by K. C. Hamby
“Daddy,” Nina starts, and we slowly stand.
This prompts Charlie to scramble onto his feet and grab the gun like his only lifeline. My fingers tighten on Nina’s shoulders.
“Nini, I need you to come here,” he commands and the Alpha in me bristles.
He wants my Mate to leave my side.
He wants to take away what is rightfully ours, the Monster snarls in my thoughts.
“Why?” Nina asks after looking at me with doe eyes wide.
“Ya aint safe,” he mutters, glaring at me.
Nina’s energy changes to anger around us in an instant. The Monster pauses within me, watching, purely mystified.
“I am perfectly safe right where I’m at, thank you very much.” She takes a step away from me and she whispers softly to herself, “shift.”
And she shifts into her wolf form.
“Nini!” Charlie screams and stumbles backwards. And then he is back to glaring at me before marching in my direction. “What did ya do to her?”
Before I can respond in my defense and immense confusion, Nina takes a few vicious steps toward Charlie, slightly baring her teeth. It makes him stop in his tracks and watch Nina with wary eyes.
“What the hell is going on?” he screams, and it echoes throughout the trees. Ravens rise from their perches at the sound and ascend into the skies.
Selene steps in, hands raised like she wants to comfort him. “Charlie, I promise you this is nothing to be afraid of…”
“Ya know about this? Why am I the only one sane here?”
Fal, this is going badly, Nina whispers to me.
I nod, not really knowing what to say because…she’s right.
Nina quickly shifts back to her person and walks very slowly to her dad, hands out and open in submission.
I want to grab her and run. I don’t like how unstable Charlie is with that gun in his hand. He already almost shot her once…
“Daddy look at me. I’m fine…”
“Nina, ya turned into a freakin’ dog! Ya aint fine!” His eyes are wide a little like he is on the brink of a total mental breakdown.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
“Daddy! Look at me!” Nina commands, slipping Alpha power into her voice. It rolls over the clearing, vibrating the air around us and tingling against my skin.
I didn’t think humans responded to Alpha power, but after a slight hesitation, Charlie complies.
And his face slackens.
Wait…
I’ve seen that look, but…
“You will not remember anything about what you just saw. You did not see me or Fal turn into wolves. You did not see a wolf almost attack me.”
“Nina…” I whisper, but she promptly silences me with a wave of her hand.
“You came outside because you and Selene heard Fal and I talking. You have your gun because you wanted to see how good of a shot Fal is and you wanted to show off your skills in front of Selene,” Nina whispers and sniffles before the energy popping in the air dies down.
I walk up, moving to hug Nina, but she slams into my arms before I can.
“Shhh, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” I kiss the top of her head as she cries into my shirt.
Nina just took away her father’s memories.
She straightens up after a few seconds, wiping tears from her face with the back of her hand, and faces her dad. Other than her red eyes, she looks as normal as she usually does around him.
Charlie blinks out of his dazed and energy-induced confusion.
“Oh, hey Fal! I was just lookin’ for ya.” He glances to the rifle in his hand. “Wanted to see how ya handle one of these. Nini has never been one for shootin’ but figured ya knew your way around a gun.”
I push a smile onto my lips and squeeze Nina’s hand once. I hope its’s not my horribly sour fake smile I usually pull off with ultimate finesse.
I mean, the man shot me. I’m finding it extremely difficult not to be upset.
“Something like that,” I answer. “You have a range we can use?”
He snorts, shaking his head. “I usually use this clearing here and set up targets over there.” He points across the clearing. “I hide ‘em behind the trees when I’m not usin’ ‘em.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll go set them up, then. Nina? Want to help?” I ask, needing to pull her away from this situation for even a minute.
“Sure,” she mutters and follows me to the other side of the clearing and into the trees.
Sure enough, the targets are here, but I take my time gathering them.
“What did I just do?” Nina whimpers and I turn to her red, swollen eyes. “I shouldn’t have done that…I…I..”
“Whoa, hey.” I release my hold on the targets and jog up to her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You had a hard situation in front of you and you made the best decision you could. Your dad wasn’t handling it well and was also realizing he shot me when he thought he was protecting you.”
“I know, but that was so horrible of me to do! I took away his choice. I took away his memories, Fal.”
“You were protecting him, Nina. I understand why it feels wrong, but you made the best decision. If you want to eventually tell him about me, us, and all of this, I’ll stand by you. But I don’t think that was the best way for him to find out about everything.”
She sniffles a little, eyes wide when she looks back at me. “You would let me tell him?”
“Let you? Nina, this involves you now, too. You are Lupi. This is your world just as much as it is mine. And you know I’m always going to have your back. If you want to tell him, I’m with you. I’ll always be with you.”
She seems to calm a bit as she stares at the ground. Nina doesn’t like not having control over situations like this, so giving her back the power to choose is the best thing I can do for her. She can control when she tells him. She can do it in her own time.
“Okay. I’m okay.”
I’m not sure if she is telling me or herself as she nods her head.
“Are you okay? He shot you.”
