When Jean arrived home, she slammed her handbag on the floor and rushed straight to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of cold water to cool down. Emma had mastered the art of infuriating her. Why would Derek choose to confide in her? If they had problems then why didn’t he talk to her?
Jean understood that her having counselling and not telling Derek was not exactly being truthful. But she’d spoken to a therapist, not to her son’s widow—if she could call Emma a widow.
Sometime later, Jean heard the front door and a bag drop on the hall floor. When Derek emerged in the kitchen, where she was sitting at the table, nursing a coffee, he rubbed his hands together.
“I’m glad that shifts over.”
“I haven’t made anything to eat,” Jean said.
“That’s okay. That takeaway on the corner is still open. Shall I get something?”
“I went for a coffee with Emma today.”
“Really? That’s nice.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. I thought it might bridge the gap between us. How wrong was I?”
“What happened?”
“She brought me a blouse because she thinks I need a new wardrobe. Apparently, you’re not happy with the way I look.”
Derek looked at her oddly. “I never said that.”
“Don’t lie to me, Derek.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Where did she get that idea?”
Derek stumbled to get his words out. “I might have mentioned that you struggled with your weight and finding nice things to fit.”
Jean stood up. “I see.”
“It wasn’t malicious.”
“No, it was damn right stupid.”
Jean stormed into the living room. Derek followed her.
“She seemed to be concerned about you, as I was.”
“Emma isn’t concerned about me. The only person she cares about is herself. You know I’ve battled with my weight all my life. Now I’ve got some jumped up thirty-something giving me fashion advice.”
“She probably didn’t mean anything by it,”
“She knew exactly what she was doing.”
Jean could see in Derek’s eyes that he thought she was irrational. But, he wasn’t there in at that coffee shop. He didn’t see the look in Emma’s eyes as she delivered her venomous advice to Jean.
“I talked to Emma because I was worried about you. I never said I was unhappy with you, I’d never say that.”
“I don’t know what you’d do.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
The image of Derek laughing with that girl in the coffee shop flashed in Jean’s mind. “It means that you should never have trusted Emma.”
“She’s my son’s widow.”
“She’s not a widow! She’s a manipulative liar whom our son picked up on the rebound from Rebecca. Do you remember Rebecca? His actual wife?”
“This isn’t about Emma. Is it?” Derek asked. “This is about you. You can’t face the fact that Eddie has gone, and you’re using Emma as some sort of emotional punching bag.”
“I must have a word with Sierra. Seems you’d make a good therapist too.”
Derek shook his head. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”
“Why can’t you see what she’s really like?”
Derek stormed out of the living room and then Jean flew up the staircase behind him. They entered the bedroom.
“Anyone would think you were the first woman to have a child die.”
“Yes, I miss my son. And I would give anything to have him back. But that has nothing to do with Emma. There’s something about her that isn’t right. I wish you could see it.”
“All I can see is you making a fool of us.”
“Pardon?”
“You’re obsessed with Emma. You always have been.”
“That’s not true.”
“Ever since Eddie brought her home, you’ve been like a cat on hot bricks! Always nit-picking at everything she does. You’re driving me mad, Jean.”
“Oh, well if I’m driving you mad, then maybe you’d better sleep in the spare room tonight.”
“Fine by me.”
Derek stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door and leaving Jean on the edge of the bed.
Chapter 18
Derek said nothing the following morning. He left for work once he’d eaten his breakfast. Jean didn’t go to work. She couldn’t face it. She hadn’t slept, eaten, or showered. The thought of Emma and Charlie together in Eddie’s house made her nauseous. They’d disrespected Eddie’s memory. Tossed him aside as though he’d never existed.
Emma was deliberately hurting Jean. With her cunning, devious smiles and artfulness, she’d played the family well. Enjoying the control, she wielded over everyone gave Emma power. Side-lining Jean was a part of her game.
Sitting at the kitchen table, Jean gazed at the picture the boys had drawn of Emma and Charlie. Derek said they were just being kids. But, Jean read more into it than that. William and Jack liked Charlie. That meant trouble for Jean. A new father figure would alienate not only Jean but also her son, Eddie. She’d lose his boys for good.
Emma did not want Jean raising her grandchildren. Eddie would have wanted her to protect them. And Jean would not let him or his memory down.
“So how have you been, Jean?” Sierra asked.
Jean’s weekly meetings with Sierra had become a salvation. It was the only place she felt safe.
“I’ve gone back to work. I went back on Monday.”
“How was that?”
“I’m not sure now. I thought I was ready but now I feel on edge.”
Sierra opened her notebook and took notes. “Are you are okay with me taking notes?”
“Sure.”
“I want to see if there’s a pattern with your behaviour. Triggers, so to speak.”
“Triggers?”
“It is when something causes a negative response,” Sierra replied. “If I can diagnose what is triggering your panic attacks, then we can develop a plan of action to deal with them.”
Jean shook her head. She was sure what her main trigger was. It was Emma.
