The Fire of the Fated (The Chosen Series Book 3)

by K. C. Hamby

  Nina stiffens.

  She hates talking about her mom. And now she’s being compared to her? Not good.

  Her dad shakes himself of whatever memory he was experiencing and furrows his brows. “I was ‘bout to leave to get some groceries for dinner and then get ya from the airport.”

  “Well, surprise! I lied about the flight and we actually took an earlier one,” Nina explains, picking at her fingernails behind her back. One of her tells.

  “You lied? Nini, you’ve never been good at lyin’.” He squints, fake suspicion in his bright eyes.

  She giggles to fill the silence—not wanting to lie more and get caught—before turning to me with her face wary and begging.

  “Daddy. This is Falen Thanatos.”

  My full name seems weird coming from her soft lips. She’s always called me Fal or Faligator.

  And she used my real last name.

  “Fal, this is my dad, Charlie Crawford.”

  Act like Fal.

  “Hi. It's nice to finally meet you, Charlie.” I wave awkwardly and give him a hopefully not full-of-bullshit smile.

  His brows raise before he reaches out a hand. I swallow hard before I take it in mine, but he pulls me into a bone crushing hug instead of shaking like I thought. The breath pushes out of my lungs at the unexpected embrace.

  “So, ya gonna be my daughter-in-law, huh? Welcome to the family.”

  The hug is full of so much happiness, it's nearly choking me, but I don't mind much. He seems to be a nice man. And Nina loves him. He raised her. He helped make her who she is, so he must be something special.

  “Thank you,” I mutter, my face heating when he finally lets me go.

  “Well, come on in! Let me not be rude and make ya stand on the porch.”

  Luna yips and shoves in the door between his muscular legs.

  He chuckles, slapping me on the back with a friendly hand, and looks at the ground. “Uh, where are your bags?”

  Shit.

  “Oh, I left them in hiding so we could surprise you. Let me go get them,” I explain before Nina has a chance to blubber some very bad excuse. I’m a whole hell of a lot better at lying.

  Smooth, Nina whispers in my mind.

  My eyes widen and snap to hers. She can still communicate through the bond. I…thought We couldn’t do that anymore. I thought that ability snapped when my humanity did even though I’ve felt the bond occasionally. I mean, it’s not like we have spoken through the bond since I Burned. I thought…

  My mouth falls open as I watch her. Her eyes grow wide.

  You heard me?

  Yes.

  I compose myself and wink at her before I trot back to the woods.

  I haven’t lost Nina. I haven’t lost Nina. I repeat it to myself with every step away from her I take. I still have the pieces of me that mean the most. The pieces that keep me with my Mate.

  I can’t be a lost cause.

  My blend into the darkness of the trees is swift after I make sure Nina’s dad can’t see me disappear into a fucking cloud of dissolved and smokey me.

  I Move to our apartment, grab our bags, and Move back to the woods behind the house as quickly as possible. Less than a minute, surely.

  Because, of all the things I am, I am not slow.

  I jog toward the porch with our luggage in tow in each arm.

  “Do, uh, ya need help?” Charlie asks as he watches me carry two suitcases and my bag with ease. He crosses his arms over his chest, a little impressed, I think. “I know Nini can’t pack light to save her life.”

  “Oh, no. I’m okay,” I say. “Thanks though,” I add quickly so I don’t sound like a dick. I’m not sure I succeeded, but Charlie doesn’t look at me weird like people normally do when I talk, so maybe I’m good.

  “The government has ya all strong and hardy, huh? Probably got ya on a rigorous physical activity schedule. I remember I used to be in great shape when I was in the Army,” Charlie tells me as I pass him and walk into the house.

  “Daddy, what are you talking about? You’re in good shape now!” Nina jokes and pats his slightly rounded belly.

  Charlie snorts. “If round is a shape, then yeah, Nini.”

  I hold in a snort of my own. This is where Nina got her sense of humor from, that’s for sure. But her dad is in no way out of shape. His biceps are almost as big around as my head.

  “Where should I put these?” I ask, holding up the bags when no one directs me anywhere.

