by K. C. Hamby
I twist my lips to the side and bite the inside of my cheek. If I keep doing this, I’ll have a hole in the flesh by tomorrow. But Fal is right. I know that. It still makes me nervous, though. Taking the life of someone so close…my entire body shivers at the thought when we finally sit down on the log.
We say nothing for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence. I wiggle myself under Fal’s arm and rest my head on her chest. There is a happy grumble under my ear as she places her head tenderly on mine. My fingers gently brush along the tan skin of Fal’s muscular thigh.
I thought Fal was hot in jeans. And then she put on jean shorts.
Dammit if I didn’t almost drool the first time she wore them around me. Her lean, strong legs are so hot.
And her butt is fantastic.
The salty air blows around us, landing in my hair and on my skin. It’s nice right now. And the middle of fall. My hands grip onto the damp wood of the log. This is nice, just me and Fal staring at the beach like we are on vacation instead of living on an island with doggy assassins.
Three years ago, I would have never thought I would be on the beach in Greece with the love of my life. Much less being with the love of my life who turns furry and is a master assassin and living on a secret island in Greece made for the elite doggy assassins. And I’m the immortal Prophetess of a goddess.
My life is definitely wild.
“I’m excited for our trip to Oregon. I can’t wait to see my daddy,” I tell Fal, smiling at the thought of the big bad Charlie Crawford sizing up Fal when they meet.
“Yeah?” she asks, peering down at me and running her fingers over the exposed skin of my back.
“Yeah. It’s been forever and I’m ready for you to meet him.”
I’m still grinning when Fal wiggles uncomfortably at my side.
“Nina?” Fal asks, pushing sand around with her black converses. A tiny crab scurries away from the raining bits of sand as Fal’s foot acts like Godzilla to his home.
“Mhmm?”
“Do you ever regret meeting me?”
I pull away from her so I can watch her face. She’s trying to keep her features impassive, but she’s never been good at hiding her emotions from me. She blinks a few too many times and swallows hard enough for me to hear the nerves crawling down her throat.
I squint at her, lips pulling into a confused frown. “Why would you ask me that?”
She sighs and smooths runaway hairs from her face. “Because you uprooted your entire life to be with me. I took you away from a safe life and threw you basically into a fucking inferno. You left the country you were born in for me. You used to be able to go see your dad a lot, even though he was a state away. Luna isn’t with you anymore and I know you said she was like an emotional support animal...”
“I could argue that you are my emotional support animal now.”
She tries to hide her amusement, but the corner of her lip lifts to spite her. “Come on, babe. Be serious.”
“Fine. Fun-sucker.” I look away from her and stare out at the blue water glittering under the sun. Thanks to Persephone’s gift of immortality and the traits I gained being Mated to Fal, my eyes are not sensitive anymore and adjust to the blinding light very quickly. “I did have a safe life before you, that’s true. I do miss being able to see my dad more, but that’s a part of getting older and having a life of my own. It would have happened eventually.”
Fal watches intently as I think about her question, anxiety flowing over me through our bond. My hands shake from it, so I clasp them together and rub the calluses; they scratch against each other enough to give me the willies.
“I had a lot of issues before I met you. Sure, my life was ‘safe’ by your standards, but I honestly hated it. I was lonely a lot and I think, for me, the worst place I can be is alone with my thoughts. Depression was always there in the back of my mind, waiting to strike at a moment’s notice. I had a few friends, but you saw what happened when I tried to have a best friend.”
Fal growls, obviously thinking about the ‘friend’ who almost killed me when we first got together: Sara.
I smile at the memory of spying Fal across the bar of the Paint Can. She was so broody and beautiful, and I couldn’t help watching her lips as she sipped on her watered-down drink.
“When I met you, you were so damn mysterious. You saved me from that guy and acted like it was no big deal that you absolutely kicked his ass. You cared if I was okay even though I know it peeved you when the guy ran off.”
