Ash clapped his hands, something wry in his smile. “That’s right, Alexis. We couldn’t be happier that you’re here, could we, everyone?”
The entire group nodded, smiling as they stood to make introductions.
Zee filled me in on the names of the children, Connor and Kallie who belonged to Sebastian and Shea, Adia and Brendon who belonged to Lyrik and Tamar, and the tiny baby girl, Sadie, who was Austin and Edie’s.
Ash caught me totally off guard when he suddenly swooped me up in an overbearing hug, flinging me around like a rag doll. “Welcome to the freak show, darlin’. Admission is free, but you don’t ever get to leave.”
“Oh my God, you did not.” Willow shoved her husband in the shoulder. Her expression was a mixture of fond disbelief and sheer horror.
Ash jostled to the side, righting himself, stretching his hulking, tattooed arms wide, continuing with a story I was a little horrified of, too. But it was done with so much natural warmth it was hard not to fall into the comfort of it.
“What? It was our boy Zee’s twenty-first birthday. What did you expect me to do? That was nothing but my own responsibility.”
Zee had settled into some kind of mood I didn’t recognize. So casual and calm. Laid back.
He glanced at me with a smile playing all over that mouth. I couldn’t keep my eyes off it, the memory of his kiss still rushing like a river through my veins.
He looked back at Ash, this sparring sarcasm dripping from his tone. “Last kind of birthday present I needed, man. Last kind. Flip on the light to my hotel room, ready to crash since you assholes kept me out all night, and here’s this chick tied to my bed.”
Incredulous, Ash scoffed. “Last kind of birthday present you needed? What the hell are you talking about, man? I’m pretty sure it was the only kind, considering I hadn’t seen your ass with a girl the whole year since you’d joined Sunder. It was the least I could do.”
I peeked over at Zee, wishing I could ask him more. Dig deeper into the subject we’d only touched on back at his place earlier.
I wanted to make sense of it. He was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, and yet, he’d chosen to shun the attention that was clearly thrown at him at every turn.
No one-night stands. No relationships. Nothing at all.
It seemed impossible.
There are some things I can’t tell you.
That admission taunted my mind. A flicker of that self-preservation I was lacking urged me to take heed.
Instead, I smiled and let myself get lost in the relaxed vibe. Because like Zee had said, if our time was running out, we needed to savor the moments we had.
Shea’s mouth dropped open. “A stripper? Ash, what is wrong with you?”
Shea, Sebastian’s wife, was adorable. Everything about her screamed country, from the red boots to the cute drawl that continually came from her mouth.
Sebastian nuzzled his nose in her hair. With the way he kept touching her, I got the feeling the man couldn’t get close enough. “Ah, baby, you should know by now that’s nothin’ but tame for Ash. Zee’s just lucky the asshole didn’t have a prostitute waiting for him back in his room.”
Zee shook his head, that cool easiness gliding out. “Uh, pretty sure the two were interchangeable. Let’s just say stripping was entirely unnecessary since she was already lying there naked.”
Ash pointed at Zee. “Again, you should be thanking me.”
Oh my God. These guys were out of control.
I floated on their joy.
“Thanking you?” Zee shook his head. “Only thing I wanted was to hunt you down and strangle you. You should’ve seen the girl’s face when I opened the door and asked her to leave. She thought it was some kind of sick role-play that she wasn’t sure she wanted to play. You know, since I was doing my best to remain respectful with a parting ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Don’t think she’d ever heard the words. You know me…the generous one who sent her right back up to your room. On my twenty-first birthday, nonetheless.”
Ash stretched out his arms. “Well, what did you expect? She got a good look at me and the poor thing was hooked.”
Willow just shook her head. Apparently, she was used to it and accepted the way her husband used to live before she’d become the center of his life. The guy had come with quite the reputation.
But it was Ash’s younger sister, Edie, who covered her ears. “Ah, stop it. I don’t need to hear anything about the crazy stuff that goes on while you’re all out on the road.”
Austin wound his arm around her shoulder and leaned close to her ear. “Went down,” he emphasized, smiling down at the baby girl Edie held in her lap. “I think the key here is this is all in the past. But let’s just say before I took Baz’s spot, I was witness to some unsavory shit. Pretty sure Sunder wrote the book on bad behavior.”
Zee was absolutely right. I couldn’t help but love them. Couldn’t stop my grin as I listened to them spar and tease. Their true affection for each other was apparent in every word, and I wondered what it might be like to be a part of it.
Shea laughed her sweet country laugh, though it was tinged with the slightest reprimand. “If I’d been around, I never would’ve let them pull that stuff in front of you, Austin. Shame on all you boys for being such bad influences.”
Austin grinned, but there was something soft about it. Rimmed in a gratefulness that rushed to his expression when he glanced meaningfully at his older brother then back to Shea. “Think the guys here did the best they could, considering the circumstances. Only thing that matters is I turned out just fine.”
His gaze dropped to his wife, just as low as his words. “Better than fine, actually.”
“I love you.” Her voice was less than a whisper as she mouthed it up at him, their lips meeting for a flash.
My spirit danced. Throbbed with the sweetness of it all.
