Stand: A Bleeding Stars Stand-Alone Novel

by A. L. Jackson

But it’s not that easy

  When fear’s the only thing you’ve got

  Take a chance, take a chance

  And it’s killing me the only chance I want

  Is the one I don’t know how to take

  For a moment the song completely blinked out, and a bated silence held fast to the atmosphere.

  My breath was hitched in my lungs.

  Desperate in this anticipation that threaded through my spirit.

  Then he drove back into the song as a medley of voices suddenly joined him.

  But now I’m blinded

  Starshine in my eyes

  Bleeding Stars and mended hearts

  One by one, they walked out onto the stage. Baz, Austin, Lyrik, and Ash, all dressed alike. Tamar, Edie, Shea, and Willow, who had changed into gowns.

  Each of them were singing as they crossed the stage to stand at Zee’s side.

  A part of him.

  His support.

  His family.

  I could do nothing but rise to my feet.

  Overwhelmed.

  Overcome by this beauty.

  And my heart, it beat wildly with his song, a confession that stitched together to become a part of me.

  And it’s you

  Starshine in my eyes

  Bleeding stars and mended hearts

  They’re falling for you

  They all sang, some in tenor, baritone, and bass. Shea’s sweet voice lifted above them for a few moments in a perfect harmony.

  Catch me when I fall

  Are you gonna catch me when I fall

  Then they all slowed and quieted, the piano barely a trickle of sound as Zee once again began to sing alone. His mouth was right at the mic, and his vulnerable, perfect heart was on display.

  Starshine in my eyes

  And I’m falling for you

  This mended heart

  It’s falling for you

  Catch me when I fall.

  Starshine

  Are you gonna catch me when I fall

  He heaved out a breath, his eyes closed for a moment before he opened them and peered directly at me. “I know my life is complicated, Alexis. That I have a kid who’s been through more than any kid ever should. That he’s gonna need me every second of every day. But the truth of the matter is, I need you, too. Need your light. Your music. Your song. Take a chance on me, Alexis. No fear. Just life.”

  And there was no hesitation.

  No question.

  I was running down the aisle.

  Toward this brilliant, unforgettable man.

  No fear. Just life.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  Zee

  That space between us had come alive. The way it always did when she was near. Though this time—this time it throbbed with devotion. With something that sang with permanence and loyalty. The kind of hope I’d been too terrified to allow myself to feel.

  I stood from my seat at the piano with my family standing around me.

  There with their unwavering support.

  My head spun.

  My heart a goddamned riot when I saw Alexis running down the aisle.

  Coming for me.

  I moved to the end of the stage and jumped off just as she reached the end.

  I swept her up and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

  God, how could anything feel so good?

  So perfect.

  Overcome, I swung her round and round while I held her against me.

  That sweetness filled my senses like a drug.

  Good and pure.

  Slowly, I let her slide down my body. I cupped the side of her face, and my thumb brushed beneath the hollow of her eye.

  My heart forever in her hands. “Starshine.”

  I stared down at her through the pale light that drifted in through the windows that overlooked the city. Right after the concert, I’d brought her here.

  Needing her alone.

  To feel her.

  Touch her.

  Make her all the promises only my body could say.

  My strokes were slow and unhurried as I filled her.

  Devout as I worshiped her in the shadows of my loft.

  My hand was on her face and the other was twisted in her hair.

  Her mouth parted as she clung to me.

  We both came.

  Silently.

  Reverently.

  For a few moments we both lay there gasping.

  Our minds catching up to the moment our hearts had been racing for all along.

  Slowly, I edged back, my thumb brushing the angle of her cheek. “I love you, Alexis Kensington.”

  It was the first time I’d told her, and I was sure I’d never spoken a greater truth.

  Love shined back at me, those deep blue eyes filled with faith. With the undying belief that had restored what had been lacking in me.

  Fingertips fluttered up to caress my face. A whisper. A promise. “And I will always love you, Zachary Kennedy. Thank you for taking a chance on me. For trusting me to be around him.”

  Shifting us both to our sides, I ran the pad of my thumb across her bottom lip. “It was never that I didn’t trust you, Alexis. It’s that I had to find a way to trust to myself. I had to finally come to the place where I was able to accept that I have something good to give, too. I’d been living in my own exile for so long, I’d thought it’d be some kind of sin for me to break out of it. But you…you showed me that life is for living.”

  She lightly scratched her fingertips over the beard on my jaw. “And now you’re ready to live.”

  “I’m so ready to live.”

  Her voice softened in wonder and encouragement, that potent gaze searching my face. “What’s it like, having him with you now? How does it feel to be a dad?”

  An affectionate sigh rippled into the dimness. “Realized I always knew something was missing, and I just didn’t know what it was. It feels like I finally found it—both Liam and you.”

  She blinked, her tone deep with significance. “We can take it as slow as you need us to, Zee. I promise I won’t barge into his life.”

