by Harlow James
I see the reservation in her eyes, the tremble of her lips as she contemplates my words.
“It’s now or never, Javi. I won’t do this again.”
I shake my head, preparing to correct her. “No, Sydney. It’s not now or never. It’s forever.”
“Forever?” she asks with a hopeful gaze, resting her head on her knees.
“Yes. I want forever with you.”
“You love me, don’t you, Javi?” Her smile builds and I can feel my lips do the same.
“Guilty as charged, Princess.”
She jumps across the couch into my arms and crashes her lips into mine, sealing our promise with a kiss that makes me dizzy and desperate for her. As we get more comfortable and Sydney straddles my lap, I give her the most intense kiss of her life. I show her that she’s the one I crave, the only woman who has ever made me feel worthy of anything—but most importantly, love.
“I love you, Javier Montes.”
“God, I love you, Sydney Matthews. It’s so strange to say that, but fuck, it feels so right.”
She chuckles and then kisses me once more, slower this time as we run our hands all over each other, savoring the feeling of being back in each other’s arms.
“I’ve been miserable without you,” I mumble against her lips before she leans back and looks at me.
“Then why didn’t you come to me sooner?”
“The longer I waited, the longer I couldn’t come up with a valid reason for staying away. Then I just became so fucking angry at myself, the last thing I wanted to do was show you that side of me while trying to reconcile with you.”
She holds my face in her hands as ours eyes move together. “I want every part of you, Javi. Don’t you get that? I know that when you’re angry about something, it’s because you care. I know when you’re intense, it’s because you have so much passion running through your veins, you feel like a rubber band about to snap. And when you’re scared, I know you really just need me to remind you that everything will be alright as long as we’re together.”
“Fuck. How do I deserve you? How can you be such an incredible woman and want me? I feel like I’ve let you down in so many ways…”
“You’ve disappointed me, sure. But you’ve never let me down.”
“What about Jesus? Your father told me about the attack. It’s part of the reason he came to see me.”
Her eyes fill with tears almost instantaneously. “I figured, given your reaction at my door …”
“Yes. And I’m pissed I wasn’t there. If I were, he never would have put his hands on you. That same guilt I felt about my sister came rushing back. But God, I’m so fucking proud of you, Sydney. You defended yourself, just like I taught you. When your dad told me that, I had never been so proud in my entire life. I thought I was going to fucking cry.”
She chuckles as she wipes her tears. “I was so scared, Javi. But I just kept hearing your voice in my ears, telling me what to do, remembering practicing the moves with you in the gym. Even though you weren’t physically there, you did save me. You helped me save myself.”
I wrap my arms around her and move to stand as her legs wrap around my waist. “I think we’ve saved each other in multiple ways, Princess,” I reply before crushing my mouth to hers again.
“Make love to me, Javi.” My legs carry us upstairs as I briskly approach her bedroom.
“I plan on it, baby. All night. We have a lot of time to make up for.”
Laying her down gently on her bed, I reach back and pull off my shirt, loving the way her eyes grow darker as soon as she sees my torso. I pop the button on my shorts and pull them down along with my underwear. While watching her rub her thighs together in relief, I pull her hands to help her sit up and then reach for the hem of her tank top, peeling it from her body. She has on a light sports bra, so I rid her body of that too, exposing her perky breasts to me, making me itch with need to touch her.
She pushes down her shorts and underwear and throws them to the ground, giving me a perfect view of her pussy, already drenched with her arousal.
“I missed you so much, baby. I want to savor every part of you tonight, but this first time might not be slow.”
“I don’t care. I just want you.”
“Then lie back,” I declare as she follows my orders and then spreads her legs open wide, giving me a front row seat to the body that I plan on worshiping over and over for the rest of my life.
I dip my head down and swipe my tongue along her slit, eliciting a moan from her that echoes in her room. Teasing her clit, I flick her nub ever so lightly, toying with her as I hear her frustration build in her cries.
“Javi …”
I don’t let her get another word out before I dive in, sucking her clit between my lips and plunging two fingers inside of her, making her gasp. I work her over, enjoying the way her thighs tremble around my head, the way her hands yank at my hair as she holds my head to her pussy, the way she calls out my name as I bring her over the edge and she comes all over my fingers and tongue.
“That’s one, Princess.”
“God, I missed your mouth,” she says as I hover over her and then kiss her deeply, allowing her to taste herself.
“I missed your mouth too, baby.”
“Then let me return the favor …” She moves to sit up, but I stop her.
“Not this time. I have some making up to do, so sit back and enjoy the orgasms.”
“I guess I can’t argue with that,” she says as she reaches between us and runs my cock along her soaked pussy, lining me up to her entrance.
“Sydney?”
“I want to feel you, Javi. It’s all I’ve thought about while we’ve been apart. And I’m on the pill.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
Bringing my lips to hers, I kiss her softly as I thrust inside of her, stilling once I’m all the way in. I rear back so I can see her eyes, taking a moment to memorize the look on her face as I bury myself inside of her bare for the first time.