How many stars had I wished on that one day a man might look at me that way?
I dropped my head when Zee looked my way and caught me staring at Austin and Edie and the obvious love they shared.
He reached out, his fingers gentle where they brushed along the sensitive skin of my forearm.
Eliciting chills.
Stoking hunger.
His voice was a soft murmur intended only for me. “Thank you so much for sharing this time with me. You don’t know what it means.”
Chapter Eighteen
Zee
We finally made it into the music room about two hours after Alexis and I had shown. It was the way it always was, all of us getting caught up in memories, joking around, my family enjoying the crazy awesome life they’d been granted.
All the while, their kids playing at their feet.
Baz was slouched back on the couch where he’d been watching the four of us hammer out a song that needed to be tweaked before we hit the stage.
Just like every tour, we’d be kicking this one off here in LA at our favorite old theater. It was just about as much a tradition as the shots Ash had us tossing back after every show.
It was the theater where Sunder had been discovered. The theater where Anthony had first talked to Baz after Sunder had gotten their first big break and opened for a huge band back in the day.
It was the same night Lyrik’s life had come crashing down.
Crazy how that old saying remained true. One door closes and another door opens. At the time, I seriously doubted Lyrik would’ve chosen the door his mistakes had led him through.
But ultimately, that door had led him to Tamar. Ties had been made that night. Aspirations set. Goals kicked into play.
It was where it all had begun. Always had seemed a fitting starting line.
Sweat slicked my back and brow, and I lifted the hem of my shirt to wipe it, trying to gather my breaths that had been pounded out during the session.
“Hell yeah, that was killer.” Ash tugged his teeth over his bottom lip as he set his bass on its stand. “All that speculation about Sunder going dry? Gett
ing too soft to kick ass? Washed up? Now that is just about the most offensive shit the paps have ever gone on about. If they know one thing about us, they should know we always, always kick ass. That’s just one thing that hasn’t and won’t ever go out of style.”
Lyrik roughed a hand through his sweat-drenched hair. “Yeah. Some things do indeed remain the same. And if that’s our one constant? I’ll take it. No complaints here, man.”
Austin was all gloating grins as he chugged a bottle of water. “Hey, you assholes got me on board in place of the big brother. Did anyone seriously think we wouldn’t be killing it for the rest of our days once I took the stage? Now maybe if Baz wouldn’t have stepped down, we might be tellin’ a different story.”
Baz pointed at him. “Oh, you wish, little brother. I was the one who got the train barreling down the tracks. You just hopped on like a hobo snagging a free ride.”
“Hobo?” Austin went for him, throwing a bunch of fake blows to the side of Baz’s face that Baz deflected like an old pro.
“Who’s calling who a hobo? Considering your lazy ass spends half your time at the beach on Tybee Island,” Austin taunted as he jumped around, throwing those jabs and just missing his brother’s face.
Baz lifted his hands, palms out. “Hey, don’t be jealous I get to chill. I put in all the hard work at the beginning, and now I get to kick back and reap the rewards.”
Lyrik scoffed, voice brimming with sarcasm. “At thirty-one. Man, all those strenuous years of hard work you put in…don’t know how you survived it.”
Baz chuckled. “Watch it, dude, or next time you all want to crawl to my place in Savannah to record your next album, I’m all of a sudden gonna be all booked up.”
Ash gasped, hand over his heart. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, you know he would,” Austin razzed.
You’d think with the way they went directly for the throat, there would be some hard feelings. But there was nothing but support bounding from the walls that were made for acoustics, their words an echo of encouragement as they bounced and played.
I was struck by a wave of regret.
Mark should have been here. A part of this.
I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back the rush of memories, but it was like sitting at that piano had set them free. The questions I’d done my best at dodging.
I’d accepted the path I’d been given and traveled it without question. Without any of those distractions or diversions.
Just like it applied to Lyrik? One door had been slammed in my face, and I’d been shoved through another by all the fucked-up mistakes I’d made.
Those mistakes pummeled me, right hook after right hook.
What if Mark were there? What if I hadn’t pushed him over the edge? What if he had a family?
Regret burned hot, and I attempted to shake it off while I focused on reorganizing all my shit I kept here at Ash’s. Made it easy, each of us having instruments at each other’s pads so we could play whenever inspiration struck. Usually at the drop of a dime.
Same way as the music came.
As a feeling.
An emotion.
When we were pissed and dealing with heavy shit or when we were floating with the clouds, blissed out when something amazing had come our way.
I suddenly felt the stare burning a hole in the side of my face. “So…Alexis, huh?”
This from Ash, the bastard. Had no clue how the asshole had restrained himself this long.
I shrugged. “We’re friends.”
“Really?” It was all a challenge.
Did my best to pass it off with a shrug, reining in the urge to lash out and at the same fucking time finally come clean. “Yep. Ran into her a couple weeks ago.”
And by ran, I meant I ran after her like some kind of twisted fuck. Like they needed that kind of ammunition.
“You ‘ran’ into her?”
So maybe that was obvious.
“Yep.”
“And?” he pressed.