I swallow hard. I’ve been shot before. Of course, it was in my shoulder at point-blank range and not my heart. I think it was worse because it was so unexpected. Possibly also because the heart is kind of a vital organ. But I felt safe here with Nina and I almost died anyway.
Well…I guess I wasn’t going to die. Not in the literal sense. I am the goddess of Death, so I don’t actually die. Not like mortals do. Not like other deities. My soul will enter a Purgatory of sorts, neither in Elysia or Tartarus. If I don’t survive long enough to pass on the title of Thanatos some millions of years from now, I will be stuck in this place of temporary stasis until the title is given to someone else. And, once the title is passed on, my soul will…just cease to be.
I’m not exactly sure how I know this. It’s not like Hades, Hecate, or Silas told me. I didn’t seek out the information on my own. I just…when that bullet hit me and I went down, I just knew my soul would not survive in its whole form, the energy of my being dispersing through the universe.
Never to be a whole Fal again.
Something Nina doesn’t need to know or worry about right now.
“Fal?” she prods. “Talk to me. Are you okay?”
“I don’t think it’s something I need to ruminate on,” I whisper. “It hurt, but you healed me and I’m alive. Let’s just focus on that.”
Not alive like…really alive. I mean, I died to become Death. And then became undead.
Wait, am I a zombie?
Nina doesn’t hesitate. “Sure, okay. Whatever you need.”
We grab the targets and set them up at the end of the clearing. I’m not going to lie, pretending everything is fine and that I didn’t get shot by Nina’s dad is not weighing easily on me. I was terrified and goddamn it hurt. My existence was threatened.
But I can do this. Charlie thought he was protecting Nina. If he would have known it was me, he wouldn’t have shot me.
G
oddess, at least I hope not.
Chapter 64
Nina
I move behind my dad and Fal as they take aim at the targets on the other side of the clearing. I plop myself in the grass and watch them, not really paying much attention.
Fal almost died because my dad shot her. But…would she really die? She is the goddess of Death after all. She mustn’t die as others do, surely. But…what would happen to her?
My stomach twists, telling me I probably don’t want to know the answer to that question.
Before long, Selene joins me.
“How are you, Nina?” she asks, watching Fal take aim at a far-off target with practiced precision.
I sigh, wrapping my arms around my knees. “I don’t know.”
“You made a very wise decision,” she assures me and pats my hand.
I try not to take it as her being patronizing. I think it’s something a mother should say to a daughter. I think it is meant to be supportive.
“Then why do I feel sick to my stomach?”
“Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest ones to make,” she murmurs, and I can’t really tell who she is speaking to.
Probably both of us.
“I guess. I just hope he doesn’t hate me when he finds out what I did.”
Selene chuckles and watches my dad and Fal.
Fal is miming holding a gun and my dad is mimicking her, asking questions. She touches his arms and hands in a few spots and my daddy adjusts his grip.
“Oh, Nina. Your father could never hate you. You are the biggest joy of his life. He told me if I planned to leave in the future, I should go ahead and do so because he refuses to put you through the hurt it would cause.”
My eyes are burning. I close them tightly, trying to prevent the tears from falling.
My dad would let Selene go for me. He would let go of the love of his life just to save me from hurting. He’s always been so selfless, always putting me first and making sure I felt safe and loved.
It’s time for me to return the favor.
“Please don’t leave Daddy again.” I grab her hand, warm and soft against my increasingly rough hands. “I don’t want him to hurt either and if you left again, it would destroy him. I can’t take his happiness away. Please don’t take it away either.”
She squeezes my hand, smiling softly, reminding me of how the moon shines. Her eyes are glittering, but I soon realize it’s because of tears threatening to fall.
“I am here until my last breath. I only left both of you to keep you safe. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Nina. I always planned on returning when you were able to take care of yourself. I knew that, with your father’s compassion and my goddess essence within you, you would become so powerful. I just had to wait until you knew it for yourself, too.” Her bottom lip trembles before she presses it into a thin line. “I wish I could explain to you how terrified I was of losing you both. And I wish you understood the malice behind Zeus’ feelings toward me and my sister. He tolerates us because we didn’t stand with the Titans against him. But he has made it his mission to take away everything we hold dear as punishment for being Titans.”
“But…that’s not something you can help. That’s how you were born. Or created.”
But I get it. Once I decided I wanted to be wholly myself and tell the world I’m gay, I was almost immediately ostracized for it. And it’s something I can’t help. I’ve known since I was in sixth grade when I realized I like liked my best friend. I told her and she was disgusted. She never told anyone, but she never talked to me again either.
It’s just the way some people are and how they think. I wish I could change their minds and make them realize I didn’t choose this. Why would I want to make my life harder? It was already horrible enough.
Hecate and Selene didn’t choose to be Titans. It’s just a part of their life and something they can’t change.
“I understand how it feels to be treated differently because of who you are. It hurts and it made me feel broken, like something messed up when I was born to make me this way. Why me? And why does this matter so much to other people? I’m not hurting them.”