  Liam had been all too happy when I’d asked him if it was okay if he spent the night at Baz and Shea’s tonight. I’d needed this time with Alexis. Time for us to talk. To lay it all out.

  I was ready. No more questions.

  I dipped down and brushed my lips over hers. “Not sure I know how to take things slow with you.”

  She giggled. It traveled through me like a song. A song that rang with joy. With peace. “We aren’t very good with slow, are we?”

  “Nah. Think it was our hearts that knew all along, pushing us toward where we belonged.”

  Her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip. “I think I knew the first time I saw you.”

  I nuzzled her neck, letting myself grin through the happiness of it. The joy of finally believing.

  Sobering, I pulled back, fidgeting with a lock of her hair. “I just…I have to have stability for him, Alexis. And if you want to be a part of his life, I have to know that you’re all in. Things are gonna be rough for a while with him. He’s doing well, dealing with the loss of his mom, but I know there are going to be difficult times ahead. And God…I don’t ever want you to question where I want you to be, because the only place I want you is with us.”

  “What are you saying, Zee?”

  It was almost a chuckle that slipped free. “Guess I’m giving you one last chance to run before I keep you forever.”

  Moisture shimmered in her eyes. “The only running I’m going to be doing is to you.”

  Relief took me whole.

  Complete.

  “I love you, Lex.”

  She edged forward a fraction so her mouth could meet mine.

  Fire.

  Flames.

  Freedom.

  She took my hand with the star and pressed it to her lips, her voice a whisper against the skin. “You were everything I’d ever wished for. Before I even knew what that meant.”
>
  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  Alexis

  Anxiety thrummed a steady beat through my being. Sweat gathered at the nape of my neck, and I sucked in a breath, trying to get myself together, to keep from fidgeting while I waited outside the massive doors of Zee’s loft.

  With shaky hands, I straightened my skirt for what had to be the hundredth time.

  I was certain I’d never been so nervous in all my life.

  I was also certain I had never stood on the precipice of something so important.

  There are moments in our lives when we know things are about to change.

  But this change?

  This might be the most significant of all my life.

  My pulse raced, my spirit heavy with anticipation.

  Hope and fear.

  Hope and fear.

  They wound and wound, stirring my conviction.

  I’d never been one to tiptoe.

  I’d always rushed into every situation.

  Eager to find what it might offer.

  But this time I did it with complete regard. With full consideration that had taken little thought or deliberation.

  Because my heart had already screamed its decision

  The lock screeched, and my heart kicked into overdrive when the door swung open.

  Zee stood there, that beautiful, intoxicating man who had become my world.

  This man who was inviting me deeper into his.

  The stand for something more important than I’d ever stood for in all my life.

  A shiver tickled across my skin when he slanted me the best kind of smile. One harnessed in affection and his own nerves.

  “Hey,” he said quietly as he widened the door.

  “Hi,” I breathed, softly smiling over at him as I stepped inside before I let my gaze travel into the living area.

  Sunlight poured in through the windows, like a spotlight cast on the tiny figure on the rug.

  Instantly my attention was there.

  Locked on the child as everything froze. My breath and my spirit and my heart.

  That moment sacred. Forever etched in my mind.

  He was sitting with his legs crisscrossed, leaning over a pile of Legos he focused on constructing.

  My feet cautiously carried me across the floor.

  While every other part of me suddenly went wild. Reaching and stretching and amplifying. Hope stretched out ahead of me like the brightest beacon.

  Calling me home.

  His head jerked up when he heard me approach.

  The little boy with light brown hair and eyes the color of bronze. He grinned the widest smile. Vulnerable and sweet.

  “Hi. My daddy said you were gonna come over and play with us. You wanna? I’m building a castle because when I grow up, I’m gonna be a knight.”

  I dropped to my knees in front of him.

  Heart first.

  “I’d love to play.”

  “What’s your favorite color?” he asked, looking back into his pile so he could dig it out for me.

  I glanced over at Zee, who stood staring down at us.

  That energy alive.

  Lapping and churning with an overpowering peace.

  And sitting there I finally knew exactly what it was I’d been wishing for.

  Epilogue

  Zee

  Warm laughter echoed from the walls. I sank back into the comfy couch as I let my gaze wander Shea and Sebastian’s living room at their place out on Tybee Island.

  Baz, Austin, Ash, and their families had mostly settled here in the Savannah area, considering this was where they wanted to raise their families.

  Lyrik and Tamar still spent most of their time in Los Angeles where they could be closer to Brendon.

  Of course, that was where Alexis and I planned on laying down roots, too, so she could keep close to her sisters.

  Avril was six months clean, living in a halfway house of sorts as she learned to get back on her feet. Fighting everyday but knowing living would always be worth the fight.

