relaxing after what had turned out to be a gruelling hike in the hills, looking for their ‘lost’ colleague.
‘Perfect.’ When Zac had turned up at the emergency department he’d offered to drop Kayla at the pub and take Robyn home, but Robyn had insisted on going with her after the doctor had dealt with her dislocated knee. ‘I’m loaded with painkillers and can’t feel a thing. Guess sparkling water is my drink today.’
‘I’ll get that,’ Jamie said from the other side of the room. ‘Kayla, what would you like?’
‘A lager, thanks.’
And time sitting yacking with you.
It wouldn’t happen, though, as everyone was pulling up chairs and cramming around the table, all talking at once. Kayla sank into the warm vibes coming off the hyped-up group. It was great being a part of the team, feeling she belonged despite not having spent much time with S and R yet.
‘Here.’ Jamie placed her beer on the table and handed Robyn her water before pulling up a chair between them. ‘You stayed with Robyn at the hospital?’
She nodded. ‘It was a way of filling in time till you all came out of the bush.’ And her empty house had not been tempting. ‘Her boyfriend’s going to pick her up when he finishes work at six.’ Why was her skin tightening? Because Jamie was so close? Because she’d been thinking about him a lot and he was here for real?
‘How are you getting home?’ He nodded at her crutches. ‘You’re not up to driving yet surely?’
‘Not even I would drive like this.’ How would she get home? Her eyes met Mallory’s on the other side of the table. ‘Mal?’
‘Jamie can give you a lift.’
Thanks, friend.
They lived four houses apart. Jamie would see through that in a flash. ‘My jerse
y’s in your car.’ Why was she protesting when there was a longing to have some one-on-one time with a person not mixed up in her life tripping through her?
Jamie cut that idea down. ‘I’m not staying long. I have to pick up the boys from their mother’s.’
Of course. His family. Drawing a breath, she turned to him with an attempt at a smile. ‘That’s fine. I’m not stuck for a ride.’
‘Good.’ He drained his stubbie and stood. ‘I’d better get going.’
She got the message. He didn’t want to spend time with her. Hadn’t he sat beside her? Bought her a drink? ‘You’ve got the boys for the next fortnight?’
‘Yes.’
Okay, so he was making his point. Don’t talk, don’t get cosy. So why had he been friendly in the first place? ‘See you around.’ Two could play that game. It was a timely reminder she wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone.
‘Maybe at the next meeting?’ he asked, then looked confused.
‘I hope so.’ She meant it, despite knowing she shouldn’t. He did intrigue her with his no-nonsense attitude and obvious need to look out for his boys. She wasn’t only thinking about his build and muscles and cheeky smile. They would make good friends. Didn’t have to get seriously close. She could remain safe and steady—if only the fluttering didn’t start up whenever he was near.
* * *
Jamie strode out to his truck, cursing under his breath that he couldn’t stay.
Kayla had a way about her that set him wondering what she’d be like in bed, did she prefer steak or fish, was she moving on from her husband’s death? He wanted her and he didn’t. He could not have her. It would be too risky. He might fall in love and that must not happen.
Leanne had been his soul mate and she had still walked away, which told him not to trust another woman with his heart or his boys’. They’d grabbed the chance to be happy together yet it hadn’t been enough. She couldn’t say why she’d begun falling out of love with him, only that the day Ryder had gone to hospital and he’d been unavailable had been the last nail in the coffin.