She laughs and twists her open mouth oddly, her brows bouncing up. “Yeah, you have no idea.”
I brush my hair from my eyes and push her a little with my shoulder. “Anyway, when I found you a day or so after, I was so excited. Before that, I thought you were going to be my secret savior and I would never see you again. Even in the short amount of time between you saving me and seeing you again, you were in my dreams and I would wake up with such a need to just see you. And then I kept running into you all the time in person. I was less lonely when I got to talk to you, even when you were being a jerk.”
She laughs and shakes her head. “I’ve never had anyone want to talk to me before. Except for Ash and Nathan. It was weird and I didn’t know how to handle it. I had and still have the social skills of a baked potato.”
“That, and you just were a jerk.”
“Okay, yeah. That’s fair,” she gives with a shrug and a wink.
“But I just wanted to be around you. And I saw you. I saw the real you under your mask however briefly you showed me, and I wanted to know that person. I wanted you to let me in. And you did let me in, but god, it was like coaxing a feral cat to take a piece of food from my hand.” I laugh at my own comparison and brush my finger over my bottom lip, picking at the dry skin the sun so generously bestowed upon me. When a thought hits, my smile drops in an instant. “I hated you, you know.”
“You…what..?” Panic paints itself in various colors of pink on her cheeks.
“When you left, I hated you. I was so hurt you could just leave me like that and not come back, so I forced myself to hate you. It lasted about a month before I realized I couldn’t. I already loved you.”
It was horrible being without her. I was in emotional and physical pain. Now I know the physical was because of our Mate bond. Rolling around on the floor and grabbing my head thinking it was going to explode is not something I’ll soon forget.
Fal grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles, watching me with her wonderfully different eyes. Eyes I wouldn’t change for the best pizza in the universe.
“You’ve made my life scary and crazy,” I tell her, and she stills, anxiety and guilt taking turns flickering on her face. “But I have never been surer about myself or where I’m supposed to be. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Of course, I don’t regret meeting you, Faligator.”
Her smile is wide and beautiful and I’m so thankful she has started doing it more. It’s wonderful and home for me. She reminds me of the most fantastic night sky, clear and full of bright stars blinking at me as I lie beneath their light wondering how I could end up seeing something so amazing right in front of my eyes.
“What about you? Do you regret meeting me?”
“Not one goddamn day,” she whispers without an ounce of hesitation and kisses my lips, a softness on her skin when it touches mine. A softness she only reserves for me.
Chapter 4
Ash
“Come on, don’t be afraid of the goddamn thing, Ash.”
I roll my eyes at the orange-haired Lilith as she stares at me with that teasing, deeply-freckled smirk of the devil. Her emerald eyes flash in a challenge when I scrunch up my face as my reply.
“I’m not afraid of the high hat. It’s just loud, Lilith.” I smack the cymbals with my drumsticks and curl a brow at her.
She snorts and waves me off. “Did you really think drums were ever supposed to be a quiet instrument? Dude, you’ve been playing for over a year or so, right? Surely yo
u’re used to it by now.”
I sigh and glance down at the worn drumsticks in my hands. She’s right. They’ve become all too familiar.
“Leave the lad be, lass. He’s doin’ magically.” Eddie steps up beside Lilith and winks at me.
I can’t help but kiss the air in her direction in answer.
“Yeah yeah. Whatever.” Lilith walks back over to the stand where she left her bright purple bass and picks it up with a light touch. She turns around and points a finger at her open mouth, gagging.
I huff and glance back to Eddie. She’s smiling softly with her golden irises glittering. She walks closer and leans across the bass drum and tom toms of the sparkly black drum set in front of me and bites her lip. Her torn Van Halen cropped-top just happens to fall away from her chest, giving me a gander at her cleavage. I growl low.
“Don’t do that.”
All she does is smile with that damn lip in her teeth.
Torturous woman.
