Zee could barely breathe beneath the disturbance that seethed in his chest. “You’re scaring me, man. Tell me what the hell is going on.”
Mark grinned. Zee knew it was forced. “It’s nothing, little brother. Just needed to get it off my chest. Put it out in the open. Now that I said it aloud, I’m pretty sure I’m just being paranoid.” He scratched at his forearm, eyes glancing to the marks imprinted there. “Mixing all this shit will do that to you, you know. Either way, it’s all on me.”
“Mark, come on. Don’t shut me out. Tell me what’s going on.”
Instead of settling in, Mark suddenly stood and smacked his hands together, no joy in his too-wide smile. “What I should do is get the hell out of here before Julie comes out here with a broom to run me off.”
“Dude, she’s not that bad.”
Mark laughed. “Oh, I know, brother. I think the girl just knows a rat when she sees one.”
Regret pulled tight across Zee’s ribs. He pushed to his feet, beating down the need to demand that his brother tell him what he was talking about. Chances were, Mark was right. He was just overreacting.
Besides, they had a bigger issue to tackle.
“I’ll talk to Julie, Mark. Honestly, I fucking hate this wedge between us. I miss you. Maybe you can make that U-turn. Get back to who you used to be.”
“That’s the hope, isn’t it?”
Zee followed Mark back through the small living room of the apartment, stepping out behind him and onto the front stoop. The second they were out there, Mark flew around and pulled Zee into a hug. He squeezed him like he didn’t want to let go. “You turned into a good man, Zee. A fucking good man. Don’t let anything or anyone ever change that.”
Zee hugged his brother tighter. Hoping he could feel it.
Love.
Belief.
Hope.
“Take care of yourself, brother.”
Mark nodded. “Yeah.”
Julie slowly stood from the couch when Zee stepped back inside and locked the door behind him. Her voice trembled. “What was he doing here? You promised.”
Zee turned to look at her, stricken by grief and hope. “He’s my brother, Julie. Love doesn’t give up that easily. I don’t know that I have it in me to choose.”
He knew she was hurting and scared. She rubbed both hands over her arms as if she were trying to keep herself warm. “I…I have a horrible feeling about this, Zee. I don’t want you to have to choose, but if you don’t, my gut tells me I’m the one who’s going to lose.”
“I can’t just pretend he doesn’t exist.” His voice was pleading, and he erased the space between them and pulled her into his arms. She sagged against him, her knees weak. “Please don’t make me choose,” he begged.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Alexis
Colored lights whirled and danced through the heavy duskiness of the old music theater. They struck like flares against the faces of eager fans that pressed and vied to get closer to the stage.
To witness Sunder’s final show.
They’d made an official statement that it wasn’t the band’s end. They promised they would be back, although in a different capacity. They would continue to play on their own time and on their own terms.
Fans had still billed the show a final farewell.
Music blasted from the huge speakers that hung from the cavernous ceiling. It was heavy and thrashing like the music I knew Sunder played. It was so not normally my thing, but I couldn’t stop the shiver of excitement that blistered across my skin as I weaved my way closer and closer to the stage.
Drawn.
The way this boy had made me feel since the second he crashed into my life.
Zee had wanted me backstage where I could watch safely from the side. But I’d wanted to experience this through the fans’ eyes. Feel their energy and their exhilaration.
It was as if there were two distinct sides to this mysterious man.
One half so powerful and intense. An extension of the mayhem that hummed against these walls. The other half was something so vulnerable and quiet and profound, acute in the skill of his hands.
Together they were magnificent.
Imposing.
Everything I’d ever wanted.
People crushed against one another, adding to the frenzy that sizzled and hovered in the air.
Like a match that ached for a strike.
The lights went dim and there was a collective gasp. My breath was officially gone when the entire stage lit in a flash of blinding light.
Zee was there, big body taking to the stage, so powerful and sure as he lifted his drumsticks to the air.
Cheers roared through the space. Deafening. His face was upturned and his eyes squeezed closed.
My chest heaved. Because I saw it so clearly.
The tribute.
The respect.
The grief.
Mark was written all over Zee when he strode across that stage and climbed the riser to take his place. The riser hidden farther in the back and in the shadows.
But he was the only thing I could see.
Ash strode out, cocky and sure. A fresh rustle of energy burst in the crowd. It only grew when Lyrik sauntered out from the side, so dark and menacing, fitting that stage as if he’d been formed from its mold.
Everything went wild when the final member stepped out on the stage—Austin Stone.
Lyrik strummed a reverberating chord on his guitar in the same second Zee began to tap out a mesmerizing rhythm on his drums.
Then the entire place ignited in one thrashing beat.
Austin jumped into action, screaming the lyrics I couldn’t begin to understand. But I could feel them all the same. The intensity. The meaning.
Zee pounded and beat and played.
Fiercely.
Savagely.
My little drummer boy.
Overwhelming in his beauty. Destructive in his talent.
I wondered if he knew he was absolutely stunning in that moment, just as breathtaking as when he sat at his piano.