“Fuck, baby. God, you feel good …”
“You too, Javi. I need you to move. I’m gonna come again,” she pants as I slide in and out, my mind spinning with how different and incredible this feels with nothing between us.
I move slowly, trying to savor every nerve ending being lit on fire and not wanting to blow my load too early as well, but that doesn’t stop Sydney from coming all over my cock, squeezing me between her legs as she rides out her release.
“Holy shit …” she exclaims when she comes back down and I watch her body relax.
“That was so fucking hot,” I murmur and then kiss her once more, picking up my speed.
After a few minutes, I decide to change positions, pulling out of her entirely and then lying behind her so her back is to my front. I lift her leg and then slide back inside, holding her in my arms, pinching her nipples as I thrust hard and deep and she moans out her pleasure.
“So … fucking … good,” she breathes.
“Agreed, Princess. Fuck, you’re gonna make me come.” I growl in her ear as I feel the first tremor run through me. I reach around to stroke her clit while I pump more furiously, chasing that release, desperate to come inside of her. I’ve never wanted that more than I do right now—to claim her once and for all as mine.
“Me too … harder, Javi,” she pleads as I slam deeper inside of her and rub her sweet spot until we’re both seeing stars. The moment my orgasm hits, Sydney joins me and we ride out our release together, trembling in each other’s arms until we catch our breaths.
Still buried deep inside of her, my lips find her skin—kissing her neck, her shoulder, her back—showering her with touches we’ve gone without in the past two weeks.
“I love you, baby,” I whisper in her ear as she hums her approval.
“I love you, Javi,” she returns and then we both relax until we drift off to sleep. Sleep comes easy now that she’s back in my arms, where she should have been this entire time.
I learned my lesson though, and I’ll be damned if I do that again to this woman. I have the rest of my life to show her that I’m devoted to her, and I’ll never stop as long as she lets me.
***
One Week Later
“Alright, guys. I wanted to talk to you about something.” Sydney sits in my lap on the couch in my sister’s living room as Andre and Selena sit on the loveseat in a similar position.
Ever since we got back together, the last thing I want is to be without her touch. If she’s near me, I make sure to wrap my arms around her, almost as if I’m afraid she might change her mind and run away. Ironic how her fear with me has now become mine with her. Nevertheless, we’re working on communicating our fears and overcoming them together, being a team. I’ve never had that in my life, but Sydney says I’d better get used to it.
“Oh my God! Are you pregnant?” Selena shouts as my eyes go wide. I turn to search Sydney’s face, wondering if she’s keeping something from me, but she sees my concern and just rolls her eyes.
“No, I’m not pregnant. Can everyone focus, please?”
I blow out a breath of relief and then snuggle her in closer to my body. I definitely want children with this woman someday, but today is not that day.
“Okay. What is it?”
Sydney takes a deep breath and then speaks. “Jesus’s arraignment was on Wednesday. Since the only charges against him are his assault on me, he’s likely to only have to pay a fine.”
“What? That’s bullshit!” Selena shouts as Andre rests a hand on her shoulder.
“I agree, but given that it’s his first offense, this is the likely result.”
“So, what do you need from us?”
Sydney looks down at me and I nod, encouraging her to ask what she needs to. She discussed this with me prior to this conversation, and I told her I supported what she wanted to do, but it was up to my sister.
“Well, if he only has to pay a fine, he’s likely to go back on the streets and try this again. Lord knows how many other women might have been a victim of his after you, Selena.”
“Okay …”
“So, I guess I’m asking if you’d be willing to press charges against him for rape.”
I watch my sister’s face go white and her body retreat in her seat.
“Please don’t be mad at me … but in the state of Texas you have ten years to file rape charges against someone. You’re well within the time limits … and, given that you had a rape kit done at the hospital the night that it happened, there is clear evidence that could put him behind bars, Selena.”
“You … you want me to come forward?”
Sydney and I both nod and then I finally speak. “Yeah, we do, sis. Think about how many other women he could hurt. Sydney was lucky she knew how to fight him off. But others might not be that prepared. He’s a filthy piece of shit that needs to be put behind bars. He needs to pay for what he’s done to our family. And you have the power to help make that happen.”
Andre looks at me and bobs his head up and down, just as Selena turns to face him. “You think I should do this?”
“I think now’s as good a time as ever. Like Sydney said, we don’t want him to get to other women, and you have hard evidence that can put him behind bars, babe.”
Selena’s eyes find the floor as Sydney squeezes my hand in anticipation.
“I know it’s scary, Selena. But he deserves this punishment. He’s only going to keep doing this because he knows he can get away with it.”
My sister peers over at me. “Sydney’s right, Selena. It’s time to make him pay.”
“You’re right,” she finally says as Sydney’s shoulders fall. “I’ll do it.” Her smile grows as Sydney and her lock eyes and nod in agreement, silently waging a war against a man that has hurt them both.