  “Oh, sorry, babe,” Nina apologizes and trots over to me. “I’ll show you my old room. Come on.”

  I follow Nina down a hallway and into a room smelling of old lavender. Not bad at all, just obvious Nina hasn’t been here in a while and the air hasn’t been disturbed.

  My stomach twists when I remember I’m the reason she has been away.

  The first thing I notice when I walk in is a big, fluffy bed covered in a white comforter and horse blankets of a lot of colors. There is a mosquito net hanging over all of it.

  “Mosquitos come in here?” I ask as I place the bags on the floor. I listen for the normal annoying buzzing of those Tartarus-born pests, but I come up empty.

  “What?” Nina asks and follows my gaze to the net. She cackles. “No, Fal. It’s just decoration.”

  “Ah,” I grunt, not really getting why you would use such a thing as decoration, but I don’t know shit about decorating, so I keep my mouth shut.

  Nina’s walls are a dusty green and covered in book quotes and pictures in various frames. I look at them, gobbling up these glimpses into a past Nina.

  There are a lot of her and her dad. Some from when she was young. I smile at a picture of Charlie, a little less gray, holding a little Nina in the air as they get to the end of a waterslide. Her skin is pink from the sun and she is giggling, arms raised in a cute pink bathing suit.

  I stop at another picture of Nina and Charlie. Nina looks to be maybe eight with happy, rounded cheeks and is holding a little kitten in her tiny hands. She has a huge smile on her face as Charlie squats beside her, laughing at the kitten because its mouth is open like it’s trying to smile too.

  I move around the room looking at all the memories captured in a moment and my heart warms at how adorable and happy Nina was.

  And then I get to another picture. Nina is older, probably around fifteen or sixteen, and Charlie is giving her a side hug, smiling outrageously at the camera.

  Nina is smiling too, but it doesn’t light up her face like in the other pictures. Her eyes are dark, and skin is pale. There is no life in her stance. Instead, she looks uncomfortable. Like she would jump out of her skin if she could. She’s wearing long sleeves even though Charlie is wearing shorts and a short-sleeved t-shirt.

  This is part of the time she was being abused by Daniel. It must be.

  “So, this is my room,” Nina mutters, grabbing my attention. She spreads her arms out and twirls a second, a nervous smile on her lips.

  I walk over and pull her into my arms, nuzzling my face in her hair.

  “Oh, okay,” she giggles and hugs me hard right back.

  Goddess, I wish I could have helped her then. I know I didn’t know her, but the picture just really put into perspective the affect the abuse had on her. She wasn’t the bright and happy Nina I know. She was a shell of a person.

  “I love you,” I whisper into her wonderful smelling hair.

  “I love you, Faligator. So much.”

  “You girls ready for me to make dinner?” Charlie asks, coming down the hall and standing in Nina’s room’s doorframe. His eyes are wide and watering like he can’t believe she is here in this room again.

  Nina’s stomach growls extremely loud.

  “The stomach has spoken,” Charlie says, laughing as he makes his way back down the hall. “Nini, ya gotta help me with the shoppin’ list.”

  “Come on,” Nina mutters, slight embarrassment on her cheeks.

  “Hold on, let me hang your clothes in the closet at least,” I argue
, needing something to do with my hands so I can work out this weird mood the picture put me in.

  “Okay, sure. You’re the best,” she giggles and kisses me on the cheek before bounding down the hall.

  I shake my head with a chuckle and throw Nina’s first heavy suitcase on the bed to unpack.

  By the time I’m done with one bag, the closet is nearly full.

  “Goddess,” I grumble. She may have only brought two suitcases, but she stuffed four suitcases worth of clothes in each bag.

  I lift the empty suitcase to put on the top shelf in the closet, but the space isn’t as big as I thought it was. When I shove it into place, it knocks a small box off and onto the floor.

  “Shit.”

  I grab it and move to put it away, but the strange sound the contents make have me stopping. I shake the box a little, and it sounds like rocks or plastic or something is inside.