If he knew that this gift was just as great.
Or if he believed this was only a penance.
Punishment.
I got lost in Sunder.
In the music. In the connection that was so clear in the four of them.
The crowd thrashed and slammed at the base of the stage, each song only propelling it higher.
It rose into something that verged on violence, a chaotic disorder that somehow felt like freedom, as if the entire place was riding that sharp edge of beauty that at any moment might slip and shatter.
It became more intense, so intense that I felt myself losing my footing. So wild I couldn’t tell if it was my spirit or my feet that had truly been swept away.
I felt staggered when the set came to an abrupt end.
Vibrations of their last song still rang through the air, knitting with the roar of the crowd.
Austin thrust a fist in the air and exited the stage, and both Lyrik and Ash tossed their picks out into the crowd before they followed him off.
How it was possible that energy grew when Zee climbed down from the risers, I didn’t know.
But I felt it stirring, building fast as he made his way down and came closer to the edge of the stage. He tossed one drumstick out into the crowd, then the other toward the other side. He was so mesmerizing I could’ve sworn I was floating in the remnants of the song.
I thought he’d exit the side of the stage like the rest of the guys. But his gaze scrambled across the faces that cheered and stretched out their hands to get closer to him. The same way I felt desperate to.
Bronze flecks gleamed in his eyes when they finally tangled with mine.
And this boy…this magnetic boy leaned down toward me, hand outstretched.
Oh God.
He’d warned me we had to be careful. That the paps were watching. That we had to keep our distance and play it cool.
Maybe I’d been a fool t
o agree, to give in. But I was chasing those slivers of time that I could feel winding down, clinging to the moments before they came to an end.
It was what had led me to stand at the base of the stage, my heart going haywire. Erratic beat after erratic beat.
I fought against the bodies that crammed toward him, eager to get closer. He touched a few of the hands lifted in his direction.
The second I touched him, his hand curled around mine. He hauled me up through the demanding crowd, the muscles in his arm bulging as he lifted me onto the stage.
Giddiness swept through my consciousness. Dizzying and sweet. I gasped out in shock when I was suddenly on stage with Zee.
It felt like a statement.
It felt like a promise.
It felt like perfection.
“What are you doing?” I rasped through the surprise when both his hands landed on either side of my neck.
His voice was gruff where he murmured it close to my lips. “I need you.”
“What about people seeing us?”
“I don’t care anymore, Alexis. Can’t go a second more acting like what we have is wrong.”
And that was it. I was gone. There was no longer any question. I belonged to him.
“Come with me,” he demanded.
Didn’t he get I was already there?
Cheers turned to chants that rose from the floor as he hauled me behind him. He led me to the opposite side of the stage than the rest of the band had exited. He pushed aside a thick black drape that hung from the ceiling and pulled me into the well of darkness waiting backstage.
Members of the crew darted around the narrow space, shuffling cords and rushing on stage as they moved equipment around.
The chants grew fainter though more demanding the deeper we went into the depths of the theater.
“This way,” Zee said, keeping a tight hold on my hand as he took a right turn down another hall.
My heart thundered, this thrill shivering through my senses and taking me whole.
Zee turned the knob of a door and ducked us inside. He flipped a switch.
A light flickered on, breaking the wall of darkness and lighting the room in a dusky glow.
If I had to guess, it had once upon a time been a small dressing room, the space currently cluttered with boxes and old equipment.
Zee spun around in the middle of it. For a beat, he stared me down, pinning me with the stunning potency of those eyes. Those eyes that consumed and ravaged and devastated.
“Alexis.” He said my name like praise.
A strike of lust exploded in the air. A frenzy lit.
He pushed me against the wall, big hands on my neck, fingers driving into my hair.
He groaned the deepest groan when he seized my mouth, his tongue hot and his kiss unyielding. He pressed me tighter against the wall, the strength of his body overpowering mine, my knees weak and my spirit bounding.
“Zee,” I mumbled at his mouth. I clutched his shirt and lifted to my toes in a bid to get closer.
His hands moved down my neck and over my shoulders.
Chills spread.
I panted, and he splayed his hands wide, dragging them down my sides until he had hold of the hem of my lacy tank. He edged back and tore it over my head.
My chest heaved, bare, no bra underneath.
“You’ve ruined me, Alexis Kensington. I know all the shit I’m supposed to do, but then I catch a glimpse of you, and it’s all over. Done. Finished.” It was a growl. “No power left in me except what I’m gonna do to you.”
I threw myself at him, locking my arms around his neck and kissing him with everything I had.
With everything I felt.
Did he feel it, too?
Was it possible?
Fall with me.
He ripped open the button of my jeans and yanked down the zipper.
He spun us in the same second he was dragging my jeans and panties down my legs. He kept edging me back, lips still touching mine. “What the hell have you done to me? I’m so lost, baby. So damned lost.”
A thunder vibrated the floors, the heavy beat of music as it thrummed from the other side of the theater, the chants of the fans a throb that pulsed against our ears.
