by Ian Doescher
Shalt get us both in trouble. Be content,
And trust him true. He is our master now.
R2-D2
Beep, beep, beep, meep, beep, squeak, beep, meep, squeak, hoo.
C-3PO
He saith he doth belong to Obi-Wan
Kenobi, resident of parts nearby,
And ’tis a private message meant for him.
For all my wit, I know not what he means,
For our last Master Sir Antilles was.
Alas, with all we have endur’d, this dear
Small R2 unit quite eccentric is.
R2-D2
Squeak!
LUKE
—Obi-Wan Kenobi … I suspect
Old Ben Kenobi he doth mean, perhaps.
First droids, then tales of battles fought in space,
And now a damsel cries in beams of light!
Did ever destiny come knocking thus?
C-3PO
I beg thy pardon, Sir, but know’st thou aught
Of what he speaks?
LUKE
—I know not any man
Nam’d Obi-Wan Kenobi, yet old Ben
Resides beyond the Dune Sea, and there dwells
Much like a hermit, strange and lone.
LEIA
—O help
Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, help. Thou art
Mine only hope.
LUKE
—I wonder who she is.
Whoever she may be, whatever is
Her cause, I shall unto her pleas respond.
Not e’en were she my sister could I know
A duty of more weight than I feel now.
It seemeth she some dreadful trouble hath—
Mayhap I should replay the message whole.
R2-D2
Beep, squeak, squeak! Meep, hoo, meep.
C-3PO
—R2 doth say
The bolt restraining him short-circuited
His full recording system. So saith he,
That if thou wouldst with speed remove the bolt,
He may the full recording then display.
[Aside:] What purpose shall I serve unto this man?
Am I to guide, encourage, counsel—what?
Thus shall I play the wise interpreter,
For truly ’tis the part I know the best.
LUKE
What? Aye, thou seem’st too small to run away
If I should take this off. Good little droid,
So cleverly thou bringest messages,
That thou hast won my trust. Now, thou art free.
[Exit Princess Leia from beam.
But wait, where hath she gone? What villainy!
How hast thou dampen’d that celestial light
Wherein she spoke of late? Now bring her back,
Play back the message full, thou naughty droid!
R2-D2
Meep, meep?
C-3PO
—What message, errant droid? The one
Thou hast been playing, which thou hold’st within
Thy rusty innards. [Aside:] O, alas! We shall
Deactivated be!
BERU
[inside:] —O Luke? Pray, Luke?
LUKE
I shall be there anon, good aunt Beru!
C-3PO
I’m sorry, Sir. For it doth seem he hath
Acquir’d a minor flutter.
LUKE
—Thus she comes,
And thus she goes. Yet ever on my sight
Her beautiful, fine countenance shall shine.
So here’s my vow: I’ll see her once again,
In beam, or—hope on hope!—with my own eyes.
For now, I must depart to dine. Pray, see
If thou canst remedy this R2, droid.
[Exit Luke.
R2-D2
Hoo.
C-3PO
—Reconsider, thou, if thou shalt play
The message back for him.
R2-D2
—Beep, meep, hoo, whee?
C-3PO
Nay, I do not believe he liketh thee.
R2-D2
Beep, squeak?
C-3PO
—Nay, thee I like not either.
R2-D2
—Hoo.
[Exit C-3PO.
Now are the pieces all arrang’d for me
To make a daring move, and fly this place.
The fool who sets the game in motion shall
Appear unto C-3PO and Luke
No more than if he were an arrant knave.
But hear the voice of R2-D2, all:
My noble purpose I’ll accomplish yet—
To take to Obi-Wan the princess’ news,
To take my Master Luke away from here,
And, in the end, perhaps more vital still—
To make connection twixt the two good men.
A foolish thing this flight may seem to thee,
And yet more fine than foolish shall it be.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 7.
Inside the Lars homestead.
Enter OWEN LARS, BERU LARS, and LUKE SKYWALKER, eating at a table.
LUKE
Mine uncle, thou shouldst know my mind. Methinks
The R2 unit we have bought belike
May have been stolen.
OWEN
—Thievery hath e’er
Been part and parcel of the Jawas’ trade.
But in thine utterance I sense there’s more,
So say, young Luke, why thinkest thou thereon?
LUKE
Good uncle, well I know the Jawas’ tricks,
Yet, as thou sayest, I mean something more.
A stolen moment with those droids hath shown
To me a reason they may stolen be:
I did uncover a recording whilst
I clean’d the R2 unit. He purports
To be the property of someone known
As Obi-Wan Kenobi. Thus, thought I,
That he may stolen be. As to the name,
This Obi-Wan Kenobi, wondered I
If mayhap he meant Ben. Canst thou make sense?