“I suspect you do understand,” Selene whispers, nodding.
I pick at the grass under my knees, releasing Selene’s hand. The green blades are soft against my fingers and calming. Nature has always calmed me this way. There is just a connection between us. Nature doesn’t judge. Nature just thrives despite everything around it wanting it destroyed.
I suppose I want to be that strong too.
“And you know what I realized? People ostracize others for being different because differences are scary. It’s an unknown unless you are the different person and, I think it terrifies them. They are intimidated and don’t like differences because they don’t understand them. And they don’t take the time to.” I bite the inside of my cheek and look at Selene.
She’s watching me with so much adoration on her face, my stomach flutters.
“Now, Zeus, I honestly think he’s just a douche canoe,” I add.
It makes her laugh, and the sound is lovely moonlight dancing on waves of joy. I love the music of it and I’m smiling by the time she composes herself.
“You know, Nina, your father loves you more than anything in the world. I know he would never change anything about you.”
“I know,” I nod and look over my shoulder at him asking Fal something and pointing to the gun. “When I told him about my…romantic preferences, he was like….’Uh huh, so what color on the rainbow flag is that?’ Stunned, I told him it was all of them and he nodded, went to the kitchen, and attempted to bake a rainbow cake.”
Selene laughs again. “Attempted?”
I nod again with a smile on my face, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain what it was supposed to be. “The cake itself turned different shades of brown, but the icing was a rainbow. I told him, in my opinion, it was a success.” I shrug and shake my head at the memory. He’s such a good dad. A great dad. A perfect dad.
“I wouldn’t change anything about you either. Not even your anger towards me,” Selene assures me, that lovely smile still sitting on her lips. “You are strong and intelligent, quick-witted and so so brave. I want to earn your forgiveness because, if I do, I’ll know it’s genuine and from your heart.”
My chest aches with something I can’t quite place. I’ve always wanted to hear those things from a mother and, here she is, doing exactly what I wanted. I want to forgive her, so badly it hurts, but I can’t trust her yet. I have to know she won’t leave again.
“Oh, Nina, I meant to ask you about the vision you had,” Selene whispers, ducking her head so she is closer to me.
I open my mouth to tell her and…
“Well, Nini, you didn’t tell me Fal here was a gun expert,” my dad says, walking up with a smirking Fal behind him.
She winks at me with that sexy crooked smile.
I clear my throat at blink apologies to Selene.
“That’s because I think she’s an everything expert,” I state, winking back at Fal. “Well, except cooking.”
She rolls her eyes and sits on the ground beside me. Her arm snakes around my back, pulling me to her side.
“Did you guys have fun?” I ask my dad as he sits by Selene and gently places his rifle beside him, barrel pointed away.
“Oh yeah!” my dad exclaims before Fal has a chance to speak. “Fal said I had pretty good aim.”
I cough, looking at Fal from the corner of my eye. Her jaw is clenched.
She’s not okay, then.
“Yeah, I just gave a few pointers on how sharp shooting works.” She shrugs, smiling softly at my dad. “After all, I’ve been training for years, almost since I could walk.”
My mouth falls open.
Fal!
Shit, she whispers back.
“Since you could walk? What in the world? Did you know you were going to be in,” my dad looks around and lowers his voice, “th
e CIA your whole life?”
Fal, I start.
Her fingers rapidly drum against my back.
Please, don’t try to fix it. Let me handle it.
“My parents were both agents for the government for most of their lives. One of the agreements on their contracts was, if they were to conceive, their children would be raised as agents.” She swallows hard, the only indication of her discomfort. “My brother works with me too.”
Smooth, Faligator.
She doesn’t think anything back, but she’s back to smirking. I love when she does that. Confidence is hot on her.
“Huh. Are your parents still in it or is it a ‘you get out, you get taken out’, type thing?”
“Daddy,” I scold under my breath. “You are so nosy.”
“Where do you think you got it from?” he asks, making his brows jump up and down.
Well. I guess that’s fair.
“Um, my mom, she, well,” Fal struggles, and I squeeze her thigh, hoping it helps a little.
Just in case, I pump some calm energy through her too.
“My mom was killed on the job when I was a kid and my dad,” she clenches her jaw, and I can hear her teeth straining with the pressure. “I never see him anymore. He got promoted and I don’t even know where he is or where he lives.”
I mean, she’s not lying exactly.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Fal. I didn’t know your mama passed. She obviously did a good job raising ya with the small time ya had her.”
Fal’s face burns pink and she ducks her head behind her hair. Other than when I tell her she’s beautiful, I hardly see her bashful. Ever. I smile at her when she flicks her eyes to me.
“I agree,” Selene chimes in, looking at my dad with a lot of love in her gaze. “I admire you, Falen. You take care of Nina, as I’m sure she takes care of you, and it takes someone with a lot of courage to do what you do.”
Goddess, make it stop, Fal begs me in my mind. Her face is bright red and she’s biting the inside of her lip.
They are right. You have a lot to be proud of, Fal.