I lifted my face, the man a fortress over me. I flattened my palms beneath his shirt. “And with you is where I’m found.”
His defined abdomen trembled as I drew up his shirt, and he leaned down so I could pull it free.
Needy pants jetted from my mouth. He was so gorgeous in the glow of the light, his body glistening from the exertion of the set.
Muscles solid and tight.
Relentless.
My fingers shook as I trailed them over that mark before I turned and dragged them to his fly. I ripped it down, and it was Zee who shoved his pants to his thighs. His cock sprang free, just as massive as the rest of him.
Begging.
Demanding.
Straining toward me.
I took him in my hand, pumped him twice. Zee groaned, so deep and dark it echoed through the room. Like a chord added to rumble that vibrated the floors and shook the walls.
I gapsed when he grabbed me by the waist and hiked me up, shoving boxes out of the way and setting me on the edge of a table.
I clung to it, barely keeping myself upright when he gripped me by the knees and spread me wide before dropping down in front of me.
Desire flooded.
A river. Liquid. Hot.
“Alexis,” he murmured against my flesh before he drove his tongue in, taking a sharp dive through my center, deep, penetrating, before he angled, sucking and licking at my clit.
Pants rose in the air, my stomach in knots as sensations flew.
He set my thighs on his shoulders, his hands running up and down. Driving me higher with each caress. Higher with each stroke of his tongue.
“Zee…oh…God.”
Flames leapt beneath the surface of my skin, tingles building.
Everything shivered. Tightened. The threat of bliss.
And suddenly he was there, a big hand on the back of my neck to keep me supported while he gripped the mass of himself in the other. He guided the swollen head of his cock to my entrance. Barely touching.
A tease.
I whimpered, so turned on I couldn’t see. “Zee…please…I’m so close.”
“What do you need?”
“You.”
He surged forward, and a scream burst from my throat.
So big. Too much. Never enough because I would forever want more.
He ground his teeth, barely clinging to a thread of control.
I could feel it.
The tension that ran on a circuit through his body. Energy alive. The space between us one.
“Zee.”
He rocked and fucked and stole my sanity, a hand on the back of my neck to keep me steady.
Every restraint decimated.
He took me in a way he never had.
Manically. Desperately. Unhinged.
Falling.
Gravity too great to resist.
His and mine.
Colliding.
Edging back, he pulled out as far as he could. His cock was slick as he withdrew, our breaths shattered as we both watched where we were connected.
Wild eyes flicked to mine, and he pressed his thumb into my mouth. I sucked desperately, and he tugged it free, dragging our attention back down as he swirled it around my clit as he drove into me as deep as he could take me.
That was it.
I flew.
Gone.
Bliss.
It blinded and bounded and shot me to a place that shouldn’t exist. A place where darkness and light were one and the same.
Weightless.
Stars.
Zee sank his fingers into my ass and dragged me off the edge. He fucked me with wild, uneven strokes before he roared when his orgasm hit him, full speed.
My name.
My name.
My name.
Uncontrolled, I crumbled in his hold. The world alive, the walls a thunder of energy.
Someone was suddenly pounding on the door. “Zee…asshole…are you in there?”
Zee jerked back. “Shit,” he muttered. He threaded his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair as he wildly looked around.
More pounding. “Zee.”
“Yeah, give me a second,” he hollered over his shoulder as he set me on unsteady feet. He kept a hand on me while he quickly resituated his pants and moved us back to the other side of the room and helped me into my clothes.
A fist hammered on the door, and Ash’s voice bled through. “Not joking, Zee. We’ve been looking for you for fifteen minutes. We should’ve been back on stage for the encore five minutes ago. Crowd is about to lose their shit, man. You know the routine.”
My heart raced as I frantically struggled to get back into my clothes. Shaking, I smoothed them out just as I tried to work out the knots in my hair.
“How do I look?” I whispered beneath my breath, feeling the flush of redness hit my cheeks.
Arrogance filled his smirk. “Like I just fucked you.”
I chewed at my lip, dropped my gaze. “Zee.”
He set his palm on the side of my face and forced me to look at him. “You look like a fucking vision, just like every damned time you walk in a room.”
He gripped me tighter. “And what you look like right now? You look like you belong to me.”
Emotion clogged my chest.
More pounding. “Now!”
Zee shouted toward the door, “I’m coming, I’m coming.” He tugged his shirt back over his head while I slipped back into my shoes.
Then Zee slanted me a smile, unlocked the door, and threw it open.
Ash was on the other side, the guy appearing half pissed, though a knowing grin slid to his face the second he saw Zee towing me out by the hand.
“Now, you know I never want to get in the way of the lovin’…because there’s no reason to tell any lies, we all know that’s the most important thing…but we’re just about to have a riot on our hands. Need to get our asses back on that stage. Pronto, baby. You two can get back to the good stuff after.”
Stand: A Bleeding Stars Stand-Alone Novel Page 24
