“That’s right,” she says. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you fucking blocked me that night, essentially erasing me from your life! How could you do that to me? I had nothing when you left! I lost Andrew, I lost you.” She shakes her head. “I needed you, and you disappeared. I fucking hate you for that!”
She reaches out and slaps me across the face. I grit my teeth, ignoring the fact that her palm stung my cheek like a motherfucker. Damn, there was a lot of pent-up anger packed into that smack.
“Did that hurt?” she whispers.
I nod my head.
More than you know, Char. More than you will ever fucking know.
“Good. You damn well deserve it. Actually, you deserve worse.”
“Have you been plotting ‘worse’ for the last year and a half?” I smirk. “I’m just curious to know if I should be watching my back.”
“Isn’t it like the golden rule of your new thug life to watch your back?”
“You think I’m a thug?”
She shakes her head. “No, thug is way too nice a word for the likes of you. I can think of about a hundred more appropriate descriptions for the dickhead you’ve become.”
“Wow, London turned you into a real badass, huh?”
Her eyes narrow. “When you realize that the only person you can really count on is yourself, then yeah. You channel your inner badass, because if you don’t, you’re doomed to be a doormat for the rest of your life. And that’s not the life I want to lead.” She leans down, resting her head in her hands. “I have just another year. Once high school is over, I’m leaving.”
I recoil. “Leaving?”
Charlotte nods. “Yeah.”
“For where?” Panic grips me. I was stupid enough to let her go once. I can’t do it again, especially since she’s in a seemingly self-destruct mode with the drinking and the clubbing. A shiver runs through me, despite the balmy, salt-filled breeze whispering across my skin. The image of that scarred asshole from the other night is burned into my brain. There are plenty of others out there like him, looking for an opportunity to take advantage of unsuspecting young women, and the thought of her alone out there as a potential victim makes my gut twist.
“I don’t know,” she says, dragging her fingers through the cool sand. “Maybe I’ll go back to London. I didn’t have to deal with any parental bullshit over there. An entire ocean of distance seems about right.”
“Sounds like you had other challenges over there, though.” I remember the principal’s condescending comments from the day she’d been pulled into his office to address the defaced locker. Something about her record across the pond. I guess she was working on channeling that inner badass.
“They were nothing compared to what I have to live with over here.”
“Is that why you came here today?” I ask. She hasn’t tried to hit me again, so I take that as a good sign.
“Do you know what today is?” Her voice cracks and she buries her eyes in her arm.
“September twel—” I snap my mouth shut when realization strikes. “Shit,” I mutter.
Charlotte’s body trembles and she lets out a loud sniffle. “Yeah,” she whispers. “Today is the day.”
Fuck.
Of course she would have come here today, of all days!
How could I have forgotten?
This is exactly where I found her after hearing about the accident that claimed Andrew’s life.
It’s where I came the morning she left for London.
Our private dune, the one we always ran back to when things got too real…even for real life.
I can’t believe I didn’t pay attention to the signs.
Or the fucking date on my phone.
I lift an arm, hovering it over her but not sure if she’s ready for that. I debate for a full minute before draping it across her back and she shocks the shit out of me by scooting closer and falling against my chest. Her soft whimpers and quivering shoulders make my heart clench and I squeeze my eyes shut, pretending for a few seconds that we were back on the couch in her family room, before everything went to hell between us.
“You know he’s here with us,” I murmur, just like I did every year on the anniversary of his death. I don’t think it ever made her feel better, but it worked for me. Hell, Andrew Hawthorne was my friend, too, and I still miss him even though five years have passed.
Andrew always teased me about ending up with Char. He knew it was meant to be even if his father didn’t.
And I let him down when I let Char slip through my fingers, when she needed me most. I was all she had left and I flipped her off like she was nothing. Like she meant nothing. He’d have been disappointed in me, that I let my toxic life consume everything good. That I let anger and regret lead me down a path of dirty, dark, and dangerous deeds, a path that I’m no longer free to deviate from.
“What would he say if he saw us right now?” she asks, her tear-streaked face still pressed against my shirt.
“I…” I swallow hard. I know what he’d say to me. He’d tell me I’m a fucking idiot for letting go of the most important person in my life, for shutting her out and making her feel insignificant, just like her parents do. He’d tell me to open my eyes to see the kind of future I can have with Charlotte, that is, if I can pull my head out of my ass for a long enough time. And finally, I’m pretty sure he’d tell me I’m an absolute ass for wasting the last year and a half and that if I’m as smart as I think I am, I won’t waste another second.
No matter what.
“I think he’d say we’re exactly where we should be.”
Charlotte’s lip trembles. “How did this happen to us, Xander? We could have made things work. But you didn’t want to hear anything about it. I’d only found out I was leaving a couple of hours before, so don’t give me the bullshit that I was keeping things from you. It was something else, wasn’t it? Not just me leaving, not just my dad.” She wipes at a tear rolling down her cheek. “Tell me why it was better to let our relationship fall apart than talk things through. What made you leave that night? What could have been more important than us?”
I rake a hand through my hair.
She thinks I muscle people for money.