  I’d always feared if Sunder wasn’t continually making music, touring, and fighting to be on top, we’d lose sight of the dreams. But those bonds hadn’t loosened and had only seemed to strengthen as the demands of the rock star life were shifted. Even though our permanent homes were on opposite sides of the country, that didn’t mean we all didn’t get together as much as we could.

  Which was why we were all here to celebrate the holiday.

  The lights were cast low and Shea had candles set about out of reach of small hands.

  A spray of what had to be a million white twinkle lights sparkled from the tall Christmas tree set up against the panes of glass that overlooked the sea, and the rolling waves crashing on the beach just beyond the darkened windows only added to the contentment that stretched its fingers out like welcome.

  Sunder was scattered about the massive room. Shea and Edie were chatting in the kitchen, Baz and Austin not far where they rested on stools at the island.

  Lyrik and Tamar had curled up together on another couch, and Ash and Willow were murmuring to each other where they shared a lounger next to the fire.

  The flames lapped and danced, reflecting on the glass and sending a warm glow across the entire room.

  What made it best?

  All the kids were in the middle of the floor playing with the gifts they’d ripped open.

  My chest pressed full, unable to reconcile the satisfaction I felt. The easiness I’d never really realized had been missing until it was there. This peace that soothed the wounds that I’d thought would forever remain raw.

  That peace only amplified when I let my eyes settle on the two who were in the middle of it all.

  Liam was right at Alexis’ side, which was where he always seemed to want to be, laughing hysterically as she poked him in the belly. He grabbed that spot, crying out “no” when it was clear he was begging her to continue.

  Yeah.

  Things had been rough. But they were getting better. Every day. Knew Veronica would always be a loss for Liam, and I’d never discount the fact my son had lost his mother. I could only be grateful for what Alexis and I could give him.

  Safety and security and stability.

  A big house with an even bigger yard.

  Our time.

  Our love.

  And God, was there a ton of it. So much love it should have been impossible. But it was real. Just as real as the love that bounded against these floors and echoed against these walls.

  “All right, tea and cocoa is ready.” Shea set a tray of hot teas on the huge, square coffee table that’d been moved out of the way so the kids could all get near the base of the tree, and Baz followed her in with a tray of hot cocoas for the kids.

  “Yay.” It was a chorus of cheers from the kids. Apparently, a cup of hot cocoa on Christmas Eve was a big deal.

  A tradition in the making.

  Ash stood and helped pass out the saucers and cups.

  “I do believe this calls for a toast,” he said with one of those smirks.

  Lyrik shook his head. “Of course it does.”

  Ash chuckled, but his expression turned serious. “We’ve all been through some really rough times. Tragedies and more disappointments than any of us could count.”

  His gaze bounced around the room. “But I think it’s safe to say that our luck has won out.”

  He shook his head. “Never thought I’d find love the way I did”—he gestured with his cup to all of us around the room—“and I’m betting none of you did, either. Sunder is still making magic, but we’re doing it on our terms because every single one of us knows what’s most important.”

  He blinked, his throat heavy. “Family.”

  Everyone lifted their cups. “To family.”

  Warmth covered me, and I shifted to look at where Alexis was gazing down at my son.

  So damned tenderly it twisted through me like a hurricane.

  Maybe she felt my eyes on her, because she
turned to look at me.

  Faith and goodness and belief.

  This girl.

  I couldn’t have asked for anyone better, and I’d never thought I’d have a match. But this girl, she was my heart.

  My spirit.

  My soul.

  That space between us came alive. A stir of energy and need. Didn’t matter that I had her. I couldn’t ever get enough.

  As if she were drawn, she slowly pushed to her feet, swaying over to me wearing a sweater that hugged her in all the right ways, those eyes alive and that smile sweet.

  I stretched my hand out for her, pulling her to me just as anxiously as she was crawling onto my lap. I wrapped an arm around her, my nose at her temple. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

  She looked up at me. “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had. Thank you so much for letting me share it with you.”

  I hugged her a little closer. “And where else would you be?”

  “I don’t ever want to be anywhere else.”

  “Now I’m thinking I like the sound of that.”

  Her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip, and that redness rushed to her face. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, I really like the sound of that.”

  I turned to look at where Liam was giggling at some goofy face Brendon was making, my voice soft. “Hey, Liam.”

  His head popped up, grin set in place. “What is it, Daddy?”

  “You remember that special present we have?”

  His entire being lit up, and he scrambled to his feet. “Yes! I’ve got it, I’ve got it.”

  He rushed to where it was hidden on the back side of the tree, weaving through everyone as he came our direction.

  Swore I could feel Alexis’ heart rate amp, rising as this steady beat began to drum between us.

  A connection unfathomable.

  A bond unshakeable.

  Liam was bouncing like he just might pee his pants with the amount of excitement he had over the secret he’d kept for the last week which was hidden behind his back.

  Figured that was about as much time as I could expect of him, the boy the perfect accessory with his little winks and attempts at throwing her off track.