“What makes you feel on edge?” Sierra asked.
“I accused Derek of having an affair.”
“What made you think he was having an affair?”
“I saw him having lunch with another woman one afternoon. They looked very cosy together.”
“What was your husband’s response?”
“He told me I was overreacting, and it wasn’t how it looked. It was a business meeting. She was a client.”
“And, you don’t believe him?”
“It’s a likely story.”
“You don’t trust your husband?”
“Things are different now. They have been for a while since Emma arrived on the scene. She’s changed everything.”
The uncomfortable thoughts of Emma replayed in Jean’s mind. It was a vicious, never-ending cycle. Jean tried to crush her anxiety about her daughter-in-law and please those around to no avail.
It was Jean against everyone.
“Do you think he could be telling the truth?” Sierra asked.
“Maybe.”
“And what about your daughter-in-law? How do you feel about her now?”
“My feelings about Emma haven’t changed,” Jean said. “She’s having a relationship with a guy called Charlie. She’s told us this herself.”
“How does that make you feel?” Sierra asked.
“Horrified,” Jean admitted. “How dare she pretend Eddie never existed?”
“Maybe that’s her way of dealing with grief,” Sierra suggested.
Jean swallowed hard. “She should respect my family.”
Sierra’s forehead wrinkled. “How did your husband take the news?”
“Nothing ever bothers Derek.”
“What was your marriage like before?”
“Normal. Everything was normal before she came along.”<
br />
“You mean Emma?”
“Yes, I mean Emma. She didn’t care about my son. He should never have married her.”
Sierra wrote in her notebook and then sipped her coffee. “What about you and your husband? What was that like?”
“I just told you.”
“You told me about Emma.”
“It’s all relative,” Jean said. “Derek and I were doing okay. But she ruined everything.”
Sierra’s eyes narrowed, eyebrows pulling down in concentration. “Do you blame her?”
“What for?”
“For your son’s death.”
Jean asked herself this question many times. The day Eddie died, he’d viewed a new house with Emma in the countryside. Would her son be alive if Emma hadn’t pushed him into moving? Was she to blame for his death?
“I think she has caused problems for my family,” Jean said.
Sierra wrote in her notebook again. “So you’d say yes? You blame her?”
Jean thought for a moment. “I miss him.”
“Do you blame her?”
“Yes,” Jean blurted out. “I blame Emma for my son’s death.”
Jean drove to Emma’s house after she left Sierra’s office. As Emma had spotted her the last time, she had to be smart and park where Emma couldn’t see her. She stood behind the large tree at the corner of the street and watched a young man and woman standing in Emma’s front garden. When Emma opened the door, she hugged them and then led them into the house. Jean stood and watched for twenty minutes as more people arrived. Emma was having a party!
Where were the boys? They would have been home from school. Judging by the noise coming from the house, it was not the environment for children. Jean knocked on the front door. Charlie answered it. He wasn’t wearing a shirt—just jeans, a pair of tired looking moccasins on his feet, and a white towel draped over his shoulder.
“Hello Mrs. Saunders,” he said. “I was just—”
He covered his chest with the towel. Jean rolled her eyes in disgust.
“Can I speak to Emma, please?” Jean asked.
Before Charlie could answer, Emma shouted from the hall. “Who is it, Charlie?”
“It’s your mother-in-law,” Charlie answered.
Emma came to the door. “Hello Jean,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“That’s obvious,” Jean said. “Can I see my grandchildren?”
“They’re not here,” Emma replied.
“Where are they?”
“With a friend,” Emma said. “I’m just having a few friends over. It’s Charlie birthday. So I’ve arranged for them to stay with a babysitter.”
“Why didn’t you ask Derek and me?” Jean asked.
“I didn’t want to bother you both,” Emma said.
“Bother us? They’re our grandchildren.”
Charlie went back into the house. Emma folded her arms. “Look, Jean,” she said. ”Don’t make a fuss. It’s his birthday. I don’t want him upset.”
“You don’t want him upset?” Jean said. “What about me and Derek? Don’t our feelings count anymore?”
“Of course you matter,” Emma said. “But it’s obvious that you and Derek are having problems.”
“It’s not the impression he gave me,” Jean said. “I said Derek and I are fine. Emma, the boys need stability.”
“And I need a life,” Emma said. “But you don’t seem to understand that. Being a frustrated housewife may suit you, Jean. But, it’s not the life for me.”
“Hang on a minute!” Jean said.
“No, you hang on! I’m tired of this. You’re harassing me, and if it doesn’t stop, I’ll report you to the police. And then you’ll never see your precious grandsons again.”
Emma slammed the door in Jean’s face. Jean banged on the door and shouted but nobody answered. When she reached the end of the gate, she looked up at William’s and Jack’s bedroom window. She was sure she saw her grandsons looking at her. Then somebody closed the curtains.
Derek was sitting on the couch when Jean arrived home. He stood up and switched off the television.
“Where have you been?” Derek asked.