“And we just…kind of hit it off. She’s super cool. She wants to learn how to play piano, so I’m going to teach her. Besides, that piece of shit is still out there running free after what he did to her. Wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I thought she was down there, getting herself into trouble again.”
Silence struck the room like the ring after a bomb.
Deafening.
Baz looked at me like the dude was trying to climb right inside me. “You’re gonna teach her to play piano?”
I gave a tight nod.
He roughed a hand down his face and glanced away before that gray gaze locked on me, voice laced with caution. “How long’s it been, Zee?”
I turned away. “Doesn’t matter.”
Baz stood. “You’re really gonna stand there and pretend it doesn’t?”
Anger and regret and guilt bottled in my throat. A dangerous cocktail. “Just…don’t, man.”
Ash shook his head in some kind of pity. “Come on. You’re really going to pull this after the bullshit we’ve all been through? You’ve seen us at our lowest. Stood by us when we were making every mistake in the damned book. And that whole time we were making those mistakes? There you were…sober. Taking care of us. Going it alone like it was your responsibility.”
It was my responsibility, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Never once since the day you stepped into your brother’s shoes have I ever seen you with a girl, not since you broke up with whatever that chick’s name was when you were just a kid. And don’t pretend like you didn’t have an endless string of women just begging for your attention. And then you bring a girl into the fold and you’re gonna actually stand there and act like it’s nothin’?”
Just the fact he was mentioning Julie made me want to crawl right the hell out of my skin.
“I didn’t say it didn’t mean anything.”
Ash grinned, all teeth. “Now don’t go and get me wrong, because I am one happily married man, but that is one smoking hot woman. And the way she’s looking at you? Pretty sure the two of you are getting ready to go BAM.”
Fucker actually clapped his hands together.
His smirk grew. “And then you go and leave her with our girls for the last two hours? You’re in so much trouble, dude. Might as well hand over your balls, because I’m willing to toss down some Benjamins that girl has you by the dick.”
Trying a new tactic, I forced a grin. “You should know better than that, Ash, considering I’m the one who always ends up with all your dough.”
Austin chuckled from where he was leaning against the wall. “Except for the bedrooms, Zee…except for the pink and blue bedrooms. You totally blew that bet, brother.”
Years back when Ash had purchased the mansion in Savannah, Shea had bet him he’d be painting all the upstairs bedrooms pink and blue and filling them with a herd of baby Ashes.
I’d been a fool to bet against her. But at the time, I sure as hell didn’t think Ash would be settling down. It was a loss I’d gladly take.
Still, I played along, defending my bad bet through laugher. “Only one room so far. Shea has yet to win that bet—she said all the rooms. There are seven of them. Our boy Ash here has some work to do.”
Lyrik laughed. “Give him time, Zee, give him time.”
Baz set his hand on my shoulder. “Come on, Zee. Time to fess it up, because from where I’m standing, I don’t see what the problem is.”
Our conversation was cut short by the door cracking open.
Thank God.
I had no idea how to answer their questions. Had no response for what had changed or why I’d been that way in the first place. For years, they’d razzed me, giving me shit left and right. But it’d always been off-handed, in the end the lot of them letting me rest in peace.
Peace was about the farthest thing from what I felt.
Especially when in came a tumble of gorgeous women with even prettier hearts. They slipped into the attached sitting area of
f to the front of the big space that served as Ash’s music room.
But it was the one who came in behind Shea that stole my breath.
Literally.
Her eyes found mine and she lifted her hand in a small, timid wave, just a curl of her fingers before she followed Shea the rest of the way in.
Seeing her standing there in the mix of the women who’d come to mean the most to me felt like that was exactly where she was supposed to be. Like she belonged.
Shea plopped into one of the plush couches. “Hope y’all don’t mind us interrupting, but we figured if Alexis came all the way over here to spend the evening with us, she could at least get a glimpse at our sexy men doing what they do best.”
Ash feigned a mortal wound, a stab right to the heart. Dude was always such a damned clown. “Oh, my poor, beautiful Shea. If you really think this is what we do best, then your boy Baz here is doing it all wrong.”
Baz smacked Ash on the back of the head. “You only wish I had it all wrong. Shea here just didn’t want to embarrass the rest of you assholes in front of your girls. You know, just being thoughtful. That’s all. Though, I’m sure my wife has a hard time not bragging to her sisters about just how good my best is.”
“Don’t worry, baby, I always let the girls know how well my man keeps me satisfied.” Shea didn’t even hesitate to shout the flirt at her husband.
His lip curved at the edges, somehow soft and hard. “That’s what I thought. My woman wouldn’t know how to tell a lie that big, anyway.”
She pressed her hand over her heart, country drawl dripping with the innuendo. “Oh, no…I could never tell a lie that big.”
Tamar cracked up and raised her glass in Shea’s direction. They clinked them in the middle. “Oh, yeah. Now that’s exactly what I like to hear. Men that look like that and satisfy. I do believe we hit the jackpot.”
“Heck yes,” Shea agreed, taking a big gulp of her wine.
Willow and Edie giggled behind their hands, both of them turning red with the way Shea and Tamar went back and forth. Two of them should be used to it by now.
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