She cackles. “Ashy, you’re gonnae be fine. This is the first gig for everyone. Not just you, silly lad.”
“I know, I know. But you guys have been playing together for a long time.” I look over to Corin, big and muscular with skin dark as night, strumming away on his cherry red Les Paul guitar. “I’ve only been playing for the last year.”
“And you’re a damn natural, mo chridhe.”
My heart.
I blow a hard breath from my nose. “You’re biased.”
“Ach,” her head tilts to the side and she reaches out to push my chin up with her guitar string-callused fingers. “Biased I may be, but I’m not lyin’. I am bein’ serious. You’re magic. I’m proud of you.”
My cheeks heat as a seductive smile plays on her lips and the cloud of doubt leaves my mind with the heat of her fingers. I arch a brow at her for healing me, but she just winks and heads back to her microphone and gray Superstrat guitar.
“Mm, don’t forget I’m a damn superstar at advertising,” Lilith sings, turning around to look at me with her crazy eyes, orange hair flying around her head in some loose form of a ponytail. All the freckles on her face move with her growing smirk. “The place is going to be packed.”
“Lil,” Corin sighs and rubs his face, voice deep and scolding. He glances at my wide eyes and back to his asshole of a Mate. “You’re not helping him feel better.”
“Hey, I’m just telling him what he should be prepared for, you know.” She shrugs and looks back over to me. “It’s not my job to make him feel better.” She locks those emerald eyes on my face. “Don’t be such a pussy.”
I choke on my spit. “Don’t use your patriarchal name calling on me,” I demand at Lilith with a slightly playful sneer. “We are all feminists in here.”
Her face falls into a look of pure disappointment, crossing her arms over her chest. “Excuse me, I have a pussy, so I can do whatever I want with the word.”
I blink several times, not genuinely believing I heard what I heard.
“Goddess,” Corin curses, confirming it was real and my face heats, my mouth open wide.
Lilith cackles like a witch and turns back around.
I should have known better than to cross her.
Being in The Wølf PΛck—Yes. The Wolf Pack—band is pretty dope, even though I’m slightly terrified of performing in front of actual people. When Corin first asked a little over a year ago, I told him I didn’t know how to play drums. Any instrument for that matter other than my steering wheel.
Lilith got this evil grin, as she does, and told me she could teach me.
Of course, I asked her why she couldn’t just play the drums herself, but she waved me off and said she likes playing bass guitar better. Something about being able to dance around and all that.
But hell. She was a good teacher. Surprisingly, she was patient. I don’t think she got annoyed with me even once.
At least, not to my knowledge.
So, here we are in the basement of the armory turned practice space, working hard for our first gig in Athens tomorrow night even though we are down a pianist.
We’ve practiced a lot since Kiyana left Olympia about six months ago. She was asked to take over as Pack Alpha for a Pack in the EU when their previous one was killed in a raid. It kinda blows band-wise, but if I’m being honest, I’m glad she’s not around to flirt with Eddie anymore. I think it would drive me mad.
I’m a pickup truck of fucking nerves, though. Especially since Lilith just dropped that nice little tidbit on my head. I’ve never done anything outside of being Lupi; be that Voίtheia—the ones that clean up the scenes of the assassinations—or assassin life. It’s weird doing something for fun and just because I want to other than hanging out at a bar. It’s never really been an option before.
But just because it’s fun, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to hide in a corner and wet myself with anxiety.
Meanwhile, Eddie is as cool as a cucumber, excited and taking away all the doubt in my mind when she gets a spare chance with her healing touch.
She strums a few testing notes on her guitar before looking back to me and smiling.
Goddess, she is beyond beautiful and mesmerizes me every time she opens her mouth to sing or her fingers dance across the fretboard of that guitar. It took a while for me to get used to it without stopping my drumming in the middle of a song to stare at her.
Embarrassing.