Derek sighed with exaggeration as he took off her coat and boots. “I went to see a friend.”
“I just got off the phone with Emma,” Derek said. “She told me what you did.”
“What do you mean what I did?”
“You threatened to take the boys away from her.”
“I threatened no one,” Jean protested. “She was having a party, so I thought the boys could come home with me. But they weren’t there--so she says. They were with a babysitter. She could have asked us. We’re their grandparents.”
“She doesn’t trust us,” Derek said. “I’m not surprised if you will pull stunts like that.”
“This is just another one of her games, Derek. The boys were there. I saw them at the bedroom window. She is trying to stop us from seeing them.”
“You!”
“What?”
“It’s you she doesn’t want to see them,” Derek said. “I saw them yesterday.”
Had she heard him correctly? “And you didn’t tell me?”
Derek brought his eyebrows closer together. “I thought it would upset you. Emma and I were worried about the effect Eddie’s death has had on you. You shouldn’t see the boys for a while.”
A sharp pain struck at the back of Jean’s throat. “You saw my grandchildren, and you didn’t tell me?”
Derek stumbled backwards and bumped into the dining table chair. “I didn’t want to worry you. Believe it or not, we have your best interests at heart.”
Jean’s stomach tightened. “My best interests? You and Emma plot against me behind my back and you have my interests at heart. ”
“Oh, believe what you want,” Derek said. “You’ve always been a control freak, Jean. You can’t just stand that your precious son chose Emma over you.”
Heat charged through Jean’s body. “That’s not true.”
“Before Rebecca died, she and Eddie were planning to move to Australia with the boys. Eddie was sick of your meddling. Her dad wanted them to come and live with him.”
“Eddie never mentioned it.”
“That’s because you would have talked him out of it. Ask Rebecca’s father in New Zealand if you don’t believe me. You’ve got his number. They couldn’t wait to get away from you. And sometimes, I know how they felt.”
Chapter 19
Jean wanted to speak to Emma so she went into the department store where she worked.
She and Derek were barely speaking and she didn’t want to jeopardise contact with the boys because of her personal feelings about Emma. What if Derek was right and Jean was being harsh on her? What if this was all in her head? Jean wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Emma was laughing with a colleague at the perfume counter. When she saw Jean approaching, her smile dropped.
"Morning," Jean said, nervously.
"Good morning, Jean. What can I do for you?"
The young woman she was with moved away and left them to it.
"I'm not here to buy anything," Jean said. "I was wondering if we could have a chat."
"I'm working."
"I know. I won't keep you long. I just wanted to apologise for the way things have been between us."
Emma tapped her finger on the counter. "I see."
"You do understand that’s it been really tough on me, and the whole family."
"It’s been tough on everyone."
“I know.”
“But you seem to think you’re the only one who has been affected by Eddie’s death.”
“I was his mother.”
“And I was his wife.”
"Emma, I'm trying to apologise."
"I know you are, and I accept it. But you asked me if I understood why you criticise everything that I do. The answer to that is no."
"I don't criticise everything you do, Emma."
&nbs
p; "That's how it comes across to me."
Jean's stomach tightened. "I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable."
"I'm doing my best, Jean. I'm raising your grandchildren, keeping your family together."
"Well, I'd hardly say—"
"And all you can do is judge me. That's not very charitable. You’re hardly in a fit state to be coping with everything on your own. You need me, Jean."
A deep ache snapped through Jean. This was typical. Emma was an expert at making Jean appear wrong.
"I think we’d better leave it there. You're obviously not ready to discuss this rationally.”
Jean was about to walk away. She couldn’t bear to hear anymore.
"You’ve treated me like dirt. Just because I’m younger than you. You’re jealous of me aren’t you?”
Jean glowered at her, her brows lowered. "How dare you."
“It’s true though isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t true.” Jean gripped her handbag and glanced around. She’d realised she’d been shouting.
"I need to get back to work," Emma said.
Jean nodded and walked away from the counter. She reached the entrance door and took a deep breath. Why did I come here? I knew she’d make a fool of me. I just knew.
Jean's eyes caught the shoe section. They had some slippers for sale, and Jean needed a pair. She walked towards a cream pair that she liked and picked them up. But, as she looked towards the perfume section, she saw Emma standing with Charlie.
They were laughing, and then he grabbed Emma and started kissing her. Jean didn't want them to see her. So, she made sure she was out of view, but could see what was going on.
After they'd finished kissing, Emma waved him off and Charlie walked out through the entrance. Jean put the slippers back and rushed out behind him quietly. She watched him walk towards the main road where all the buses were passing. When he turned to go up another road, Jean lost sight of him.
Going back into the store, she walked towards Emma’s perfume counter, but there was another girl there now. Jean looked around to see if she could spot Emma, but there was no sign of her. Digging inside her handbag, she took out of her mobile phone and started to call Derek’s office. But his receptionist said he in a meeting all morning.
The Perfect Wife Page 12