  I know I shouldn’t snoop. My conscience is screaming at me not to, but…

  It’s a dark wooden box, carved with a star on the top. That’s it, nothing fancy. The top pops open when the magnets keeping it closed spring apart. It stays attached to the box with little hinges on the other side of the lid.

  I’m confused at first because it seems like a random assortment of things, but a smell I know hits me.

  Pot.

  My eyes widen as I pick up the little clear baggy of marijuana. I didn’t know Nina used to smoke.

  What the hell?

  I place it back in the box and soon after find a pink bowl pipe thing she must have used to smoke it in. The ash in the indented part confirms my guess. There is a blue lighter and some crumbs in the bottom of the box, too.

  My fingers freeze before touching anything else, hovering in the air.

  There is a small, red box that reads Single Edge Razor Blades, 5 blades included.

  And there is gauze, rubbing alcohol, peroxide, band-aids, needles, scissors, a pen, and folded up notebook paper that looks like it’s been read over a thousand times if the worn creases are to be believed.

  I sit on the bed and place the box on my lap, pulling out the paper. It’s soft to my hands from years of folding and unfolding, reading, and putting away. When I open it, I recognize Nina’s handwriting, albeit a little messier and more juvenile than it is now.

  It’s dark in here and I can’t stand the silence. It’s lonely in these shadows covering my mind. I don’t know how I got here in this place of seclusion and I’m afraid I’ll never find my way out.

  I don’t understand what I did to end up here; this cavern is big and too steep to climb. I’m tired and I don’t think I have the energy to leave or can make the time.

  It’s not so bad here, if I don’t feel think too much. It’s so much easier than facing what’s out there; what could come and eat me alive. Once the monster is released from such a short sentence, he will come for me and not because of forgiveness repentance.

  I can’t stand another day living in this darkness. I don’t want to be here, dragged into the light. Maybe heaven is a place in the middle, not lonely but not overwhelming. But where I am now is hell and it’s become too much.

  There are too many voices in my head, screaming, whispering. All the voices familiar, all of them demeaning.

  Wanderer don’t be hurt scared, you’ve gotten through the worst. At least he is gone now, Wanderer, you can let go of the hurt. Maybe you wanted what you got, Wanderer, and now you seek payment. Dear Wanderer, why didn’t you tell anyone sooner? Why didn’t you talk? He never would have hurt you if you had told him to stop.

  And what if I did and he didn’t care? Isn’t that something to consider? Because I promise you, he didn’t. The monster laughed at my tears and told me not to speak. He told me not to make a sound, but he never knew when I would silently weep.

  That’s what I’ve done for years now, caving in on myself. I’m not the Wanderer I thought I was. That Wanderer has been lost. I don’t need want her. I don’t want anything but to leave this place.

  So that’s what I’ll do. No one needs me here anyway. The burden I am now will soon fade away. No more tears, no more pain for me. Don’t worry about your Wanderer. Because now, she can finally sleep.

  I stare at the page long after I finish reading. Tears are making their way down my cheeks and join the many teardrop stains smearing black ink everywhere on the paper. I knew she wanted to end her life. She told me so herself and I’ve seen those deep scars on the inside of her wrists.

  But I didn’t know it was this bad.

  “Hey, Fal! Daddy is running into town to grab some stuff,” Nina calls, moving toward me from the hallway. “Anything you want him to…get…?”

  She’s standing at the door now, fear stricken as she stares at me. I haven’t been able to move, really. The page is still in my hand and tears still flow from my eyes, lines of sorrow for the person I love more than anything. Watery traces of sadness because I couldn’t help her. She was alone, all alone, with no one to hold her and tell her it was okay.

  “Um, she doesn’t want anything, Daddy!” Nina yells down the hall, still frozen in the doorframe, hand gripping the wood so tightly her fingers are white and her knuckles red.

  Charlie yells something in return and the back door opens and closes.

  Nina and I stare at each other for a long time.

  “Where did you get that?” she whispers, eyes now on the box in my lap.

  “I was putting the suitcase away, but there was less room than I anticipated, so it got knocked on the floor. I know I shouldn’t have snooped…” I say and stare down at the box. “Nina I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have looked.”