“I’m so glad, Selena. I think it’s going to make all the difference. One of my associates at my firm agreed to take on our case, and is confident we have enough to put Jesus behind bars for a while.”
“Let’s hope.”
“Now,” Sydney states, turning to face me. “There’s one more thing I want to address …”
“What’s up, Princess?”
Her face softens as she stares down at me, brushing my hair off of my forehead. “One thing about being a Matthews is knowing a lot of people and having some pretty powerful connections.”
“Okay …”
“I talked with my father, who is close with our Governor in the great state of Texas, and he seems to think he may be able to help you as well.”
My brow furrows as she waits for me to say something. “Help me how?”
“Well, I know you hate having the assault charge on your record, and once Selena comes forward, there will be intent for why you hit Jesus. Assault charges can’t be expunged from your record through legal means unless you are pardoned by a Governor or the President. And sorry, but we’re not in tight with the President.” She winks and I’m still trying to follow her train of thought.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I might be able to get the charges off your record, Javi. That black cloud you claim follows you around could go away forever. I know it won’t give you those two years back you spent behind bars, but at least it will give you some sort of a fresh start.”
I feel my eyes start to burn. “You’d do that for me?”
She smiles down at me and then gently kisses my lips. “I’d do anything for you, Javi.”
“God, I love you.” I pull her in and smash my lips to hers as I hear Andre and Selena snicker in the background.
“Javi, this is incredible!” Selena finally says as we part. She stands and then comes over to us. “Sydney, I can’t believe you might be able to do that.”
All of us stand as we make our way to the kitchen. Andre grabs drinks from the fridge for everyone to celebrate.
“Nothing is guaranteed, but I think the facts of the case are in our favor. And the more I was talking with my dad, the more we decided that there needs to be more open opportunities for expungement in this state. A lot of times there are circumstances surrounding an arrest or conviction that don’t come out until later, and a person should have the right to clear their record after the fact. He’s convinced there are other cases like Javi’s and we might be able to help pass legislation to help more people like him.”
I grab Sydney and spin her around, high on the fact that she’s not only trying to change my life, but the lives of so many others. “You’re amazing, Sydney Matthews.” She giggles before I set her down and kiss her chastely.
“Seriously, Sydney. That’s incredible. Let us know how we can help.” Andre says as he raises his beer, proposing a toast. We all lift our bottles and listen for what he says next.
“To Sydney … for showing us that first impressions aren’t always correct, that people can take you by surprise, and that true love can be found in a honky tonk.”
We all burst into laughter before we take a drink.
“Thank you, Andre,” she replies, reaching up to brush away a tear. “And I will definitely need your help for what I have planned.”
Pulling her into my side, I squeeze her tightly, thankful that she did spill soda on my crotch that night. Who knows where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for her making me want to be a better man.
Sydney Matthews flipped my world upside down that night, pulling me out of a dark place I was intent on living in in repentance for my choices. But she saw past my surly attitude and forced me to open my mind up to seeing her for who she truly is as a person. In doing so, I fell in love with a woman I thought was somebody else. And in turn she fell in love with me, giving me all of the unexpected things I never knew I wanted.
After we settle in my bed later that night, I pull her into my chest and turn her face toward mine. Staring into her aqua eyes, I bare my soul to her, making sure she knows how much I cherish the fact that she entered my life.
“Princess �
�� I hope you know that I didn’t want to fall in love. I really didn’t want anything to do with it. But then you appeared and I started to want everything. You’ve changed my life, Sydney. I love you for not only what you are, but for who I am when I am with you. You are everything to me.”
“I love you too, Javi. You helped pull me out of the hole I was living in. You’ve given me courage to stand up for myself and fight for the life I want.”
“Ditto, babe.”
“Now we have nothing but time to spend wrapped up in each other. And I don’t know about you, but that sounds like one hell of a way to live.” Her teasing grin has me growing rock hard in seconds.
“Oh, I agree. And I’m gonna make love to you right now, Sydney Matthews.” I roll on top of her, bracing myself on my forearms as I peer down into her eyes.
“No. Love me forever, Javi.”
Epilogue
Javier
Ten Years Later
“That’s it, baby girl. Swing with your right. Now left.”
I’m trying not to hover, but it’s so fucking hard granting your daughter some freedom when you want to help her with everything.
“Am I doing it, Daddy?” My seven-year-old turns to check for my confirmation.
“Yes, you are, Ivy. Keep going, baby.”
She smiles proudly and keeps hitting the bag along with the rest of the kids in the class.
It’s a Tuesday night at Elite Gym, and I’m standing in the corner of the room where the kid’s self-defense class is held. For the past five years, I’ve taught this class, eager for the day when my own daughter would be joining us. Sydney was relentless about waiting until Ivelisse was a little older to start, so she’s a little behind the other kids. But my girl is a natural with the way she’s hitting the bag.
Behind the glass windows I see Ally walk by, waving at me in passing. Taryn’s class is down the hall and Tanner will join the class of older kids that comes next.