OWEN
Nay.
LUKE
—Yet I wonder if this Obi-Wan
Perchance may be some kin to yonder Ben.
OWEN
[aside:] Fie, fie! Shall that old man now haunt my home?
[To Luke:] That wizard is a damnèd scurvy man.
Tomorrow shalt thou take the R2 droid
To Anchorhead and have its memory
Eras’d. And so shall there an end be to’t.
For it belongeth only now to us.
LUKE
Aye, yet what if this Obi-Wan appears
And lays his claim unto this R2 droid?
What’s stolen may be worth the looking for.
OWEN
The looking shall not happen, nor the find,
For I believe the man doth not exist.
[Aside:] Now shall I by a lie destroy the man,
Lest he be giv’n new life in Luke’s young mind—
The boy a keen imagination hath.
[To Luke:] This Obi-Wan hath not for ages walk’d
Within this universe: he is no more.
’Twas many moons ago the old man died,
Aye, truly he hath met his end about
The time so long ago when wars were fought,
The time when men did battle to the grave,
The time before the Empire rul’d supreme,
The time wherein thy father died as well.
LUKE
Knew he my father?
OWEN
[aside:] —Though I tell of men
And wars and battles brave, still all he hears
Is that word “father.” [To Luke:] Prithee, Luke, forget.
Thy task is to prepare the droids for work
Tomorrow. In the morning shall they be
Upon the south ridge, laboring with those
Condensers.
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LUKE
—Aye, and I believe these droids
Shall serve us well. In troth, good uncle, now
I must confess my mind is mov’d to think
Upon the pact ’twixt thee and me, and our
Agreement, namely that I shall stay here
Another season. Crops that grow in these
Harsh climes will surely grow sans me. And so,
Mine uncle, if these droids will satisfy
I wish my application to transmit
Unto the great Academy this year.
OWEN
Nay Luke, an uncle’s heart is breaking! Canst
Thou mean the next semester hence, before
The harvest-time?
LUKE
—Just so! Quite plentiful
Are droids!
OWEN
—But harvest-time I need thee most!
Wilt thou here in the desert yet desert?
’Tis only one more season. This year I
Shall make enough at harvest-time to hire
More hands to help. Then canst thou go next year
To the Academy. To pilot is
A noble trade, my boy, but family
Is nobler still. I prithee, understand,
I need thee, Luke.
LUKE
—’Tis one more year entire!
OWEN
’Tis only one more season!
LUKE
—Aye, so saidst
Thou when my dear friends Biggs and Tank did leave.
Now cracks a hopeful heart, when, by the land,
A man’s ambitions firmly grounded are:
So shall a bird ne’er learn to fly or soar
When wings are clipp’d by crops and roots and soil.
BERU
Pray whither fly’st thou, Luke?
LUKE
—It seems, dear aunt,
I nowhere go nor flee nor sail nor fly.
Instead, I must remain and clean those droids.
[Exit Luke.
BERU
O Owen, he cannot abide for aye
With us. ’Tis true, his friends are mostly gone.
It hath great meaning for our well-lov’d Luke—
This bird would surely fly.
OWEN
—So promise I
That I shall set all things aright, Beru.
The bird shall fly indeed, when time is ripe,
And when the nest hath no more need of him.
BERU
But Owen, he hath not a farmer’s heart—
This apple falls quite near his father’s tree.
OWEN
’Tis true! And this, my dear, is what I fear.
[Exeunt Owen and Beru. Reenter Luke, gazing into the setting of Tatooine’s two suns.
LUKE
O, I am Fortune’s fool. ’Tis true, ’tis true,
And gazing now upon the double sun
Of my home Tatooine, I know full well
That elsewhere lies my destiny, not here.
Although my uncle’s will is that I stay,
My heart within me bursts to think on it
For out among the spheres I wish to roam—
Adventure and rebellion stir my blood.
Those oft-repeated words of my mate Biggs
I do believe—that all the world’s a star.
Beyond that heav’nly light I shall fly far!
[Exit.
SCENE 1.
Inside the Lars homestead.
Enter C-3PO.
C-3PO
Alas! My R2-D2, he hath flown,
And all the while he beepeth on and on
About his duty in rebellion’s cause.
O with what strength shall I be punishèd
When R2’s treachery discover’d is!
So shall I hide myself behind this ship
In hopes I’ll not be found by Master Luke.
[C-3PO hides.
Enter LUKE SKYWALKER.
LUKE
C-3PO, I say, what dost thou there?
At what game playest thou, O jolly droid?