“A’rite you bampots. Let’s go.” Eddie turns around and waits for me to start. I hit the drumsticks together three times before we all get into it.
Corin strums a rock riff and Lilith beats the strings of her bass like a kid at Christmas. Eddie joins in with her guitar and walks up to the mic. She dives into the song with her hauntingly raspy voice and stupid goosebumps race up my moving arms.
“My demons follow me and
I just can’t run away.
I’m different than I was,
Apart from my disarray.”
“Need me for who I am,” Corin joins in. “Hold me and keep me here.”
“I’m clutching on,” Eddie drawls, “To everything.”
I beat on the drums and pause with everyone else.
And Lilith does an incredibly dramatic jump.
“Keep me from giving in.
I’m barely hanging on.
Please see me as I am,
And forget all my scars.
I’m terrified to lose.
So, I’m clinging on to you.” Eddie turns around to smile at me with a wink.
“And I can’t let go.
Even if I’m barely hanging on.”
The song goes on like this for a few minutes and I do an obnoxious drum solo to finish that makes Lilith roll her eyes nearly into the back of her demented head. I just grin at myself as my beats vibrate up my arms. I really am pretty good.
Once the song is over, Corin turns around with his big smile, giant hand resting gingerly on the neck of his guitar.
“Rad, dude,” he cheers and nods to me.
“I know,” I joke and hit the cymbals, raising my brows a few times at a cackling Lilith.
Chapter 5
Falen
I wring my hands together, trying to dissipate the sweat that’s been clinging to them the whole walk to the armory where The Wølf PΛck practices in the basement.
Nina said she wanted to take a nap because Ash’s class wore her out. She was avoiding my gaze like the plague when she said it, so I know it was a lie. But that’s okay. I trust her.
I have some scheming of my own to do anyway.
But I can’t believe Ash is in a band. I made fun of him for pretending to play the drums on his steering wheel all the time and singing PennyForward like a dying bird, but now he can play. Like...impressively well.
I suppose a year and a half to practice helped a lot.
The singing though…that still sounds like a cracked-out cat about to beat the shit out of something trying to steal its food. At least he isn’t required to join in the
harmonizing.
We’ve been living on Olympia for a little over a year and a half. Things have pretty much calmed down since the first couple of weeks. Nina has settled into her position as part of the High Council and as Hecate’s Prophetess. She’s kicking ass when it comes to sparring. I’ve been going on missions around Greece at least once a week, going as far as across the Aegean Sea to Turkey. Eddie and I are friends. Really good friends. Corin is my best friend even though he is currently always with Lilith. Which…they are Mates. I completely understand.
It’s fine though. Lilith and I are seriously good friends as well. I think best friends would be putting it strongly and she’d probably punch me in the face if I labelled us as such. But we are decently close. She understands the Monster pacing in my blood because she has her own demons.
She’s not ready to tell me all about her Monster, but that’s okay. When she does talk about her struggles she’s had since she was younger with me, I can’t help but be relieved knowing I’m not alone in my bloodthirsty thoughts.
But I’m glad she’s not throwing all her demons at me at once. I’m still too awkward and socially inept to know how to properly deal with information like that, anyway. I mean, I’m learning, but my progress is as slow as a turtle without feet trying to cross a highway littered with cars aiming to run it over.
But everything has fallen into place around here.
Except for me.
I peer at my nervous fingers picking at my nails as I walk across Olympia. I’m a fucking wreck, but when I get a glimpse at the four lines marked on my left trigger finger, it calms me a little.
I added a line. Before, there were three for each point Nathan got on me while I was training him. But he got me again when I was down in the Elysian Fields over a year ago, so I figured it should count.
I shake my head, smiling a little at the kid I miss so much it hurts. But I’ll see him again. I know I will.
But it will either be because I’m dead or…
I have been avoiding it all this time; the news of my fate is a darkened cloud growing heavier with a raging storm as the seconds, minutes…months tick by.