She called me Jase’s errand boy.
She has no idea who I really am, who I fought against for years until I realized that you can’t turn your back on the truth.
And the truth is, she’s perfect.
Being with me would be a black mark on her otherwise pristine aura.
I fought against it for a long time, but when she told me she was leaving, I knew it was for the best.
She could never survive in my world, the world I was destined to serve.
Char deserves the best, and as much as I adored her, I wasn’t it, not with the legacy I was expected to carry on.
We were an old-school photo and its negative, living in two different worlds on two ends of the spectrum.
And as much as I wanted to be in her realm, my birthright dictated otherwise.
I knew I’d never get out.
There are always choices, yes.
I could stay or I could leave in a box.
The latter would have given me the freedom to be with Char, but it would have been short-lived.
“There’s so much you don’t know, Char,” I say. “So much I can’t tell you.”
“We used to tell each other everything,” she says.
I shake my head, staring out at the rippling waves dancing in the moonlight.
“Some things are better left unsaid.”
How fucking cliché.
True, but cliché as all hell.
“You kept secrets from me, too?”
“Only so I could protect you,” I mumble. “There are reasons why Jase is the way he is, why Phoenix is in Chicago. Why I’ve become this person. But it’s not anything I can talk about.”
“Did I even know the real you?” she asks suddenly, staring into my eyes. Her gaze is hypnotic and I cou
ldn’t look away if I tried.
“I was only ever the real me when I was with you, Char,” I say, dropping my hand into hers, our fingers lacing together.
“Does that scare you, Xander?” she whispers. “Because ever since I’ve been back, you’ve been the opposite of how you were with me.”
“You have no idea how much it scares me. How much I stand to lose if I become that guy again.” I dip my head down toward hers, the sea spray stinging the inside of my nose.
“That’s too bad because I really loved that guy,” she breathes, her eyes fluttering closed as she tilts her head back the slightest bit.
Her floral scent swirls around my nose and I drink it in, letting it infuse my entire being before I crush my lips against hers. Jesus Christ. Nothing prepares me for the sensations that course through me the second our mouths connect. My tongue dips between her lips, coiling with hers on a quest to satisfy a hunger that has lay dormant for over a year.
Her soft hands stroke the back of my neck, my hands tangled in her long hair. We can’t devour each other fast enough, teeth cracking and tongues plundering as our mouths explore, picking up exactly where they left off that night.
Except I need to stop…to break away. To end this now, before it’s too late.
This girl…this woman…she is everything I need.
Everything I want.
And nothing that I can have.
The only problem is my body refuses to acknowledge what my mind knows to be true.
Chapter 15
Charlotte
Xander pulls away from me without warning, breaking our kiss. My heart sinks. I search his cold, dark eyes for something. Anything. They had started to soften, finally showing me a glimpse of the boy I’d loved for so long, but his walls just shot back up.
“We should go,” he huffs, breathless as he bolts away from me.
The night air that rushes between our bodies swallows me whole.
Just when I thought we might be able to get back to that place...yeah, right. I was kidding myself.
I lost him once. Did I really think I’d ever get him back when he’s clearly left that part of his life behind?
I suck in a breath, wanting to know more but too afraid to form the words. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I felt safe. Protected. Hopeful. For one fleeting moment everything seemed like it was finally going to be all right.
And then, just like last time, he yanked all of the good feelings away.
Well, screw him! I’m not some fucking yo-yo!
“Thanks, but I think I’ll stay for a little while longer,” I say with a cold edge to my voice.
“No,” he replies. “No way. Not by yourself.”
“Why?” I smirk at him. “You afraid something might happen to me? Like you really give a damn anyway.”
Xander places a hand on my arm, squeezing gently. Tiny tingles dance over my skin and I’m so damn tempted to pull him back toward me.
But I resist because I’m not one of those pathetic bitches at school who melts into her shoes when he so much as walks by.
“It’s that I give so much of a damn that I’m taking you with me.” Then the soft grip gets a little more forceful and he pulls me to my feet. “It’s not safe to be alone in the dark,” he murmurs, his dark eyes shadowed by something other than the lust that I clearly saw only a little while earlier.
“Did you care about me being alone in the dark when I was on another continent?” I snap, shrugging out of his grip. I trudge up toward the parking lot, my heels digging into the cool sand. I hear Xander right behind me, but I don’t look back.
As we approach the empty lot, I see two other cars parked near the one I ‘borrowed’ from my parents’ fleet, a blood red Tesla Model 3 that my father had just purchased right before I got home. It was fun as hell to drive, especially when it’s forbidden.
Before the gasp even escapes my lips, I dive behind a nearby dune. My heart hammers against my chest. That scar. I’ll never forget it! Every nerve is on red alert when Xander falls to his knees next to me.
“Stay down,” he orders, peering over the top of the dune. My body shakes uncontrollably, as if I’ve just been plunged naked into ice-cold water.
The guy. The stalker. Standing next to my car!
My teeth chatter and Xander puts an arm around me, hugging me tight as he watches.
“How did he find me?” I whimper. “What does he want with me?”