  She doesn’t say anything. She just stares, eyes wide and terrified.

  “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to help you. To wrap you in my arms and protect you from everything you went through. I’m sorry you were alone. I’m so so sorry.” I’m breathless and my hands shake as I hold the paper. I should put it down. I should put the box away. I should…

  Nina’s face reddens like it does before she goes into a crying fit. Her lip quivers uncontrollably and tears dribble from her red eyes. Her closed fist comes up to her chest like she’s protecting her heart before leaning against the doorframe and sliding to the floor.

  “You weren’t supposed to see it,” she barks out a sob, and I push the box aside, dropping to the floor myself and crawling until I am right beside her.

  “Shh,” I coo and wrap her up in my embrace as if she’s breaking and I need to hold all her pieces together. She clings to me, mouth open and breath ragged with sobs, and I pull her into my lap as I rock her back and forth. “Nina, Nina, it’s okay.”

  “No, no Fal, no, you don’t understand. I…that box…I…”

  I kiss the top of her head because she is sobbing so much she can’t speak, and I rest my cheek on her hair. “Nina, breathe. You’re okay. We’re okay. Just try to breathe.”

  She tries. I know she does, but the body-shaking sobs don’t stop for a while. I rock her and hum a song my mom used to sing around the house all the time. It always used to calm me. Maybe it can help Nina.

  The sobs eventually lessen until they are only little sniffles every now and then. I dig into my pocket and pull out a tissue, handing it to Nina’s shaking hands.

  Being her Mate has taught me one thing: always be prepared for snotty tears.

  She takes it from me slowly, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose, all while still in my arms.

  “I forgot the box was there, honestly,” she mumbles, leaning into my chest. “I haven’t used it in a while. I promise. Not since…”

  She shows me the deep scars on her forearms for an explanation.

  “I have kept it to remind myself how far I’ve come and how I’m not that person anymore. I can recite that note word for word because I have read it so many times. I think the last time I saw it was right before I met you when I came and visited my dad.”

  “What is the stuff in the box?” I ask e
ven though I know the answer. I just want to hear it from Nina.

  She sighs and leans her head back against my shoulder. “It’s my cutting box. Where I hid all the sharp things I used and everything I needed to clean myself up. And the pot.”

  “I didn’t know you smoked.”

  “I don’t anymore. I think you would know if I did, Fal,” she scolds, but it’s playful even in her sorrow. “I used to when I was going through everything. It would help me just…be. I didn’t have to think about bad things because I was so high, I would just sit around and do nothing. No thoughts. Nothing. It helped at the time, or I thought it did. But all I was doing was pushing my pain off for future me to deal with. Future me didn’t handle it well, obviously.”

  I pull her close and breathe in her wonderful scent. She’s like a soft Spring morning, beautiful and full of life and love and growth. She’s come a long way from that letter. I don’t know the person who wrote it. It’s not the Mate I have in my lap right now and I think that’s the point. She wanted to leave that person behind and become someone new, someone who rises from the ashes of her past and breathes fire into the life she’s always deserved.

  “Do you hate me?” I murmur against her hair.

  She pulls away and looks me in the eyes, hers so bright and crystalline, all it would take for me to be blinded would be a flash of light.

  “I could never hate you, Fal. Never. I’m not mad at you either. If I were you, I would have snooped too. I’m way too nosy for my own good.” She laughs at herself quietly, letting her damp lashes brush gently against her freckled cheeks.

  She smiles a little, keeping her teeth hidden behind her rosebud lips, and freckled dimples dip into her cheeks.

  Goddess, she is beautiful. Every time she smiles, I can taste the kindness waiting on her tongue and get a small glimpse of the sharp and wonderful mind behind her eyes. She is wild beauty and strength in a single breath and even more with a lifetime of breathing in her wonderful soul. She’s an adventure with soft skin covered in constellations so magnificent the sky couldn’t hold them and decided they should belong to her. And she is forever the sun in my too dim sky, shining a light on all the parts of me I feared, and shows me those parts can be loved, too.