[C-3PO emerges.
C-3PO
I prithee, Sir, be thou not cross with me.
’Twas through no fault of mine, in truth I swear!
Pray let me not deactivated be.
I ask’d him, aye, and urg’d him not to go.
With sighs and words aplenty plied I him—
With many earnest pleadings made my cause—
And yet he was to me as one made deaf.
His metal ears, as ’twere, did seem to plug,
As though no word of mine could penetrate
And break upon his sense of hearing. O!
I fear a curs’d malfunction doth befall
My dear and treasur’d R2 unit.
LUKE
—Nay!
C-3PO
Aye, verily! His mission is supreme,
So sayeth he. He will not hinder’d be,
Nor from his wayward, stubborn purpose veer.
CHORUS
Now with these words young Luke doth quickly run
Beyond the shutter’d doors, with failing hope.
And stepping out beneath the setting sun
He scans the vast horizon with his scope.
C-3PO
Sir, ever hath that R2 unit been
A problem that hath vex’d me through and through.
Astromech droids have ever puzzl’d me:
Their minds have tempers mighty to behold,
Though all contain’d in frames of modest size.
LUKE
Fie! How have I so easily been trick’d?
This R2 hath perform’d his greatest feat:
To vanish—scope to wheels—into the air!
O blast it! Aye, and fie and ficos too!
C-3PO
[aside:] Now he is anger’d. Peace, my Master, peace!
[To Luke:] Good Sir, forgive my impudence, but may
We yet this e’en go out asearching?
LUKE
—Nay.
’Tis far too dangerous. The night is dark,
But darker are the dreaded Sand People,
And darkest most of all their thievery.
Thus, as the darkness waits for light to dawn,
So must we wait for morning to arrive.
OWEN
[inside:] O Luke, come hither! Swiftly come ye in!
The time hath come to darken down the pow’r.
LUKE
Anon, good uncle! Thy good word I’ll heed!
[To C-3PO:] O, I shall taste the whips and scorns of my
Dear uncle’s anger. So shall that small droid,
Though yet far gone, wreak havoc on my soul.
C-3PO
Aye, Sir, ’tis true. Although the droid is skill’d
At laboring and service, most doth he
Excel at wearying the hearts of men.
[Luke and C-3PO withdraw for the night.
CHORUS
And so a restless night doth pass within:
While Luke doth ponder future punishment
And longs for his lost droid search to begin,
C-3PO doth fear his banishment.
At early morn, with eager wills they rise,
A shar’d endeavor binding them anew.
The fast landspeeder o’er the desert flies—
They go to find the errant droid R2.
LUKE and C-3PO enter, flying in landspeeder.
LUKE
Good friend, take heed! The scanner doth report
A droid ahead. Pray, swiftly take us hence—
Belike our R2-D2 there awaits!
[Aside:] Perhaps I’ll yet escape my uncle’s wrath.
CHORUS
While droid and man go racing ’cross the sand,
The Tusken Raiders watch the two pass by.
Their banthas mounting, gaffi sticks at hand,
They heave unto the air their warring cry
.
Enter R2-D2.
[Luke and C-3PO dismount to speak to R2-D2.
LUKE
Pray, whither goest thou, thou naughty droid?
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep squeak.
C-3PO
—Nay, Master Luke is now
Thy rightful owner. Learn obedience!
Aye, learn thou loyalty! Pray, learn respect!
And learn thou not to speak of Obi-Wan
Kenobi!
R2-D2
—Whee, nee, squeak.
C-3PO
—Speak not to me
Of mission, droid! I’ll warrant, happy thou
Shalt be if our new Master doth not let
Thee know the blaster’s deadly touch today.
LUKE
Pray, patience, dear C-3PO, ’tis well.
But let us hence.
R2-D2
—Beep, whistle, nee, meep, squeak!
LUKE
What can the matter be? What doth he say?
C-3PO
He doth report that creatures hither come,
Approaching stealthily from the southeast.
LUKE
Sand People! Hither, come, and let us see!
[Aside:] Unbidden doth adventure come, yet here
I stand, prepar’d to rise and welcome Fate.
The twisting strand she threads we must but trail,
For ’tis the wire that leadeth us through life.
Fate’s hand hath plac’d me here on Tatooine
And now she beckons onward to th’abyss.
Now o’er adventure’s great abyss I perch—
Above all time, above the universe,
Above the rim of chance and destiny—
And sister Fate doth dare me to look in.
And there—aye there!— I find my happiness.
I peer therein, embrace my Fate—and blink.
Come, life! For I am ready now to live.
[With scope, to droids:] I spy two banthas,