The airport run-in was weird, yes, but nothing to make my knees go out from under me. I should have told someone when he cornered me at that club, though. He knew my name, for Christ’s sake. How could I have snoozed on that? One quick look at Xander gives me my answer.
Everything fades away when he’s around.
He’d backed me up against a wall, making my body crave so much more than just his leg pressed between my legs, and boom. All thoughts of my crazy deformed stalker fly out the window.
But this?
Here?
How in the world would he be able to find me at the one place that only Xander and I knew about? No one knew that we came here. Not even Andrew. It was ours.
Only ours.
“What in the hell are you doing?” Xander mutters, peeking his head farther up to get a better look at the stranger next to my father’s new prized possession. He lets out a growl that rumbles through me, making my spine stiffen.
“I don’t know what he wants,” I whisper, my hand flying up over my gaping mouth.
“I saw him at the club the other night, before and after he was harassing you.” He looks down at me. “Had you seen him before that night?”
I nod. “He was at the airport when I got home. I ran into him by accident. But Xander, he called me by my name at the club that night. How would he know my name? What the hell is going on?”
He shakes his head, sliding down next to me. “I got a picture of him at the club. I don’t like this, Charlotte. You’re coming home with me. We’ll figure it out.”
“Do I even have a say?” Not that I want one. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.
God, I’m a glutton for punishment.
“Not even a little bit.” The concern that laces Xander’s words is comforting. Maybe he does still care about me after everything. Maybe a little glimmer of our old life is finally shining through all the wreckage.
“I can take care of myself, Xan,” I whisper, puffing out my chest, my feeble attempt at showing that I was brave enough to handle shit on my own. But the reality is that this guy, whoever he is, can track me anywhere he wants. He knows who I am. That means he knows who my father is and that he has a shit ton of money that can be paid in exchange for me.
Unless he wants to kill me.
Oh hell, there’s no way I’m going anywhere alone right now!
Xander’s fingers snake around my wrist. “This isn’t the time to play badass. I am taking you home with me, got it?”
We both inch upward toward the top of the dune and like magic, the creeper had vanished. There were no headlights. No sound of tires rolling over the pavement. No engine crying to life. Where did he go?
“Come on, he’s gone.” Xander straightens and pulls me up by the arm a little harder than necessary.
“You don’t need to be so rough.” I jerk out of his clutches. “I said I’d go with you.”
“Yeah, and you gave in pretty quickly.” He quirks an eyebrow at me as he leads the way to his car.
I let out a snort. “Don’t be too flattered. I just don’t want to go home yet.”
“Whatever, Puppet.” The nickname stings. It’s a cruel poison festering. I force myself to shake it off. Where is the guy I was just kissing? The one who made me feel like I was sixteen again with a full heart and hope for the future? Our future?
But it’s clear that his dickhead alter ego is back.
I take a deep breath and force myself to focus on the positives of the night. Xander finally looked at me like I wasn’t dog
shit on the bottom of his shoe. He spoke to me without any trace of disdain in his voice.
I mean, that’s something, right?
Good Lord, I really want it to be something…
Once we slink up to the parking lot and confirm for the last time that all is clear, I slide into the passenger’s seat of Xander’s Pontiac GTO Judge. My fingertips run over the buttery leather of the refurbished classic. I inhale the scent of the worn interior. It had been his dream car. “You finally got one.”
He turns the key, igniting the throaty engine. With a quick glance, he perked a brow over at me, questioning my statement.
“The Judge. You always talked about how badly you wanted one. I guess your dad finally did something right and rewarded you.”
Pulling out of the quiet lot, Xander finally speaks. “I worked for it. And trust me, it’s no reward. It’s a constant reminder.”
I have no idea what he means by that, but when I eye his profile, I can see that he doesn’t want follow-up questions. So I keep my lips zipped, even though I’m damn curious.
Once we make it to the Iazetti house, which is much bigger than I remember, a lump in the back of my throat forms. It’s been years since I was here, and it feels both comforting and foreign at the same time. Giant, commanding of respect, stoic. Not as menacing as my own house, but just as intimidating.
“Are you gonna get out?” Xander asks.
So much for chivalry.
“Yeah.” My fingers grip the handle, and I swallow hard.
Maybe this was a mistake.
Am I even ready to face who’s inside? What we’ll find out about Scarface?
We make our way into the house, me following closely behind Xander. He twists open the front door, and lively chatter from the kitchen carries into the high-ceilinged foyer. I strain my ears. Sounds like a bunch of guys. Must be friends of Jase.
If that’s the case, I definitely think I made the wrong move by coming here. Jase makes my skin crawl, and I can’t imagine any friends of his would have a different effect.
“Xander!” His oldest brother Phoenix rushes toward him, clapping him on the back. My lips curl into a smile. Phoenix hasn’t aged at all and he’s handsome as ever. I haven’t seen him since he left for Chicago four years ago. But the change of pace must be treating him well because he is just Swoon City now. “It’s about time you got home to welcome your big brother.” He backs away, peering past Xander at me. “Charlotte, is that you?”
Puppet: Ridgeview Prep Book 1 Page 12
